by Mia Ford
I leave Mandi and Jon and make my way through the throngs of people. It’s still pretty crazy to believe that all these people are here for my brother. I know that he’s popular, but this is insane. The place is full. I wonder if this is what Mom planned on when she thought about this party. She might get a shock when she gets home.
“Zane Morris, come here and talk to me.” I jump as I hear a loud voice ringing through the building, calling on my guy. “You have a lot of explaining to do. Don’t you even think about turning away from me.”
I spin rapidly around trying to locate the source of that voice, and I immediately see myself looking at the girl from the mall, the one who Zane was seeing so much that he neglected Brandon for her. I didn’t think that she was here. Learning that she is shocks me, I don’t like the way it feels. Much as I think I have a claim on him, she has more of one. They’ve had a thing for a while, a thing in public that others know about. They don’t have to be a secret like me and him would always have to be. They can be together if they want to be.
Shit. I try and pull myself together as I watch Zane slowly turn around to face the girl. I watch his face desperately, trying to find a reaction in there but he’s stoic. It’s like his face is stuck in stone.
“Sure, Rose. Whatever you want.” He lets out a deep sigh. “Do you want to go somewhere private?”
“Oh, right sure.” Rosa flings her hands onto her hips. “So, you can hide me away? No thank you. It’s time that everyone here learns just what you’re like because you are not as perfect as you seem, Zane.”
The whole world freezes as I watch this strange exchange unfold. I don’t know how I feel about it any longer. Zane doesn’t look at Rosa like he did me just a few moments ago, which only reinforces to me that I do mean something to him. A lot more than she does anyway. I just wish she hadn’t turned up to ruin things.
“I know that I’m not perfect, Rosa. I don’t think I’ve ever claimed to be. Have I?”
“Pfft.” As she snorts at him even more people turn to watch the argument. Some people’s eyes light up with glee as they see drama. Some people love a bit of excitement at the cost of other people. “You certainly do.”
“No, Rosa, I don’t.” Zane is sounding overly patient. “I don’t pretend anything. You know as well as I do what I’m like. I never promised anything like commitment to you, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”
I suck in a deep breath, realizing that he hasn’t ever promised me anything like that either. But then again, we haven’t had any real conversations. The magnetism pulled me in, both of us in, and we caved to that.
“I’m not worrying about anything,” Rosa sneers. “I’m just pissed off that you didn’t invite me to this party tonight. You can’t even pretend that you didn’t know that it was happening because Brandon is your best fucking friend.” She gestures wildly towards my brother who looks as bewildered as I feel. “You don’t want me here.”
“Then why are you here?” someone yells from the crowd. “Get the fucking hint, Rosa.”
Rosa hisses and practically spits at whoever yells that to her, looking more like a wild animal than a person. There’s a protective sense in my chest, not that Zane needs it, I want to step forwards and do something. Luckily, I don’t. my feet remain firmly planted where they are, keeping me back from the limelight.
“I am with you, Zane. There’s no denying that. Why are you trying to pretend that it’s nothing?”
Bile rises in my throat, I feel like I might puke. Of all the issues that I considered to be an issue between me and Zane, I didn’t expect cheating to be one of them. I never thought him the sort of guy who would cheat on someone that he’s with… but that simply suggests to me that Rosa really has got the wrong end of the stick.
“I got a tattoo for you, Zane. Look, a snake.” She pulls out the tattoo. While I can’t see it, I find the whole thing weird. I wouldn’t ever get a tattoo for a guy that’s just asking for trouble. “A fucking snake, Zane.”
“Right, I think it’s time to get out of here,” Brandon finally steps in. “This is getting silly.”
I don’t know if I want Rosa to go because I’m scared that Zane might leave with her, but at the same time if nothing happens to stop this, it might get really out of hand. I remain where I am, still frozen and stuck while I wait for it to end. Brandon ushers Rosa and Zane out and everyone eventually gets back to where they were as if it never happened. Well, everyone except for me. I need to learn more.
