Finding My Faith

by Carly Fall

  “Oh, shit. Faith. How the hell? We need to get you out.”

  He reached for her outstretched hands and began to pull. He heard her hiss and stopped.

  “Rayner, please! Just get me out of here!”

  He gently pulled again, not wanting to hurt Faith. She muffled a sob, and he stopped. She had jammed herself in the rocks so deep, he was afraid he would scrape and cut her up if he just pulled with all his might.

  “Oh my God,” Faith sobbed. “I’m stuck. I’m stuck, Rayner!”

  He looked around, feeling the pressure of time. If the Colonist figured out Faith had outsmarted him and came back…

  “Rayner, pull! Just pull and don’t worry about hurting me!”

  Closing his eyes for a second, he mustered the will to do as she asked. The thought of him being responsible for even a scratch on her skin sat with him about as well as a case of scabies. However, if that Colonist came back…

  He hauled her up as if he was pulling a feather pillow from a bed. Once her feet hit the rock he stood on, he wrapped her in his arms.

  “Faith, I'm...I'm so sorry.”

  She nodded into his chest while grabbing his waist.

  “Let's get out of here before the cocksucker finds out you outsmarted him,” Rayner whispered.

  She nodded again. He turned around. “Get on, Faith. We are so gone.”

  There was no hesitation as she grabbed onto his shoulders, then jumped and locked her legs around his waist. She laid her head between her shoulder blades and said, “Go. Please. Just get me out of here.”

  Rayner scurried down the rocks, then hit the beach at a full run. He didn't feel the extra weight of Faith on his back. He just ran as both their lives depended on it, as though the wind were carrying him, as if he had the wings of angels under him, helping him to tear through the forest and the dark night.

  Chapter 46

  Rayner practically threw Faith into the front seat of the Escalade, buckled her in, and slammed the door. He got into the driver’s seat and gunned the engine while ripping out his cell phone. He glanced over at Faith as he listened to the ringing on the other end. It seemed to him she was almost catatonic. He, on the other hand, was beginning to shake with anger, fear, and guilt. Weren’t they just the pair.

  “What’s up, Rayner?” Hudson’s deep voice reverberated through the phone.

  “The Colonist is in Flagstaff,” he said quietly. “He almost got Faith, but I’ve got her now.”

  Rayner listened to Hudson lay out a few rip curses, and then Hudson said, “What’s the address? I’m coming up there to gut that fucker.”

  Rayner gave Faith’s parents’ address and he listened as Hudson yelled at Cohen. “Saddle up, Cohen! We’re going hunting!”

  Cohen said something inaudible and Hudson answered, “Flagstaff. He almost got Faith.”

  This time, Rayner heard exactly what Cohen had said, and it was along the same lines of Hudson’s plan for the Colonist.

  “Did he hurt anyone?” Hudson asked.

  Rayner glanced over at Faith again. Her eyes were open, but it was as if she wasn’t seeing anything, just staring out the window, her hand at her throat, rubbing that claw.

  “Yeah. Yeah, he did.”

  “Who?”

  “I can’t man. I can’t.”

  There was a beat of silence. “Faith’s parents?” Hudson asked.

  Rayner nodded, even though Hudson couldn’t see him. “Yeah.”

  “After I gut him, I’m going to piss on his corpse. Where are you, Rayner?”

  “We’re on I-17 on our way back to the silo.” He paused a beat. “And Faith isn’t leaving this time, Hudson.” She wouldn’t leave until the Colonist was caught, and only then, if she wanted to, would she be allowed to go. Chevey had nothing on the over-protective thing.

  There was a moment of silence, and then Rayner heard an engine gunning. “I’m cool with that, Rayner. I like her.”

  Rayner didn’t answer. He liked her, too. Well, he actually loved her with every fiber of his being.

  “I’m calling Noah when we get off the phone,” Hudson said. “I’ll get him and Talin down here. Noah sent Jovan back east, so he’s out of the picture.”

  “Okay,” Rayner said quietly. He glanced over at Faith again. She was scaring the hell out of him with her space cadet routine.

