Desire_A Romance Collection

by Mia Ford

  “Good morning.” Right away I spot Evan sitting at the dining table. Unlike me, who’s enjoying the new found lie ins in the morning, Evan cannot get out of the habit of being an early bird.

  “Morning,” he replies with a smile. “How are you doing? You look a lot better this morning.”

  “I know, I feel it too,” I admit as I take the seat opposite him. “In fact, I’m a lot better now, I probably should think about heading back to my apartment soon. I don’t want to outstay my welcome.”

  If I’m totally honest with myself then I don’t ever want to leave. It isn’t just the house and the luxuries within it that I like, although the large soft bed is incredible, it’s like sleeping on a cloud, I’m just happy spending so much time with Evan and Liam. They’re an awesome pair who light up my days in a way that I didn’t know I needed. I love Liam’s laughter and his thirst for knowledge, plus the way he makes everything so much fun. He’s an adorable boy who I’m going to miss once I leave. And Evan too. I know we’re moving at a crazy quick speed but I really do love him. I just know and that’s enough for me… but I don’t want to push things too rapidly so he gets bored of me. I don’t know if some space will be good for us, Evan might need it. He might want it but he just hasn’t asked for it.

  But then his face falls and I start to think that maybe the opposite is true. “You’re going?”

  “Well, I don’t know.” I shrug regretfully. My cheeks flame brightly as I talk because of my discomfort. “I suppose I have to eventually, right? I can’t just stay here forever. You invited me to stay until I’m better and now I am… I guess I just don’t want to become a problem.”

  “You aren’t a problem,” Evan shoots back in a hard voice. “Not at all. Me and Liam love having you around. It’s like a real home when you’re in it.”

  His words coil around my heart and squeeze. I didn’t used to have any respect for my apartment at all, I didn’t care about it because it wasn’t a home to me. It was just a place I came to sleep and occasionally eat take out in between work shifts which I thought was fine because I was a successful career woman who was going somewhere. Now, I know that there’s much more to life than that and it makes me yearn for a home. I wouldn’t need any fancy things or luxuries within it, that isn’t what makes a home to me, it’s the family inside of the walls. The people who love me.

  Thinking about having that one day makes my eyes fill with tears. I can’t help myself, I’m on the brink of weeping like a big baby already. “Sorry,” I stutter sadly. “I don’t want to upset anyone…”

  “Oh no. Evan reaches across the table to hold my arm. “I don’t want to upset you, if you need to go home, you go. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to leave either. Me and Liam love having you here and neither of us are in any rush for you to go, so if you want to remain then please do so.”

  His eyes are so filled with warmth and love, all I want to do is tumble into them. I just don’t want this moment to be a mistake, something that I look back on later with regret. I don’t want to think ‘oh if I hadn’t stayed and put too much pressure on us, then maybe we would still be together now’. I’m scared, and I think it’s my lack of experience in relationships, and in particular love, that’s holding me back. I want this, my heart wants this so damn badly, but my head is telling me to just be careful.

  “You aren’t going!” Liam’s voice suddenly bursts through the moment, making me jump. “No, Katy, you can’t go! Me and Daddy love you here.”

  He races to my side and flings his arms around me, effectively making my decision for me. I can’t exactly turn my back on a weeping child now, can I? I can’t break his heart further. He’s already lost so much in his life, I don’t want to take myself away from him too. Yes, I could still come back and visit but I know it won’t be the same. Especially not to him.

  I guess I’m just looking for an excuse to remain as well, if I’m totally honest with myself. I don’t want to go when I’m having such a good time. Maybe for other people this would be too quick, but me and Evan have suffered through a lot of hard situations and we’ve come out of it stronger. It feels right for us at the moment and that’s all that matters. I’ll just have to ensure this isn’t something that goes wrong. If I’m conscious of it, then I don’t think it’ll become a moment that I regret.

  “Okay, okay,” I laugh. “I won’t go yet, but I might have to at some point, okay?”

  “Not today,” he insists, gushing into my arm pit. “Just don’t go today. I want you to stay.”

  “Let’s go out for the day,” Evan says as he stands up. “I think we could all use a day out, couldn’t we? Go and do something fun in the city. We’ve all been cooped up for far too long now.”

  “Can we go bowling?” Liam asks as he bounces up and down, all his upset long forgotten “And to see a movie? I want to see the new superhero one. I’ve wanted to see it for ages.”

  He looks at me with such expectant eyes that I join in too. “Yes, we have to go and see that movie. It’s supposed to be amazing. Really funny. Oscar winning, even,” I tease. “The best yet.”

  “Are you talking about the one where the characters are made out of blocks?” Evan asks, clearly not getting the appeal. “Are you serious? You can’t honestly want to go and see that you made that pair.”

  Maybe it wouldn’t be my first choice of movie either, but I’m more than happy to do whatever Liam wants. Evan is right, it’ll be fun to get out the house whatever we do or see. I’m easy to go along with absolutely anything. “Of course, we do,” I say loudly. “You’ll love it when you see it, honest!”

  “You will, Dad, you will,” Liam joins in while tugging his arm. “Get dressed so we can go.”