Once my limbs finally unfreeze, I glance around to check that no one is watching and I creep towards the front door. As I go, I wonder what the hell I’m doing. Realistically, this is insane because even if me and Zane do want to pursue this, it’ll be terrifying telling everyone. Brandon will kill me and him, and Mom won’t be happy either. She has this dumb ass notion that a motorcycle immediately equals being in a gang. She won’t want that for me.
But, despite all of that, I still want to know what we could be. There’s still a deep urge to be with him.
The closer I get to the door, the louder the yelling gets. I can hear it bursting through the door and it’s filled with anger and rage. From her though, Zane sounds nothing but composed. It’s almost as if this is an annoyance to him, something that he needs to get rid of… I hope that’s because he wants to get back to me.
“You’re so horrible,” I hear Rosa scream. “You don’t even care that you’ve broken my heart.”
“Rosa, I was upfront with you. I told you that I would never want anything serious. You knew that.”
“I didn’t know that at all! Just because you’ve said it, doesn’t make it real. We have a connection…”
“No, Rosa. We don’t. I’ve had an actual connection with someone before and it doesn’t feel like this.”
I clutch my hands to my chest, allowing happiness to circle me. He has to mean me with that one because I haven’t ever felt anything like that before. I know I’m not as experienced as him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand what’s going on. There’s no way that chemical bond isn’t real. It’s everything.
Finally, after a while the shouting dies down and I get the sense that Rosa is finally leaving. I think Brandon has called her a cab and he’s sending her away. Thank God! I hope that means Zane isn’t going with her.
I scoot back from the door, press my back by the wall at the bottom of the stairs, and I wait. It takes a while, by the time the door swings open again my heart is in my mouth. I can barely control myself. I feel like it might just burst out of my throat at any given moment. I see Brandon, then Zane… and he looks incredible.
Zane’s eyes are drawn towards me, it’s almost as if the magnetic force is at work again. I give him a weak smile but I feel all strange inside. I want to grab onto him, I want to hold him and beg him to be mine, but I can’t. I need to try and be patient just a little while longer. Right now, he’s with Brandon.
Right, I tell myself decisively. Get back to the party. Act normally. Just wait.
The thing is, I know that Zane is worth waiting for. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for him, ever since my hormones came into play, and now that I’ve had a little piece of the pie I can continue to wait. I just need to hold it together. I suck in a couple of deep breaths, I do what I can to get my head on straight, and I wonder back into the living room where everyone is gathered. The room is full, but still, all I can feel is him.
I make my way over to the drinks table, needing something to calm me down. I definitely don’t want a beer this time, I want something cool and non-alcoholic to sort me out. Zane and Brandon are over by the table, but it’s okay, I can just avoid them as much as possible. I’m not concerned about them…
“Hey, Leah,” Brandon calls out to me, making my eyes fall to the ground. “How’s it going?”
“Yeah, good.” My tone is strained, my whole body is tense. I have the funny feeling that mine and Brandon’s relationship will get even worse after this. “Are you en
joying yourself?”
“Oh yeah, I am. This is the best party ever.” If I’m honest, he sounds drunk but I can’t look at him. I can’t meet Zane’s eyes in front of him. “Where’s your friend?”
I could tell him the truth, but it’s my get out clause. “I’m going to find her now. You… continue to have some fun and I’ll see you later.”
“You don’t want to stay and have a drink with us? Come on, little sis, it’ll be fun.”
I shake my head and force myself to get sucked in by the crowd a little bit. “I’ll see you later on. Mandi is waiting. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
Zane might know that I’m lying, but he’ll also understand why. Surely, he knows that I can’t just act normally in front of my brother. Not after what just happened. Everything is different now. I just hope it’s different in a good way…
Chapter Ten – Zane
It takes a long time before I can get Leah alone again. Unfortunately, the party and Brandon’s need for me means I don’t get a moment alone to seek her out again. Damn Rosa ruined things for me. But she’s there all the time, I can sense her everywhere. It’s almost as if everyone else isn’t in the room at all, they’re all just noise. It’s only Leah and me. The magnets are dragging us towards one another all over again.