  “Take care of your female, Rayner,” Hudson said. “See you when we get back.”

  Chapter 47

  Two Days Later

  Rayner paced his room, wearing a path in the carpet. The silo was empty, except for Faith and him. Hudson and Cohen were still in Flagstaff, leaving no stone unturned, literally and figuratively, in their hunt for the Colonist.

  Checking the clock on his bedside table, he realized that the place would be humming in about two hours with Noah, Abby and Talin. Hudson had kept his word and called them, and after wrapping up some loose ends in Reno, they had chartered a plane and headed down.

  Faith hadn't done much of anything except curl up in Rayner's bed staring at the wall or sleeping. She didn't speak. He had to tell her when to eat, he picked her up to go to the bathroom, and he decided that she needed to bathe today. He tried talking to her, but she ignored him. Eventually he said, “Faith, I’m going to pick you up and get you in the shower.” When he didn’t hear any protest, he had done exactly as he said. As he stood in the shower with her, washing her hair, he noticed her breathing became labored.

  “Faith?” he said quietly. As he watched her, he began to worry. She looked as though she were hyperventilating. Like she was trying to get something out of her body.

  Suddenly, an ear-piercing, glass-shattering screaming-type sound bounced off the marble in the bathroom. Rayner was startled for a moment, wondering if there was an alarm going off in the silo. When he realized it was coming from Faith, he wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed as though the scream lasted for minutes, but he really didn’t know. When the sound finally stopped, it was replaced by wracking sobs. Faith held her head in her hands, and Rayner watched as her body shook so hard it looked like she was having convulsions. Not sure what to do, he went on instinct.

  “Come here, love,” he said, turning her around and bringing her to his chest. He felt her arms snake around his waist as the warm jets of water pounded them both. After what seemed like an hour, the sobs subsided, and Rayner felt a deep-seated hatred for himself. How could have he been so stupid to bring Faith back to her parents? Doing so had gotten them killed. And almost Faith as well.

  He wrapped her in a towel and had her sit down on a stool that was kept under the vanity. He slowly combed her hair out, careful not to tug too hard at the tangled mess, and then dried most of it with a towel. Finally, dressed her in fresh pajamas, he carried her back to bed.

  She resumed her fetal position, closed her eyes, and within moments, her breathing was even and deep, indicating sleep.

  Rayner put his hand through his still wet hair and let out a long exhale. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know what to do, and he felt utterly lost and helpless.

  “Rayner?” Faith’s soft voice laced with sleep called him.

  “Yes, love. I’m right here,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

  “Please. Hold me Rayner. Don’t let go.” It was a desperate plea if he had ever heard one.

  He could so do that. Happy he had been given a job, given a purpose, he stretched out next to Faith and gathered her in his arms. Next to him, she seemed so small, so fragile. He buried his face in her hair, making a silent promise to her, and to himself, that he would never, ever, let her go again.

  ***

  A few hours later, Rayner woke and looked at the clock. Noah, Abby, and Talin must have arrived. He looked at the phone and saw the voicemail light blinking. He disengaged from Faith, picked up the phone, and listened to Noah’s voicemail; they were at the silo. Rayner wondered what time it was. The clock read 11:00 p.m. Man, his sleeping habits were out of whack. He looked ove
r at Faith; she was in a deep sleep.

  He hadn’t bothered with the special contacts since he got home with Faith. He wasn’t going to try to snow her any longer. The room was bathed in a red glow from his eyes.

  He stretched, got up from the bed and used the bathroom. Starving, he hit the elevator to carry him to the kitchen area.

  Throwing together a ham sandwich he didn’t bother with a table and chair while eating. He chowed down while standing at the kitchen sink. He was startled when Noah came around the corner, his eyes glowing a bright orange, carrying a large glass of scotch. “Hey, man,” Noah said quietly.

  Rayner gave him a nod, his mouth full.

  Noah waited until Rayner had swallowed. “How is she?”

