Outside, a group of people streamed by, laughing, unaware of the intense emotional battle that was taking place just feet away from them. If they were to stop and peer closely at the glass, I knew they could see us. No one did.
Seconds stretched like hours, but I didn't dare make a sound and then finally, the miraculous happened.
Flor nodded and I squealed, pulling my wrists from his grip and throwing them around his neck. I held him tight and relished the idea that he was mine now. Mine. I pulled back and watched a smile stretch his lips, a real one.
“I can't believe I'm doing this,” he said, but he sounded happy. Surprised, maybe, but happy. “I'm dating my little sister.”
“Stepsister,” I corrected and his smile grew into a sexy grin. Relief pounded through me, a heady concoction that made my head spin. I felt dizzy, like if I tried to stand up, I'd stumble and fall. This cannot be happening right now. Only it was. It really, really was.
“Whatever, dope,” he said, pushing himself against me hard enough that I could feel his erection through his jeans. “Who cares what I call you anyway? Obviously, if you couldn't tell, I don't think of you as a sister, even though I've tried my fucking damnedest.”
“I think,” I said, trying to remember to breathe. It was hard, with him hot and ready and pressed up against the thin cotton of my panties. “You thought you were being a big brother when really, you were just jealous. I mean, come on, you chased away every boyfriend I ever had.” Flor squeezed me tighter.
“None of them were good enough for you,” he said simply, bending down to nip at my earlobe. “None of them, not even me.” He breathed hot breath against my neck as he reached down to unzip his jeans. “But now that you're mine, that means I get to do whatever I want to you, right? I mean, you do know what you're asking? If I stay, it's not going to be as your brother. Instead of squinting my eyes and pretending that you're a nun, I'm going to be wastefully wicked.”
“Wastefully wicked?” I asked and his grin twisted into a smirk as he freed himself from his pants, pushing my panties aside with skillful fingers.
“It means, nee-chan, that I'm not even going to try to hold back.” Flor slid some loose curls behind my ear as he angled himself to enter me. “Those times before, with me and you, those were slipups, that was my control breaking at the last possible second while I tried to get a hold of it. Abs, if I do this now, I'm letting loose.”
“Good,” I whispered, looking up into green eyes that I'd admired for over a decade. “Because that's all I've ever wanted.”
Florian pushed into me oh so slowly, filling me up as he held my gaze, the fingers of his left hand curling around my hip, sliding over the lines of my tattoo. I breathed in deep, took in the smell of antiseptic and ink as Flor cupped the back of my head with his other hand and kissed me. The slant of his lips was deep and dark, like he was drinking me up, savoring me. When he'd said he was letting go, I'd imagined a wildness, a bestial rutting against the counter, but this was even more intense. This was … it felt like in his every touch, in his every movement, in the rhythm of his kiss, that he was telling me something.
I love you.
I felt it as he moved inside of me, deeper, deeper, until our hips made full contact, until our bodies couldn't get any closer if we tried. I suddenly realized that Flor was … making love to me. Holy shit. On the counter in his tattoo studio, where anyone could see, where Max could unlock the door and walk in.
And I didn't care.
I'd heard before that a person could tell the difference between simply screwing and making love, but I hadn't really believed it. I did now.
“Flor,” I gasped between kisses, but he wouldn't let me speak, filling my mouth with his tongue like he was drinking me in, holding me close, rocking our hips together. The dark haze of the studio was a perfect companion, hiding the bright flush that lit my cheeks, the quiver of my hands as I laced them behind his neck. Flor only paused to peel our shirts off, crushing my leopard print bra against his bare chest. I swear, I could feel the metal piercings in his cock as he slid it deep and stole it away from me again, leaving me panting and barely able to form a coherent thought. I tried to look away several times, but Flor touched his fingers to my chin and drew my gaze back over and over.
I had a feeling I knew what was coming, but I was almost too worked up to hear it.
“Abigail,” he began.
“Don't,” I said, putting my hands flat against his chest. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. “Not yet. Not right now. I don't think I can take it.”
