by J. Benson
"Emma, that's not what I meant." He mumbled into my ear. "I was upset, I said some things I didn't mean... please forgive me."
I nodded. "I forgive you. Do you forgive me?"
"I was never mad at you." I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "I could never be mad at you!"
I sighed. "I jumped to conclusions, and I didn't give you a chance to explain what was going on." I raked my hair back out of my face. "I'm seriously screwed up. I mess up everything.
"No, no you're not screwed up." He insisted, moving to sit next to me on my bed. "We all have our baggage. I mean, trust me if I saw you talking to some other guy, I'd probably freak out too. I'd probably kill him." He added with a smirk.
"I'd never do that. I certainly wouldn't let another guy kiss me." I replied, darkly.
Taylor nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have let it happen. I wasn't thinking; she's a master manipulator." He sat back against the wall, bending his knees casually. "From now on, I won't go within ten feet of her. I promise."
I shook my head. "Let’s not talk about this anymore, okay? Let’s talk about something else." I insisted.
“Okay... how about I take you out tomorrow? On a real date... it'll get our mind off this."
I nodded. "Sure. Where are we going?"
He grinned. "You'll see."
Chapter 30:
Worth While
At the end of an incredibly long school day, I opened my locker. I was exhausted and frustrated... but a supply teacher in gym class and an insistence on playing the barbaric torture of dodge ball would do that to anyone. Paige and her group of friends had mercilessly sought me out during the game and aimed for me. The rubber ball making contact with my skin stung, but I was just as happy to be out and sit on the side lines until the next game.
The only bright shining star at the end of the proverbial tunnel was knowing that soon I was going to see Taylor. I sighed heavily and shut my locker loudly.
I jumped. Taylor had been silently leaning against the lockers next to mine, obscured by my open locker door.
"Hi." He said, grinning crookedly.
"Hi." I replied, unable to hide a smile.
"How was your day?" He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was desperately trying to keep up the "Just Friends" charade. It was hard on both of us. Some days I was sure it was harder on me not to run into his arms, especially on a long day like today.
I sighed. "Hell. Gym class. Dodge ball." I replied.
Taylor frowned. "Say no more. Your day was much worse than mine... but I think I can make it better."
I wanted to say that just having him there at that very moment was a drastic improvement to my day. But I kept my mouth shut.
"Are you doing anything tonight?" He asked, though we both knew the answer and had discussed it at length the night before.
"Nope. Nothing. Not a thing." I replied honestly, without even so much as a brief hesitation.
Taylor smirked. "Great. I have the perfect thing we can do tonight. It’s fun, it's exciting, it's romantic..." He trailed off and glanced around. "I mean, you know in a friendly sort of way." He clarified awkwardly.
I smirked. "Sounds wonderful."
"Great. I'll pick you up at your place? Half an hour?" He asked eagerly. The excitement evident on my face made me smile.
"Sure. Half an hour." I agreed.
"Great. See you then." Taylor said, stalking off down the hall. I watched him disappear into the crowd of students. I stood in a daze for a moment before his words fully sank in. Half an hour didn't give me a lot of time to get ready. And since I had no idea what to expect, getting changed would be difficult.
I rushed through the school and climbed into my car. It took me longer than usual to get out of the school parking lot, but I finally made it to my grandmother's house. I raced into the house and changed my shirt. I yanked off my t-shirt and threw on a long sleeved V-neck shirt. It was really all I had time to do before Taylor would arrive. I gave my grandmother a super quick explanation of where I was going, and even before I could finish, the doorbell was ringing.
I shoved my feet into a pair of converse sneakers. Sensible shoes seemed like the sensible choice.
I opened the door to find Taylor leaning against one of the pillars on the front porch. He looked just as handsome as ever with his aviator sun glasses perched on his nose. His hair was neat, and he had changed into a button down shirt and a fresh pair of jeans. A black leather jacket was covering his shirt. He looked handsome and sexy in the dangerous boy-next-door way of sappy romance novels.