By the time I get Brandon rolled into bed, knowing that he’s going to have a terrible hangover in the morning, and I wander back down to survey the mess and the stragglers left behind. The house isn’t pleasant, there is mess everywhere, but nothing seems to be broken on first sight and I’ll take that as a good sign.
“Right, everyone, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here,” I call out in a determined tone of voice. “The birthday boy is in bed so unless you want to help with the clean-up then I suggest you go.”
“Aww, but it’s only two AM,” Sally moans in a dramatic fashion. “I’m not nearly done yet.”
“Well then get a bin liner and help pick up the mess.” I give her a very fake smile. “Or get out.”
“I don’t even clean up at my own parties. Can’t you just get a cleaner in or something?”
She’s so out of touch with the world. Would I be like that if I didn’t have Brandon? I would like to think not, but I’m not totally convinced. I don’t know myself if I could trust myself not to be a brat.
“No, Sally, we can’t. So, like I said, help or leave. That’s my final suggestion. Go or help.”
With a huff and a grumble under her breath, she takes her friends and she goes. I’m sure she’ll be bitching about me later, which isn’t surprising since I’m usually the one who wants the party all night long. But not today. Today I actually care about the house, and I also want to see if I can sneak one more moment alone with Leah. I haven’t seen her for a while but I don’t think she’s snuck off to be just yet. I hope not anyway.
Once everyone leaves, I grab a bin liner and I start picking up empty cups that are left all around the place. It’s almost an overwhelming amount, but I have to put a dent in it. I know Brandon’s mom might not like me, but I know that she works her ass off and I don’t want her to come back to this.
“Oh… you’re still here.” As I hear Leah’s voice, my heart leaps up into my throat. “You okay, Zane?”
I turn to look at her, smiling wildly as I see her. She’s gorgeous, even in her slightly tired, slightly just sexed look. All I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. Finally, there isn’t anyone around us, and we can just be again for a little while longer. Tonight, would have been better if it was like this all the time.
“Yeah, of course I’m still here. I wanted to see you again. Sorry about the way that things turned out.”
She waves her hand dismissively. “Oh, it’s fine. It definitely wasn’t your fault that Rosa turned up.”
“Did you hear that?” I feel bad, I know that argument didn’t paint me in the best light. “Sorry.”
“Oh no, it’s okay. I know that you aren’t to blame. Rosa seems a bit crazy. Like a stalker, or something.”
I’m not thinking about Rosa at the moment, because Leah is walking towards me and swinging her hips in a very sexy way. It’s almost as if she doesn’t even know how hot she is which makes her even more attractive. All I want to do is kiss her, hug her, and even make love to her. I don’t want to stop doing all those things with her…
Shit, what is it about Leah? Why does she have such a hold on me? She’s driving me wild again.
“Well, I’m glad we have a moment now,” she replies with a murmur. “I don’t know if I would have been able to sleep tonight had we not. I’d be lying there thinking about you all night long.”
I wrap my arms around her, feeling a sense of relief as I finally get my hands on her body. “Well, I hope you do that anyway! I like the idea of you dreaming about me all night long. That’s super sexy!”
She laughs, a lovely lilting sound that I want to get stuck in my head. “Yeah okay, I’m sure I will anyway. It won’t be the first time that I’ve laid in my bed thinking about you, Zane Morris.”
My heart clenches. It seems that while I haven’t noticed Leah before too much in that way, she has. That doesn’t scare me off, if anything it really thrills me. Everything about Leah is so exciting. She turns me on and flips me over in every single way. I don’t even know if there’s ground underneath me anymore.
