Complete Me

by Kristen Strassel

  “We’re not done!” Shadow motioned for everyone to settle from their cheering. “Shea and Delaney, come over here.” Gasps turned to more cheers.

  Shadow repeated the vows. “Shea, do you promise Delaney forever?”

  “Fuck yes.”

  “Delaney, do you promise Shea forever.”

  Delaney squeezed Shea’s hands, and she bit her lip. “I…I do.” It was so soft, if I hadn’t been standing next to her I might have missed it.

  Shea squeezed her against himself in a hug, rocking her back and forth. Holy shit. Delaney spoke! At the absolute most perfect time.

  “Xavier and Chandra, come on over.”

  X was blurry. All the emotion I’d kept buried inside of me my whole life rushed to the surface. I’d been an outcast, a secret, and I’d felt like an embarrassment. For too long, I was ashamed of what made me me. The animal inside me made me strong. I’d been afraid to come to Sawtooth, because I wasn’t sure I deserved this kind of happiness.

  Who was I kidding, I hadn’t even known it was possible.

  I wouldn’t change a thing. I knew how precious this ceremony was. So many people lived their whole lives without a day like this. Like Cass said, I never wanted to forget this feeling. I would fight for it every single day.

  X squeezed my hands, and I didn’t hear a word Shadow said. Nobody else existed but the two of us.

  “I do,” X said, snapping me back to reality.

  “Chandra, do you promise Xavier forever?”

  Forever didn’t seem like enough. “I do.”

  Epilogue

  Seven months later

  Chandra

  Mayor Shadow Channing wasn’t that different than Alpha Shadow Channing. Pack always came first. He’d come to the ribbon cutting ceremony in jeans and a button-down plaid shirt, wiping sweat from his brow. The late September sun showed Sawtooth Forest no mercy.

  A bigger group than I expected assembled in front of the Channing Reserve’s newest building that day. The Channings built me a cottage more beautiful than I could’ve imagined. The first thing X told me about the medical offices in town was that they were sterile and cookie cutter. The pack spent enough time on the fringe, a part of society but not really belonging, either. I wanted to create a place they felt comfortable coming to when I was asking the most private questions, and taking care of their health. I knew we had a lot of work to do, and I wanted the forest to look forward to it as much as I did.

  “The Channing Reserve is a place of rebirth, and today we have something else to celebrate. The Aldo Memorial Medical Center will serve all veterinary and alternative medical needs of the forest,” Shadow said.

  “Don’t be like that, Shadow. Say what it is. Wolf medicine!” Shea called out from the crowd.

  “Yeah, Shea, wolf medicine. I wanted to give the paper a quote that wouldn’t give the humans a heart attack.” Shadow laughed. “Dr. Chandra Lowe comes to us from Atlanta, but she understands the unique needs of Sawtooth Forest, because she’s one of us. A wolf. She’ll work with the community to serve our needs and keep us healthy for generations to come.”

  A baby cried out from the crowd. Kiera rocked Thomas on her shoulder. He was already three months old. Born healthy and beautiful, the worst thing we wound up dealing with during the pregnancy was Kiera’s blood pressure. She shielded him from the sun, so I couldn’t tell if the comment came from him or Lilly, Cass and Major’s new baby. She was born a couple weeks after Tommy, and we were already placing bets on the first Channing-Lowe love connection.

  So much for not choosing mates for our children. We wouldn’t force them, of course. We’d just root really hard for nature to take its course.

  Once Kiera announced she was pregnant, all the Channings and the Lowes caught baby fever. Something was in the water in Sawtooth Forest, and baby bumps were the new black. Mine barely showed yet. Lyssie had just ordered a bunch of maternity tops, and she wore one today, her hand resting on her swollen stomach. I’d like to think all the humans waited to see if my theory was right, that true mates were determined by love, not species, but math called me a liar. So far we hadn’t run into any major problems, I monitored everyone’s blood pressure and temperature closely, watching for any warning signs. We joked that Delaney would give birth to a baby bigger than her. She couldn’t work at the Reserve anymore, and I was close to putting her on bedrest. I wasn’t taking any chances.

