I swallowed hard and took another deep breath. I'd wanted this for so long, so, so, so, so long, and yet here I was having issues dealing with it.
Flor swept hair off the back of my neck and then used his body to push me into the wall. I could feel the long, hard length of his body pressing into me. When his lips found mine, touching down for the briefest of searing kisses, my knees turned to jelly and my doubts retreated into the shadows of the club.
“Relax. I mean it. Don't make me take you into the bathroom for a fuck. Pretty sure all of the stalls are full already, so it'd just be me and you and a sink in front of everybody.” I shivered, not entirely put off by the idea. “This is our first, like official thing together.” Flor stood up and I caught Addi raising an eyebrow at me. “Let's make it count, okay?”
“For once, I have to agree with the asshole. If you're going to take the risk, enjoy it.” I nodded and shook out my shoulders, smoothing my hands over the shiny black top that Addison had forced on me. When Flor had seen the halter draped over my bare shoulders, he'd been firmly on her side. Dick.
I looked up into Flor's green eyes, watched the smile curve up the corner of his lip. The question wasn't would I risk everything to have him, but rather would I give up everything to keep him. Since I knew the answer to the latter question was a resounding yes!, I made myself smile back and push up onto my tiptoes to kiss his lips again. By the time Patrick returned with Flor's drink, we were locked in a make out session that turned my cheeks pink and made me ridiculously aware of how many people were in the room around us – only I couldn't stop. Apparently neither could he because he took the drink in his right hand and kept the left around my waist.
When the lights dimmed and Theo's voice boomed out of the speakers mounted in the corners of the room, I finally pulled away and forced my attention to the stage. I would revel in this moment, drink it in, recall every sparkly sequin on Yuu's strangely beautiful pink dress.
“I've never seen a real drag show before,” I whispered to Flor as he draped himself over my shoulders and let the crowd push us close, close, closer.
“And I've never been in love before,” he whispered back, making my entire body flush hot. Before I could ask him how he felt about that, Theo had handed off his mic and started in on a lip sync to Katy Perry's Peacock.
So much for deep conversation. I smiled and let his words comfort a part of me that had spent too many years in turmoil. My heart.
By the time the actual show was over, and I had images in my head of Theo and Yuu that I could never scrub clean, the crowd was good and liquored up, bouncing in tandem with Marina and the Diamonds' song, Primadonna. Flor had disappeared some time ago, drawn away by the momentum in the club. Addi and I had split off from the boys for a while to dance with Theo and Yuu, but now that the song was winding to an end, I felt a familiar pang of anxiety. I didn't want to walk off and find Flor with a girl pinned to the wall like I had with Max.
I snuck away from Addi and checked out the restrooms first, but when I didn't find him, I squeezed out the narrow entrance in the front and looked down the sidewalk. I found Flor to my right, about a block down. And yes, he had someone pinned to the wall. Only this time, it wasn't a girl, but Max. A familiar froth of blonde hair stood to the side with her arms crossed and lips turned down in a frown. Rhonda.
I hurried down the sidewalk towards them, cursing the high heeled boots on my feet. Damn you, Addi, and your perfect fashion sense. Flor saw me coming and released his friend, stepping back and tucking his fingers into his front pockets. Max saw me and licked a drop of blood from his lip, swiping his hand across his mouth before he turned away and stared intently at a crack in the sidewalk. Rhonda, though, she met my eyes just fine.
“Hi Abi,” she said and I forced myself to smile. I couldn't get any words to come out. My eyes darted between Flor and Max, obviously in some sort of argument if the blood was any indication of what was going on between them.
“Came out to smoke and saw these assholes leaving the studio,” Flor said, reaching into his back pocket for a pack. He pulled out a cigarette and lit up. “I've been getting so much shit from this asshole and then I find out he's fucking my ex?”
