The Tender Flame

by Al Lacy

  Tears filled Jessica’s eyes, and a smile lit up her face. She pressed the pages close to her heart and whispered, “Oh, Josh, you’ve come so close. If you’re in love with me, please say it. Please. I need so very much to hear it!”

  After supper, when Jessica and her parents were in the parlor, she read them the letter. When she finished, she said, “Mama … Daddy … I so want to write back and tell Josh that I’m in love with him, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

  “You must let him say it first, dear,” Carrie said. “If it’s in Josh’s heart, it will come out.”

  “That’s right,” Grant said. “All you can do at this point is pray.”

  “I’m doing a whole lot of that, Daddy.”

  “Maybe you should casually mention to Josh the young men in our church who are showing interest in you,” Carrie said. “Might make him realize that if he’s in love with you, he’d better let you know.”

  Jessica chuckled. “All right. I’ll just mention that some of them are asking me out for dinner and that kind of thing.”

  “It might be a good idea for you to start accepting those invitations,” Carrie said. “Johnny, Hal, Dan, and Earl are all nice young men.”

  “I suppose you’re right, Mama. They are very nice. I’ll accept the next invitation, but all I can do is be kind to them. There’s room for only one person in my heart.”

  Josh Cornell faithfully worked at Lydia Price’s home on Saturday mornings, and the rest of the week he stayed busy with his church work and the three days he labored at the mill. But no matter what he was doing, Jessica continually came to mind. The truth of it had been gradual in coming, but by late March, Josh knew that what he felt for Jessica was much more than the friendship they had shared as children.

  The last two letters from Jessica had disturbed him. She had not mentioned dating anyone until then, but in her last two letters, she had mentioned going on dates with four different boys. He decided he should wait no longer.

  Late that evening, Josh sat in his room to compose the letter. First he prayed, asking the Lord to help him word it just right and to not let Jessica fall for any of the men she was dating.

  In the letter, Josh told Jessica that ever since they first met at Fort Union, he had felt a friendship love for her, and that as the years passed, the love grew stronger. He said that ever since the day they saw each other in Fairfax, the friendship love had been changing to another kind … and growing deeper. He told her plainly that he was in love with her and he hoped that she might possibly feel the same way toward him. He could wait no longer to find out.

  Jessica, he wrote, there’s never been anybody but you for me, and there never will be. I’m asking you now, from the depths of my heart, will you honor me by becoming my wife? Will you marry me? If your answer is yes, I will send the money for your travel expenses. You have often mentioned your best friend, Brenda Moore—now Simmons—and how happy she is married to Gil. Just think, my proposal comes to you through the mail. If you accept my proposal, that will make you my mail order bride!

  The next day, Pastor Farrington knocked at the door of Josh’s small office at the church.

  “Hello, Pastor,” Josh said. “Something I can do for you?”

  “I’d like to talk to you in my office if you can spare the time right now.”

  “Sure. I was just working on my sermon for next Sunday afternoon.”

  When both men were seated in the pastor’s office, Farrington said, “I want to commend you, Josh, for the marvelous job you’re doing as my assistant. I’m hearing many good things from the people.”

  “I’m glad you and they are pleased with my work, sir.”

  “I am especially pleased with the way you’ve managed the counseling jobs I’ve given you. You’ve handled them quite well, and you will find this experience invaluable when you’re the pastor here. This leads me to what I want to talk to you about.”

  “Yes, sir?”

  “You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t had you doing any marriage counseling.”

  “Yes, sir. I just assumed it was because I’m not married.”

  “Right. Which brings us to the next item of business. We’re getting closer to the day when I’ll be stepping aside and you’ll become pastor. I really think to be as effective as you can be, you need to have a wife. We need to pray for God to give you the young woman He has chosen for you … and soon.”

  Josh leaned forward on the chair. “Well, Pastor, this may happen within a few weeks.”

