by Mia Ford
“Well, it’s good to know that if I did die, I wouldn’t be missed, but I actually have a question for you.”
“Okay,” Gavin answered, obviously annoyed by my presence. Apparently, he wanted to return to whatever it was he was doing before I arrived as fast as humanly possible.
However, since he was the only person I could talk to about this, he needed to suck it up and talk to me.
“Thanks, well, have you ever really missed a girl, after you’ve slept with her?”
“You mean, physically? Nobody enjoys a cold bed,” he replied, in somewhat of a dismissive manner.
“No, I mean, like…you want to see her again and you want to get to know her.”
“I don’t know. I mean, I guess. I think every woman has a unique inner beauty and sometimes, I prefer some women over others. You have to be able to explore, man,” Gavin insisted, “You’re so worried about what other people are going to think and say.”
“Yeah, but what if I don’t want to explore. What if I’m happy with what I have…or what I could potentially have?”
“Then, go after it. I don’t really see the dilemma here?”
“What if I can’t?”
“Why not?” Gavin asked, but after a moment, he seemed to be able to link everything together from the other night. “Oh…You got with that chick from the party, didn’t you? The one that Ben told you to stay away from…” He cackled, “Well, how was it?”
“Dude,” I answered, trying to hide the snicker that the thought of the other night brought on.
“Can’t hurt to try,” he responded, his shoulders raising and lowering as he spoke. “But seriously, it really doesn’t matter what everybody else wants for you, if you’re not happy. You don’t have to sleep with the women that Ben, or your dad, or I want you to sleep with. Marriage is a long way off and even then; you have to wake up next to that chick every day. They don’t…”
“I don’t know if I want to marry her, I mean, I was only with her one time,” I insisted, feeling my heart start to race at the thought of that kind of commitment. “You don’t think me pursuing her is going to make her think that right away, do you?”
“Collin, take a breath,” Gavin insisted, “All I’m sayin’ is you never know if you don’t try. Eventually, you’re going to marry someone. If she’s not the right girl, it won’t work out and you’ll find someone else but you have to do you, because you know if you don’t make a decision, and fight for that decision, that your father is going to make that decision for you…And I know you don’t want that to happen.”
I shuttered at the thought of the kind of woman my father would want me to marry. My mother was the rare exception to my father’s normal type; which he quickly returned to afterward. I think that my father did love my mother and probably still does, but it wouldn’t have been good for his image, so he had to let her go.
I was quiet for a moment as I realized the wisdom and truth in Gavin’s ultimate advice.
“So,” I inquired eventually, “You think I should find her and ask her out on a proper date?”
“I think you should do whatever makes you happy, dude. I sure as hell aren’t going to care about it and as for the rest of ‘em, I’m not convinced you should give two shits what they have to say.”
I grinned, wishing I could be more laid back and level headed, like Gavin. Even though he was part of our group, even Ben knew not to mess with him, because he wouldn’t get anything out of him.
Gavin could do whatever he wanted, because if anyone said anything to him, he would let it roll right off his back. Therefore, there was no consequence that threatened him. Even getting kicked out of school wasn’t something he feared.
The professors knew this and so, they did their best to help him stay.
(His father had a lot to do with that decision but, like me, Gavin was the complete opposite of his father.) Unlike me, though, Gavin really didn’t care. He never let his father get to him. Instead, he would stand up for himself and what he believed. He knew what he had but he wasn’t afraid of doing things his own way.
“Thanks, man,” I replied, standing up as I heard the door open.
Instinctively, I turned to see who it was and automatically, I felt the reigniting of a burning rage inside me.
“What the hell happened to your face, Ben?” I demanded, seeing the big black eye that was starting to yellow. My heart was pounding, and I could hardly keep myself standing still. Even before receiving his answer, I wanted to leap across the living room and pummel him.
“The fuck you care?” Ben spat, immediately defensive.
“He said somebody hit him at the party the other night,” Gavin answered for him, looking between us in a confused manner. “What does it matter?” He focused his expression on me. Ever the peacemaker, Gavin hated when there was hostility between anyone in the household.
“It matters,” Ben broke in, taking a few steps toward me, “Because his bitch-ass girlfriend was the one who hit me.”
“Why?” Gavin didn’t understand, but I was fuming so much my ears were ringing. It was all I could do to keep myself from launching myself at him.
Ben sneered, answering Gavin’s question, but looking straight at me, “Because, like I told you the other night, she’s got a stick up her ass and doesn’t know her place.”
“Well, it looks like she did a pretty good job of putting you in yours,” Gavin spoke up, laughing at his own joke as he tried to extinguish the heated tension.
“Oh, I put her in her place, alright. That little hit didn’t stop me from taking what was mine.”
At this, I lost it. I would’ve been angry at him for taking advantage of anyone, but by the way he spoke and the look in his eye, I knew he had agreed to sleep with her specifically to fuck with my head.
This had nothing to do with anyone knowing their place but me. He was trying to teach me a lesson. Even now, knowing that his efforts failed, he still wasn’t giving up on trying to make me look like shit.
