Damaged (Damaged Series Book 1)

by J. Benson

  Taylor frowned. "I thought you didn't care what other people think."

  "I don't." I replied. "But I have another nine months left at this school. And I would just like to get through it while staying under the radar... The entire school gossiping and talking about me behind my back... I really don't need any more drama."

  "Okay, so then you just want to be friends until things blow over..." He seemed hurt.

  His interpretation stung slightly.

  "Well... not exactly..." I began awkwardly. "I meant that maybe we could just pretend to be friends for a few days.... You know, until everything kind of blows over and then we can...." I trailed off, coming to the sudden realization that I sounded like a complete fool. Instead of getting ready, I should have been preparing for this conversation.

  "So, you mean, we could be like... secret lovers?" He raised one eyebrow.

  Before I could resist, I was laughing. I covered my mouth with one hand to censor myself. "Sorry." I mumbled, trying to suppress my laughter. "Just the way you put it... you make it sound like a bad Harlequin Romance novel or something."

  We both stopped walking and I realized suddenly we were standing outside our English classroom. I had been so focused on not completely messing up our conversation that I had lost track of where we were.

  "You're really okay with all of this? You're not... mad or anything?" I asked awkwardly.

  "No. I mean, we'll know the truth. That's all that matters, right? And I'll still get to see you and we can hang out if we're friends. I can wait until we're alone to hold your hand and kiss you." He reached out and lightly tugged on the end of my braid. "And I mean, I get it. High school is brutal. If we start walking around this place holding hands and kissing, it's just going to bring an awful lot of bullshit from Paige and her friends. And honestly, it'll mostly fall on your shoulders. Because that's how pathetic and petty those girls are."

  I smiled. "Come here, then." I grasped his hand and pulled him into the empty classroom. I threw my arms around his shoulders and kissed him lightly on the lips.

  He grinned down at me, his arms finding their way around my waist. "See? I could definitely get used to this." He leaned toward me to kiss me again, but I avoided him playfully, smiling hugely.

  "Don't get too used to it." I teased, stepping out of his arms and finding my seat. I sat down just in time, three more students filtered through the door.

  Taylor winked at me, and set my books down on the corner of my desk. But instead of taking his usual seat at the back of the class, he sat down right next to me at the desk just across the aisle. Since I sat at the front of the class, the seat beside me was empty.

  "What are you doing?" I asked, whispering across the aisle.

  "Being your friend." He grinned at me. "Friends sit together." He shrugged.

  I shook my head. "You're crazy." I informed him.

  Taylor smirked. "What, it's not weird or anything. I'm sure no one will think twice about the fact that I'm suddenly sitting up front with the new girl in school." He shrugged. I couldn't help but notice the hint of sarcasm in his voice; whether it was intentional or not.

  Before long, more students came through the door, very quickly filling the remaining desks. I turned to my book as usual, but occasionally I could feel Taylor's eyes on me, which made it very difficult to concentrate. I read the same paragraph at least five times.

  Mrs. North came into the class room as noisily as always, her clogs were dragging on the weathered linoleum loudly. Her glasses were sliding down her nose, and her usual stacks of books were tumbling out of her arms. I noticed today that her hair was coming out of the pony-tail in several strands which were sticking straight up and her white shirt had a large coffee stain on it: one that matched the stain on her tweed pants. I rolled my eyes.

  Thankfully, as soon as the bell rang, she wasted no time starting her lecture, and turned to write some literary terms and definitions on the chalkboard in her messy, child-like script. I wrote the date on a new sheet of paper in my notebook and began copying the terms down.

  "Hey," Taylor whispered across the aisle at me. I jumped in alarm and gaped at him in disbelief for a moment.

  I glanced up at Mrs. North, who was writing on the chalk board with her back to us. She seemed oblivious. I turned to Taylor and smiled, whispering "What?" with more subtlety than he had shown.

