“How'd you know when I was going to be back?” I asked as I slung my purse onto a stool and met Addi's brown eyes across the counter. She smirked at me and I was instantly reminded of Flor. Ugh. My obsession's amped up; I can barely go a minute without thinking about him.
“I didn't. I got it this morning and then just kept microwaving it.”
“You're a weirdo,” I told her, but that didn't wipe the knowing look off her face.
“So. Did you and Flor do it again last night?” I choked on my coffee and tried to play innocent with her (not that it ever really worked). “In your parents' house? You two are way too brave to be sane. You do know that, right?”
“You're jumping to conclusions,” I said, but I couldn't keep the smile off my own face. I groaned and slunk over to the couch to sit down. “Okay, so maybe we did fool around a little.” Addi raised an eyebrow at me. “Fooled around a lot? Is that better?” She nodded and joined me, perching on the edge of the couch arm with her lithe, dancer's body that I'd always envied. It didn't matter what kind of dance it was – jazz, ballet, tap, swing – she'd done it all and was good at every single one of them.
“So that fight with Max and Rhonda … ?” I sipped my coffee and tried to be grateful that she wasn't rolling her eyes and sighing as she so often did when I mentioned Flor.
“We had sex. In his bathroom. While the two of them were in the house.” I cringed and so did Addi.
“I see. So you guys deserved what was coming to you?” I nodded and she sighed, standing up and stretching her long arms over her head.
“Well, I figured it would happen eventually. You both were too into each other to just let it go.”
“What would happen eventually?” I asked, feeling a little guilty thrill at her words. I had an idea of what she was going to say, but I wanted another person to voice it before I did, like it'd be more real that way.
“That you two would get together,” Addi said with an exasperated sigh. Okay, so maybe she hadn't abandoned all of her traditional Florian related behaviors. Together. Were Flor and I getting together? For real? I didn't want to let myself hope for it, but inside, I giggled like a maniacal schoolgirl. “How are you going to break this news to the family?” she asked, leeching away some of my thrill.
Before I could answer, Theo and his boyfriend, Yuu, appeared, waltzing into the apartment like they owned the place. Apparently we were on those terms now. I didn't mind actually. I enjoyed having Theo around and there was something about Yuu that told me these boys would find a way to make it work.
“What's going on in here?” Theo said, sitting down next to me and stealing my drink from my hand. He took a sip, made a face, and then handed it back. “That is old and disgusting. You need something fresh.”
Addi ignored him and decided to divulge my personal secrets.
“Abi and her brother fucked again, once in front of their current lovers and once in their parents' house.” I tried not to curl into a ball and die.
“Stepbrother,” I corrected. “And it wasn't exactly in front of them.”
“She's trying to figure out a way to come out to her parents.”
“Oh my God, girl, I have got this,” Yuu said, taking the seat opposite me on an overstuffed armchair I'd inherited from my dad. “I am an expert at coming out and trust me, my parents would've preferred I was banging my sister over being gay.”
“Step,” I corrected again, but nobody was listening to me. Maybe that'd always been my problem? Maybe I didn't speak up enough?
“I threw this big surprise party for my mother's birthday and then in her card I wrote you've now got free fashion advice for life.” I snorted and came pretty damn close to spewing coffee all over the floor.
“You did not,” I said and Yuu shrugged his thin shoulders, brown eyes blazing as he looked back at me.
“Does it matter? I came out, told them everything, but they freaked and got over it. Now, they invite Theo over for holidays. It was hard and it sucked, but it was better than living with the pain.” I bit my bottom lip and glanced away. Yuu was trying to help by comparing our situations, but I still felt like his was harder to deal with than mine. It made me feel like an asshole. “Tell them and see what happens. If they can't accept it, then fuck them.” He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, dark hair falling in his face. I knew from Theo's stories that Yuu's parents had moved here from Japan when he was six and that they were super strict with him. Being gay meant not carrying on the family line, meant being a disappointment in a way. But over time, they'd accepted him. Would my parents be the same way if Flor and I were to pursue things?
