After Reed

by Blythe Stone

  “She’s gone from being completely unable to talk to us to being almost real like her old self in the span of three days.”

  “Interesting,” my mother said.

  “Can I see Dad?”

  “Of course,” my mom said, pained. “He hasn’t come, because it’s hard for him, but you’re you again.”

  I knew what that meant.

  “There are some things from the house I’ve been meaning to get.”

  “I can drive you down-”

  “No, no,” I said, shaking my head. “I-I can’t- I’m not ready to go anywhere.”

  “Okay,” my mom said, carefully. “We can send for them.”

  “It’s not you,” I said, making sure that she knew.

  “I know,” my mom said, nodding. I could tell though she was a bit skeptical.

  “It just might break me,” I said, since it seemed necessary that I do so. “I never meant to become that. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had no thoughts. If my body moved I wasn’t in control of it. I didn’t try to kill myself. My subconscious must’ve taken over. I have no recollection.”

  “Leah,” my mom said, touching my hand. “We know sweetie. We can tell when it’s not you.”

  “Okay,” I said, nodding slowly. “I just needed to say it. I needed to make sure you knew.”

  “We knew,” my mom said.

  “What about the Evans’s?” I asked. “Do they- do they know about Daniel? About me?”

  “I haven’t contacted them in over a month,” my mother said. “After Reed they seemed distraught. They clung to each other though and they’re still in that house.”

  That was huge. Usually when they had problems they’d crumble.

  They were very much like Reed. They’d run and run and run when things went bad.

  “Samuel kept coming to see you, do you remember that?”

  “What?” I didn’t.

  “Out of everyone, he’s been here the most I think,” my mom said. “Besides myself and Natalie, of course. He even built that rowboat out back.”

  She looked to Nora apologetically. She wasn’t trying to blame or anything. She just found it worth mentioning.

  “Why’d he come?”

  “He loves you sweetie,” my mom made a strange face she rarely made. Too much emotion she was trying to fight back. “He’d come and talk to you about Reed. I’d try not to listen but sometimes it was hard not to. I think it was too hard for Reed’s mom. She couldn’t talk so much about Reed. They carry all that guilt from those years they didn’t love her right because of Sammy.”

  It was a wonder they hadn't killed themselves. Losing two children? I couldn’t even imagine.

  “I’ll call them tonight,” I said.

  “That’s good. Your voice will change them, I know it will,” my mother nodded. “Do me a favor though. Don’t tell them about Reed. Invite them here, show them.”

  “Okay,” I laughed awkwardly.

  “I really did think you were crazy,” she laughed, using her napkin to wipe her nose. “And, when I leave here… I’m going to be doing some research.”

  We’d all eaten and tired ourselves out. The food was delicious and I ate more than I was used to but we didn’t much mention it over everything else.

  Nora made coffee and built up a fire. She and my mother drank wine but I was still scared of sinking into a cycle of abuse because of what went on.

  I snuck into my room to check on Natalie and noticed her sleeping on what could only be Reed’s form.

  “Is she okay?” I asked, taking my phone from the nightstand and moving to lay by Reed’s side.

  “This has been just… Really hard on her,” Reed said. “The things I could tell you...”

  I couldn’t see her but I knew that she shuddered.

  I brought up Reed’s dad’s number on my phone and showed it to her.

  “Oh boy,” she said, taking in a big breath and trying to brace herself.

  Natalie stirred a little and moved just a little bit so we could all lay together and try and find calm.

  “You ready?” I asked.

  “Guess I have to be,” Reed said.

  I clicked on the button and turned the speaker on. After a few beats I heard the familiar sound of Reed’s dad.

  “Wh-ah-Leah?” He answered quickly like he wasn’t used to his phone ringing.

  “Hi,” I laughed. “It’s been a while.”

  “It has,” I could practically hear him smiling through the distance.

  “Hi dad!” Reed said.

  There was silence on the other end.

  “Did you hear that?” I asked carefully.

  “Dad, it’s- it’s me. I know this seems crazy but I’m getting better at making my voice heard.”

  “This…” He couldn’t add it up and I could feel his denial and confusion.

  “Dad?” Reed asked, still unsure if he could hear her.

  “I miss you,” he said. “I miss you both.”

  “You should come up,” I said, worried. This was the opposite of what my mom asked me to do.

  “Don’t tell Mom you heard my voice, she’ll freak out,” Reed laughed.