  Someone would need to open a daycare in the spot next to my office.

  “Dr. Lowe, come on up and say something before we open this place for business!”

  I closed my eyes, riding the wave of nausea before joining Shadow. Didn’t want the picture on the paper’s website to be of me puking on the mayor’s cowboy boots.

  X squeezed my hand. “I’m so proud of you.”

  There wasn’t a stage, just a ribbon in front of the door. Even that was more than I’d wanted. I would’ve been thrilled with cupcakes, but Sawtooth Forest was overdue for celebrations of any kind.

  “First of all, thank you to everyone who’s welcomed me here with open arms. Christmas will mark my one year anniversary in Sawtooth Forest. It was a medical emergency that brought me to the packs. In tragedy comes new beginnings. It’s hard to see it when it’s happening, but it’s true. You’ve all made this my home. Thank you so much for coming out for the grand opening! I usually have to trick my patients into coming to see me with treats. I can’t wait to show you the new office. We have state of the art equipment and a lab so we can analyze tests on site for your confidentiality. Come in and take a look, because I hope you all only have a need for my wellness services.”

  The crowd applauded, and Trina grabbed Shadow’s arm, hard. “Cut the ribbon. Now,” she commanded through gritted teeth. “My water just broke.”

  “Holy shit.” Shadow scooped her up and turned to me. “Open the door.”

  “Someone else can cut the ribbon!” I called over my shoulder, racing ahead of Shadow and Trina. It was more like a quick waddle. I held onto my belly, the baby inside me feeling much bigger than he actually was. Everything had been laid out for the walk-through that wasn’t happening now, and all I had to do was switch on the lights in the birthing room and get Trina as comfortable as possible.

  “Sorry,” Trina said when Shadow laid her on the table.

  “You’re kidding me. Why are you apologizing?” I handed her a gown, taking her clothes from her as she stripped out of them. Protocol went out the window when one of your best friends depended on you to deliver her a happy, healthy baby. “You got me out of that awkward speech. I should be thanking you.”

  “Shadow loves speeches now that he’s mayor.” Trina nudged him, but then grabbed his arm, twisting it as a contraction ripped through her. She gritted her teeth but didn’t scream. “That was a good one. I’m sorry for making you run. That had to hurt like hell.”

  “I may never catch my breath.” I put on my coat, washed and sanitized my hands, and put on gloves. One of the nurses I hired burst into the room, ready to go. “She had a contraction at twelve forty-six. Trina, do you want an epidural? You have to decide right now.”

  Tommy and Lilly taught me that werewolf babies meant business. Neither of their mammas suffered through a long labor. Trina gasped, still hanging on to Shadow, and I worried we might already be too late. I hadn’t had a chance to see how far she was dilated yet. “Something tells me I’m gonna regret this, but no. I’ll try to do it naturally.”

  “Take the drugs,” Shadow said. “If the contractions feel anything like my arm does right now, take the drugs.”

  She glared at him. “I’ll rip it off and beat you with it.” She squirmed in the stirrups. “Sorry, baby. Maybe I should have it.”

  “Too late. She’s coming.” I still didn’t have much experience with human patients, but I hated telling her no. “The good thing is, it won’t be long. You’re ready to go.”

  “Get the girls,” Trina grunted. “I want them in here.”

&nb
sp; Shadow gathered the troops. Kiera, Lyssie, Cass, Delaney, and Mrs. Channing filled the room. Cass and Kiera helped Trina get more comfortable, explaining to her how to push. Lyssie and Delaney, next up at bat, grimaced every time Trina cried out with a contraction. Mrs. Channing cheered her on, tears of happiness streaming down her face. We all tried to distract Trina between the waves of pain. I kept an eye on her vitals. Much like Dr. Aldo, we were still working on faith and theory. There was no science to back up my claim that the wolves didn’t have to mate with wolves, just their true love. Trina’s stats had remained steady throughout her pregnancy, but I remained cautiously optimistic.

  “Let’s take bets. Who do you think the she’s going to look like?” Kiera called out. Thanks to my new ultrasound equipment, we knew what to expect. Trina was having a girl.