“I don't want to lose my family,” I said, thinking of my dad and all the things he'd done for me. He was a hard ass at times, but he'd also worked his butt off to provide for me. He'd been at every ballet recital, every school play, every concert. I twisted my fingers together around the coffee cup and stared at the lid with laser focus.
“Lose them?” Yuu said, leaning forward again. “If this is enough to send them packing then good riddance.” I looked up sharply and he raised an eyebrow at me. “Family isn't just about blood, sister. It's about love and acceptance. Honestly, how can you really have one without the other?”
“Jesus Christ, is this some after school special?” Theo said with a sigh, slapping his hands on his thighs. “Can we please do something ridiculous? Like make cupcakes with vaginas on them?”
“Like you've ever seen a vagina before,” Addi murmured, and the three of them laughed. I smiled, but I couldn't shake Yuu's words, even if they were a little cliché. Love and acceptance.
I tapped my fingers on the lid of my drink.
Everything's worth trying at least once, right?
“Fuck that,” Flor said, snapping off a black latex glove and dropping it in the trash can near his foot. His current client was at the mirror, turning this way and that as she examined her new tattoo: a very beautiful and very realistic rendition of a calla lily on her hip. It wasn't the most original design in the world, but Flor's skill made the image pop in a way that drew the eye right to it. Unfortunately, it was in the very same spot that my own tattoo was and I was having trouble pulling my mind away from the memory. Had he untied her bikini bottoms the way he'd done mine? With that wicked careful slowness? I mean, she was obviously interested in him. I could see it in her eyes, her hair flipping, her lip licking.
I glanced around the studio, half-expecting Max to walk in at any moment and level us both with that look of contempt and judgment that made my insides shrivel. But On Bent Wings was empty except for Flor, me, and his bouncy blonde client.
“It's absolutely beautiful, Florian,” she said, drawing his name out like a promise. I tried not to get jealous, but even though I'd spent years desperately trying to perfect that ruse, it never worked. After that night we'd had on Friday? Wasn't happening. “Can I give you a kiss?” She winked at him and sucked her lower lip under her teeth. Flor slanted a glance my way, unusual for him. Maybe he really is taking this seriously!
“Whatever,” he said and she squealed, bouncing forward with her bikini bottoms still barely taped into place. I watched in silent frustration as she threw her arms around his neck and pressed a pink kiss to his cheek. Fortunately, he untangled her before she could meld her body against his. Trying to have a conversation with this girl around had been difficult. I'd tried to wait until he was done, but well, Flor was Flor. I think his words were shit or get off the pot. So, in as cryptic a manner as I could, I offered up my plan of attack for our parents. Fuck that was his most accepting response yet.
“Can I take a selfie with you? I have got to Instagram this shit.” I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed. Blonde Bitch turned a glare on me, gave me a once-over that said she wasn't impressed with my ratty jeans and my black tank top, and then pressed her body against Flor's. She snapped a picture with her phone before he could protest and bounced away to collect her jeans. She hadn't been too embarrassed to hav
e her tattoo done right out in the front of the shop, even though she was half-naked from the waist down.
I swallowed hard and watched as Flor took her debit card and ran it through his Square Reader. This girl, with her perfect body and perfect hair and perfect clothes, this what was I competing against. It didn't leave a very pleasant feeling in my stomach. All this time, I'd been so caught up on the fact that Florian was my stepbrother that I hadn't even bothered to wonder about all the rest of the obstacles standing in my way.
Blonde Bitch yammered away as Flor got out a cigarette and leaned in the doorway to the back with it hanging unlit from his lips. To me, he looked bored, but she didn't seem to care. Persistent. I was really going to have to work on that aspect of my personality.
“Hey, look, I'm glad you like my work and all, but my girlfriend's waiting, so I got to go.” He gestured randomly at me and I watched as the girl's jaw dropped open. She looked between the two of us while I fidgeted with my stray bra strap and tried to keep it from sliding down my shoulder onto my arm. A warm burn twisted my belly, and I tried not to get too excited. Flor had used the girlfriend excuse with me before to get rid of unwanted attention.