“You're fucking mine,” Max shot back and the two boys stiffened like they might get into it again. I'd seen them fight before, but the intensity in the air right now was stifling. Still, Max was my childhood friend as much as he was Flor's. I wanted to make things right. I had to, for my own state of mind.
“Yeah, but come on, you were cheating on us just the same as we were cheating on you and then you have the audacity to get all preachy with me?”
Cheating?
I stared at Flor, his sharp green eyes sliding back to mine. Smoke curled from his lips and rested in the still air in round curls. Huh.
“You're fucking your sister, dude!” Max shouted back, not denying the allegations. Rhonda kept staring at me, but didn't bother to say anything. “Seriously? If anyone is more in the wrong, it's you. What'd you do? Work your charm on her like you do every other girl? Did you fuck every girl in Oregon, run out of chicks, so you had to go for family?”
Flor's cigarette tumbled from his mouth and he moved forward like he was going to hit his friend again, but I stepped between them. Max was cheating with Rhonda? Seriously? Since when?
“Stop,” I said, my heart breaking as I looked between the people standing in front of me. “Max,” I said, putting on my most reasonable tone of voice. “Honestly, if you were cheating on me … I deserved it. I mean, it wasn't like Flor and I … ” I trailed off and licked my lips. This was my chance to put this part of my life right. If I had Addi and Max by my side, I could tackle my parents, no matter what the outcome was. Flor, Max, Addi, Dad, and my stepmom, River, were the constants in my life. Three out of five gave me good odds. “How long?”
Max looked at me with his big, brown eyes.
“I'm sorry, Abigail,” he said, and I felt like he really meant it. Not that cheating was okay, not even if I'd done it, too, but I could live with this. It felt sort of … fated.
“When you started acting all nice, huh?” I said, trying to keep my tone light. “Bringing me flowers and shit? I should've known something was up.” I punched Max in the shoulder like I'd done a million times in our life, but I didn't feel anything like I did when I touched Flor. “You really are a piece of shit. I mean, I knew it, but still.”
“To be fair, you're also a piece of shit,” Max grumbled, looking between me and my brother and then shaking his head. He raked his fingers through his brown hair. “Jesus, I should've seen this one coming.”
I looked at Flor and watched him narrow his eyes.
“The hell is that supposed to mean?”
Max shrugged, but Flor grabbed the front of his shirt, making Rhonda fidget nervously.
“Just … the way you two look at each other. I mean, ever since high school, it's been kind of obvious. I guess I just didn't want to see it.” He held up his hands, palms forward, in a placating gesture. Max glanced between me and my stepbrother as I wrapped my arms over my chest to ward off the slight chill in the air. “Look, this whole thing's just kind of gotten out of control.” Max paused as Flor released him and lit up another cigarette, sliding his right arm around my waist, his fingers resting on my tattoo. Warmth filled me and I had to force myself not to giggle like an idiot. Damn, this is awesome. Not sure if I'd ever get used to Flor touching me so casually. “Besides, I'm tired of cleaning the damn litter box. Come home and take care of your own cats. That big one, what's her name, she pissed all over my sheets.”
Flor snorted and the tension in the air lifted – at least a little.
I looked over at Rhonda, her eyes catching on Florian for a split second. She had fucked him, and I had fucked Max, and so maybe there'd be some tension for a while, but I could live with this. I glanced at Rhonda's tattoo, the flower gleaming in the orange-yellow light from the street lamps.
“You didn't tell my pa
rents about any of this, did you?” Flor asked and Max shook his head, grimacing slightly.
“You think I want to be around when Art finds out that you're banging his daughter? Oh, and thanks for telling him that I banged his daughter. Fucking asshole.”
“Said daughter is standing right here,” I said, raising my right hand. Flor pulled his cigarette from his lips and glanced down at me, those same shadows dancing behind his eyes. “And thank you, Max,” I added, looking back at my ex with a small smile. Yes, the situation was awkward, but with everything that had happened, Max could've called up River and told her about Flor and me. He didn't. That had to mean something. If our friendship could survive this, it could survive anything. “And don't worry about my parents. When the time is right, we'll handle it.”
