by Lucia Ashta
Full steam ahead.
My brain was barely working anymore, unable to do much more than visit clichés.
Fully dressed still and with his sword and knives attached to his waist, he pressed his dick against my stomach. I reacted to his tantalizing erection with near desperation. In that instant, all I could focus on was how to get him inside me the fastest.
Suddenly, we were a tangle of desperate limbs and movements, wanting more, needing more, right this second.
His lips never left mine while he unfastened the belt which held his weapons to him. Even in his frenzy to give me what I wanted, he tossed his swords and knives delicately to the side. They were important to him. He relied on them to keep him alive, and so he treated them with respect.
But they weren’t as important to him as I was.
With deft fingers, he unclasped my knives from the several locations I’d fastened them to my body. He was fast about it, faster than I’d be, since it was the first time in my entire life that I’d had to deal with the removal of weaponry before I could have the man I wanted inside me.
Once he unfastened the sheaths from my arms and thighs, he tossed them, too, with care.
But those were the last moments of care with the obstacles that prevented us from coming together. He nearly tore my clothing from me, yanking and pulling with force until the various articles of clothing bent to his will, just as I was desperate to do.
When I finally stood fully naked before him, he seemed to force himself to slow down, to be present, to take me in entirely. He stepped back from me, and even though he was still completely dressed, sans weapons, I missed his body instantly. I took a step toward him.
“No,” he said softly. “Let me look at you. I’ve missed… all of you… so much.”
I’d never been one to be self-conscious about my body, and I had no reason to begin to be so. I stood bare before him, aware that more than my body was exposed.
“My god, Ilara, you’re perfect. Beautiful. You’re…”
He didn’t complete his thought, but I could imagine it. His eyes were momentarily glazed over and, seemingly without realizing it, he moved a hand to his erection. He grabbed it and held on. I could see how substantial it was even beneath fitted, mutable pants and his tunic, which pitched outward with the force of his desire.
He looked me over, from top to bottom, several times, until he couldn’t take it anymore. His leather-looking jacket and tunic came off in a rough tangle; he threw them aside without looking. He removed his boots and pants faster than any man alive, he surely set a record.
When his dick sprang free and proud, he closed the distance between us with two long, sure strides. He whisked me into his arms, set me upon the mattress gently, and positioned himself above me, propping himself up on his forearms. His biceps bulged but his gaze was soft. His green eyes were already well on the way to consuming me.
While I stared into his eyes, tumbling into the windows to the soul, everything about him bare to me then, far beyond his naked skin that seemed to pulse, alive, against me, I spread my legs. I was as ready for him as I’d ever been for any man in my life. My desire for him crested so there could be no doubt that I wanted him as much as his pulsing hard-on made it obvious he wanted me.
He brought his face to mine and kissed me. Even though I parted my lips for him, my tongue ready to entwine in the already-familiar dance with his, his kiss was tender, more tender than anything he’d done to me yet.
With his green eyes pinned on mine, and his breath of life releasing hotly onto my tongue, he lowered down between my thighs. A breath shivered through me as I arched up into him, wanting him already, unwilling to wait a second longer.
He gave me what I wanted. He slipped inside me, drawing a gasp from me that contained more than my words could express.
Even before he began to move against me, I’d given myself to him entirely.
Like the treasure that it was, he embraced it, and returned in kind all that I gave him.
Time vanished as the illusion it was. Beneath the magical and eerie glow of a purple moon, I pressed my body against his as he filled mine. I forgot all of who I thought I was and who I suspected I might me.
I was as much within him as he was within me. I finally understood what it meant that the flesh and spirit of two could become one.
THIRTY-ONE
THE PLUNE MOON vanished beneath the horizon, leaving Tanus and me in complete darkness within the thin walls of the hut, precisely at the moment when he and I found release together. When the frenzied expression of our bodies reached its climax and we could no longer contain all the ecstasy that wanted to break free to roll in warm, wet waves through our bodies, the village was utterly quiet and still and dark. All the things we weren’t.
I arched my back, my breasts reaching for Tanus. I clung to his back as I rode the waves of overwhelm. He grunted and trembled as he exploded inside me. It was pitch black but for the light we shared between us. Even though my eyes remained closed, since it was too dark to see with them anyway, I felt like I could see more than I’d perhaps ever seen before.
Something in me had awakened, beneath the witching purple moon.
And after the period of darkness passed, the one that represented the in-between moments of life on O, Tanus and I still clung to each other, as if now we could never let go. He lay next to me, an arm under my shoulders, nestling me close. I rested my head in the depression between his shoulder and chest and wrapped a leg across his thigh. It was as if we’d been like this forever, and a part of me believed we had. Doubt had no part in this role I was playing.
We lay like this, saturated, sated, at peace with each other. Not needing to know what the future would bring because moments as rich as these were enough. I could skip from one of them to the next and not care what lay in between them. Patches of lava and chomping gators might reach for us in between each leap, but it wouldn’t matter. Because this was our salvation. For hearts like ours that had disbelieved in love for so long, this was all the medicine we needed, reason sufficient to get us through all the rest of it.