  "Do you have a pen I can borrow?" He whispered, grinning.

  I laughed softly and shook my head slowly from side to side. "You have a pencil in your hand!" I pointed out.

  Taylor glanced back at his right hand as if he had forgotten that it was curled around a yellow pencil. Then he returned his gaze to me. "Sorry, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you."

  I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could say anything, Mrs. North spun around and glared accusingly at Taylor. "Mr. Green," She scolded, sharply. "Leave Miss Hatfield alone. I'm sure she isn't interested in being bothered!" She snapped.

  I pursed my lips tightly, and tried not to burst into laughter as the rest of the class hooted and made suggestive comments. I felt my face turn a slight shade of red.

  Taylor's cheeks were flushed with bright pink, which made it even harder not to laugh. He glanced back toward me and I pursed my lips, trying hard not to laugh at him. He looked adorable blushing with embarrassment. He smirked at me, and I couldn't help it. I laughed softly.

  Once Mrs. North was thoroughly distracted again, Taylor leaned toward me again. "Do you have plans for lunch?" He whispered.

  I raised one eyebrow at him. "Seriously? You're going to get us both in trouble." I warned.

  "I'll take full responsibility. I promise." He said with a smirk.

  I shook my head in disbelief. "Talk to me at lunch. You're not dragging me down with you..." I replied softly, smiling broadly.

  Taylor grinned back at me and turned back toward the chalkboard and the definitions the teacher was dutifully writing out. I found myself staring at him for several moments, before I shook my head and attempted to focus my attention back to my English class. I noticed that I was several definitions behind the teacher, and struggled to quickly catch up.

  Chapter 26:

  A Semi-second Date

  At lunch time, I was standing by my locker and removing the contents of my lunch with disgust. I left my sandwich in the brown paper bag. It looked as though the peanut butter had gone funny anyway, and the jam had soaked through the bread. Instead I removed my diet coke and an apple and sat down on the floor with my book.

  I was halfway through the page when I felt a small gust of wind beside me.

  "Hey," Taylor's voice greeted me.

  I looked up at smiled. "What are you doing here?"

  "I came to eat lunch with you." He announced. "You know, as friends. Friends can eat lunch together." He clarified.

  "Where's your lunch?"

  "Um... in the cafeteria." He chuckled. "You can't really bring it out here... Or at least you're not supposed to."

  "Okay, then let’s go in there then..." I urged. I wanted to be with him, even if it was sitting across from him in a crowded cafeteria.

  "But I thought you didn't like hospital food." He questioned.

  "I don't." I replied. "But I can sit with you... I think."

  He pondered this for a moment. "You know what? I have a better idea." He was on his feet in a second, and reaching down for my hands.

  "What?" I asked in confusion, but willingly surrendered my hands. He hoisted me to my feet with surprising ease. "Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

  "You'll see." He grinned. "Come on."

  "Will I need my purse?"

  "Nope." He answered immediately.

  "Will I need my car keys?"

  "Nope, it’s walking distance." He smiled.

  I stuffed my book inside and closed my locker. I hung the lock back on the handle and clicked the lock shut. "Alright, let’s go."

  I followed him silently toward the back entrance of the sch
ool. I was a step behind him, but people still stopped what they were doing to look at me in the halls.

  I felt myself blush. It was like I didn't belong in the same airspace as him and everyone around me knew it. I was simply oblivious to that fact. I toyed anxiously with the end of my braid. I chewed my lower lip and wrapped my arms around myself, pressing my hands into fists on my ribcage until my ribs ached.

  Taylor paused to hold the door for me.

  "What's wrong?" He asked as we walked down a steep grassy knoll at the back of the building. Several students had gathered to smoke there. I doubted they were all smoking cigarettes. I could strongly detect the odor of marijuana.

  "Nothing." I forced a smile, trying to subtly wave away a cloud of gathering cigarette smoke.

