Silencing Memories

by Desiree Holt

  The house was comfortable, large without being pretentious, built for relaxed and happy living. A huge fireplace dominated one wall in the great room, with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on another. A door in one corner led to a little home office, most of it taken up by an old-fashioned desk and a computer setup. It was a place that instantly made a visitor feel relaxed.

  And everywhere he looked, there were pictures. Lindsey at various ages—swimming, horseback riding, sitting on the paddock fence, graduating from high school, from college. They reinforced his impression that this was a complex woman with many layers to her. A woman you didn’t just rush into your bed and send on her way when the heat died down. This was a woman you built a real relationship with, something Nick had always avoided. Why, then, was he even thinking about it now?

  He moved on to other pictures. A young Lindsey with a good-looking couple he guessed were her parents. In later years, Lindsey with her mother. He felt a strange sadness for her that someone who obviously reveled in family life now had none of her own. She would love the Vanetta family. Maybe when this was all over he could introduce her to them.

  Now there’s a scary thought.

  But it lodged in the back of his mind like a barnacle on a ship, reminding him of his earlier musings. He was wading in dangerous waters.

  The large kitchen had a welcoming and cheerful feel to it. And the aromas blending in the air made Nick’s mouth water the minute he entered the room. He took the seat next to Lindsey, his stomach definitely ready for the feast on the table. Crispy fried chicken, fluffy mashed potatoes, corn casserole, and homemade biscuits were passed around. Dessert was an apple pie with crust so flaky it melted on the tongue.

  ****

  Lindsey finally began to relax when she saw how easily Ruben and Mary accepted Nick and how comfortably he fit in with them. Their instincts were usually good, and she cared about their opinion. If they smelled trouble, the door slammed shut. She wanted the Medanas’ stamp of approval on the man who was hopefully going to get her out of this mess. Maybe this would work out after all, having yet another stranger invade her life.

  Still, she wasn’t looking forward to telling Ruben and Mary the real reason for his visit.

  “Heavy thoughts?” Nick asked as Mary cleared away dessert.

  Lindsey roused herself. “No. Just taking a moment to regroup.”

  When they were sitting with refills of coffee, Ruben looked evenly at Lindsey. “It’s nice that you brought someone home for a change, honey, but I get the feeling this isn’t a social visit. You want to tell us what’s really going on?”

  “You’re right. There’s nothing social about it.” She let out a long sigh, glanced at Nick, and was reassured by his warm smile. “Okay. I thought everything would have blown over by now or it would turn out to be just some prank, but…there are some things I need to tell you.”

  With Nick filling in details here and there, she told them about the pictures, her talk with Quinn, his insistence that she get someone professional to check into things and also provide protection.

  “And that’s how Nick came into the picture,” she finished. “He and Quinn are close friends and Quinn called in a favor.”

  “I’ll be using all the resources of Guardian Security,” Nick assured them. “Here’s what we’ve done so far.”

  He explained how and where they were in setting up protection as well as the process of investigating who the stalker could be. Ruben and Mary listened in silence, but Lindsey could tell they were getting madder and madder.

  “Is there some reason you didn’t feel you should tell us this before now, little one?” Ruben’s face was impassive, but his anger was almost palpable.

  “I’m sorry, Ruben.” She spread her hands helplessly. “I know I should have, but I kept thinking this was just a sick joke that would go away. I didn’t want to worry either of you if I didn’t have to.”

  “This is no joke, Lindsey.” He leaned forward across the table. “It’s our job to worry about you and you’d best not forget it. I promised your daddy I’d take good care of you, but you sure make it difficult sometimes.”

  “You don’t know all the ugliness that’s out there,” Mary added, getting up from the table. “I hope you never have to find out.”

  Ruben clomped off when they finished talking, saying he’d be right back. He returned to the kitchen with his rifle in one hand and his favorite Kimber 9 mm in the other. For a handgun, the Kimber was heavy with firepower. The snakes Ruben blasted with it usually needed a blotter to be collected.