“I told you, I'm not holding back. I warned you, Abs.” I sucked in a deep breath. “I love you,” he said simply, and it was almost too much. Feelings burst like fireworks inside my chest, riding the crest of an orgasm that I knew was coming on quick. “I want to hear you say it, too,” he told me in that cocky, annoying voice of his.
“I've said it a million times,” I told him, gasping at the rush of pleasure when he pushed into me, harder this time. And then Flor paused, going so still I was worried he was going to stop completely.
“Say it,” he commanded, looking smug and stupid and so horribly beautiful that I wanted to cry. This was a face I knew, a face I'd looked into a million times and wished was mine. And now it was. I hugged Flor tight to me, hooked my ankles behind his back and held him there while I worked up the courage to say the words yet again.
“I love you, Flor.”
He grinned and cupped my face between his hands, kissing me hard and deep before he started moving again. Flor took hold of my hips and ground my ass against the countertop. He wasn't rough or wild, but filled with a sort of ironclad intent that made my toes curl. When I came, arching my back and shuddering in his arms, he held me and kissed my cheeks until the crowds across the street were gone and there was nobody left but us.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“This is a pretty big deal,” Addison said, lifting up one designer dress after the other as she stood in front of the mirror and tried to figure out what to wear. Tonight, we were having our first double date with me and Flor as a couple. Addi still wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but she said she'd been getting used to it for years. Ever since I saw that damn shrine, she'd told me. “Which one do you like better?” I looked between the black dress and the … other black dress. They were both pretty, but they also both looked pretty much the same to me. One was shorter with a scoop neck and a plunging back while the other had tiny cap sleeves embroidered with lace and beads. I pointed to that one, but Addi chose the other, undressing right in front of me and sliding the fabric over her head. I was used to it. She even walked around naked sometimes.
“You're not seriously considering wearing boots with that?” Theo asked, fully dressed in drag and wearing a dress strangely similar to Addison's. He had on blue heels with his. “Pretty Woman, anyone? You'll look like a hooker.”
Addison glared at him, but Yuu was already nodding in agreement. Okay, when I said double date, I actually meant triple – sort of. We were going to a club to see Theo and Yuu's performance. It was a brand new place not far from Flor's tattoo shop and something Springfield desperately needed. There hadn't been a good club or bar around Main Street in years, not something that would attract college students like this one would. Everybody loved drag queens. Plus, Yuu said their new place served killer hot wings. Didn't get any better than that. Tonight was the grand opening and we were going to be the honored guests, lucky us. I knew that would probably involve some sort of how big are your boobs? contest, but I was willing to make the sacrifice.
I rolled onto my back and stared up the ceiling. Flor and I were a week into our new relationship and I was loving every freaking second of it. Rhonda had disappeared completely, but Max was still an issue. He and Flor were fighting almost daily, and I was starting to wonder if he'd ever forgive us. Flor had apparently thought that telling him we were dating would solve the issue, but it'd only seemed to make it worse. At least Max hadn't ratted us
out yet. Flor had made me agree not to say anything to our parents until after the baby had come. He said it was because he didn't want to do anything that would stress his mom out, but I wasn't sure. I decided I was just going to count my blessings and deal with it.
I grabbed a nearby pillow and pressed it against my face to hide a smile. Luckily, nobody was paying attention to me in that moment; I'd already been chewed out three times today for obsessing. When I wasn't dating Flor, he was all that I could think about. Now that I was dating him … well, still all that I could think about. I guess I was just head over in heels in love with him.
I tossed the pillow aside and rolled onto my belly, watching the two boys as they helped refine Addi's look for the evening. She was in good enough spirits that even though I'd been annoying her with my Flor obsessiveness, I knew she'd help me with my outfit, too. Now that Patrick's move was official (and both my stepmom and I had agreed that he could move in with us), I didn't think anything could shake Addi's blessed mood. Or maybe she was just glad that his big news had nothing to do with getting married (yet). Either way, it couldn't have come at a better time for me. Lucky.
I checked my phone and found another message from Flor. Each one was like a treasure to be opened, savored, read and reread. He was actually communicating with me now and it was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. I'd thought I'd known Flor, but apparently I'd only scratched the surface of who he really was. I couldn't wait to keep digging deeper.