When the orange fireball of the Auxle Sun kept its appointment and slid above the horizon to replace the Plune Moon, Tanus began to stir. When the sun exploded in colors so brilliant that they managed to filter their suggestions even through the walls of the hut, he kissed my forehead. And when he whispered, “I love you, Ilara,” with more tenderness than I’d ever imagined those four words could contain, I knew it was true.
“I love you, Tanus,” I said, realizing that I’d finally discovered my true heart. Every word I spoke then was also true. The tough protective shell around my heart had cracked—nay, shattered—to reveal the pulpy mess beneath that, despite all odds, could contain enough love to last several lifetimes. With the love I felt coursing through me now, I no longer cared about what planet I was on, as long as I was on it with this man.
As if we were already one again, Tanus and I turned our faces to each other in the same moment. His lips met mine, this time all tenderness. The frenzied passion and physical need were temporarily absent. Slowly, taking his time, Tanus’ hands began to explore my body again. This time, it was different. These were the caresses of the long-lost lover who’d lived a miracle to have me returned to him.
After the hues of the sky underwent multiple transformations, Tanus was satisfied—for the time being—that he’d caressed me all he wanted. Now he wanted something else. His kisses deepened and he pulled me onto my side, flat against him, my breasts splayed against his strong chest. Bare flesh against skin that was beginning, again, to quiver with longing.
Our tongues met. Synchronized, I lifted my leg and he wrapped it across his hip. Like an unerring arrow, he found his way inside me before I could next draw breath. If I had, he would have knocked it out of me.
As we began to move together, with eyes and ears and taste only for each other, we took our time, having found it again. Only now, we discovered that for true lov
ers, time was eternal. It revealed yet another facet of its illusion.
We lost ourselves, and we found each other. Over and again. We came to the edge of bliss only to retreat from it, to build up again, to savor every possible pleasure.
And all the while I stared into his vivid green eyes, and he explored the cosmos within mine.
There was no greater show in all the universe than what I experienced coming to fruition, like the build-up to the Big Bang, inside me. I imagined my cosmic eyes took Tanus on the journey with me.
We passed the point of no return, wishing never to see it again.
THIRTY-TWO
AT SOME POINT WE SLEPT, entwined together as one, a cocoon preparing to birth something rare and special. I’d never before been a good sleeper, too energized to shut down my senses for long, but that night—bizarrely illuminated by a burnt, orange sun—I slept with all the peace of the dead.
When Tanus slipped from my side and brushed one solitary kiss upon my slack brow, I felt his absence even in sleep. But not enough to rouse me from the sleep of the dead. Not enough for me to register whatever words he whispered. Not enough to look toward the hut’s entrance as he ducked through it.
I turned onto my side and curled into a ball trying to compensate for the thing I’d only just gained and already missed.
When Tanus finally returned to wake me, I was hard to rouse. But when I did, I smiled at the man I loved with the drunken enthusiasm of a newbie. I was high on the elixir of love.
He insisted on dressing me. I allowed him to enjoy the ritual of it, following each of his purposeful movements with the cosmos in my eyes. When he strapped on my boots and helped me to stand, I went straight into his arms. There, he embraced me, lending me the strength not only of muscles trained since childhood, but the strength of his loving heart.
When I didn’t pull away and it seemed I never would, he pushed me back with the gentleness of someone who didn’t really feel like doing what needed to be done. His smile was as love-drunk as mine. It reached the corners of his eyes, seeming to illuminate the green of his irises from within.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“Hmmm. Go where?” I could feel the goofiness of my smile and the joy that came with knowing I didn’t care.
“To leave the village, take the Royal Guard from here, and go deal with the results of your resurrection.” He smiled at me again, but this time I found a bit less of the joy in it that I had just moments before.
I had no desire to deal with the reality of my life when it was so exquisite to ignore it.
“You know we have to go, right?” he said, the love in his eyes showing me how little he wanted to leave as well.
I buried my face in his chest, now covered and removed from the skin of my cheek. His weapons, cold and hard, hung at his waist, bringing the stark reality of my life on O crashing down on me. “Ugh. I don’t wanna.”
He chuckled, and I felt it rumble through his chest cavity, a reassuring sensation.
“Since when do you shy away from what needs to be done? You always told me we couldn’t just hole up together, making love all day and night, and ignore the responsibilities you have toward the people of O. Even though I wanted to.”
Had I said that? That didn’t sound like me. I loved ignoring reality. I was good at it. It was my thing. Why would I want to go out into the big bad world of O to face unknown consequences when I could remain hidden away making love to this delicious man? “I’m happy to stay here with you forever. I don’t care about anything else.”
He looked at me quizzically. “Really? You would be willing to hide away somewhere with me?”
“For sure.”
“Not caring about what happened to your people while we did?”
I hesitated. Did I really care about the people of O? I didn’t know. It was an abstract idea. There were probably a lot of people on this planet. I wouldn’t personally meet most of them. I didn’t know if I felt an obligation to protect them or not. But then, I had made the rash decision to reveal who I was and that I lived solely to keep these tribespeople from being mistreated. So I supposed I did care, and I’d probably start caring even more once I started getting used to this place.