  Farrington’s eyes widened. “How can this be? I haven’t seen you with a young lady.”

  “That’s because she lives some fourteen hundred miles from here. I told you once about Major Grant Smith and his family, who meant so much to me when Dad was chaplain at Fort Union.”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “Well, sir, let me tell you about their daughter, Jessica.” Josh told the pastor the whole story, from the time he was twelve and Jessica was seven, up until the present moment, including the letter he had mailed to her just that morning.

  Farrington stroked his jaw. “Josh, I’m glad to hear this. Seems to me this calls for a two-man prayer meeting right now. Let’s take it to the Lord and ask Him to reveal His will to both you and Jessica.”

  Two days after sending the letter, Josh trotted his horse into the lumber camp and reined in at the tool shack where foreman Luke Kimble stood.

  “Morning, Luke.” Josh swung his leg over the horse’s back to dismount. “Dad said you had a little shortage of manpower today.”

  “Mack Potter wrenched his back yesterday and can’t swing an ax or work a saw. I sent word to your pappy late yesterday afternoon that I needed a man to fill in for him. Didn’t know he’d send you.”

  “I guess Dad’s scraping the bottom of the barrel, but here I am.”

  “You’ll be working with Herman Jacobs. He’s already up at the cutting site.” He pointed toward the west. “They’re only about three hundred yards straight up toward that rock that looks like a church steeple.”

  “All right. I’ll just leave my horse here and walk on up.”

  Josh started up the steep slope and came upon a crew of men loading cut and trimmed timber onto wagons to be taken to the mill in town. Jed Andrews and Casey Harmon were working side by side. A half dozen other men stood nearby.

  “You heading up to the cutting area, Josh?” Casey said.

  “I’m substituting for Mack Potter. Luke said he’s got a sore back.” Josh continued on up the slope.

  “That’s what we hear. Take care up there.”

  Josh raised a hand in acknowledgment and kept walking.

  When Josh was out of earshot, Casey said, “I really like that guy, Jed, even though he’s a preacher.”

  Jed laughed. “Even preachers can be likable.”

  One by one, the crew looped ropes on the ends of the huge logs, lifted them with a hand-cranked crane on wheels, and placed them on ox-drawn wagons. They used steel bars about five feet in length to position the logs at the bottom of the stack so they could be picked up by the crane. After a while, a log about a third of the way up the stack angled itself slightly crossways when one of the bottom logs was rolled from the stack.

  “Hold it!” one of the men called. “Log jam!”

  “I’ll get it,” Jed said.

  Jed maneuvered his way cautiously up the stack while the other men waited and watched. When he reached the spot, Jed slipped the end of his pry bar into a strategic spot and slowly gave it pressure to straighten the angled log. He had it almost in place when his right foot slipped.

  The log dislodged and rolled down the stack. Jed jumped out of the way, but the next log behind it slid, and suddenly there was an avalanche of logs rolling and tumbling down, sounding like thunder.

  By the time the jumbled logs came to a halt, Jed was pinned from the chest down between two logs. His teeth were clenched in pain as he tried to get a breath. He was barely able t
o breathe for the weight against his chest.

  “Jed!” Casey cried. “Hang on! We’ll get you out!”

  By this time, Luke Kimble was on the scene, calling out orders and warning the men to be cautious and not set off another avalanche. While the men worked to free him, Jed labored to breathe.

  “Casey, if … if I don’t make it, tell Josh—thank him … for leading me to the Lord. Tell him I—tell him I’ll meet him … in heaven.”

  Tears shimmered across Casey’s vision and slid down his face. “Jed! Don’t die, Jed! You’re my best friend. Please don’t die!”

  Josh Cornell was swinging his ax, timing his blows alternately with Herman Jacobs’s as they chopped a wedge-shaped notch in the trunk of a pine tree. Suddenly Josh noticed a man running up the steep slope toward him and calling his name.