I suddenly felt nervous and bit my lip as I shut the front door behind myself. "Umm... I don't really know where we're going, so I hope I'm dressed okay." I mumbled.
Taylor grinned, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. He moved toward me and wrapped his arms around me. He bent and lightly kissed me. A perfect, sweet kiss that made me feel lightheaded. "You're perfect." He whispered softly—so softly I wasn't sure I'd heard him. I stared up into his crystal blue eyes, entirely lost in them.
"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked, hoping my voice wasn't noticeably shaking.
Taylor grinned at me, and I forgot what I had even asked him.
"Nope." He replied. "It's a surprise. Come on, I can't wait." He took my hand and led me down the front steps and onto the front walk.
I immediately noticed that Taylor's black car was not in the driveway. Instead there was a navy blue truck parked on the street, and it was pulling some sort of trailer. I stopped in my tracks when he released my hand to open the passenger's side door for me, ever the perfect gentleman.
"Are we running away to join the circus?" I asked dubiously.
Taylor laughed. "Close. But around here we don't call it the circus. We call it family." He replied.
I let him help me into the cab, even though it was only partially necessary. I was fully capable of falling into the truck on my own.
Taylor climbed into the driver's seat and started the truck. He barely checked his mirrors before pulling away from the curb and driving down the street. "Know where we're going yet?" He asked eagerly, lowering his sunglasses over his eyes.
"I have no idea." I replied honestly. "Are you going to give me a hint?"
"You'll never guess it, not in a million years." He reached across the center console and picked up my hand. He placed a warm kiss against the palm of my hand. A sweet and comfortable gesture that made me smile warmly. Five minutes alone with him made me forget my entire terrible day.
We drove out of town until the houses became further and further apart. We finally reached a field with absolutely nothing around for miles. Taylor pulled off the road.
"Any guesses?" He asked.
"You're going to brutally beat me out here and leave me for dead?" I asked, dubiously.
Taylor frowned. "Wow, that's not even close." He pushed open the driver's side door and climbed out. He reached my side of the truck just as I was clumsily and awkwardly sliding down to my feet. His hands lingered on my waist a little longer than necessary. "Did you bring a jacket or anything?" He asked.
I shook my head. "I didn't know I was supposed to." I admitted.
"That's okay, here." He shrugged his arms out of his leather jacket and held it open for me to slip my arms into. I lifted my hair out of the way and slipped my arms through the sleeves. The jacket was huge on me, the sleeves extended down over my hands.
"Sexy." He smirked, as he zipped the jacket closed.
I rolled my eyes playfully. He squeezed my hand and moved around to the trailer and yanked the latch free. I stood well back to avoid the door. The last thing I needed was a concussion from the door hitting me in the head before our date had even officially started. Or even before I had gotten to see what the big surprise was.
Taylor climbed into the trailer, and I moved around to peer inside. Taylor began wheeling out a motorcycle, pushing it down the ramp and onto the dirt.
I ga
ped at him in disbelief and utter shock.
"Surprise!" He announced.
"No. No, no, no, no." I said, shaking my head. "I am not getting on that thing. No way. Not in a million years. Not for a million dollars." I said, folding my arms over my chest.
Taylor pouted. "Come on, Emma! It’s fun!" He protested. "You haven't even tried it yet. You have to at least try it before you dismiss it."
I swallowed thickly. "I'm not getting on a motorcycle. They're dangerous." I bit my lip to remind myself not to mention the fact that had my father not been cremated he would have been rolling over in his grave in protest.
"Okay, well you're in luck." He announced. "It's not a motorcycle. It's a dirt bike." He announced, as if that made any difference.
I gaped at him, digging my knuckles into my ribs.
Taylor sighed. "Okay, so I know it's kind of crazy, but I'm a really good driver. I want to take you somewhere, and this is the only way to get there. I promise it's safe and it'll be worth it. Come on, you can trust me."