My shoulders slumped, and I tried to bury my head back in Tanus’ chest, delaying what now appeared to be inevitable.
But he held me far enough away that he could study my eyes. It seemed he and I were well matched in this, as I always needed to look into someone’s eyes to understand them.
I sighed again, this time resigned. “So where are we going?”
He breathed out frustration and stepped away from me to run his hand through his hair. Obviously, it’s what he did when he felt cornered, with no good choices. “Dolpheus and I have been discussing this for a while. There are no really good options. The logical thought would be to return you to the Royal Palace so that there you may make your survival publicly known and the King’s guards, the good ones, the ones that actually look like they could keep you safe, could protect you.”
“Okaaay,” I hedged, waiting for the rest of it.
“But the palace isn’t really safe. Assassins have infiltrated its security twice already, that we know of, and there may be more breaches we don’t know about. Your father’s never been one to reveal his weaknesses unless his hand is forced. There’s clearly some kind of bird, if not several, within the king’s trusted circle.”
“Bird?”
He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Yes, a bird. That sings of secrets upon the wind.”
Oh, a rat. A mole. The traitors had a much sweeter name on O than on Earth.
He continued, “With your father still, we think, unwaking, the risk is too great. Especially…” He hesitated.
“What is it?”
“Well, especially since the King is the way he is. With you. You know.”
No, I didn’t know. Not one bit. “And how exactly is he with me?” For a second my insides clenched unpleasantly. I hoped I wasn’t some abused princess or something. That would bite. I knew from experience on Earth, some of the most put-together-seeming families hid dark and hideous secrets.
Tanus released another sigh, this one heavy with resignation. He was like a sighing machine. It didn’t bode well. “When you were gone, and I was desperate to find you, I did a mind merge with the King.”
He waited, as if it were important that this one fact sink in, but I had no idea what it meant. I nodded to encourage him to continue, and he did, though his look became even more perplexed at my apparently increasingly alarming lack of memory.
“Well, when the King kind of double-backed on his agreement,” he said then quickly added, “as is a king’s prerogative, I ended up going into his memories, thanks to Lila being able to do this… process… that we weren’t aware was possible.”
Great. My father was a sleazeball who didn’t keep his word. “And why did he double-back on his agreement?”
“You know your father.” He gave a sad smile. “He figured he could get something more from me before giving me what I wanted, even though all I wanted was to help you. He saw enough in the mind merge to figure out he could trust me with your safety. But he also saw the way to get me to give him whatever he wanted. Once he saw that I loved you, he realized I’d do anything to get you back. So he tried to trade information on my father’s, or, er, Lord Brachius’ splicing facility for information on your whereabouts.”
“I see,” I said tersely. Things just kept getting better. My father on Earth might be a mere auto plant manager, but he was a good guy, a man of his word, one that people regularly trusted with responsibilities he didn’t even want. This “king” didn’t sound too hot. “And so how is he with me? Exactly? What did you mean by that?”
Tanus turned and wouldn’t meet my eyes while he answered. A bad sign. The walls of the meager hut shrunk in on me and I brought a hand to my gut, preparing for the worst.
“While I was in the King’s memories—which was awf
ul, by the way, torturous, totally torturous, I thought I’d never find my way out—I saw a lot of things I hadn’t known about. Like how the King used you as a sort of spy for him, making you seduce men and women to pry their secrets from them and then report to him.”
“Really?” My voice was so faint, even laced with disgust as it was, that I wasn’t sure Tanus would hear it.
But he did, and he turned to look at me again. When he studied my face, he pulled me into a tight embrace meant to help me feel safe, no doubt. I couldn’t tell if it worked or not. My mind was spinning. All peace from earlier gone, like a startled finch.
He spoke to the crown of my head, his breath tickling the nearly black hair that covered it. “I was upset at first, when I saw that the King sent you to seduce me.” His Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped. “And to seduce Dolpheus. It was awful, so awful, when I had to watch you and Dolpheus having sex, knowing both of you had kept that secret from me all this time. Realizing that you only seduced me because your father ordered you to.”
Now the snippets of conversation I overheard from Tanus’ settee when I first arrived on O and everything swirled nonsensically about me began to coalesce. This was how Dolpheus and I had betrayed him. And shit, it was a big and nasty betrayal.
I didn’t dare move my head from the crook of his neck and shoulder. I couldn’t meet his eyes right now. I froze, the breath laboring through me, as I waited, nonsensically, to discover whether Tanus would discard me for my betrayal. Even though I couldn’t remember doing it, and even though the hours we’d shared together proved he loved me despite my many apparent failings.
He pulled me closer to him, his arms wrapping around me like a vice. His unspoken message was clear. I wouldn’t lose him, the man I’d only just found, over this.
“I won’t lie. I felt stabbed in the back at first. By both of you. I felt like you’d cleaved my heart in two. But I’ve had the chance to reflect and see that you were as much a pawn in your father’s games as I’ve been. To realize that you and Dolpheus never loved each other the way we do.”