  Rayner let out a long exhale, glad to finally have someone to talk to. “I don’t know, Noah. She’s in some sort of…fucked up place. I don’t know what to do and how to fix it. I feel about as useful as bird shit at the bottom of a cage.” He met Noah’s eyes, and Noah nodded, taking a long sip of his drink.

  Noah stared off into space for a moment. “This may be something you can’t fix, Rayner,” he said quietly. “It may just take time. Maybe you should let Abby talk to her a while. Get you out of the room for more than a few minutes at a time. Maybe that whole female-to-female thing would help.”

  Rayner nodded. “I’m heading back. I hate leaving her. If I didn’t have to eat, I wouldn’t.”

  “Okay. ‘Night, my friend. Think about what I said.”

  Rayner thought about leaving Faith for any amount of time while the elevator carried him down the belly of the silo. He didn’t think it was in his genetic make-up to do so at that point. He checked his watch. Yeah, that ham sandwich had lasted exactly fifteen minutes. Anything more, and he wouldn’t be able to deal. He was an overbearing, overprotective SR44 male who’s female was hurting. He wouldn’t be going anywhere for any length of time.

  The next morning, Abby and Noah came down to his quarters. Noah had given the excuse that he needed to talk about Faith's attack and the Colonist for a brief period of time in the War Room, and he didn’t want Faith to overhear their discussion. Abby agreed to sit with Faith while they did so. Abby ended up locking Rayner from the room for hours. Rayner had not been happy, but Noah had kept him from tearing the damn door off its hinges.

  “Let her talk to Faith for a while, Rayner,” Noah gritted out while pile driving him into the elevator wall. Noah had hit the emergency stop on the elevator, and they were stuck in between floor four and five.

  “I need to get back to her,” Rayner hissed back, slamming Noah into the other elevator wall. He was a male without his mate. His mate who had been hurt by so many things in such a short period of time. Him, the death of her parents, the sheer terror that only a Colonist could dish out.

  “If I need to pay to have this elevator repaired, I'm taking it out of your fucking hide!” Noah yelled while slamming Rayner back into the elevator wall and eventually pinning him.

  “Noah,” Rayner gasped, Noah's forearm against his throat, “you of all people should understand that I need to be in there. I need to fucking be in there!” He brought his knee up, sparing Noah's balls, but connecting with his lower ribcage.

  Noah backed off, grabbing his chest, and Rayner heard him murmur something about getting the short end of the stick in the plan. Noah stood up straight after a moment and said, “I do get it, Rayner. Better than any other male in this place. However, I also know that you aren't in your right mind. So, I'm sorry my man, I don't think the elevator can take anymore and my patience is done. I'm not putting up with this SR44 possessive male bullshit.” He then hit Rayner with an uppercut that made his knees buckle. As Rayner sank to the floor, he briefly saw stars and the blackness overtook him.

  Chapter 48

  Rayner woke in his bed next to Faith. He had no idea how much time had passed. Her head lay on the pillow next to his, her eyes were on him, her hand fingering her necklace. He didn't know if it was night or day, but he did know that he wanted to relive this moment for the rest of his eternity. Over and over again. He imagined waking up every day for the rest of his existence with Faith looking at him, and a peaceful calm that he had never felt came over him.

  “Hi,” she said quietly.

  It was the first word he'd heard out of her since just after the screaming incident in the shower.

  “Hi,” he whispered back. Damn, his jaw hurt. Noah would pay for that uppercut.

  They stared at each other for a moment. Rayner took in the beauty of her face, her smooth skin, the warmth of her eyes, her hair cascading around her shoulders.

  He slowly reached out to her necklace. She removed her hand, and he took the claw in his hand. It was a nice piece, hand-made, and very important to her. He had noticed that her hand went to it often. “What does this represent to you, Faith?”

  “My…mom made it for me. It’s a bear claw that represents inner strength within the Navajo culture.”

  Rayner couldn’t help but smile. “It’s served you well.”

  For a moment, there was the comfortable silence they were accustomed to sharing while they studied each other’s faces.

  “Your eyes are beautiful,” she said quietly.