“When the time is right,” Flor repeated as Max and Rhonda exchanged a look. I didn't have to be a part of it to know what it meant: if there's a right time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“I had a good time tonight,” I told Flor, leaning in the doorway to my apartment. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched me with a smirk growing on his lips. Damn it, you know me too well, Florian.
“Pretending I'm not coming in to ravage you only makes it more embarrassing for you when I do,” he told me, cupping a hand to his mouth to yell over my shoulder. “Addi, I'm comin' inside. In more ways than one.”
“Seriously?” my friend said, popping her head out of her room to glare at us both. “Abigail, stop embarrassing yourself by pretending he's not staying the night.” She disappeared again as a flush heated my cheeks, only to pop back and tack on yet another note to my board of embarrassment. “And use a fucking condom. We don't need no sister-auntie situations going on here. Babies complicate things.” She slammed the door as Patrick's head appeared, cutting him off before he could add to the conversation. When I'd first met him, I'd thought 'quiet nerd', but no. Apparently, he was just as opinionated as Abi. I was slowly learning exactly how intense an at-home debate could get.
“I'm on the pill,” I muttered, stepping out of the way to let Flor slide smoothly into the apartment. I could barely get the door shut and locked before he was pressing against me, turning me around to face him. Without thinking, my arms slid around his neck and my face raised to peer into his. He had that shadowy look again, and it was killing me. Must be the 'baby talk'. “Flor, don't think about it,” I whispered as he leaned his forehead against mine. “I don't want you to get freaked out.”
“Freaked out?” he asked, voice husky, pressing his erection into me. “How freaked out do you really think I am right now?”
“We can have kids one day, Flor. We're not related.”
“I know,” he said, cupping my chin and bringing my lips to his for a sweet kiss that turned my knees liquid. “I know that, but I … I spent the last several years convincing myself I couldn't have you and why. It might take me a while to get over that, Abs, but I will. I'm not playing around with you. I want this.” He ground his hips against mine and I moaned, biting my lower lip as his fingers found the button on my jeans. “I want you, Abi.”
I arched my hips against Flor's, letting him slide my pants down my hips, letting him go only long enough to drop them on the floor at our feet. Addi and Patrick had already walked in on us doing it out here twice already, but I couldn't seem to convince myself to stop. When Flor stood up and pressed me against the door, lifting me just enough to slide inside, I didn't protest.
I kissed him; I fucked him; I counted my blessings.
Morning sunshine streamed over my face as I struggled to grab my phone and silence the alarm. Yes, it was Sunday, but I had a ton of extra schoolwork to catch up on. Being with Florian was kind of … full time. But I also refused to let my love for him screw up my education. I would prevail.
“Shut it off,” Flor groaned, his bare back stirring my body up in a way that might've been alarming if I wasn't so used to it. Seeing him naked in my bed was too exciting to put words to. I just wanted to kiss him up and down his spine and forget the rest of the world, but we'd spent the better part of so many days doing just that. “Ten more minutes.”
“You have an appointment,” I told him, sliding the blanket down just enough to slap his perfect ass. “You need to make money to pay for all those cats.” Despite attempting to find homes for the three kittens, Flor hadn't really been successful. And I was pretty sure he'd stopped trying. I leaned over and pressed one, perfect kiss to his shoulder, to the face of one of his tattoos. I made sure to get her right on her perfectly red lips and then slid out of bed.
Getting ready with Florian around took twice as long – he always joined me in the shower – so he was running late by the time we were out and dressed. Still, we couldn't keep our hands off each other, much to Addi's disgust, as I trailed him out the front door and down the steps.
“I hope you don't have any plans tonight,” Flor told me, kissing my neck, pushing my body up against the wall of the hallway.