  “Baby…” I knew he probably started to cry.

  “I wanna see you!” Reed said. I briefly wondered if she could teleport to them. It seemed like she hadn’t left my side this whole time. She was probably scared to. I got that. I’d be just the same.

  “I wanna- wanna see you too,” Mr. Evans said. “I’ll come up.”

  “Bring Mom this time,” Reed said.

  “Oh, I will,” he said.

  “Leah?”

  “I’m here,” I said, too overwhelmed by their emotions to talk.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Better than I’ve been in a long time,” I laughed. “I can feel her. She’s here.”

  “I’ll be there soon.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “I love you,” he said, in his gruff matter-of-fact way that always made me laugh.

  “I love you too.”

  “Love you Dad!” Reed said.

  The line went dead and I could tell we were all breathing heavily without meaning to.

  Chapter Thirty

  Nat

  Given everything, Lily decided to stay the night. The house was big, we had a whole second floor we didn’t really use.

  I’d offered Nora that nice big room but she insisted on staying in mine.

  My attitude about her had been in a state of flux since the moment she arrived. Only now was I starting to feel things settle into something approaching normal.

  We left Leah and Reed to be alone and the rest of us sat out in the living room talking about them since there had been so much to say and no other time in which to do so, until now.

  I settled into Nora’s side on the couch, tucking my feet under myself and allowing her to hold me loosely.

  “So, you’re all okay with the cameras?”

  “The cameras are smart,” I said. “I think Nora’s been more worried than all of us, and it makes sense. It was just one of those things I couldn’t really think about.”

  “Do you need time away?” Lily asked.

  “No,” I said. And I was sick of people asking me that. “I like being with her.”

  “Good,” Lily said. “You’re the best person. Leah trusts you the most.”

  That was true…

  “Are you thinking about coming to stay for a while?” I asked. “That’d be fine. We don’t need to be alone out here.”

  “Well, you’re not alone,” Lily smiled, obviously talking about Reed.

  I felt Nora’s body beneath mine. I was finally starting to feel less alone. A burst of love seemed to cry out for her from inside me.

  “I just mean, Leandra loves you and you’re welcome here.”

  “That’s sweet,” Lily said. “I don’t think Leah wants me here that often though.”

  She was probably right. Their relationship had never been solid. />
  “Whatever’s going on with Reed, I hope it lasts.”

  “Me too,” I said, not wanting to think about that.

  We all believed different things. We hadn’t been talking about that but we all had these different beliefs that sort of had to twist now because of Reed in our world.

  “Really though, move in. Move next door. Don’t feel like you have to stay away, that was never a feeling I wanted to promote by coming out here. I just wanted to give Leah some new space.”

  “And you were right,” Lily said, appeasing me. “Leah told me herself she couldn’t even go back to the house right now because it might break her.”

  “She did?” I asked, worried.

  “She did,” Lily said.

  I felt Nora’s hand stroking my hair and then my side. She had been quiet, but I could sense her silent support. I felt her lips kiss my hair.

  She was taking care of me. And I was letting her.

  I moved my arm tighter around her waist and hugged her lightly.

  “We haven’t stayed away because we felt unwanted, Natalie.”

  The words crept inside me and I allowed myself to believe them.

  “Seeing her like that was hard.”

  Of course it was fucking hard…

  “Henrik couldn’t,” Lily choked. “He just pretended she was fine and that worked for him a little. Not really, but a little. Now that she’s back he’ll want to consult with her,” she laughed.

  “About what?” I asked, curiously.

  “Oh, you know, work. You know how those two are when they’re alone in a room.”

  I did know… Leah’s father was interesting and their relationship was confusing to anyone looking in from the outside.

  “I’m gonna start sending people down tomorrow. Leah wants her things. We’ll have the cameras set up and create a monitoring team. There’s a property two houses away we can use for security. We can even block off the whole road if we want to. Strike it off google street view. Control who comes in and who goes out. You picked this place perfectly.”

  “I wasn’t thinking about that,” I said, meaning it. All I was thinking about was finding a place where Leah could wake up.

  “Still,” Lily said. “Leah wants a darkroom out back, we’ll make her a darkroom.”

  It was strange to see how fast things were changing.

  It was like we’d been dormant here just as Reed had been. We’d been just waiting, together, yet apart.

  “Anything you want, Natalie. Anything you want, I’ll get it for you.”

  “I don’t need anything,” I said absently.

