Watch You Burn

by Amanda Searcy

  I get dressed. I’ve seen Psycho one too many times to risk taking a shower. I’m wearing black jeans and a soft gray sweater. It’s much too warm for the sunny spring day, but I was wearing it when I came from Ohio. I’m going back in it.

  I smooth the duvet and put all the pillows on the bed. I arrange the donation bags against the wardrobe so that Dad can take them later. I pile my suitcases by the door. As soon as the ribbon has been cut and everyone’s eaten cake, I’m out of here.

  I step outside. A stage has been set up. A huge red ribbon stretches from one side to the other. In front of it, the parking lot is being filled with white folding chairs. A few people have already arrived. Mike Vargas shakes hands and slaps backs. Next to him, dressed in a suit, but unsmiling and looking like walking death, is Cam.

  My heart speeds up. Why isn’t he in jail? I stumble into the office. Monica, looking even more coiffed and well-dressed than usual, is leaning against the counter.

  “Why is Cam here?” I demand.

  “The police let him go. Too many coincidences, not enough real evidence.”

  “When?”

  “When what?”

  I start sucking in little gasps of air, trying to stay upright. “When did they let him go?”

  “Sometime last night, I think.” She examines me. “What’s going on with you?”

  Cam was still in jail when I got the notes. I take one big breath, and I try to keep the world in focus. “Nothing. I’m just excited to be going home.”

  And worrying about my sanity. Are the notes even real?

  Monica raises an eyebrow. I leave before she can ask anything else.

  My leg jiggles while I’m in the white folding chair. Mike’s speech is going on forever. Monica, sitting on the stage, narrows her eyes at me. I put a hand on my leg to calm it.

  Dad is sitting next to her, beaming. On the other side of him are assorted city officials. Cam is on the far end.

  I hear the guests behind me shifting in their chairs. Coughing. We’re all thinking the same thing: Cut the damn ribbon already. They’re waiting for the elaborate cake to be rolled out, cut, and passed around. I’m waiting to throw my suitcases in the truck. I don’t care if I have to wait four or five hours at the airport. I want to go now.

  I glance around. My leg starts to jiggle again. The TV cameras are here. I keep expecting someone to stand up, point to me, and tell the world everything.

  In what used to be the falling-down section—the section where I first met Ro—motion catches my attention.

  The rooms are all unlocked to let the guests ooh and aah over each one. The outline of a person appears in the front window. The glare keeps me from seeing more than what looks like dark hair.

  It disappears. Like a ghost. I’m starting to believe in them.

  I keep my eyes on the window, but whoever—whatever—it was never comes back.

  Finally, everyone on the stage lines up. Mike Vargas and a city councillor hold a pair of comically big scissors up for the camera. They snip the ribbon as a hundred flashes go off. The construction crew, hanging out in the back, cheers. The invited guests clap.

  As everyone mills around waiting for the cake, I slip away. I’m going to load the truck now and sit in the cab until Dad is ready to drive me to the airport.

  I open the door to my room and pop the handle of my big suitcase so I can roll it. I don’t want to look at the bed.

  I already know what’s there.

  And it’s very real.

  I only touch it because I can’t have Dad or Monica or Mike Vargas finding the last piece when I’m gone.

  The note says You were afraid of you.

  It’s not alone. Also on the bed is a phone. It has a sticky note on it that says Watch me.

  With trembling fingers, I swipe it on. The video is already up on the screen. I recognize it. A figure wearing a pink hat with two black felt circles is crouched down between two cottonwoods. The video zooms in on the figure’s hands. A silver lighter hovers over a stack of kindling. The lighter touches it. A small flame starts to burn. The figure tends to it until the surrounding brush catches.

  Then the figure turns toward the camera, and the video freezes.

  Every detail of my face is clear and sharp and unmistakable.

  There’s another video. I press play. The shaky camera walks up to a formation of rocks and lifts a tarp. Under it is Ben’s silver lighter, Hailey’s hat, the belt from my dress, and a shovel with the green Breland Construction logo on it.

  A voice speaks dramatically. “You better run. The police are already on their way.”

  I rip open the curtains. The couple of police officers who were hanging around the ceremony in case of protestors are speaking into their radios. Another police car zooms by with its lights flashing.

  I run.

  Too much adrenaline flows through me to feel any pain when I go headfirst onto the ground outside the bathroom window. I dash around the edge of the property, sticking to the shadows until the cottonwoods come into view.

  As I race through the brush and around the stumps of fallen trees, I don’t trip. I know this route by heart. I’ve done it many times in the dark.

  And I know exactly where the video of the hidden stuff was taken. It’s in the one section that I made sure didn’t burn. The trees are untouched. Their new green leaves tinkle in the warm spring breeze. I have to get the hat. I’m sure there’s another copy of the video. Once the police see me in the hat and then find it with the murder weapons, it will be more than a coincidence. They’ll have everything they need to convict me of all the crimes.

  A laugh. I freeze in place. Someone takes a step. My head whips around, but I can’t find them.

  “Who are you?” I yell.

  No response.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  The laugh again. I have to keep moving. I have to get to that stuff before the police find it—find me with it.