  “She’s got to have the Channing blue eyes,” Lyssie said, a dreamy smile on her face. “But I think she’ll be light-haired like Trina.”

  “She’ll be beautiful,” Delaney said. It wasn’t such a shock anymore when she talked. She’d started with just a word or two, every so often, but worked up to having full conversations.

  Trina screamed, twisting Shadow’s and Kiera’s hands.

  “She’s crowning!” I called out, my hands shaking just like they did every time I helped one of these incredible women do the thing they never thought they’d be able to. “Keep pushing, Trina. Yell as loud as you need to, she’s almost here.”

  Natasha Channing came into the world screaming just as loud as her mama. I wouldn’t have expected anything else from a Channing. She had her father’s fight and his blue eyes. At first glance, she was perfect, healthy, and beautiful.

  Handing the baby to her mama would forever be my favorite part of this job.

  “Hi,” Trina managed before the tears came. Shadow stared at Natasha in awe.

  “Do you want us to go?” Lyssie asked.

  Trina shook her head. “No. Stay. Please.” She took a deep breath. “She’s so beautiful. I never, ever thought I’d be someone’s mom.”

  That was it, everyone was bawling. I took Natasha from Trina only long enough to clean her up and swaddle her. My nurse cleaned up Trina, who wouldn’t let anyone leave the room. The guys came in to meet Natasha. She needed to get used to this bunch of loud, wonderful wolves who’d do anything to make sure she was safe and happy.

  “I felt the same way,” I said, pushing a piece of hair out of Trina’s face. She didn’t notice, she couldn’t take her eyes off her daughter. Later I’d give her my gift, a new copy of the book that brought me here, A Sawtooth Wolf Finds Her Mate. “As soon as I met all of you, my life changed. We were brought together for a reason.”

  “I agree,” Lyssie said softly, with Dallas’ arms wrapped around her. “You can choose your family. And I can’t think of any better one than ours.”

  The End

  Thank you!

  I hope you loved the Sawtooth Shifters series as much as I loved writing it! I never expected to take this journey with these characters, and when I typed the end, I burst into tears. All of these characters have become a part of my life in a way I never expected. In Granger Falls, I created a place that I wanted to live. Minus Ryker and Ember, of course. But like Kiera said in Protect Me, if there was really a forest full of hot werewolves somewhere…don’t mind me while I pack my bags.

  Thanks to all of you! I’ve received the loveliest emails and messages from some of you—laughing and crying with and routing for these characters. They always show up exactly when I need them the most. It means the world to me that these characters touched you enough to keep reading seven books, and to care enough to insist everyone lived happily ever after. Aah! I’m going to cry again.

  I hope you all find your happily ever after.

  xx

  Kristen

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  Here’s the place where I’d usually put the first chapter of the next Sawtooth book, and it’s so weird that there isn’t one. How do you feel about vampires? Las Vegas? Cirque shows? Keep reading to find chapter one of The Fire Dancer, which is book one of my Cirque Macabre series. If you’ve read The Night Songs collection, Cirque Macabre is a spin-off of that, but can be read on its own.

  The Fire Dancer

  The crowd gasped as Katrinka tumbled from the sky, only supported by the silks she wrapped herself in. That was my cue.

  Compared to Katrinka, I was a chicken shit. She twisted herself in fabric high above the crowd, relying on nothing but her strength and grace to keep her whole. I just had to rely on my brain short circuiting.

  The lights fell so the crew could clear Katrinka’s set. The crowd erupted in a chant. For me.

  “Holly! Holly! Holly!”

  It hardly seemed fair.

  My heart thrummed in my throat. I had to close my eyes and swallow hard to keep the emotions at bay.

  Just a few minutes longer.

  A piece of me was starting to want this; the cheers, the crowd, and that scared me more than what I was about to do.

  “Ladies and Gentlemen!” the emcee boomed. “Please welcome the hottest girl in Sin City...Holly Octane!”