I chewed my lip for a minute and finally nodded. "Okay. But if you kill me, I'll come back to haunt you, I swear." I said, pointing an accusing finger at him.
He grinned like a little boy who had just been given his favorite toy. He placed the bike on its kickstand and set to work closing up the trailer. He locked the truck and pocketed the keys.
He climbed onto the bike and after two tries, he managed to get it kick started. This didn't seem very promising to me. If it took two tries to start, did that mean we were going to be stranded somewhere when the bike failed?
The engine roared to life and he twisted the handle bar to rev the engine. "Hop on!" He shouted over the roar of the engine.
I hesitated for a minute, chewing my lip. I'd seen girls in movies do this all of the time; surely it couldn't be that difficult. I placed my hands on his shoulder and climbed onto the seat behind him. I placed my hands lightly on his sides and waited, silently praying he wasn't going to kill us both.
"You have to hold on tighter than that!" He shouted over the roaring engine. He took my arms and wrapped them around his body. "Hold on!" he cried.
I cried out as he shifted the bike into gear and took off down the dirt road. I rested my forehead between his shoulders and shut my eyes tightly. The wind whipped past us, almost as loud as the bike itself.
"Isn't this great?!" Taylor shouted. I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head. The trees and brush were flying past as we traveled down the trail. I couldn't gauge how fast we were going, but it had to have been fast.
I pursed my lips tightly. It was kind of fun, but I was still terrified.
"Are we almost there?" I shouted.
"Almost!" He responded with a smirk. "Hang on!"
I gasped and held on tightly as he turned and the bike leaned to one side, my thighs gripping his hips. He followed the trail as it veered to the left and the bike shot up a hill. When he reached the top he slowed and eventually came to a stop. The entire trip couldn't have lasted more than fifteen minutes, but the vibration of the bike had made my legs numb. He turned off the bike and climbed off, grinning at me hugely.
"That was a blast!" He announced.
I swallowed thickly, trying to slow the rapid beating of my heart.
His arms outstretched and he helped me awkwardly climb from the bike. My legs were shaking slightly, and I wasn't sure if I could stand on my own two feet. His arms remained around me. He was grinning like a kid in a candy store.
"Are you okay?" He asked, obviously suppressing laughter.
I nodded. "My legs are numb."
"You get used to that." He replied. He kept one hand on my hip and with his other hand; he flipped up the seat and removed a bundle of blankets and a plastic shopping bag. "On the bright side, this place is romantic and private." He replied.
I nodded. He slowly removed his hand from my waist and walked a few feet away. When I was confident that I could remain on my own two feet, I walked toward him. He was stretching out a blanket on the grass. I smiled to myself. This was a perfect and remote place for a date. Far away from the prying eyes of people, and more importantly away from anyone who might attend our school and start rumors.
I glanced around. We were in a wooded area, but more importantly on a high cliff, overlooking a valley. From this vantage point, I could see for miles. And each and every mile was beautiful. The leaves were changing, and the view was dotted with different fall colors. A rock filled river cut a path just below us through the trees. It took my breath away.
"How did you find this place?" I asked, moving toward Taylor. He plopped down in the center of the blanket and motioned for me to sit with him. I removed his jacket from my shoulders and folded it on the blanket.
"My brothers and I go dirt biking here. The guy who owns the property is a friend of my dad’s. I sometimes get my bike and come here to think. I've never really brought anyone here before." He shrugged. He sat with his knees bent and his elbows on his knees.
I smiled to myself. I walked around him and plopped down between his knees. He folded me into his arms and I leaned back against his chest. I felt safe and contented in his arms, and for a few brief moments, everything else in the word faded away to insignificant nothing.
He reached for the other blanket and wrapped it around himself. The blanket was long enough that he was able to wrap it around the both of us.
I sighed comfortably and contentedly, leaning back in his arms.
He lightly lifted my hair over my shoulder. My hair was tortured and terrorized from the blowing wind from the ride out here. I was sure my hair was so wild it was reminiscent of an eighties hair band. He leaned toward me and lightly kissed my temple, a soft, sweet kiss; his lips barely brushing my skin.