“If you ever get bored with Plain Jane, give me a call.”
Flor grinned, flashing white teeth. He pulled his cigarette from his lips with two fingers and leaned forward.
“Not likely, Barbie doll. Get lost.” Without waiting for a response, Flor moved around her and opened the front door, flipping the sign over to closed. The girl huffed and shouldered rudely past me before storming out the door and down the street. I didn't say anything as my stepbrother pulled it closed behind her and flicked the locks into place. Outside, the sky was an inky black and peppered with stars, the restaurant across the street still filled with a lively crowd.
“Get a beer with me?” he asked, turning off the lights as he moved back around the counter. When they were all off and the only light inside the building was coming from the street lamps outside, Flor paused next to me and looked down at my face with his eyes blanketed in shadow.
“I'm only eighteen, remember?” I joked, but when he didn't say anything in response, I rushed to fill in the silence. “But we could grab something to eat anyway?”
“I don't think telling our parents is a good idea, Abigail. All it's gonna do is make them act weird around us. And your dad? Fuck, I'll be lucky if he doesn't pull a gun on me.”
“If … ” I struggled to find some of Yuu's confidence, take some comfort in his words. What he'd said today had made so much sense to me. But in order for me to argue my point, I had to admit another: that I wanted us to be together, officially. Suddenly though, it'd become hard to speak. Flor was too close, the memory of last night too fresh.
“If, what?” he asked, and I was relieved to find that his voice was soft, much softer than it'd been before. I fiddled with my bra strap again, and Flor reached out to stop me, sliding his hand over mine and pulling it away. His unlit cigarette dropped to the floor as he wrapped his left arm around my waist and dragged me close, my body pressed tight to the front of his. I shivered as he dropped his mouth to the curve of my neck, trailing down over my shoulder until he reached the loose strap.
“If we want to be together, we have to tell them,” I said, shivering again as his fingers traced over my skin, each whorl of his fingerprints stirring up goose bumps. Honestly, I was a little surprised he was touching me so easily.
At my words, Flor stiffened briefly, but he didn't pull away, instead leaning into me so he could rest his forehead against mine. The tender position nearly brought tears to my eyes, but I held them back. I'd sobbed enough over Flor. Now that I had him, even if it was just for this brief moment, I wouldn't waste it crying.
“Damn it, Abi, how'd you do it? Get me to let my guard down? This wasn't supposed to happen with you. I've been fighting these feelings since I was sixteen.” I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed tight, hugged him like I hadn't done in years, ever since that kiss. After that, he stopped letting me touch him, stopped letting me in. I was starting to wonder if those secrets I'd always seen in his face, that hesitation, that fear, if it had something to do with me. As if he could read my thoughts, Flor started filling in the blanks without my even having to ask. “That night I kissed you,” he began, “when you were fifteen?” I nodded, my cheek brushing the soft cotton of his T-shirt. “I saw you sneak out. I figured I had a pretty good idea where you'd be going, so I went, too. I promised myself I'd leave you alone, let you have a good time for once in your life. But then I saw you kissing that guy, and I almost went bat shit crazy. Hell, when I had you pressed up against that wall, I almost lost it, almost fucked you right then and there, the world be damned.”
“I wished for years that you had,” I whispered and Flor groaned, like he was having trouble controlling himself now, too. “Why'd you bring that girl with you then?” I couldn't help remembering the sneer on her face, replaced quickly with that look of relief they always got when they heard the word sister.
“Girl?” Flor asked, and I smiled against his shirt. I felt sorry for the women he messed around with sometimes, but I was honestly a little glad that he didn't remember her. When Florian looked back over the years, maybe the only girl he'd ever really remember would be me?
“You brought her to the party,” I explained, not wanting this moment of honesty, this closeness wrapped in shadows, to end.
“Oh.” He thought for a minute, like he was trying to recall the details of that night. It had only been three years, but it felt like a lifetime. “I thought she'd keep me safe from you.”