  I’d already gotten what I wanted. Leah had come back.

  What Leah did now was her decision. If she wanted those things I wanted her to have them. I would’ve found a way without Lily’s help.

  “When I asked if you wanted a nurse and you refused, I was secretly happy,” Lily confessed. “I knew Leah would want you and not some stranger.”

  I couldn’t think of a response. I felt sad.

  “She’s back now,” I said. We didn’t need to talk about it.

  There was silence. They were probably both staring at me but I didn’t care.

  The talk changed after that. Nora and Lily found ways to talk around me without disturbing my peace of mind.

  I drifted here and there.

  The fire felt lovely and Nora’s body was soft.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Leah

  I woke to the sound of knocking.

  “Babe,” Reed said. “Babe, get up.”

  I felt jarred and tousled, Reed was gently shaking me awake.

  Muffled voices on the other side of the bedroom door made wake fully.

  I could see Reed as she went towards the door, opening it as the voices approached.

  Reed’s mother moved forward and grabbed Reed up in a violent hug.

  “It’s not possible!” Her voice shook.

  “It is,” Reed laughed. It was happening and it was possible.

  Her mom leaned back and took Reed’s face in her hands and stared.

  I couldn’t imagine what they were thinking. I wanted to ask if they’d ever seen Sammy but I knew it’d be wrong.

  Mr. Evans hugged me first but his eyes were glued onto Reed and I knew he was just waiting to touch her.

  “Dad,” Reed said, pulling him to her and burying her face in his chest.

  I stood back and hugged myself, using the wall for support.

  It was dark outside. They must’ve come right away.

  Off in the distance I saw Nat awake by the door. She must’ve been the one to let them in.

  The fire had been put out and most of the lights were still off.

  I moved around them and began to try and lighten the place up.

  It was the middle of the morning but this was important and I wanted them to see her and talk to her and say all the things they’d been wishing they could say.

  I crumpled some paper by the fire but then I felt Natalie’s hand stopping mine.

  “Relax,” she said sweetly. “I can do it.”

  She’d done too much for me already. All I could do for her though was let her feel like I’d always need her.

  “Thanks,” I said, standing. She mirrored my stance and I moved my hand around her waist and hugged her.

  The Ouija board was still sitting on the table. I folded it closed and hid it for the time being.

  Nat’s eyes were following me. She wanted me relaxing. This was the most I’d been up in several months. I got it, I was overdoing it. Okay. Okay.

  I moved up onto the couch and pulled the soft throw blanket over my legs.

  The Evans’s were talking and laughing. I concentrated on Reed’s voice and just waited.

  Nat finished the fire. She locked the front door and tousled my hair as she walked back to her room possibly to sleep.

  I had fear of Reed fading.

  This could be some lucky week for us and she could fade off, lose her strength.

  She hadn’t felt weak though. It seemed the more corporeal she became the less weakness she had.

  I wanted to believe it would last but I was skeptical.

  I tried not to feel selfish but I was.

  The Evans family eventually came to the living room and sat down.

  Reed made me move so that we could sit close together.

  We all talked but it felt really bizarre.

  I think the Evanses needed me to be their sanity and their witness. If I saw and felt and heard Reed that meant they weren’t crazy, and it was all real.

  I understood their tentative belief, but they’d touched her and felt her. They couldn’t explain that away very easily.

  I felt sleepy and sore. Reed’s laughter shook my body and I smiled.

  “Are you going to stay here?” I didn’t know why people kept asking me that.

  “I am,” I said.

  I didn’t want to talk about my fears of leaving. Maybe being isolated out here was helping Reed manifest herself. Maybe the lake was important. Maybe it was magic. Maybe it was everything. It was an impossible situation that felt simultaneously precious and precarious.

  “My mom’s still worried about Daniel so they’re going to set up cameras and hire a 24/7 security team.”

  I wasn’t sure if they were thinking about that but I wanted them to know. The question just kept coming up and it confused me. Why would I leave Nat now that I was awake? That made absolutely no sense. There was nowhere else I wanted to be.

  If Nat wanted to leave that’d be different- but she didn’t, so I wouldn’t. And Reed was here.

  “Apparently he’s taken on some new identity, gotten a job in Vancouver, working with teenagers. It’s disgusting.”

  “Bastard,” Reed grumbled.

  Her anger stirred up dormant feelings in me and I turned to acknowledge her.

  “Yeah,” I said, tracing her features with my eyes.