  “Good weapon,” Nick commented.

  “The best,” Ruben said without a smile.

  Lindsey raised her eyebrows at the guns. “Think we’re fighting a militia here, Ruben?”

  “Hope not.” He winked at her, although his face still held vestiges of anger. “But at least no one will catch me off guard.” He leaned the rifle in a corner by the pantry and tucked the handgun into his belt at the small of his back.

  “Ruben, someone’s just trying to rattle my cage,” she admonished. “It’s not like we’re under attack or we’ll be having a gunfight out here. We’re just talking about a couple of pictures.” She turned to Nick, expecting him to back her up.

  “Right now he’s just sending you pictures,” Nick said. “But let’s not forget one of them was taken from the hotel next door, looking right into your little apartment.”

  “What?” Ruben’s outrage was palpable. “Someone’s spying on you?”

  “Please.” She wanted to smack Nick for throwing that little fact in there so carelessly. “I’m keeping my drapes closed.”

  “Damn straight,” Ruben growled. “Whoever this is, you don’t know what he or she has in mind.”

  “Ruben’s right,” Nick added, and she wanted to strangle him. “Your unknown stalker has already escalated to invading your privacy. I’m hoping whoever it is thinks it’s too risky or too much trouble tracking you down here at the ranch. However, stalkers have a tendency to accelerate once they think they’re achieving their objective. I for one will sleep a lot better knowing Ruben’s taking care of business here”

  “Wait.” Lindsey held up a hand. “Don’t I get a say here?”

  Nick gave her a lopsided grin. “You did. You said where’s the contract and where do I sign.”

  “Oh, for—” She threw up her hands. She couldn’t argue with that. And she was torn between wanting Nick and Ruben to pull out all the stops to protect her and finding out the stalking was just someone’s crazy idea of a prank.

  Nick rose from his chair. “Mary, that’s the best meal I’ve eaten in so long I forgot when the last one was. Thank you.”

  Mary just nodded her head, but Lindsey saw the little flash of pleasure on her face and swallowed a smile.

  She glanced at Nick. “I’m going out on the porch to finish my coffee. Want to join me?”

  “Sure. Just give me a minute.”

  She loved the rockers on this porch. They were so comfortable and sitting in one transported her from whatever stress she was dealing with. The tension in her body finally began to release. Spending time at this place she considered her ultimate refuge always had a calming effect on her.

  She had told Nick the truth. He was the first outsider she’d brought to the ranch in a very long time. Sometimes it saddened her, the path she had chosen. But she’d promised herself she’d never again be in a physical relationship that would end up leaving her emotionally bruised. Men wanted children. When they discovered she couldn’t have them, they hit the road so fast they left dust in their wake. When she’d learned what her situation was, she’d anguished and screamed, but then she’d come to terms with it. But she wasn’t about to put herself in the way of someone else’s rejection because of it.

  Nick Vanetta was not only a very good looking, totally sexy man. He was intelligent, solid, and comfortable in his own skin. The first man she’d met in ages who wasn’t full of himself. But it would be dangerous if the
y acted on whatever had popped up so quickly between them, the sizzle of chemistry that had niggled at her all day. Even thinking about it was a luxury she couldn’t indulge in.

  She had no reason to believe that, in the end, he would be any different than the other men who had mocked her sterility. They wanted sons with their own DNA. It was the typical attitude of the Texas alpha male, at least most of the ones she’d met. That still didn’t make it hurt any less.

  Anyway, she was probably daydreaming. Nick had the look of a man who could have any woman he wanted. Despite the flare of heat in his eyes when their hands touched and the smile that woke up the butterflies in her stomach, she probably wouldn’t even make his B list.

  The soft murmur of voices intruded on her reveries. When she turned her head, Ruben and Nick were walking up from the barn in quiet conversation. Without being told, she knew Nick had asked the older man to show him around the immediate property and point out areas of access besides the road. He did it without involving her, aware that it might put her on edge again.