  "You're chewing your lips. That means something is up." He pointed out.

  I immediately released my lip from between my teeth. He was a little too perceptive at times. "Nothing." I forced a polite smile. "Where are we going exactly?"

  "Right here." He pointed to a dense forest behind the school.

  "We're hiking?" I glanced down at my shoes, which were not proper hiking attire. I wasn't one for high heels, but even my practical ballet flats didn't seem practical enough for a hike through the woods.

  "Not really, there's a trail." He smiled. "It's not that far." He promised.

  I nodded. "Okay." I was suddenly aware that I was trusting him a little too much. Probably more than I should trust him.

  He easily found the trail, as if he came this way all the time, and I followed a step behind him through the narrow pathway. The trees were so thick; I couldn't see anything other than trees and underbrush. I hardly even saw the fallen tree before I tripped over it.

  "Whoops." Taylor smiled. He easily hopped over the fallen tree, and took my arm. He effortlessly helped me climb over the tree.

  "Are you sure it’s not far?" The trail twisted ahead and I couldn't see any light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

  "It's just up here." He informed me. His hand moved suddenly and captured my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine.

  "Taylor..." I whispered with a smile. I wasn't entirely scolding him, though I should have been.

  "What?" He chuckled, smiling at me. "There's no one around... No one is going to see us. I promise. And if anyone does, we'll kill them and bury them in the woods. No one will ever find the body, trust me."

  "You sound like you've done this before." I teased.

  "Oh, absolutely." He smirked. "Many of my enemies are buried in these woods."

  I laughed, shaking my head. I couldn't argue with that logic, but I couldn't suppress a smile either. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

  At last we came to the end of the trail, and as promised, he released my hand to ensure that no one saw. There were several other students congregating around a brick and cement building, with a large red door out front. The windows were made to look as though they were leaded, and divided into eight squares. On this side of the building, there wasn't a name or any form of advertising; from the outside I couldn't tell what the building was.

  "We're here." Taylor announced, and in several long strides, we crossed the parking lot, and he held the door for me again.

  Once inside, I stopped. "It's a restaurant." I stated obviously. There was a hint of disbelief in my voice that I hoped kept me from looking like a complete idiot.

  "Yeah." Taylor said, approaching the line of students waiting to place their orders. The restaurant was dimly lit, and filled with students, some of which I recognized from school.

  "You said I wouldn't need my purse... I... I don't have any cash on me." I replied.

  "So let me treat you today." He shrugged.

  "Taylor..." I began doubtfully.

  "Tomorrow you can treat, okay? If it will make you feel better." He offered, his blue eyes somehow smiling at me.

  I nodded slowly and followed him to the line. I had a distinct feeling that he planned this. He had deliberately told me to leave my purse and my wallet behind. He made sure I wouldn't have money on me, strictly so he could be the one to pay.

  "So what do you want to eat?" He asked.

  "Um... I'm not hungry, actually. Maybe just a diet soda?" I replied, although I could hear the hesitation in my own voice.

  He cocked one eyebrow at me. "Come on, order some real food."

  "Taylor," I whispered. "I will pay you back for this." I warned, trying to sound threatening.

  He shrugged. "We'll see about that." He added with a grin.

  I narrowed my eyes. "Fine, just a diet soda then." I lifted my chin confidently.

  Taylor chuckled. "Fine, then I'll order for you. Hope your stomach can handle large amounts of food..."

  My jaw dropped in disbelief. "You can be very obnoxious, you know that?"

  "So I hear. And so you've told me. Actually, more than once I believe..." He winked at me.

  I was still trying to stare him down as we approached the counter and Taylor was next to place his order.

  "Last chance." He smiled at me coyly.

  I panicked slightly. The last thing I wanted was for him to spend a vast amount of money on me, especially when it was too much food for me to possibly eat on my own. "Small order of fries..." I admitted quietly. "Just a small one."