  He stared at her, determined to let her see all of him. Even if it looked like he had a blowtorch for a brain.

  “Abby...Abby explained everything,” she said quietly.

  Well, maybe the whole keep-Rayner-from-Faith thing hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

  "Everything?"

  Faith nodded. "Yes. It's been a little hard to wrap my mind around all of it, but I'm trying. It...explains so much about why you wouldn't be with me. What happened between us."

  "I was trying to protect you, Faith," Rayner said quietly. "I did a crappy job of it, but I was trying to keep you out of danger from the Colonist, and from the knowledge of...what I am. And I’m so sorry, Faith. I…I can’t believe how badly I fucked everything up."

  “Rayner, what happened wasn’t your fault. You didn’t shoot my parents. I understand what you were trying to do.”

  He stared at her face for a long while.

  “Please,” she said, “don’t let what happened make you feel guilty. I don’t think it was your fault. I don’t think you were responsible for...for…”

  Tears streamed down her face. She took a deep inhale and exhaled slowly. "I'm glad I finally got the truth about you," she whispered. “I understand, Rayner.”

  She looked down at the sheet between them, picking at something that wasn't there. "My parents told me about this legend involving a girl with hair of fire and a guy with—"

  "I know. Your dad told me the legend as well."

  She nodded and met his eyes. "I–I don't know whether to believe..."

  As far as this face-to-face was concerned, he frankly didn't care whether the legend was true or not. Chevey had said that he wouldn't lose his night wolf spirit, but he didn't have a night wolf spirit. He had an SR44 form, and if it stayed and the legend was somehow true, fine. If he lost his SR44 form, he didn't care. He really didn't. It didn't matter to him one way or the other. He knew that Faith was far more important. She made him feel things for the first time in a very long time; she made him feel alive. She gave him the feeling of pleasure, and not just in a sexual sense. Yes, she was damn good at that, but she had shown him that there was something beyond his single focus of going home. With Faith in his life, he was...awakened. He wanted to live, to explore, to see new things, to experience new things. There was so much on Earth that he had denied himself, so many experiences he hadn't had. The sweet face he was staring at had been skydiving for God's sake. How had he missed out on that? But more importantly, why had he missed out on it?

  Why had he never taken a walk through the desert and really taken a close look at his surroundings? Why didn't he know what scat was? Yes, Cohen had shared his experience of his jaunt through the desert with Faith. Rayner had been so focused on getting home that h
e hadn't done a damn day of living.

  Until Faith. She made him feel as alive as he had been on SR44, except this time he had someone he loved to share it with. To share a life with. Like he used to be, she had one foot in the wild adventurous world, and one foot planted firmly in her belief in family and her heritage.

  He thought of the legend Chevey had spoke of before he went on to his next life with Anna. He didn't know if the whole thing was true, but honestly, what were the chances of a scarce red-haired Navajo beauty meeting up with another guy with red eyes? Surely, that had to be hovering in the none-to-negative range.

  As he thought about Chevey's words, he felt the truth of them sink down in his bones. He might not be the red-eyed night wolf warrior of the legend, but maybe that was why the stories were called legends. The stories themselves changed. Maybe somewhere down the line of the telling of the story someone had inserted the whole wolf part. He didn't know. What he did know was that he was where he was supposed to be, and he and Faith would give birth to a true savior of many people. How could he deny himself this future? How could he deny Faith her own destiny?

  Sure, it killed a small part of him to think that he would never see his family again, but neither would Faith. They were both orphans to a certain extent, both having nothing to hold onto but each other. But together they could, and would, build a beautiful future.

  “I love you,” he whispered, brushing her face with his finger. “I've loved you from the first second I laid eyes on you. I've tried so hard to deny it to myself, and when I couldn't deny it any longer, I tried to ignore it, to separate myself from it. From you. But I can't. Within you, I've...found my faith in my future.”

  He watched the tears stream down her face. This wasn't exactly what he wanted to see. Tears weren't good. She was supposed to smiling now that he had finally admitted what a complete and total jackass he was.