  And with that, it seems that we’re about to have our very first family day out. It isn’t a position that I ever thought I would find myself in, but that’s okay. Maybe life is about all these unexpected twists and turns that shake things up. I’m certainly not complaining!

  ***

  The movie theater is empty, aside from me, Liam, and Evan, which actually makes it a lot better. Liam sits in the seats in front of us, spreading himself across them and leaping around like a mad man whenever there’s any action on screen, and I can snuggle into Evan. Okay, so the movie might not be a romantic one, but the situation surrounding us certainly is, and I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper with every passing second.

  “Thank you for this,” Evan whispers into my ear. “This means a lot to Liam.”

  “You know, I think you assume I do these things just because I feel like I should, but that isn’t the case at all. I want to spend time doing the things Liam likes, I really enjoy myself with him.” I watch him bound through the room as he pretends to fly. I let out a little laugh as he thoroughly enjoys himself. I want to do this more often. “He’s a great kid and I have a good time with him.”

  Evan grabs my chin with his fingers and he turns me to face him. “That’s what I love about you, you know?” He brushes his lips against mine gently. “You know, ever since Victoria died I haven’t ever even thought about bringing another woman into his life. She died when he was only a baby so he doesn’t remember her, but I didn’t want someone coming in and either resenting him or trying to replace that mother figure for him which I just know would make me uncomfortable, but you haven’t done any of those things. Without even trying you have just become a friend to him, which is amazing. I didn’t even know that it was possible.”

  I’m blown away by his words, they’re much too sweet. “Oh wow,” I reply thickly. “That’s really something. I mean I haven’t tried to be anything to Liam, I guess we just click and we get on. I know it must be hard for him not having a mom, and I guess that will get worse when he gets older, but I wouldn’t ever want to be that to him. Just his friend, you know?”

  “And that is why you are so perfect.”

  As Evan kisses me again, I wonder what I did to g
et so lucky in life. I really do still feel that way, even now. I’m jobless, I’ve lost out on being partner, I’ve lost Grant which is something that I thought would crush me, but I’m doing incredibly well. All I had to do was take a step back from the hectic career that consumed me wholly and I’ve been given something so much better.

  I’m so glad that Evan and Liam didn’t want me to go. If they had I would be sad at home now working myself up into a state of panic about everything. I’d be freaking out about my lack of career, all my confidence about being able to start up a business of my own would be gone, and I would also be panicked about where my relationship stood… instead I’m having a calm and relaxing day, one that’s filled with promise, and I love this version of myself.

  “Hey, do you think you can get a babysitter one night?” I ask Evan in the spur of the moment. “I would love you to come and meet my friend at some point.”

  “Uh oh, will this be the Spanish Inquisition?” I laugh and nod, with Robyn he might be right about that one. “Okay, fair enough. I don’t see why not. It actually might be fun.”

  Chapter Twenty Seven – Evan

  It’s been a very long time since I’ve been inside a bar for fun. For work, yes, for business meetings and smoozing, but not just to have a good time. It actually feels a little strange, I don’t know why but I feel a bit out of place. It’s not that I thought I was missing out on a lot by not being out every single night, but now I know for sure that I haven’t been. Being at home with my boy is a much happier place, being with my family in the warmth of my life makes me much happier than this ever could.

  ‘How is everything?’ I text anxiously to Nancy. She was so keen when I asked her to babysit again, I think she assumed all my new life changes were down to her and the accident. I tried to explain that it was something I’d been planning anyway, but I’m not sure she believed me.

  ‘All fine, Liam is tucked up in bed,’ she reassures me, which makes me breathe a sigh of relief. I know that I can’t control every aspect of Liam’s life, that will only make him pull away as he gets older, but it’s still hard for me to think of him anywhere except for safe at home. He hasn’t been in a car since, but I’m going to have to let him eventually. I need to find a way to let go of my insecurities.

  ‘Great, thanks. See you soon! We won’t be late, I promise.’

  After I send that final message I tuck my phone away and refocus on the friends that Katy wanted me to meet. There’s Robyn, who from what I understand is Katy’s best friend, the woman who has always been there for her, and her boyfriend Jon. Then there are some other people, but I haven’t been given the chance to learn their names yet because they’re too busy dancing, mingling with other people, and standing at the bar. I don’t think they’re too important to Katy anyway, so I’m not bothered about them. I think she lost a lot of her friends when she dedicated something to her work, which is something I can strongly relate to, so the only people that matter are the ones who stayed.

  “You seem very good for Katy,” Robyn tells me quietly as her friend heads to the bathroom. “I’ve seen a real change in her since she met you. She’s much happier and more vibrant.”

  I nod happily, knowing what Robyn means. This Katy is nothing like the woman I first met. That Katy was confident in her work, but nothing else. The person we see now seems to understand that she’s actually an important person, which is wonderful. She needs that.

  “Well she’s changed me for the better too,” I confide in Robyn. “Before I met Katy I was always very private and closed off. I didn’t know how to open up to anyone about anything. I certainly wasn’t in the right place for a relationship… but then she came along and I just wanted to be better for her. I wanted her to see me in a way that others don’t. She cast a spell over me.”

