Monster Hunter Siege-eARC

by Larry Correia

  That gave me enough time to set up and slash the monster hard across the abdomen. It was such a solid hit that I felt the jolt clear up to my elbow. The rubbery meat opened and all sorts of disgusting, stinky, pink, awfulness fell out. The inside of the Vodyanoy smelled a lot worse than the outside. Hey, there’s my pistol.

  Krasnov hit it in the skull again with an awful crunch. I took a wild guess at where its heart would be and stabbed it there. One of those must have worked because the Vodyanoy toppled in a smelly, disgusting, slime covered heap. But neither of us was feeling confident that it was actually dead, so we spent the next few minutes bludgeoning and hacking it by the light of our discarded flash lights, until we were out of breath, but we were absolutely sure it was finished.

  “Apologies.” Krasnov was panting and sounded like he was about to have a heart attack. It was a good reminder to keep up on my cardio so I wouldn’t end up looking like him in a couple decades. “That was little bit more aggressive Vodyanoy than I was expecting.”

  “No shit?” I gasped. “I just thought you really knew how to throw a rampage.”

  * * *

  A little while later I was back in the parking lot, watching the sunrise over the concrete apartment buildings. I’d found a working hose around back and rinsed most of the Vodyanoy’s slime blood off of my clothing, so now I was soaked in cold water and freezing my ass off. But that stuff had been so foul that the shivering was worth it.

  “I have vodka in the car,” Krasnov offered.

  “No thanks.”

  “I do not understand turning down good vodka.” Krasnov was leaning on the trunk of his car, also soaked to the bone, but the advantage of being fat was all that insulation. Plus he was a Siberian, so this wasn’t cold by his standards. He had however gotten the living crap kicked out of him by the Vodyanoy, had two black eyes, a split lip, and was generally beat to hell. He was smoking a Cuban cigar and had put his ridiculous beret back on so he’d look respectable when the government authorities who were on their way arrived to tag the body and pronounce the contract filled.

  “You seem grumpy. I must admit I was not the most honest with you, Owen.”

  “This is my shocked face.”

  “Not about the Vodyanoy. That was surprise. He was supposed to be little fellow. But you saved my life, and a Krasnov never forgets such a thing. We have killed a monster together, and that makes us like brothers! Brothers should not keep secrets one from the other. I suspect I know why you have not told me what brings you to Russia.”

  He wasn’t currently blustering, posturing, or yelling, so I was tempted to believe him. However, I wasn’t going to commit to anything until I was certain he wasn’t going to immediately sell our mission out to Asag. “Let’s hear your theory.”

  Krasnov sighed at my obvious evasion. “I know that my reputation is not so good among western Hunters. Things are done different here. I do what I must. I do not have luxury to be picky about how business gets done. But you must know that there is one thing that a Krasnov will never lie about.”

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  He looked me square in the eyes. “I hate monsters.”

  “Welcome to the club.”

  “No, no.” He shook his head. “You do not understand. There is a game with people. You play, you try to win. You can stretch the truth for business. It is only money. But when it comes to monsters, it is us against them. It is war! Monsters must be beaten, no matter what. My worst enemy becomes best friend when beasts attack us. Men put aside our differences to defeat monster evil…It is said that you killed a god, yes? I think you intend to do it again, no?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Then you would not have come seeking my help if it was not needed. I tell you this with all the sincerity of my heart, if it is a big monster you have come here to destroy, then I will help. I must help. It is my duty.”

  He sounded sincere. “I am here about a particular monster, one that endangers us all. But secrecy is of the essence. I’d need assurances that you’d not talk about my mission…our mission, to anyone.”