  “It’s Casey,” Josh said. “I think something’s happened.”

  “Josh!” Casey called, panting as he drew up. “Jed … Jed’s been caught in a log slide!”

  “Is he—?”

  “He’s still alive. At least he was when I left to come and get you. Luke and the men are trying to get him out. He’s pinned from the chest down.”

  Josh darted down the slope, weaving between trees, with Casey and Herman behind him.

  When they reached the spot, the men were carefully laying Jed on the ground. Josh breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Jed clenching his teeth and blinking his eyes. Josh knelt beside Jed, then looked at Luke Kimble.

  “No way to know how much damage is done, Josh, till we get him to Doc Fraser.”

  “Get a wagon ready,” Josh said. “I’ll take him.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Casey said, “if it’s all right with Luke.”

  Kimble nodded, then told a couple of men to bring a wagon.

  Josh leaned close to the injured man. “You’ll be all right, Jed. We’ll get you to Doc Fraser.”

  Jed swallowed hard and met Josh’s gaze. “I … can breathe now. It hurts, but up there between those logs, I thought I was going to have the life squeezed out of me.”

  “You just rest easy. Don’t try to talk. It’ll be a bumpy ride, but we’ll get you to town as soon as possible. Casey will ride in the back of the wagon with you and keep you as comfortable as he can.”

  At the clinic, which had once been owned by Dr. Clay Price, Josh and Casey sat in the waiting room while Dr. Emmett Fraser and his nurse tended Jed. Josh had his head bowed and was silently praying that the Lord would spare Jed’s life. When he finished praying, he looked up to see Casey staring at the floor, hands clasped, face pale.

  “God won’t let Jed die, will he, Josh?”

  “I’m certainly praying that He won’t. Like Dr. Fraser said, there could be serious internal damage. We’ll know a lot more when he’s finished examining him.”

  Casey stared at the floor again and mumbled something unintelligible.

  “What did you say?”

  Casey cleared his throat. Tears were swimming in his eyes. “I said it could’ve been me crushed between those logs. I’ve climbed many a log stack and used a bar to straighten up a wayward log. I’ve never had my foot slip like Jed’s did. It could’ve been me, Josh. If it had been, and I had died—” His voice choked as the tears streamed down his cheeks.

  “Yes, it could have been you, Casey,” Josh said quietly. “And?”

  “If … if it had been me, and I had died, I’d be in hell now.”

  “Jed told me you said you weren’t sure that you believed there’s a hell. Apparently you’ve changed your mind.”

  Casey drew in a deep breath. “Yeah, I’ve changed my mind. Jesus wouldn’t have gone to the cross and suffered like He did if there was no hell to save us from. Jed helped me understand that.”

  “That’s exactly right. And you admit that you would be in hell right now if it had been you crushed in the logs and you had died?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to go to hell.”

  “There’s only one way to miss it.”

  “I know.”

  “And that is?”

  “I have to repent of my unbelief, repent of my sin, and ask Jesus to come into my heart and save me.”

  “That’ll make you one of us fanatics. Do you understand that, Casey?”

  “Yes, I understand. And that’s what I want, Josh. I want to be one of those born-again fanatics who loves Jesus like you do … and like Jed. I don’t want to wait another minute!”

  After Josh led Casey to the Lord, he told him they should pray together for Jed. Josh led them as they prayed, but when he said amen, Casey prayed aloud too, fumbling a bit with his words but asking the Lord to spare his friend.

  The door opened and portly Dr. Fraser entered the waiting room. “Your friend is quite bruised up from his chest to his toes, but I find no indication of internal injuries. He’s got three cracked ribs, but those will heal in a short time.”

  “Doctor!” Casey said. “You mean he’s not going to die?”

  “No. He’s going to be just fine.”

  Casey looked toward heaven and said, “Thank You, Lord Jesus! Thank you!”

  “This young man sounds like a fanatic to me,” Fraser said with a smile.

