by J. Benson
I had started off sitting in my car where it was warm. However, soon I started to feel claustrophobic and found myself scrambling from the driver's seat and pacing in the empty space next to my car.
Students were beginning to file into the parking lot, and head lazily in the direction of the school. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice me.
Taylor seemed to be running late.
I sighed, and when I saw the cloud of fog coming from my lips, I finally realized how cold it was outside. I was just about ready to follow the other students into the school by myself, but the thought was quickly interrupted by a black car skidding into the space next to my car.
I jumped out of the way and pressed my back against my car. I folded my arms around myself to keep warm. Now that I was no longer pacing, I was realizing exactly how cold it was outside.
"Emma, I'm so sorry." Taylor said, climbing out of the driver's seat. "My brother beat me in the shower this morning, and he takes forever in there! I mean, I don't know what the boy does in there--I probably don't want to know--or maybe he was just doing it to piss me off, but it threw off my whole morning when I couldn't get in the shower first." He rambled as he sauntered around the hood of his car and came to my side. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay... you're only a couple of minutes late." I smiled. Seeing him, I couldn't possibly be mad at him. I had other things to worry about, now. At the top of my list of worries was the fact that in mere seconds the entire school would be looking at me.
"I really am sorry." He mumbled. His arms circled my waist--even in my bulky jacket--and pulled me closer.
I looked down to avoid his impending kiss. It took every ounce of strength I had.
"They're going to find out anyway, in a few minutes..." He mumbled, placing a kiss on my forehead.
I nodded. "You're right... let’s just get this over with, shall we?"
He laughed. "Show some enthusiasm!" He teased.
His arm remained around my waist, and it was the only thing that kept me from bolting in the opposite direction.
I sucked in a deep breath, and felt Taylor tense next to me. "We don't have to do this. I mean, I'm fine if no one in this school ever knows that we're seeing each other." He shrugged.
"I want to." I said through gritted teeth. "It has to happen some time." I slipped out of his arm and took his hand instead.
"Better?" He smiled.
I nodded.
"Don't worry, okay? I'm sure hardly anyone will notice." Taylor smirked.
I glared at him out of the corner of my eye.
He was wrong. I was sure that even if Taylor had tried, he couldn't possibly have been more wrong. As soon as we walked into the school, I felt every pair of eyes on us, even as we stopped at my locker and eventually his locker. My face was red from the second we walked into the building. I hugged my books tightly to my chest.
"Everyone is looking." I hissed as we made our way to the second floor toward our English class. People stopped in the hallways to stare at us, even interrupting conversations to whisper and gawk.
"So, let them!" He grinned. "They're jealous because I got to you first."
I rolled my eyes. "Right, I'm sure that's exactly why they're staring at us." I made no attempt to hide the sarcasm in my voice.
He smirked and led the way into our class room at the top of the stairs. The entire class immediately fell silent, and even the teacher turned to gape at us.
I slipped my hand out of Taylor's hand inconspicuously, as I slipped into my desk. I let my long chocolate hair cover my red face.
Taylor sat next to me in his new seat, with the biggest grin on his face. The entire class murmured loudly until the teacher called the class to order and began teaching.
I glanced toward Taylor who simply smiled at me.
I worriedly chewed at my lip. I'd never felt so embarrassed in my entire life.
As the bell rang for lunch break, I walked back toward my locker with embarrassment still not yet faded on my cheeks. During gym class, someone had actually deliberately sat next to me on the bench and asked if it was true that I was dating Taylor Green. And now, even though I wasn't anywhere near him, people were still stopping to look at me. It was just barely lunch time and already the entire school knew.
I reached my locker, and Taylor wasn't there. I knew he had music class, and assumed he had stayed late for some reason. I opened my locker and glanced at my reflection in the small mirror on the door. I was still the same person, but for some reason I wasn't invisible anymore. I was undecided if that was a good thing or not.
A high pitched voice behind be cleared their throat and I spun around in shock at the proximity.
Standing behind me were Paige's two best friends: whom I recognized immediately even without their pack-leader. Nissa and Britney were two more perfectly perky bottle blondes who rarely left Paige's side. But Paige was nowhere to be seen. I felt fear and anxiety well up in my throat, but I forced it down.
"Yeah?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest defensively.
"Is it true you're dating Taylor Green?" Britney blurted out.
I sighed. "Yes. Run along and tell Paige now." I turned back to my locker to reach for my newly purchased copy of Bram Stoker's "Dracula" which I knew we would be reading in class eventually.
"Are you going to the dance with him?" Britney asked, she sounded like a dumb valley girl, who didn't have a brain in her head to tell her that the questions she was asking were none of her business.
"I don't know yet." I lied with my back to them. I assumed that there was no need to give out too much information in one day.
"You have to go!" Nissa spoke urgently, causing me to turn. "You're dating the most popular guy in school!" She paused and added "And the best looking..." This girl sounded like a spoiled rich kid. And I was somewhat of an expert on spoiled rich kids—though I would never consider myself one.
Britney nudged her friend roughly. "Paige isn't going to like this..." she warned.