  “I am very good at keeping secrets.” Krasnov stroked his magnificent mustache thoughtfully. “I will do better than make promises. Promises are just words.” He’d taken off his sword and sheath to clean the slime off of it, and left it sitting on the trunk of the car. Krasnov picked it up, studied it for a moment, and then stood up with a grunt and a pained grimace. The Vodyanoy had really done a number on him. He hobbled over to face me. “This is a Cossack blade. It belonged to my grandfather who carried it in the Great Patriotic War, and his grandfather, and maybe his grandfather before him. For generations Krasnovs have defended this land against demons and Fey, and when I learned of this, I left the army to do what I must to carry on such legacy. And whole time I used this!” He presented the sword to me. “Here!”

  “I can’t take—”

  “Not to keep, but you take it until our work is done. It is symbol of trust! When battle is joined, and I have proven a true and faithful friend, you can give it back. This way you know that I only speak the truth!”

  Damn. That really was something. I took hold of the sword. “Thank you.”

  Only he didn’t let go yet. He squinted at me. “And my company keeps all Russian government contract funds for any monsters killed in my territory.”

  “You shifty, conniving, dirt bag.”

  “Thank you, Owen.”

  “We’re putting up the muscle, half.”

  “Ninety percent. You Americans can’t claim it without me anyway.”

  “Sixty, forty.”

  “Ha! For such a pittance I would not even be able to guarantee the safe passage of your equipment. At eighty percent I would be able to take care of customs and bribery. There are many thieves in Russia.”

  “You don’t say…” He was way better at negotiation than Kevin the junior lawyer. “Seventy, thirty.”

  “Excellent.” Krasnov grinned, thinking I was a sucker. “MHI gets thirty percent of Russian contract monies. We have deal, yes?”

  Normally PUFF could only be collected if it was killed in the US or its territorial interests, unless the MCB categorized the monster as a potential extinction-level threat or minion of a potential extinction-level threat, and then they didn’t care where you killed it, as long as it got dead. Asag would certainly count. That took care of the US. Because of their byzantine laws I hadn’t thought we’d be able to collect any of the Russian government’s version of PUFF, but there was nothing better than getting paid multiple times for the same work. “You’re on.”

  “Then it is settled.” He let go of the sword. “Please, take good care of that.”

  “I will.” Then he engulfed me in a ridiculous, rib crushing, bear hug. He actually lifted my boots off the ground. My back popped. “Ooof.”

  He dropped me. “Now, that we are officially associates, what can I really do for you?”

  This was as much as I could hope for. I had to go for it. “We need to conduct a large scale operation on Severny Island.”

  “I know this place.” Krasnov scowled. “Do not tell me you wish to visit the anomaly at Sukhoy Nos Cape.”

  “That’s it.”

  “That is a very bad place, my friend. There is great evil there.”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  * * *

  While Krasnov spoke with the government officials from their shadowy MCB equivalent, I wandered over to where Holly had been spying on us the whole time. Of course she’d followed us. I’d carried a tracking device on me. I hadn’t trusted Krasnov as far as I could throw him, and since he outweighed me, that wasn’t very far at all.

  She was leaning against a light pole down the street. “You look like shit.” Holly said as I approached. “Want me to call a taxi?”

  “Naw, I’ll ride back with Krasnov. We’re business partners now…or something.”

  “Sweet. You’re a made man.” She opened her coat to show me she had an o
ld Stechkin machine pistol tucked in her pants. “I stole this from your buddy’s car after you went inside, so you’ll probably want to put it back in the glove box before he notices.”

  “Were you going to bust in and rescue us eventually?”

  “When I realized it was an actual legit monster in there and they weren’t just abducting you to harvest your corneas to sell them on the internet, I hung back. I didn’t want to break up the male bonding moment. I figured two big strapping studs like you should be able to handle a whatever that was. The way you smell, I’m assuming some sort of sewer squid.”

  “I wish.” I handed her the Krasnov family ancestral sword. “Check out my awesome new sword. It is a symbol of our trust and enduring friendship, and him getting seventy percent of any Russian bounty money for basically nothing.”

  Holly half drew it and studied the shiny blade. She ran her thumb down the edge. “You do realize this is probably a fake and he bought it at a gas station, right?”