“Why?” I gasped as his hands roamed over me, touching literally everything. His breathing sped up in time with mine as our lips made contact again and again and again, tongues tangling in an erotic dance. Shit.
“Because,” he told me, pulling back just enough to speak, close enough that I could taste his words on my lips. “I'm going to fuck the shit out of you, Abigail.”
“Florian.”
Fuck.
The voice that spoke my beloved's name in horror was not my own. Even if I hadn't heard it, I would've known who that was based on the way Flor's face went white as a sheet. Please don't let my dad be with her, I thought as I twisted my head to the side to stare at my stepmother. Meanwhile, my stepbrother's hands were on my waist, his erection pressed against me through his jeans. The position we were in, my legs spread, his hips locked tight against mine, it wasn't easy to explain away. And that would be if she hadn't heard what he'd just said to me.
Based on her expression of horror, I was certain that she had.
“Mom,” Flor squeaked out, taking a slow step back. All the places he'd been touching me went ice cold. River was alone, yes, but that didn't mean my dad wouldn't find out. They shared everything, even the little things, so I didn't even have hope that she might keep this from him for a while. In a split second, all of my fears and my shame came crashing down, culminating in that look on my stepmom's face. The moment I'd dreaded since I'd first realized my feelings for Flor was happening. Now. Here. On my doorstep.
And I was completely and utterly unprepared for it.
My body felt weak and sexed up, liquid, languid. I so couldn't handle this right now.
My hands clamped over my mouth as my stepmom took a step back and put a hand against the wall to steady herself. She was freaking forty-eight and pregnant. This was so not good.
“Mom,” Flor said again, not moving towards her, but not trying to explain the situation away either. He, like me, knew that it was probably impossible. How much had she seen?
“Florian,” she said, blinking rapidly like she was trying to come out of a coma. “Abigail. I … oh my God.” She turned away and covered her own mouth as I dropped my hands to my sides. I tried to get Flor to look at me, but his own hands were shaking, and his gaze was hooked on his mother's face. “Oh my. Oh dear Jesus.”
“Mom, listen to me,” Flor said, still not moving towards her. “Abigail … ” I waited for his words, suddenly desperate to hear what he had to say. I watched him clench his fists, run his tongue over his lips, his piercings. “I'm in love with Abigail.”
“Dear Jesus,” River repeated, tears blooming in her eyes like thunderstorms. She looked sharply over at me and I blurted the first thing I could think to say.
“I'm on birth control.”
Crap.
My stepmom's face turned as white as her son's as she leaned against the glass door behind her. Outside, people passed by on the sun soaked sidewalk, completely oblivious to what was happening inside this tiny stairwell
.
“You've … so you've … you two have … ” You've slept together. The words were implied; nobody needed to say them. I looked desperately at Flor, but he was still staring at his mother in shock.
“What are you even doing here?” he asked, voice low, almost accusing.
“The store owner,” she gestured weakly towards the wall, towards the shoe boutique that sat beneath my apartment, “wanted to talk about … something.” Her voice trailed off and her eyes went glassy for a moment before she looked up and locked onto my face. Traitor, her expression said and I couldn't help myself; I glanced away. “How did this happen?”
“For fuck's sake, Mom,” Flor snapped, running his fingers through his hair. “This wasn't an accident, some mistake that can be accounted for and psychoanalyzed, dealt with. This is … ” Flor finally paused to look over at me, and despite the situation, I saw the determination in his eyes. “This is worth fighting for.”
“Art's going to have a heart attack,” River whispered, fumbling in her pocket like she was going for her cell. Not yet.
“Wait!” I yelled, but she only pulled out a package of gum, popping a piece between her lips with the same shaking frenzy I'd noticed when she'd first gotten with my dad and quit smoking. Her eyes strayed back to mine, that same wild green as Florian's.
“How long?” she asked, ignoring my outburst.
“Not long,” Flor said, but River wasn't looking at him.
Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance Page 49