"Hey," He said suddenly. "I even packed us a picnic. Are you hungry?"
"A picnic?" I asked in disbelief. I glanced around, not seeing a backpack or any way he could have possibly brought food all the way out here. "Did you leave it back in the truck?" I asked.
"No, it's right here." He dropped the blanket and stood up, walking over to his bike. He fiddled with a latch and lifted the seat. He brought over a handful of sandwiches, all individually wrapped in cellophane. He brought two cans of soda over, tucked beneath his arm.
"Alright, so I've got ham, roast beef, turkey and the classic... PB and J." He announced.
"Which one are you going to eat?" I asked.
Taylor shrugged, "Whichever ones you don't eat." He deadpanned.
I laughed softly. I should have known. "I'll take the turkey sandwich, please."
Taylor tossed me a sandwich from the pile and plopped next to me. He opened one of the cans of soda and placed it in front of me before opening his own.
"Did you make these?" I inquired.
"Yeah." He shrugged. "Well, I had a bit of help. My mom helped." He admitted.
I smiled to myself. "Umm... So... I've been thinking..." I unwrapped my sandwich and took a small bite.
"About what?" He asked, already devouring the first sandwich.
"Last night you said something that's kind of been bugging me..." I started awkwardly, searching for the right words. I toyed with the cellophane, avoiding eye contact.
"Emma, listen. About a lot of that stuff I said yesterday. I didn't mean most of that... I was just..." He sighed, his breath close to my ear. "I lost my temper and I said some stuff I didn't really mean."
"No, I know that." I replied. "I meant what you said about us being exclusive..."
"Oh... That..." He mused.
"I was thinking that maybe we no longer have to hide the fact that we're together, you know? Maybe it's time that everyone should know."
I could practically feel him smile. "Are you sure?"
I nodded. "I think so. It would be the perfect way to get back at Paige, right?"
"No, Emma. Don't do this just to get back at her, okay? She's not worth it. Trust me."
"I know that," I said quickly. "I just think
.... Well, I'm ready for other people to know... this whole keeping it a secret thing was kind of... silly, wasn't it?"
He laughed softly. "Silly, no. I think it made sense. But whenever you're ready to show the world we're more than friends..." He began.
I smiled. "Tomorrow? At school?"
"Alright." He chuckled softly.
I tried to turn, but was unwilling to leave his arms. "Are you okay with that... or... are you happy with the way things are now?" I swallowed hard.
He smiled, and lightly kissed my cheek. "I'm happy with whatever makes you happy."
I bit my lower lip.
"What's wrong?" He asked; his brow furrowed in concern.
I reached for the blanket and tugged it around my shoulders. I was starting to get cool again, even though it was unseasonably warm, especially after snowing earlier.
"You mentioned before, that there was a dance coming up?" I began. I was quick to speak again before he could. "You asked me if I wanted to go. I think I might like to... I'm a terrible dancer, and... Well, I've never really been to a dance before..."
"You don't have to go if you don't want to." Taylor protested, though I could see the sparkle in his eye.
"I would like to go. Out of curiosity... though I don't have a dress or anything..."
"It's still a week away. That's plenty of time to-" He stopped, cutting himself off. "You don't have to do this, just to make me happy.
"I want to... I think." I smiled. "I might be kicking myself later for it."
Taylor chuckled. "You will have a good dance. I know school functions have kind of a bad reputation, but the dances are really not that bad." He leaned forward and lightly kissed my lips. "We'll have a good time together. I promise." He lightly brushed my cheek.
Suddenly, it was all worthwhile.
Chapter 31:
Debut
Taylor and I had agreed to meet at the school the next morning, and walk in together. I arrived first, and the more time I spent thinking about the impending day, the more I started to become completely unhinged. The more time I spent staring at the ancient clock in my even more ancient dashboard, the more I began to panic.