  “Very possibly, but I figure with Krasnov it’s the sentiment that counts.”

  CHAPTER 7

  One thing about gallivanting around the world, you get really behind in your paperwork. MHI had a lot of revenue, but a correspondingly ton of expenses. As the Finance Department, it was my job to make sure everything got tracked and every account balanced. Even when I was traveling I would still check in whenever I could and work remotely. Not that any of our employees were stupid enough to risk embezzling from Earl Harbinger, but mistakes happen. A good accountant caught those fast. You had to keep up on this stuff.

  Which was why I found myself staring at my phone, confused as hell, and wondering why tens of millions of dollars had suddenly materialized in one of MHI’s bank accounts.

  Holly and I were standing in line to go back through customs with hundreds of other tired, cranky, jet lagged travelers. She must have heard me make a strange noise, because she asked. “What’s wrong? Please tell me Krasnov didn’t hook you up with some souvenirs of questionable legality and you just now realized you’ll need to declare them.”

  “We’re rich.”

  “Well yeah. I don’t do this job strictly for the entertainment value.”

  “No.” I held up my phone and whispered. “I mean unexpectedly rich. As in a whole bunch of money just got wired into MHI’s accounts.”

  She leaned in, saw the number, and whistled. “Maybe Julie scored some awesome new contract while we were away.”

  “She didn’t tell me about any, and besides those take months to process all the paperwork. Something else is going on.”

  “Santa?” Holly put her hands to her cheeks and faked glee.

  “I have been super good this year.”

  “Not me. Naughty list is where it’s at.”

  “You are such a tease.” It wasn’t from the Treasury Department, so none of it was PUFF. There had been several big wire transfers, but I didn’t recognize any of the company names. They were all generic corpo-speak names, global, omni, mega, whatevers. I would have to delve into this more later, but that would have to wait until I was someplace with a more secure connection.

  I made it through customs. Holly had a few issues, but that was because you could import some alcohol without paying the federal excise tax. However, that was in liters, not gallons. And Krasnov’s going away gift baskets had been basically a suitcase full of expensive liquor bottles. I had to admit, it was fun to hear a Hunter argue with a federal agency other than the MCB.

  While I waited for her to get through, another traveler bumped into me. He’d been head down, in a hurry, with a big roller bag. We both said excuse me. No big deal.

  And a few seconds later a phone rang in my coat pocket. It was a different ring tone than I was used to. When I fished it out, I was surprised to discover a phone I’d never seen before. I looked around, but the traveler who had just bumped me was already gone.

  The screen on the new phone just said Management.

  “Hello?”

  “Greetings, Mr. Pitt. Welcome back to your native land. I hope that you had a most pleasant journey.”

  I recognized the voice of Management the dragon immediately. I had to laugh. “You’re alive.”

  “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

  “I saw your place. That was a hell of a fight.”

  “Indeed, a most unfortunate loss of real estate. Many irreplaceable treasures were ruined. Arranging such a sudden move was both a terrible logistical burden, and a dreadful inconvenience. I intended to live the rest of my days there, so I was exceedingly cross. Do not worry. This line is encrypted so we may converse freely.”

  “I got the spell you left for me, and the file from your lawyer.”

  “You are a regular Sherlock Holmes, Mr. Pitt. I am afraid that my alerting you about our mutual opponent has greatly complicated my lifestyle. However, I prefer to always look on the bright side. In this case, I would prefer for certain individuals—such as ancient chaos demons or Machiavellian albinos—to retain the belief that I have perished…So please, walk while we speak, Mr. Pitt. The line may be secure, but our foes have spies everywhere and it is best not to underestimate them. The lovely maiden Miss Newcastle will catch up. And though it is difficult for a mammal of your stature, do try to look casual.”

  Management didn’t really have room to talk about stature since he was the size of a train. I started walking. “I bet you’re watching me through the security cameras now.”