"I don't care." I rolled my eyes. "She doesn't own him. And he never liked her that much in the first place. In fact, he told me he thinks she's shallow and vain. Feel free to tell her that."
Nissa's eyes grew wide like I had insulted someone's mother. I hadn't said anything particularly insulting; I was more of a purveyor of truth in this conversation. I realized she must have been dumber than I had given her credit for.
Britney scowled at me and stomped off with Nissa in tow.
Taylor appeared from the crowd with a confused expression on his face. "I see you've had an altercation with tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb-ass. What was that all about?" He asked, having caught the end of the conversation.
I shook my head, "Bitches!" I cursed.
He laughed heartily. "Glad someone with some sense around here! I mean, most people here think they're royalty. I know some guys who will do anything to get those girls to even look at them. I keep trying to explain to them that they're dumber than a bag of rocks, but no one listens."
I sighed. "Paige must have sent them to find out what's going on. They were asking questions about you and me. One of them asked if we were doing to the dance. I didn't know what to tell them, so I said I didn't know..." I sighed heavily.
"Ah..." He smirked. He moved his arm around my shoulders. "Well, what do you say to eating in the cafeteria today?"I nodded. "As long as I don't have to eat the food." I wrinkled my nose.
He smiled. "Of course not."
I removed a can of diet soda from my locker and reluctantly placed my book back inside. I closed my locker and followed him into the cafeteria. It was busy and packed full of students, but thankfully fewer people were turning to stare. In comparison to the entire school turning to look at us, only half of the cafeteria turned to stare.
I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
In order to follow Taylor through the cafeteria and in through the line for food, I had to clutch his hand tightly and let him drag me through the bodies of other students as
they gathered to talk. I tried to block out their whispers and comments, and to be completely honest, it was starting to get a little bit easier to ignore the stares and gossip.
Taylor quickly managed to collect enough food to feed a small army, so I was only subjected to the smell for a few short minutes. He carried his tray out of the galley kitchen and balanced it with one hand. He caught my hand in his, almost as if he was proud to show me off and start further rumors.
We were making our way to an empty table when someone called out over the din of the cafeteria, "Yo, Tay!"
I couldn't see where the voice was coming from, but Taylor waved.
"Sit with us!" Another male voice shouted.
Taylor glanced at me as if to ask permission.
I nodded, "They're your friends..." I murmured. "I'll go back to my locker..." I turned, but was immediately whirled back around. He was already dragging me toward his friends' table.
"They'll love you, I promise." He smiled reassuringly. I couldn't argue with a smile like that.
I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't seem to find any words to say. I knew I had a valid argument somewhere, but I couldn't seem to find it.
"Don't worry about it, they're not that bad. I mean, some of my friends are kind of weird, but they're nice people. And if you want, we can leave." He said quickly.
I drew in a deep breath and held it tightly in my lungs.
He put his tray down on one of two tables pushed together. The tables were already crowded, but we managed to find room. I slid my chair closer to Taylor's. I recognized his friend Matt on my other side, and remembered the day he had unsuccessfully asked me out. I had trouble looking at him.
I played with my can of diet coke as the people around me talked. I remained silent, and felt once again invisible, relishing in the feeling. If I shut everyone out I couldn't possibly get hurt.
"So, Emma. Where are you from again?" A girl with long black hair asked.
"Umm... New York." I replied awkwardly. "I just moved here in September."
"Shut up!" The girl said sharply.
I blinked at her in disbelief. This seemed like kind of a rude response to my answer and I grew up in New York.
"New York City?" She demanded. "How awesome is that?! Wow, this must be a huge let down, huh? New York is so glamorous! Did you know any famous people?"
"Umm... I went to school with the mayor's son. And I lived on the same block as Herman Melville’s great, great granddaughter."
She looked at me with confusion.
"He wrote 'Moby Dick'." I supplied, glancing toward Taylor for help.
"Oh." She still seemed lost. Taylor snickered beside me.
"You know, you have really pretty skin." The girl continued as if the previous conversation hadn't occurred.
"Err... thanks..." I was slightly taken off guard by the comment. I wasn't entirely sure if this was something I should take as a compliment or if I should be oddly weirded out by her statement.
The boy beside her started to laugh. "What an odd thing to say to someone."
"Shut up, Derek!" She flirted, playfully shoving him.
The only other girl at the table rolled her eyes and leaned forward. "I'm Lisa." She said, placing a hand on her chest. "I think we have math together."
"Right," I nodded. I remembered her, but couldn't place her name.
I glanced at Taylor, but he was already in a conversation with the guy on the other side of him.
Including me, there were only three girls at the table. I assumed these were the only girls in the group who hadn't sided with Paige when she and Taylor split up.
"So are you guys going to the fall formal?" Lisa asked.
"I... I'm not entirely sure." I tucked my hair behind my ear awkwardly. "We haven't really talked about it yet..."
The other girl's face lit up considerably. "Have you picked out a dress yet?" She asked eagerly.
I hadn't even thought of that. If we did decide on going to the dance together, I would certainly need a dress. Which would also require shoes and a new handbag. "Umm... no. Not really..." I said slowly.