“Whoa, dude? What the fuck?” Gavin demanded, but before Ben could respond, I had leapt over the couch and smashed Ben against the wall.
“Take it back! You are a lying sack of shit, and everybody in this house knows it!” I screamed as the two of us squared off. “They may not have the balls to admit it, but I sure as hell do!”
We were both kicking and punching at one another, with rabid screams and grunts audibly illustrating the force of our blows. Neither one of us was holding back, though the connection rate for both of us was nearly nonexistent.
After all, we were business men, not fighters.
However, the brawl seemed to go on for a long time, though I doubt it actually lasted more than a minute.
“Stop! Guys! Cut it out!” Gavin screamed, pushing us apart and standing between us.
When the haze of anger started to clear, and I realized that I would be hitting Gavin if I didn’t stop, so I reigned myself in, pulling back.
Ben, on the other hand, must have thought that he was in an MMA match. There were veins popping out of his neck and three different guys were holding him back.
“Ben, it’s not worth it!” The one, Ben’s right hand stooge was insisting. “Don’t worry about it…”
“You’re out!” Ben screamed at me, “Get the hell out of this house! You’re no longer welcome here!”
“Good!” I screamed back, “I wouldn’t want to be associated with shit like you for any longer than I had to anyway!”
“Oh, come on, Ben…Seriously?” Gavin insisted.
“Yes, seriously! He’s a little bitch…Attacking me like that…”
“Let’s have a beer and sort this out…” Gavin suggested.
“This is far beyond a beer! I never want to see his face again!” Ben screamed, before turning his attention to me, “The next time I see your face around here, I’m gonna rearrange it, do you hear me?”
“Yeah, fuck you,” I retorted, turning my back on him and walking out of the house.
Gavin wasn’t far behind me.
“Collin!” Gavin called, running to catch up with me, “Collin, wait!”
“What? Are you here to tell me how much of a moron I was?” I spat, only turning around to face him briefly, before going back around and shaking my head, angered by his sudden insistence.
“No!” Gavin replied, hastening his step to catch up with me. “I came to tell you that are awesome. You were right to turn around and leave.”
“Well, now I’ve got to get a dorm for next semester,” I hissed, half thinking aloud and half talking to Gavin.
“Great! We can room together,” he insisted.
I stopped short, “What? You know, just because I leave doesn’t mean you have to leave too.”
“I know that,” he retorted, almost as though he was insulted, “I told you, dude. You’re right. I knew Ben was an asshole, but I never thought…” his eyes dropped down to the floor, “Damn…” He looked back up quickly, “Did you know it was him?”
I shook my head, “Flora wouldn’t tell me who it was. I don’t know if she knew that I was part of that crew or what…She just told me that she punched the guy and that was how she got away.”
Obviously upset by the conversation and what had taken place, Gavin ran his hand through his hair and looked at me with pity in his gaze, “She did, get away, didn’t she?”
I felt one half of my mouth draw up into a grin, “Yeah. She got away, thankfully. He only told me she didn’t to piss me off further.”
“What a dick,” he replied.
“Yeah, well, unfortunately, it’s not like I couldn’t see him doing something like this. He’s such an asshole, it makes sense that he thinks women owe him, or something…I don’t know.” I groaned and whipped around, back toward the house, “The thing that makes me even more angry is that he did it to me. He probably would’ve never even wanted her if I hadn’t put her on his radar. Either he was doing it to piss me off, or call dibs, or he was simply trying to prove a point, that scares me a little.”
“Well, he didn’t succeed, so that should scare him off from doing anything else again…And in my humble opinion, if you really do like this girl, you should seek her out. Obviously, she made an impression on you. Why not see where things go?”
I nodded and decided that Gavin was right. We would get our housing situation figured out and then, I would get to work finding Flora.
Chapter 5: Flora
Admittedly, I wasn’t the least bit happy to see that the man from the other night was loitering around my dorm.
While the other night was amazing, I knew that it couldn’t be repeated. I had too much riding on my own merit, reputation and self-assurance to allow myself the distraction of a boyfriend.
After thinking about what had happened the other night, over and over again, I decided that I didn’t want anyone, or anything to keep me from achieving my goals.
In my experience, the number one catalyst for women getting off track was the introduction of a boyfriend.
Distractions are abundant in relationships, and they tend to get even worse when the woman starts to think they’re in love.
Of course, one day, I wanted to have a husband and children but that wasn’t my goal for today or, likely for a very long time.
I had too much, both personally and professionally, riding on succeeding and following my dreams to worry about having an interest in love or any of that other petty stuff until after I become established.
Once I make enough money and have enough respect, it won’t matter what I do with my life. I’ll be able to live the way I want. I thought, trying to comfort myself and argue against going downstairs and talking to him.
Sure, in every aspect, Collin seemed to be a force to be reckoned with, but I was certain that a guy like Collin would make a horrible boyfriend. He would be far too busy chasing skirts to worry about settling down and getting into anything serious and besides, I didn’t have any time to have fun and waste my time.