  “Of course. Which companies do you think sold all of this equipment to the TSA?” The dragon seemed pleased with himself. “I am also aware that you have seen the status of your accounts this morning. I too check my portfolio promptly first thing every morning. Yes, yes. Those transfers are from some of my various shell companies. In fact, I also own a controlling interest in your bank. There will be several more substantial transfers over the next few days. They will each be followed with an imaginary services contract which will provide cover for tax purposes. No need to thank me, Mr. Pitt.”

  “I wasn’t going to thank you just yet. MHI isn’t a charity, and that kind of generosity always comes with a catch.”

  “No catch. I consider this an investment. My expected return on this investment is merely the due and dispassionate revenge against the being that unleashed a nightmare beast into my casino. Through analyzing your recent actions, I have come to understand your goals, and I fully support them. However, I do not think you have you realized the financial magnitude of the endeavor you intend to undertake. Invasions are costly. Thus, I wish to bankroll this punitive expedition of yours. My greatest sadness is that I will not be able to participate in the glorious shopping spree which will surely ensue.”

  I could only imagine his vast bulk hiding in another gold plated cave somewhere, plotting, but piles of money never hurt. “That sounds reasonable.”

  “It is your destiny to defeat him, so I have taken it upon myself the destiny of paying for it all.” Management chuckled. “I knew you were a man of discernment. All I would ask is that, as you humans would say, wreck his shit. I want his plans thwarted. I want him to feel as frustrated as I have been.”

  “That’s the general idea.”

  “Excellent, Mr. Pitt! Now this is a good place to stop your stroll.”

  I was walking past a food court. It smelled like too strong coffee and expensive cinnamon buns. I did as the mysterious dragon billionaire asked and stopped. “Do you happen to have any more information about our mutual friend?”

  “Nay. Nothing beyond the file you have already retrieved. He has cloaked his dealings in deceit. He utilizes minions ignorant of their master’s mission. It is difficult to separate the truth from the myth. Alas, I cannot even vouch for the accuracy of what I’ve already provided. Tread carefully, for this is an opponent who we understand very little about. He is vile and cunning, yet his ultimate motives remain a mystery.”

  I was afraid of that. “How can I reach you?”

  �
�You cannot. That would defeat the purpose of going into hiding. I did not ever intend to move from my last cave. I would be greatly saddened to ever be forced to do so again. If necessary, I will reach you. Now, if you will look to your left, there is a trash can. When we terminate this call, please place this phone into the receptacle.”

  “I’ve got to say it was good to hear your voice. I’m really glad you made it out of there alive, Mr. Management.”

  “As am I, Mr. Pitt. As am I. Farewell and God speed.”

  After the dragon hung up on me, I put the phone into the trash. About ten seconds later a janitor conveniently came over and removed the bag. I had no doubt that bag was about to get tossed right into an evidence scrubbing fire.

  I bought a giant, expensive, airport cinnamon bun and waited for Holly to catch up. Earl might not want me to break too many expense accounts, but I figured this one was on Management.

  * * *

  It was Go/No-Go day.

  That meant I got to give a briefing, present a plan, and then all the clever Hunters would try to poke holes in it. Nobody would hold back. Hunters don’t get points for nice, and better to get the stupid ideas out of the way now, than later when they’d cost lives. After everybody had their say, Earl would make his final call. Since he’d been keeping up on all my findings so far, I was pretty sure he had already made his decision, but I also suspected Earl liked watching us argue just in case somebody brought up a point he hadn’t thought of. Or maybe he just enjoyed a good fight.

  The conference room was packed. Boss Shackleford sat at the head of the table, because even though Earl was the Director of Operations—and his dad—Raymond Shackleford the Third was still a big freaking deal and his opinion mattered more than the rest of the non-Shacklefords put together. Julie’s grandpa had aged a lot over the years since I’d met him, but his mind was almost as sharp as the point on the hook he had for a hand. His health had gotten degraded enough that he was all but retired, but on paper he was still the official head of MHI, and had forgotten more about this life than most of us would ever know.