The bell rang signaling the end of lunch and I had never been so relieved to have to go to my next class. Even if that class was math. Even though math was difficult and boring, at least I wasn't forced to participate in awkward polite conversations.
I stood and Taylor followed, his arm moving around me. "See? Not so bad, was it?" He smiled. He leaned toward me and gently laid a kiss against my temple. It seemed like an awfully intimate gesture to happen in front of his friends.
I nodded, not wanting to share what I was really thinking. I was sure my heart was still racing from the awkward interrogation.
He smiled. "They like you."
"I guess all that's left is to meet your parents, right?" I asked.
Taylor's smile widened. "Yeah."
Chapter 32:
Meeting the Family
Friday came much quicker than I had hoped, nor had I ever dreamed possible. I was starting to dread Friday because it meant that I would be meeting Taylor's parents. I was completely unprepared. I could hardly handle my own parents, I wasn't sure I could handle his.
I soon found myself with standing in front of a mirror minutes before Taylor arrived, fussing with my hair in a half-ponytail. My hair was curling naturally, and hung in perfect ringlets. But I wasn't happy with it, and was growing increasingly frustrated with it.
I had chosen a simple white spring dress, even though it was out of season. I had finished it with a navy blue three-quarter length sweater and a pair of new flats that felt stiff on my feet.
I had gone looking for a dress for the impending dance, and soon found myself browsing for something to wear to impress Taylor's parents. Even with Grandma's help, deciding on this dress had taken a lot longer than I'd ever imagined.
I heard the doorbell ring and for a moment, I considered not answering the door at all. A vast part of me wanted to hide under my bed and hope that Taylor would leave without me.
But another part of me was suddenly very desperate to see Taylor.
I tripped down the stairs and pulled open the front door.
Taylor grinned at me. "You look great!" He smiled, bending to brush his cold lips across my cheek. "You know the dance is next Friday though, right?" He teased.
I sighed and glanced down at my dress. "Is it too much? Do you think I should change?"
"No," He smiled. "I'm just teasing. You really do look great. They're going to love you. You could wear old sweats and they wouldn't care. Seriously, Emma. My parents would be happy that you don't have green teeth and purple skin."
I pursed my lips together tightly. "Are you sure?"
"Positive." He smiled. "Are you ready? They can't wait to meet you."
"As ready as I'll ever be..." I grabbed my coat off the hook in the hall and followed him out into the front porch. I slipped my arms through my pea coat and shifted my hair out of the way before I fastened the buttons.
"Where's your grandmother tonight?" He asked.
"Umm... bowling. I think. It could be bingo though... It's really hard to keep track of her schedule." I mused.
"She's got a busier social life than I do." He chuckled.
I laughed, but I knew the truth. I knew that keeping herself busy was her way of getting away from the constant reminder that she had lost a son; my father. I knew that it was hard for her to be alone where she could think about the fact that her family tree was missing an entire branch.
Taylor held open the car door for me, and jogged around to the driver's side of his car. I fastened my seatbelt and played nervously with my skirt.
"Nervous?" He asked, backing from the driveway.
I nodded. "Understatement of the century... I've never done this before."
"You didn't meet the parents of your boyfriends back home?" He inquired.
"I didn't have boyfriends back home."
He chuckled. "Come on, a girl as pretty as
you? I bet you had to fend them off with a stick!"
I shook my head. "No, my dad got sick when I was fourteen, so I spent all of my free time in the hospital and taking care of him and helping around the house. I didn't have time for boys or friends or..." I sighed. I couldn't believe this kept coming up in conversation. It was getting easier to talk about this stuff around him; so easy in fact that the words and explanations came spilling out of my mouth before I even had a chance to stop it. "Shit. I'm sorry. I keep bringing this up, I'm so depressing!" I cursed myself.
"No, no! It's okay." He smiled, taking my hand. "It's your past, don't be ashamed of that. And I'm kind of glad that you finally trust me enough to talk to me about this stuff, you know? You don't have to hide from your past. Talking about it is going to make it better."
I sighed.
He pulled into his driveway, and parked the car between an army of others including a van, a truck, an SVU and another car.
Through the darkness, I could see that every light in the house was on. From the driveway, the house seemed to be glowing.
"Umm... how big is your family again?" I asked.
Taylor smiled. "Six kids, me and two adults."
"Oh gosh." I breathed. I was even less prepared for this than I thought I was.
He jogged around to the passenger side, and even though I had opened the door, he still offered his hand to help me out. He kept my hand securely in his as he led the way to the front door. It was probably a wise decision on his behalf. If he hadn't been holding my hand there would have been nothing stopping me from turning and making a run for it.
We paused out front. I sighed nervously. I chewed at my lips anxiously.
He smiled. "Don't worry about remembering everyone's names or anything. My own mother can't do it sometimes. I get called both Ethan and Seth at least ten times a day."
I smiled at that.
He leaned closer and lightly kissed my lips. I silently wished we could stay outside forever. Even if it was cold and my bare legs were frozen.
"Come on," He smiled. "Relax, they're going to love you."
I set my teeth in my lip and prepared for a disaster. Taylor opened the front door and we stepped into a house that was already far too warm, but smelled deliciously like a warm, home-cooked dinner.