  When they reached the porch, Nick thanked Ruben for his help, the two men shook hands, and Ruben went off to his own house.

  “Mary left coffee on in the kitchen if you’d like another cup,” Lindsey informed him.

  “No, thanks. I’m so stuffed I don’t think there’s room even for that.” He crossed his arms, leaned against the rail, and looked at her steadily. “I’d still feel a lot better if the Medanas were sleeping in this house. Ruben almost agrees with me, but you’re right. I can tell they wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it. So until this is over, when you come out here, I’ll be coming, too.”

  Her body tensed. “I don’t really think that’s necessary. As you can see, I’m well protected here.”

  “Lindsey.” His tone was one of incredible patience. “When I work with corporations to train their people, sometimes I’m at the site for weeks, maybe even a month. It’s part of the job. Besides, that’s what you’re paying me for. My time is your time.”

  “Oh, yes, that’s right.” Of course. He was giving her the services she was paying for. “Well, I think today has been long enough for me. I need to get some sleep.” She rose from the rocker. “I’m sure Mary has left plenty of towels for you and whatever else she thinks you might need. I’d like to leave by eight-thirty tomorrow, if that’s okay with you. I have a lot of work to do after today’s meeting, and I need to really dig in on the drawings for the Marquez house.”

  “No problem. I have an alarm on my watch, but I’m usually up by six anyway. Longtime habit.”

  “Well, goodnight, then.”

  She took her coffee cup into the kitchen, put it in the sink, and turned off the coffee maker. She assumed Nick had stayed on the porch, but when she climbed the stairs, he was right behind her. He was still on her heels when she walked down the hall. At the door to her room, she turned, only to find him so close they almost shared the same breath. A warm feeling crept through her body.

  “Goodnight again.”

  Go in the room, dummy. What’s the matter with you?

  His eyes, studying her face, were a darker brown, like melted chocolate. Her heartbeat skipped once, twice, and her breathing become shallow. She wanted to move, but she didn’t want to. His enormous image filled her vision, but his eyes were what held her immobilized.

  He put his hands lightly on her shoulders and looked down at her with those turbulent eyes. “We’ll get this person, Lindsey, That’s a promise. I’m very good at what I do. I’ll take care of this.” He rubbed her shoulders gently with his thumbs. “Sweet dreams.”

  Then he was gone to his room.

  Lindsey stood rooted to the spot, staring after him, finally rousing herself to move. Once in her room, she firmly closed the door. He was just doing his job. Making her feel safe. She had to keep remembering that.

  And the thing was, he did. When she’d looked into his eyes, she believed deep down that he was rock solid, that he would protect her, find the stalker, and make this nightmare go away.

  In the bathroom, she stripped, tugged on her sleep shirt, and splashed cold water on her face and hands. Exhausted but tense, she fell into bed.

  Chapter Seven

  Delighted to have Nick and his appetite in her kitchen, Mary prepared an elaborate breakfast. But while Nick fed his inner man with gusto, Lindsey’s stomach rebelled at the sight of so much food. Carefully seating herself on the opposite side of the table from him, she felt his eyes on her as she drank coffee and forced herself to eat some toast.

  Mary clucked at her as usual, but she was in so much turmoil she was sure food wouldn’t sit well on her stomach. Her sleep had been restless but at least, thank the Lord, not disturbed by the awful nightmares.

  Nick had put on his jeans and T-shirt again, and she looked at him questioningly. Surely he wasn’t going to wear that to her office.

  “We’re going to stop by my place on the way in,” he told her. “I need a bigger wardrobe if we’re going to be coming out here every night, and I want to ditch my dirty laundry.”

  “We won’t be long, will we?” She looked at her watch. “I told you I need to get to the office.”

  “And you will. I won’t be but a couple of minutes.”