  As Robyn smiles at me, I can see approval there. “Well good, I’m glad. Does that mean I don’t have to give you the standard warning about losing your balls if you hurt my friend?”

  “You definitely don’t.” I shake my head rapidly. “I have no intention of ever hurting her.” I pause and bite down on my bottom lip, wondering if this is something I should say. “I love her, you know?” Yes, I decide to just go for it. Katy knows how strong my feelings are, so why shouldn’t her friend? “I really do and I’ll do anything to keep her around.”

  “Good.” Robyn pats me on the back. “Well, it looks like you’ve passed the test and I haven’t even really started it yet. Usually when my friends bring around new boyfriends I have a list of questions about their past that I grill them about, and I always thought that when it was Katy I’d be even worse because she needs so much protecting… but with you I don’t think I need to. I feel like you have my friend’s best interests at heart. I feel like you really do care about her.”

  I don’t know if this means that Robyn already knows about me losing Victoria or not, but I don’t push it. I don’t want to ruin tonight by talking about all of that anyway. That’s in the past now. It isn’t something that I’ll ever forget, but I don’t want to only exist in that moment either. I want to move forward with the bright new future that I can have with Katy.

  “I do, I really do. You don’t have to worry about Katy with me. I can promise you that she’s in good hands. All I want to do is spend every single day making her happy.”

  “God, happiness, I don’t think that’s something she’s used to since she’s given so much of herself to that hell hole, so I really hope you can do it.”

  At that moment, my cell phone starts ringing in my pocket. It must be Nancy, I’m sure she’s the only person who would call me this late at night which means I need to take the call instantly. Even knowing that Liam is safely tucked up in bed isn’t enough, my panicked brain starts concocting the most horrific images that I can barely deal with.

  “I just have to take this,” I tell Robyn regretfully. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

  I run from the bar and suck in a couple of deep, cold breaths once I get outside. It’s only when I actually look at the screen of my phone and I see that it’s Barry’s name written across it, that I begin to calm down just a little bit. Of course, it’s Barry, my accountant has no idea of time. He needs to get a life outside of work, honestly!

  “Hello, Barry,” I answer wryly. “Is everything okay?”

  As soon as he starts talking I can hear an edge to his voice which gets my back up. I don’t know what this is going to be about but I immediately start panicking. “Evan, sorry for ringing you at this time, I just thought you might like to know right away…” The pause is agonizing, it makes me want to scream. “The investor you met with on Friday is very interested in you and your new, restructured business. He wants to be a part of the company.”

  “Oh my God.” I reel as I realize what this means. I’m saved, really saved. Now, I can pay back the banks, get out of debt and have some money to move forward with… but in the right way. With Archie’s help now the company is much smaller and more stream lined. Everything is working out even better than I’d hoped. “Barry, that’s incredible news. Thank you for ringing me and letting me know. That’s just…” I rub my forehead in shock. “That’s wonderful.”

  “Yes, well you can thank your lawyer friend for that. Also, you might want to consult with her again to get all the paper work drawn up quickly. You’ll want to move fast with this one.”

  I glance towards the door of the bar, glad that I can tell her right away. Barry doesn’t know that me and Katy are involved, and he doesn’t have to. He isn’t actually someone that I see on a regular basis, we just talk a lot. He probably wouldn’t be happy about it, but I don’t care because I have everything that I’ve ever wanted and more.

  “Yes, I will speak to her about it. Thank you, Barry. Keep me updated.”

  As I hang up the phone I do a little fist bump in the air. It wasn’t that long ago that I knew the company was going to be put up for auction. I was going to lose control of the one thing that my father left f
or me. But now I have even more control than before… just control from a distance which suits me better. This is the next thing that I needed to get all the worries off my chest. I just know that I can make things profitable again, and I can’t wait to get started.

  I push the door of the bar open, embracing the warmth as it circles me. Now I actually want a drink, I need it to celebrate, and I’m going to buy all of Katy’s friends one too. This is a moment that I want to commit to memory, and while I might not know these people I want them all the join in with me. If only for this second.

  “Is everything alright?” Katy gushes, while grabbing onto me. As I turn to face her I see intense fear in her gaze. It seems that her brain has gone to exactly the same place as mine, which her words confirm. “Robyn said you raced out to answer the phone. It isn’t anything to do with Liam is it?”

  “No, not Liam.” I pull her close to me and kiss her. “The business actually. That was Barry, my accountant on the phone. He was just ringing to tell me that one of the investors that I met with last week is really interested, so effectively the business is saved because of you.”

  As she blushes I kiss her again. I press my lips hard into hers and allow all the love to flow from me. Her plump mouth is all wet and warm which sparks up an intense fire in my belly, but that’s one I won’t be able to satisfy for now. I’ll have to hold myself back until we get home later on.

  “There’s something else that I want to speak to you about,” I tell her quietly. This isn’t the way that I ideally wanted to have this conversation, I would much prefer to do it in a much more romantic way, but for some strange reason, this just feels right. “I want to know if you will move in with me properly? I’ve spoken to Liam about it, and we both want you to live with us properly.”