  “You betrayed me.” The voice stops me in my tracks. It’s a voice I would know anywhere. One I’ve heard a thousand times.

  I choke back tears.

  “You were supposed to be different.” The voice is getting closer. I spin around, examining every tree trunk and overgrown weed.

  “Where are you?” I call.

  I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around.

  And collapse into the dirt.

  “Ro,” I whisper. Her hair is dyed dark now. The lightness in her step and eyes are gone. What I see are calculated movements and hate as she looks down at me. “But the warehouse—”

  “That was good, huh? If you had gone around the back of that building, you would have seen that it didn’t have one. I walked right out.”

  “But they found your body.”

  She chuckles. It makes my heart go cold. I don’t know who this person is. “They found a body. Some sad tweaker. Don’t worry. She didn’t feel a thing.”

  I flinch away from her.

  “And Kara? And Suds?” I try to make the ice in my tone match my frozen heart, but my voice shakes and makes me sound like a scared little girl.

  Ro shrinks back in mock horror at my accusation, but then she smirks. “That bitch finally got what was coming to her. The pervert, well, that was a little messy. I don’t recommend using a shovel.” She shudders. “Kara was much cleaner. Easy. She almost begged me to do it.”

  “Why, Ro?”

  “Ro’s not my real name,” she snaps. “And I already told you. You betrayed me. We were supposed to be friends. Best friends.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this about Ben? Because I was dating him?”

  “Are you really that self-centered? You think I’m jealous of your little druggie boyfriend?”

  “Then tell me why, Ro? How did I betray you?”


  “You were just like Kara.”

  She steps forward until she’s towering over me. I should get up and get ready to run, but my legs are still shaking and my body is too heavy.

  “Everything was great. Momma and I have a house. Momma’s happy. Once Kara was gone, I was happy. I had a friend.” She looks away from me. “Then you betrayed me like she did.”

  Who is this version of Ro in front of me? I don’t know what she’s talking about. Her mom left her on a park bench in Santa Fe, and she only met Kara a couple of times. I never did anything to her.

  “I don’t understand. You live with your aunt. You barely knew Kara.”

  She shakes her head. “Momma would never leave me. You want to know why we had to sleep on that bench?” She pokes a finger at me. “It was because of that liar Kara. She ruined our lives.”

  The fuzziness and confusion begin to lift in my head. Kara got her housekeeper fired after the housekeeper accused her of stealing something.

  The picture Kara posted before the club flashes through my head. She was wearing that necklace.

  The one that wasn’t found on her body.

  The one that Ruby was wearing the next day.

  It’s like the earth shakes beneath me.

  “Ruby at Henderson’s is your mom. That’s why you would never go inside.”

  Ro starts clapping, still mocking me.

  I’m still not thinking straight. I can’t put all the pieces together. “This is about a necklace?”

  Ro’s face burns red. “It’s not about the necklace.” She looks at me with a mixture of disappointment and disgust—like she thought I would be a more worthy opponent.

  “Kara was my best friend. We did everything together. Then she met some girls at her fancy school. They didn’t like my hair or my clothes or that my mom was a housekeeper. Kara ditched me for them.

  “One of them dared Kara to take the necklace, but my mom caught her. Kara tried to save herself and got my mom fired for killing a baby.

  “I knew Kara did it. I broke into her house while everyone was at the hospital. I found the bottle of lemon furniture polish hidden in her closet. Momma was a wreck. No one in Santa Fe would hire her. That’s how we ended up on that park bench. Kara had to pay for it.”

  “What does this have to do with me? We didn’t even meet until I came to the Los Ranchitos.”

  “In the beginning, I just needed your uniform. School was the only place I could get to Kara. But then you and Kara became friends.” She smiles with delight. “You got me into her house.”

  A wave of nausea passes over me. I inadvertently helped Ro kill Kara.

  “But what about the man who chased you in the fire? You have that burn on your arm.”

  She glances down at the still-visible mark on her wrist. “Curling iron. I had to get you to let me back in that night. You always set the fires away from people, like you didn’t want to hurt anyone. I knew that if your fire hurt me, you would feel so bad that you’d do whatever I wanted.” She chuckles again. “You should have seen the look on your face when you answered the door.”

  Now it feels like the whole world has dropped onto my back. I can’t stand up. Tears form in my eyes. “What did Suds do to you?” I whisper.

  She waves a hand at me like the question is unimportant. “I didn’t want you to go home. That’s when I still thought we were friends.”

  “We were friends, Ro.”

  She holds out her hand to stop me.

  “At first I was just going to punish you. I left the article and the fire starter. I thought you’d make it up to me by telling me your secret. That’s what best friends do. I gave you so many chances to tell me, but you didn’t. You turned out to be just like Kara.”

  “I still don’t understand.” My voice shakes in fear.

  “I took care of you, Jenny. I kept your secret. I let you play with my kitten, but you were like her—a stuck-up rich girl in your fancy room. You ditched me just like she did.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “You said, ‘We’re not friends.’ You used the exact same words as Kara.”