  Promptly at eight-thirty, they pulled out through the gates onto the country highway. Lindsey glanced at Nick, and the same feeling washed over her again, the one she’d felt from their first meeting. Solid. Safe. Secure. The scruff that darkened his jaw line gave him a slightly menacing look, and she swallowed a smile. She hoped the stalker would get a good look at him this way. Maybe she could persuade him not to shave.

  “Are you all right?”

  With his eyes shielded the way they were, she couldn’t tell if he was looking at her or not. “Yes. Fine. Why?”

  He shrugged. “You just seem a little quiet.”

  “I have a lot on my mind.”

  “Of course. Let’s see if I can distract you a little. What kind of books do you like to read?”

  “What?” The question startled her. “Books?”

  “Yes. I know you like to read. The bookshelves in your living room are crammed with all kinds of genres. Myself, I like political thrillers, histories, and biographies. So what’s on your preference list?”

  By the time they reached his house, Lindsey had begun to see even more of the real depth of this man, the extent of his quiet intelligence. It seemed the more layers she peeled back, the more she was attracted to him. Something she’d have to keep a tight rein on. But she realized his ploy had worked. Some of the tension had eased from her body.

  Nick’s house, a two-story soft red-brick Tudor in upscale Alamo Heights, had a settled look to it. Mature plantings bordered the house, and two large crape myrtle trees stood sentinel in the front yard. Someone took very good care of the magnificent landscaping, keeping it neat and fresh and well-trimmed. Not at all what she’d been expecting.

  He punched a code into the transmitter clipped to his sun visor, and the garage door slid open. Grabbing his bag from the back seat, he led Lindsey inside and waved her toward the living room.

  “Look around if you’d like,” he said, taking the stairs two at a time. “I’ve heard architects like to take apart houses they didn’t design. I’ll be right down.”

  Lindsey looked around curiously. The house was impressive, with its spacious rooms, high ceilings, and wide windows. The floors were all original wood, polished to a high gloss. Crown molding trimmed the ceilings, giving them a traditional look. The furniture was masculine but not overbearingly so, mostly oak with rich burgundy leather upholstery. Everything had been carefully chosen for comfort as well as style. She wondered who’d been his decorator.

  The whole traditional ambience startled her. Somehow she’d pictured him in an ultra-modern condo overlooking a golf course, with furniture that looked like something from the next century. Maybe because all the other men his age she knew found that to be appropriate, a symbol of their lifest
yle. But this was the place of a man who wanted to make a home, a fact that startled her.

  She was exploring the gleaming kitchen with its oak cabinets and quartz counters when she heard Nick come downstairs.

  “All set,” he said, walking into the kitchen. He had changed into gray slacks, a gray and white striped shirt, and a black sports jacket.

  “Is black and gray the required color combination for security?” she couldn’t help asking.

  “Helps blend into the crowd better.” One corner of his mouth turned up. “I think the FBI started it.”

  “Your house surprises me,” she told him. “I never would have pegged you for such a traditionalist.”

  “It grounds me,” he said. “Everything else in my life is so transient because of my job that I needed something to give me a sense of belonging to the human race. Actually, one of my sisters is a real estate agent. She found it for me and badgered me until I bought it.”

  Lindsey kept forgetting he had a family somewhere out there. Another interesting side to an image he tried to keep one-dimensional.

  In the hallway, he picked up the soft leather suitcase and garment bag he’d left there. “Ready?”

  “Are you planning on moving in?” She arched an eyebrow.

  “Just being prepared.” He winked. “Okay. Let’s get going.”

  They were silent on the trip to her office, but the silence this time was more comfortable than before. She knew Nick was alert, watching for any car that might be tailing them or anything out of the ordinary, so she just leaned back and closed her eyes until they reached the parking garage.

  Brianna and Mark were both waiting somewhat impatiently outside the office when they exited the elevator, Bri’s foot tapping a sharp staccato. The techno twins were waiting stolidly with them, unfazed.