  I walked slowly to the beat of She’s Gone by The Black Keys as a dim spotlight trained on me. A fire bloomed like a flower, waiting for me in the middle of the ring. My costume shielded me from the crowd. I couldn’t expose much skin. Yet. Bad things could happen. I had no room for error, just like Katrinka.

  But if I screwed up, everyone got hurt.

  Tipping my top hat to the audience, I circled the fire, then dropped my cropped black blazer. The slow beat of the song was exaggerated by the bustle skirt attached to my blood red corset as I grinded my hips in time to the music. Tossing the hat to the crowd, then running my hands down the length of my fishnet clad thighs, I concentrated on the crackle of the fire.

  I plucked the batons from the fire like any other girl would take a rose from a garden.

  The burn was my favorite part.

  I maneuvered the batons slowly through my fingers. Flames surrounded me as I twirled them over my head and underneath my raised leg. The song ended, and I threw the sticks high in the air, the fire illuminating the audience. Their faces flashed against my soul, scarring it. Fireworks exploded in my brain, and I ripped open the front of my corset, whipping it around over my head, the batons falling in the dirt at my feet. The corset kicked up a cloud of soot as it skidded away from me.

  Now just in glittery star pasties, sparkly booty shorts, and fishnets, I dropped to my knees and crawled toward the fire where one more baton waited for me to pluck it from the flames. The crowd knew what happened next. I rolled back on my heels and rose to my feet. As Paul Stanley wailed the opening of Heaven’s On Fire, I swallowed the flame.

  The theater fell dark as the song kicked in to full gear. Fire coursed through my body, flooding my belly and tingling my limbs. I opened my eyes; with the fire inside me, I could see as if someone switched on an overhead light. This was the first time I let myself look at the crowd each night. They gaped at me, lust in the eyes of some, and disgust in the eyes of others.

  Good girls didn’t eat fire.

  Every night I saw the same faces. Ugly, twisted, taunting faces. Judging me. Calling me a freak. They were right. And I loved it. They’d never forget me.

  Good girls didn’t burst into flames.

  Fire dripped from every pore, surrounding me like a cocoon. This is where I felt safe. No one could reach me here. I raised my arms over my head and catapulted myself into a forward flip through the air. The crowd erupted in cheers. I jumped on the metal pole that held up the mock tent, swinging my legs in midair as my hands slipped around it. I shimmied up to the top, then slid back down into a full spilt. The flames exaggerated my every move. Coming back to my feet, I put one leg back on the pole, circling it until I landed o
n the floor in another split.

  I rose, my back to the pole, the flames licking the metal. It took three cartwheels to make it to the chemical shower. The lights went down as the song ended so the crowd wouldn’t see my body, exposed. No fabric could survive my act. No human could survive my act. Foam rained down on me, and the only fire that remained was in the audience’s memory.

  Silence ushered in the intermission every time.

  I didn’t like to talk to anyone right after I performed. Emotions conjured my flames. I saw things I shouldn’t. Things I didn’t want to. The same things over and over. It was a vicious cycle I didn’t know how to stop. It brought me to a place that was raw and unfiltered, and I needed to be alone until I could get my thoughts in order.

  Darkness greeted me in my dressing room. I never turned the light on right away. Instead I always leaned against the door and listened to my heart throb against my eardrums.

  Let it drain, Holly.

  “Bravo.” A male voice startled me in the dark. My eyes flew open. No. Not again.

  One person applauded. Was there more than one of them? Heat rose inside of me. Not now, not here. Too dangerous. I squeezed my eyes closed to tamp down the fear. The flames.

  When I could move again, I wiped my hand against the wall looking for the light switch. My eyes widened when I found Cash Logan in my dressing room.

  He laughed when he saw my expression. He liked scaring people, and he definitely liked scaring me. It was too soon for company, screams and cries swirled around him. I saw his scars, the ones that ran down into his beard; even a glimpse of the story caused me pain. Time had made them faint, a human eye might have missed them.

  Moving around the room, Cash ran his finger over the clothes I’d laid on the back of my chair to change into. He left no marks, but now they were dirty. I shuddered. The most powerful magician in the world had paid me a visit, and was now violating my things. He might as well have put his grubby fingers right on my soul.