  “Please,” I beg, “just let me go. I’ll be in Ohio. You’ll never have to see me again.”

  She shakes her head. “I let Kara get away. I should have taken care of her the day she decided we weren’t friends anymore. If you had just told me your secret, Jenny, that would have been enough. Then I would have known that you couldn’t hurt Momma or me without everyone knowing about the fires.”

  She crouches down so she can look me in the eye. Her voice is deceptively soft. “If I had gotten rid of Kara when she ditched me, none of the other stuff would have happened. I’m not making that mistake again.”

  Tears are streaming down my face. “I didn’t mean what I said. You were my first friend here. Your friendship was everything to me. I would never hurt you or your mom.”

  Ro stands and examines me. I think maybe I have a chance; maybe she’ll release me from her twisted version of friendship and let me leave forever.

  Footsteps rustle in the distance. Ro shakes her head again, like she’s clearing it. “No. You’re too good a liar for me to believe you. You convinced everyone that you’re afraid of fire so they wouldn’t suspect you.”

  “I am afraid of fire,” I whisper.

  “You’re afraid of what you’ll do with it. That’s why you got sent here, right? Your stepfather was afraid you were going to hurt your sister. Set her on fire.”

  “Stop!” I scream. “I would never harm Hailey!”

  Ro looks unconvinced. “There you go, lying again.” She points into the woods. “The cops are coming. You better get rid of that evidence before they find you.”

  “Why? So you can point them in my direction? Get me caught red-handed for murder? I’ll tell them about you, Ro. I’ll tell them everything you did.”

  “You don’t even know my name. Besides, I’m dead, remember? And how long do you expect to hold out in a police interrogation? You’re weak. You’ll crack. Once they have you for the fires, it will be a hop, skip, and a jump to get you to confess to the murders.”

  My anger sends me up to my feet. I stand and come face to face with her. She looks like Ruby. I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier.

  “It wasn’t me. I wasn’t in my right mind. The sleeping pills made me start those fires.” As soon as I hear myself say it, it sounds plausible. I could do it. I could play innocent and blame the pills. I could hold up in an interrogation.

  Ro scoffs. “No, they didn’t. You hardly ever took those things. When I followed you into the trees, it was all you, Jenny. You knew exactly what you were doing.”

  “In Ohio, after I took a pill, I woke up all wet from the rain. There was a fire in an abandoned house. My stepfather covered it up. The same thing happened again here. He’ll testify to that.” And I know he will. He’ll take a hit at work, but we’ll recover. Mom and Hailey will be protected. I’ll be poor, sad Jenny who everyone feels sorry for. I won’t be scary, dangerous Jenny locked away for the rest of her life.

  Wait.

  Ro’s twisted this all around. She’s made me into the evil one.

  I’m not.

  “I may have started the fires, but I didn’t kill anybody.”

  Ro cocks her head to the side. “Except a whole house full of people.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I was seven. I didn’t know what I was doing.” The words explode out of my mouth, and, for the first time in my life, I believe it. If I had known, I wouldn’t have ever touched the matches. I did start that fire, but I didn’t kill those people. They didn’t have smoke detectors. They left those matches out where a child could reach them.

  “Fine,” I say. If Ro wants a worthy opponent, she’s about to get one. “Tell everyone about the fires—all of them. I’ll take responsibili
ty and accept my punishment. It was worth it, having that kind of power in my hands.” I step forward. “That control over life and death.”

  Ro takes a step back. I move forward until I’m in her face again. I have that control now. I feel the same rush as when a flame I’ve sparked dances to life.

  “You can tell them whatever you want….” I pause. “And I’ll tell them about your mom.”

  Ro flinches. “You don’t know anything about my mom.”

  “I don’t have to. All I need to know is that she was Kara’s housekeeper. Kara stole her necklace. Kara was killed, and your mom was wearing her necklace again. That sounds like a pretty good motive to me.”

  “You can’t prove that. No one knew that Kara had the necklace. She hid it. My mom didn’t even know Kara was living here.”

  “Henderson’s has security cameras.”

  “What?”

  “You’re wrong. Your mom did know that Kara was here. Kara went into Henderson’s. When your mom approached her, she took off running. Henderson’s has security cameras. I bet they captured the look of horror on Kara’s face before she ran—ran like she was terrified of your mom.”

  “That doesn’t prove anything,” Ro says. “Everyone knows kids go there to buy booze. Kara got caught. That’s it.”

  “I don’t have to prove anything. What did you say? ‘A hop, skip, and a jump’? Doesn’t your mom wonder why her missing necklace suddenly reappeared? She’ll figure it out, Ro. And if she’s as good a mom as you say, then…maybe they’ll let you visit her in prison after she confesses to everything to save you.”

  Ro’s face crumples into real fear. I step back in surprise. I think I won, but I don’t have time to stop and enjoy it. I pull out the phone with the video and smash it against a rock. I take the pieces and toss them into the river.

  “I’m going home now.” I start walking in the direction of the Los Ranchitos.

  Ro doesn’t move behind me. The rustling in the bushes increases.

  Allen charges through to where we’re standing.