Leaving the shop now, dope. C U in 5.
I stifled a squeal and sat up. The boys had fussed with my hair and I'd already managed to muss it up. They both cast disappointed looks my way and then continued to focus their attention on Addison. I slid off the bed and managed to get out of there before anyone noticed. My makeup was done (unless I'd messed that up, too) and my hair, didn't need to worry about an outfit since whatever I chose would be deemed unsatisfactory and thrust aside. Instead, I padded across the wood floor and waited for Flor at one of the kitchen stools.
When I heard his boots pounding up the stairs, my heart started to flutter and my stomach twisted into knots. I pretended not to care, focusing on some old text message from Addi and acting like I was in the middle of a conversation. When he unlocked the door and paused, eyes undoubtedly focused on me, it took all of my concentration not to glance over and meet his gaze.
“You can fake it all you want, Abs, but I know you better than that. It's okay if you can't keep your hands off of me, I'll understand.” I could hear the smirk in his voice, but I couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face. I tossed my phone onto the counter and turned to look at him, my blood heating in a rush as he stepped close to me and ran his fingers down the side of my face. Flor was looking at me like he still couldn't quite believe this was real, gazing at me like he was still in shock. It was a look I'd been getting a lot lately, but I liked it. Loved it, even. It was proof that this thing between me and him, it was real.
“I'm trying to keep some of my obsession to myself,” I said, curling my fingers around the neckline of his shirt as he stepped even closer, pressing his body between my legs. Despite our vulnerable spot in the kitchen, I couldn't resist, raising my lips to his for a kiss that nearly burnt me to a crisp. “Trying to be normal.”
“Fuck normal,” Flor said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling our chests together. “If I'd wanted normal, I wouldn't be dating my little sister.” I pursed my lips together.
“Stepsister,” I corrected, for what was probably the millionth time in my life.
“Whatever. If we're going to take the risk, it might as well be worth it. I'm going to hold you and fuck you and kiss you until you can't wait to get away from me.”
“Doubtless that'll happen anytime soon,” Addi said, sauntering down the hall and looking like a freaking model in her tight dress and booties. Okay, so the guys had been right – boots equaled hooker but booties were chic. I could only hope Addi worked at least some of her magic on my look. “She's been floating around here on cloud nine.” Addison paused and narrowed her eyes. “So if you hurt her, I'll have to finally keep my word and castrate your ass.” She pointed a finger at him. “Don't think I won't.”
Flor kept his hold on me, but he was staring over my shoulder with a smugness that I knew would only further infuriate my friend. Years and years of animosity simmered in the air like summer sunshine.
“Trust me,” Flor said, sliding me off the stool and into his arms. “I wouldn't be doing this if I was just fucking around.” He licked his lips and a nervous energy seemed to emanate from him, like he'd been holding it in and he'd just uncorked the bottle. “My mom called me on the way over here to tell me about her fucking ultrasound.” Flor squeezed me tighter, like he was afraid this news would separate us, drive a wedge into our newfound happiness. “She's having a girl.” My stepbrother's voice dropped low, like he was on the verge of screaming. “Four and a half months in already. I can't even fucking believe it.”
“She has a right to keep a secret, you know,” Addi said, always taking the opposition to Flor, even if she agreed with him. Personally, I was in too much shock to say much of anything. A girl. A freaking girl. Not only was I going to be a big sister, but Flor was … going to be a big brother for real. This time, he really would have a little sister. Personally, I'd been praying for a boy. I knew the whole thing would've been a hell of a lot less torturous on him that way. “It wasn't like she just got pregnant by accident. It took work and time and money and dedication. Obviously she wanted to make sure things panned out before she said anything.”
Flor set me down and squeezed me tight again, like he was waiting for my reaction.
“More time to deal with it would've been nice. I feel like it's coming up so fast.” He sighed and his breath stirred my hair. I knew he was worried on too many levels to keep count. If his mom found out about us, how would that stress affect her pregnancy? And even then, what if she banished him? What if he never got to meet his little sibling? What if he failed as a big brother yet again, just in a different way, by not being there? I knew all of this and more was running through his head, could see it in his eyes, had even heard some of it aloud.