I dip my head down and I crash my lips into her, loving the fireworks that explode within me. Leah’s lovely mouth feels wonderful against mine, as her body molds into mine, I wish that I could just hold her all night long. I don’t want to say goodbye to this girl, but for a while I think I need to. I don’t want to go, but we need some space just to get our heads together. She’s intoxicating and I can feel myself losing my head over her.
“Right, I suppose I better go,” I murmur sadly. “But I’ll be back in the morning to help you with hungover Brandon and the rest of the clean-up, okay? Then… we can have a talk about me and you.”
She gives me an intense look and bites down on her bottom lip before she nods. It’s scary for me to think that I might actually like this girl, and that isn’t only because she’s the one girl in the world that I can’t really have.
“Okay,” she replies softly. “I guess I’ll go to bed then, try and get some sleep before you come back.”
I give her one more chaste kiss before I drag myself away. It’s agony to pull myself backwards but I have to. It’s the sensible thing for the pair of us. After some space, we’ll know a whole lot better.
I hop onto my bike outside, glad that I didn’t drink tonight, and I whiz my way home. There’s a giant smile on my face that I don’t think anything will be able to wipe off. The world is at my feet…
The only thing that makes me hesitate is when I pull up to the house and I see all the lights on. At this time of night, my parents are usually in bed so there must be something going on here. My heart skips in my chest as terror claims me. My brain races as I try to work out what terrible thing has happened. When I can’t immediately come up with anything, I race inside, trying to swallow down the panic that’s balled up in my throat.
“Son,” comes my father’s booming voice almost right away. “You’re finally here.”
“What happened?” I demand back, looking at him with wild eyed fear. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. We have simply been waiting for you to come home. We have to discuss things with you,”
“Where is Mom?”
“She’s asleep. She couldn’t wait up for you any longer since it’s been all damn night.”
“It was Brandon’s birthday party, that’s where I’ve been all the time.”
“Yes, your friend’s birthday.” Dad nods as if he understands. I’m sure he hasn’t ever had any real friends, just idiot business associates like himself. “And it was also your last day at school on Friday, wasn’t it?”
“Well, yeah, aside from the exams, I suppose.” I narrow my
eyes at him, confused. “Why?”
“Because it’s time to go.” All of a sudden, I notice items piled up behind him. Bags and bags of stuff that’s probably mine. “The car has been waiting for you outside for hours. It’s time to leave for college.”
“What?” I snap back. “But I haven’t had summer yet. I haven’t sat my exams, it’s ages yet…”
“You don’t need to sit your exams. You’re going to have a foundation course to deal with so no exams matter, there isn’t any point in you wasting your time. And that course starts with a summer school, so you can’t waste all your time bumming around with your sad friends. It’s time for you to be productive.”
So many things flood my mind, I don’t know what to do about any of this. If I leave now, I lose everything… most of all, Leah. I want to get back to her, to tell her how I feel, to spend a long and lazy summer with her. But now my father has a car outside waiting to take me away and I know what that means. That means I’m stuck.
“No, Dad, I don’t want this. I haven’t even talked to you properly about it yet.” I run my hands through my hair as stress catches up with me. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t have any desire for this. I just…” I groan hopelessly as I feel my future slipping away from me. “Dad, I just need some more time. Give me time.”
“No, son, there is no time. This course starts now. You have to go.” His face glowers and I start to feel a little afraid. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone turn him down before and I don’t know if that’ll change him. “You are leaving, you are getting in that car, and you are going to college. You need to grow up.”
I could run, that’s the one thing that keeps coming through my mind. I could run away from here and never come back, but where will that leave me, honestly? How will that help me? I have nothing of my own, I don’t have any money or possessions, only my bike. How far would I get? And in a way, I can’t stop thinking that as much as I don’t want it, it might be an opportunity that I risk not taking later on. I don’t have to be gone for years anyway, I can come back and visit Leah if I feel strongly enough once I’ve gotten some distance. Maybe it’s better if we do things this way anyway. I don’t know what I’m ready for and I don’t want to make a big mess of things by pushing things too quickly.