  He relayed my order to the woman at the cash register before he instructed me to find a table.

  I turned to face the booths and high tables, which were already populated with students. I barely recognized them, but some were looking at me with such intensity, I felt like I was standing naked in front of the entire school, and I'd forgotten my homework.

  I tried to find a booth that was somewhat private, but was quickly running out of options. Instead, I found a booth near a window and sat down to wait patiently. Or at least I tried to wait patiently. I tapped my fingers anxiously on the table in front of me.

  By the time Taylor found me, my knee was bouncing nervously and I was dangerously close from leaping out the window and making a run for it. He slid across from me at the table and slid the tray between us.

  "You okay? You look a little pale." He mused.

  I leaned toward him across the table so I could drop my voice to a level only he could hear. "People are looking at us."

  He glanced around casually. "So? Let them look. We aren't doing anything illegal." He shrugged. "Just two friends eating lunch. That's not suspicious at all. Trust me."

  I bit my lower lip and glanced around anxiously.

  "Don't chew your lip off." Taylor scolded. "Just ignore it. They're probably just realizing how pretty you are..."

  I glared at him, narrowing my eyes. "That was such a line!" My cheeks turned soft pink anyway.

  He laughed lightly. "Alright, so maybe it was a line. But it's true." He placed my small order of fries in front of me and a diet soda next to the fries.

  I glanced at his tray, which was overflowing with food. "You're going to eat all of that?"

  "Yeah..." He shrugged, but added "Unless you want some. I can share... I mean, I'll probably be hungry in like half an hour anyway..."

  "No thank you." I smiled.

  Neither of us spoke for a moment, and the table fell into a complete and slightly awkward silence. The remainder of the restaurant noise seemed to fall into a gentle din. I gained some confidence when it felt like people weren't looking at me as much, and I nibbled on a French fry.

  "This is actually not bad... it's better than I would have thought it would be..." I admitted.

  Taylor swallowed a bite of his hamburger.

  "You didn't have places like this in New York?" He asked.

  "We did... but my parents lived in kind of an upscale neighborhood. I think there was a fast food restaurant about a block from the school, but no one ever ate there. We were all kind of snobs I guess..."

  Taylor smirked at that. "Did you have a lot of friends in your old school?"

  "I did. I had plenty of friends..." I began carefu
lly. This was kind of a touchy subject for me. "But I started to lose touch with them all as my dad got sicker... he didn't want people to know, and I was forced into secrecy, so I kind of distanced myself from my friends. And the ones I couldn't avoid felt like I was hiding something and abandoned me." I spoke in a rushed tone. It was getting a little too easy to be honest with him now.

  My eyes flickered to his, which were crystal blue and studying me carefully.

  "I'm sorry to hear that..." He murmured.

  "Its fine... its ancient history." I concluded. "I guess they weren't really friends anyway."

  "What if you tried to reconnect with them now? I mean, would they be different knowing what they know now? I mean, would they forgive your behavior and be your friend again?"

  I shook my head slowly, trying to keep the tears from stinging in my eyes. "I'm not the same person I was before all this happened.... I... I don't really know who I am anymore... I just know that the version of me who was friends with those girls isn't who I am anymore."

  "You're still you, Emma." He concluded. "You've just been through something you should never have to go through. Anyone who is a real friend would see past that and understand that everything you've been through has changed you. It's made you a better and stronger person."

  I laughed dryly. "Right. You don't think it says anything about my character that the people I love keep leaving me?" I had meant it as a joke, but my voice choked and betrayed me.

  "I'll never leave you." He promised.

  "Let's talk about something else." I urged immediately. "Anything else."

  "Okay..." He paused. "What are you doing tonight?"

  "Nothing." I answered immediately. As an afterthought, I added. "I do have some math homework to work on... stuff that I completely don't understand."

  "Can I come over tonight then? We can hang out. And I can help you with your math homework. I'm pretty good at math... I think."