“Safe?” I asked, leaning back. Flor kept his arms wrapped around my waist and refused to let me go. This close up, I could feel his breath stir my hair, see the slight stubble on his jaw. I ran my fingers over it, searching for that beautiful scar of his.
“I didn't trust myself with you, Abigail.”
I felt a little thrill.
“Is that why you stopped hanging around so much?”
He nodded, and then growled low in his throat. The sound made me crazy with need.
“But … I don't know what to do with you now.” His right hand rose to cup my jaw and I swallowed hard as he pulled my face to his for a deep kiss that warmed me straight down to my toes. “I know logically that this can't work, that I'm supposed to be your fucking brother, that I'm supposed to take care of you.”
“I don't mind,” I said with a smile, “if you want to take care me of as a lover instead?” Flor laughed, but his voice had gone dark and husky again.
“What about our future sibling, Abs? How will that work?” I shrugged, but then decided I had to say something. This was it, I could feel it. My one chance to get Flor to work with me, to accept a possible relationship. I'd waited my entire life for this one moment. It wasn't that I thought my happiness depended on a man, or even on Flor in particular, but who doesn't want love? Who doesn't want a partner to share the ups and downs with, ride the waves with a warm hand and a gentle smile at your side? The fact that he was a genius in the bedroom – and out of it – didn't hurt either.
“Addison told me that Patrick and Dorian's little sister feels like her own, like she couldn't feel anymore like a sister if she were blood. So what if we share a sibling? It doesn't matter. We're not related, and honestly, Flor, you've never really felt like a brother to me.”
He sighed, one long release of breath that was like music to my ears. I knew Florian Harper Riley well enough to tell when he was giving in.
I held him closer, nuzzled his shoulder and breathed in his scent.
Please, please, please.
“Abi, I'm … I've never been good at relationships, you know that. I don't want to fuck it up with you. I'd rather have you around as a sister than not at all.”
“I won't let you fuck it up, Flor,” I told him, and I meant it. I felt his fingers in my hair and then he was turning us, pushing me back until I was forced to sit on the counter. He tucked
himself between my thighs and put his hands on my waist.
“Then again, no girl was ever good enough.” He paused, licked his lips. “Because each and every single one of them I was comparing to you.” Flor took my face between his palms, kissed my lips softly, gently. His fingers found the button on my jeans and opened it, dragging the pants down my legs before I could get in a protest.
“Someone could walk by and see,” I whispered, but he didn't care about that, I knew. Besides, I had to admit, there was something about this scenario that was insanely sexy. In the dark, on a busy street, hidden in plain sight? In Flor's tattoo studio? I closed my eyes and breathed in the familiar scents.
“They can go fuck themselves,” he told me, and his confidence made my toes curl. But still, I hadn't gotten an answer yet, and I wasn't giving up.
“So does this mean yes?” I asked him as he ran his fingers over my tattoo, teasing the waistband of my panties. Truthfully, I'd kind of figured something like this might happen, so I'd worn my matching leopard print bra and undies. Bingo.
“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he said, kissing my neck, nibbling on my earlobe. I reached down and grabbed a silky handful of his hair. In this light, it was dark as ink.
“Yeah, yeah, what?” I asked, making him look at me. Flor reached up and caught both my wrists in his hands, pushing them down by my sides and getting close enough to kiss. Still, he fought to keep those perfect lips from me as I leaned forward. “Can we try this, Flor? Really try this?”
He hesitated, considering the implications.
“No Max?” he asked and I nodded, biting my bottom lip. “No other guys at all?”
“Me and you, Flor. For real. As a couple.” I paused. “That means no Rhonda.” A tickle of anticipation fluttered in my throat. Is this really happening right now? I considered pinching myself, just to make sure this wasn't a dream. “No other girls either.”
I waited in the perfect silence for several heartbeats, scarcely daring to breathe. Hardheaded, know-it-all Florian and me? As a couple? A shiver crawled down my spine as his grip tightened around my wrists.
Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 47