I made myself smile. I knew a phone call was probably coming my way pretty soon, but I wasn't going to answer it. I wasn't going to let this news screw up our night. A real date, a night out with friends, I wanted this.
“It'll be okay, Flor,” I told him, looking up and catching those green eyes on mine. I wanted him to know that I wasn't just spewing empty words, that I really, truly believed what I was saying. Things would be okay, they'd work out. For the first time in my entire life, I felt like I was on the right path and I wasn't going to let anything or anyone derail me. “Don't think about babies. Think about hot wings and drag queens and a club that actually allows the under twenty-one in the doors. Those are the only things that matter right now.” His lips twitched in a small smile.
“At least we know we won't be running into our parents tonight.”
I grinned back at him, fighting the tiniest bit of worry about taking him around other girls. I know, I know, it was probably ridiculous, but Flor did not have the best track record for holding onto girlfriends. I just had to hope and believe that I was different. He said he loved me. With most guys, that probably didn't amount to much, but Flor and I had history. I had to count on that.
“No parents, no babies, no bullshit,” I said, forcing him to kiss me.
“Oh, honey, now that's where you're wrong,” Theo said, sauntering out of Addi's bedroom with Yuu on his heels. “There's going to be loads and loads of bullshit tonight.”
I hooked my arm through Florian's and tried to sift through the mix of excitement and guilt that was churning in my gut. On the one hand, I was thrilled beyond all reason to be standing by his side, holding onto him like we belonged together. On the other, I was terrified somebody I knew would see us and tell our parents. I knew their finding out was an inevitability
, but I wanted to tell them in my own way, in Flor's way.
I took a deep breath and leaned against the wall with Addi while Patrick disappeared to grab drinks for himself and Flor. Unlike Max at the concert, Flor stayed with me, scanning the crowd with a practiced eye. Crowded parties, drinks, half-dressed women, that was kind of his scene – only this time some of the 'half-dressed women' were actually dudes. I prayed most of the girls were lesbians, so I wouldn't have to worry about Flor getting hit on.
“Hey there, sweetheart,” a man said, pausing next to us with a bright blue drink in his hand. Oh, and he wasn't talking to me. Flor turned on a bright grin and gave him a wink, arm sliding around my waist as he leaned in and spoke to me in a voice that was clearly meant to be heard.
“What do you think, fag hag? Is he good enough for me?” I gave the guy with a blue drink a once-over and shrugged, drawing a laugh from Flor, and sending the man away with a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes.
“I should've known that you weren't safe even in a gay club.” I paused as another group of guys wandered by and ogled Flor. “Maybe especially in a gay club would be a better way to say it.” Flor leaned in closer and put his lips against my ear, only this time when he sent a chill down my spine, it was on purpose. I knew for a fact that he was fully aware of what he was doing, and it was okay for me to like it. I swallowed back my usual shame and relaxed into him as the crowd around us swelled with newcomers. Music was playing, but nobody was dancing – yet. Since there was no cover for the over twenty-one, drinks were flowing like water, but both Theo and Yuu had assured me that I'd have fun anyway. Nobody gets to sit like a Sad Sack Sally in the corner when my junk is tucked and I've got Coral Queen No Smear Lipstick on my face. I'll make sure this a night you'll never forget. I took a deep breath.
“Relax, nee-chan,” Flor said and my heart skipped over a beat. Was it okay for him to still call me that? I mean, was it weird that I liked it? Ugh. Where was the Dear Abby article regarding dating one's stepbrother? Or, since I lived in Eugene, even better would be Dan Savage's Savage Love column in the Eugene Weekly, our free local paper. I could see the article now: Dear Nee-Chan, thanks for writing and holy shit. You're dating your brother? Pretty sure that sentence alone gives you all the information you need to figure things out. Oh, and stop correcting everyone with the whole 'step' thing – we get it already. It's not incest, but it's still fucked up.
Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 48