I had a future to plan. I wasn’t interested in more than one, one-night stand. Collin had caught me in an extremely vulnerable position. Now that I had time to rationalize what had happened, I knew that what had transpired between us wasn’t anything more than desperation. I wanted something so badly that I was willing to do anything to get it. It sucked, but that was the only explanation.
Therefore, I decided that I was far too busy and focused to be worried about what had happened between us the other night and if there could be any future in it. There wasn’t. End of story.
If I was going to be involved with someone, it was going to make my life easier, better. I wasn’t going to be anyone’s booty call. I had worked too damn hard for that. I had literally gone against everything my family stood for, just to get myself to this point. I wasn’t going to throw it all away on some guy…any guy.
When I eventually found someone that I had enough interest in to put forth the effort, it was going to be for the goal of a long-term relationship and I had already convinced myself that Collin had never even contemplated maintaining a long-term relationship…ever.
Besides all of that, though, as a woman, especially in this competitive breeding ground for male testosterone that is the business world, I knew I had to garner a lot of respect for my gender and myself.
Surviving and striving in the corporate world meant that I had to focus on who I was and hold on tightly to that, or I would lose everything.
Succeeding in this industry meant that I had to keep my reputation intact. Knowing this, made me determined not to make a habit of becoming another notch on the belt of Collin, or any other man.
If that meant that I was going to focus more on my passion than my relationships, then so be it. It was better to know who I am than to have someone standing beside me.
If that’s true, my thoughts undermined me, then why the hell do you keep thinking about Collin?
“Um…I think Collin is downstairs,” Riley exclaimed as she walked inside. I glared at her and Riley focused on what she could say to make me stop giving her a death glare.
“You both can go to hell,” I hissed.
Riley was still trying to get back in my good graces after what happened the other night. Despite this, she continued to approach this conversation in the strangest way possible.
“Wow, Okay…Since you want to play it like that, I’m not one to toot my own horn or anything, but this is kinda serendipitous and it all started with me.” Riley exclaimed in a cheery way as I tried to figure out how to approach this conversation without completely ruining our friendship completely.
“Yes, Riley, I will admit that the worst night of my life was, your fault,” I retorted emotionlessly, “You should be proud of yourself.”
“What? No! I apologized for that already,” she almost begged, “I meant that Collin is here, wanting to talk to you.”
Even though I wasn’t looking at her, I could sense a hint of a smile in her voice.
“You know, this has nothing to do with you, right?”
“Bullshit!” Riley retorted, “I tell you one day that you need to have more fun in your life and later on that night, you’re rolling in the hay with some sexy frat boy. Hold your applause, please,” she added dramatically.
“Okay, okay,” I feigned admission, turning to face her in order to lure her into a false sense of security, “Maybe you do deserve a little bit of thanks for getting me up off my ass. You were the one who made me go to the party…” I paused, coaxing her to grin, before I threw the insult at her, “And if it wasn’t for you setting me up with a potential rapist, I would’ve never met him,” I hissed, “So, I guess, if I do go out with him and he ends up to be just like his psycho buddy, my rape and murder will be completely your fault!”
“What? No!” She exclaimed, narrowing her eyes in something of betrayal. Now, she seemed slightly angry as she moved toward me, “You know damn well that I would’ve never done that to you if I had known.”
&nbs
p; “You know that I know that, Riley, but it doesn’t hurt any less and you trying to pretend that everything is all honkey dory isn’t making it any easier.”
“Flora, nothing happened! You should be proud of yourself. You were able to show that asshole who’s boss. You came out of it perfectly okay, what are you so upset over?”
“I’m upset, because of what he tried to do,” I answered, feeling a sense of horror fill me. “If I hadn’t been able to hit him, God knows what would’ve happened. Are you saying that the only way I could be angry about it is if he had succeeded?”
“What? No! I’m just saying that you don’t have to blame me. I feel bad enough. I’m trying to make things better. I’m trying to get you to move on and that man out there isn’t the one who tried to hurt you. He helped you and you certainly can’t blame me for you two getting it on!”
“No, I don’t blame you for that! That was all me…and Collin, but you trying to take credit for it isn’t something that you should be proud of.” I insisted.
“Okay,” she replied, rolling her eyes, “I just want things to be good between us…and I’m trying to give you advice.”
“Things are getting there,” I admitted, “But I’m confused and nervous. I don’t want a relationship and I don’t need a couple one-night stands.”
“Well, my advice is that it will be good for you. It’ll get your feet wet, and probably some other areas as well,” she giggled with insinuation, but I didn’t play into her dirty joke. “Oh, come on!” Riley insisted when I refused to react. “Why are you already damning this poor guy? You’ve already gotten it on and it was great, so the awkward part is already over. You could have a great time.”
“Yeah, but I’m not interested in having a one-night stand ever again, with anyone, not to mention a month or two-long semblance of a relationship that should’ve been a one-night stand.”
“That’s all the more reason for you to really go all out with this one,” she replied excitedly.
“What do you mean?”
“Try to get Collin as much as he’s been trying to get you,” Riley suggested, “I’ll give you a nice dress, because I’m sure you didn’t bring one to school. Spend some time and money investing in yourself for a change.”