  Josh chuckled. “Yes, Doctor, he just became one. Could we see Jed?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’d like to take this fanatic in there and let him tell Jed what just happened to him.”

  The morning sun was glowing over the plains as Daniel and David Smith embraced their mother. Her condition had deteriorated, and she was sitting in an overstuffed chair in the parlor. Grant had taken the morning off from his job at the bank to drive Carrie into town for a doctor’s appointment.

  “I’ll be fine, boys,” she said. “You head for school before you’re late.”

  Jessica looked at her mother, noting the dark circles that shadowed her eyes. “Now, Mama, if Dr. Stafford says you shouldn’t try to cook breakfast and supper for a while, you mind him. I can take care of it until you’re feeling better.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “We sure will,” Grant said. “If Dr. Stafford tells you to rest more, Jessica and I will see that you do it, even if we have to hog-tie you to that bed!”

  Carrie smiled.

  Thirty minutes later, Jessica stood at the front door of the house and watched her parents’ buggy turn onto the road. She blinked at the sudden tears in her eyes and quickly closed the door, then went to her room. She fell to her knees beside her bed and prayed, “Dear Lord, I beg of You, please make Mama well. She’s the most wonderful mother in all the world, Lord, and I thank You for letting me be her daughter. You know how much I love her and need her. Please make her well. And Lord … about Josh. You know how much I love him. If it’s not in Your plan for Josh and me to be married, then You’ll have to work a miracle in my heart. I really need to hear from You on this, Lord Jesus. Amen.”

  FOR A WHILE AFTER THEIR MOVE TO COLORADO, Carrie Smith had experienced renewed strength and vitality. But in the past few weeks, the symptoms of her illness had been becoming more pronounced by the day.

  Grant and Carrie concentrated on the positive as they drove to the doctor’s office. There was a deep and abiding love between them, and Grant would do anything to make her life as happy and fulfilled as possible, however long that life might be.

  Grant sat in the waiting room while Dr. Peter Stafford made his examination of Carrie, with a nurse at his side. Carrie had lost weight since her last appointment. Her face had an ashen hue except for the rosy spots on her cheeks due to the fever.

  She studied the doctor’s eyes as he listened to her lungs with his stethoscope. When the nurse took the thermometer from her mouth, Carrie said, “Doctor, I want you to be honest with me. Please don’t try to spare me. I want to know the truth about my—” Her words were cut off by a sudden, hacking cough. When the coughing ceased, Carrie lowered her hand from her mouth. “I want to know the truth about my condition.”

  Stafford looked a
t the nurse for the temperature reading.

  “101, Doctor.”

  The doctor turned to Carrie, a serious look on his face. “Mrs. Smith, it is true that you’re not improving as I had hoped, and as your doctor in Maryland had hoped when he sent you to Colorado. But we mustn’t despair. I can give you some stronger cough medicine, and if you’ll get more rest, I can be somewhat optimistic.”

  “More rest. All I’m doing now, Doctor, is cooking breakfast and supper for my family. The rest of the day, I do nothing but lie in bed or sit in a chair while I watch Jessica do all the housework. She and Grant do the grocery shopping. Must I even stop cooking?”

  “You’ve told me before that Jessica helps you do the cooking, but that you carry the main load yourself.”

  “Yes.”

  “Can you continue to cook the two meals?”

  Carrie closed her eyes. “No. Not like I have been. It’s down to Jessica doing about half of it.”

  “Mrs. Smith, as your physician, I’m telling you that you must leave all the cooking to Jessica. Without total rest, your condition will get worse. You asked me not to beat around the bush, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I won’t. Until we can get you much improved, you are not to do any of the cooking. Do you understand?”

  Carrie stared at him silently, a pained look in her eyes.

  “And please obey my orders about staying in the house during inclement weather. If you should catch a cold, it would be extremely dangerous for you. Now, while Nurse Johnson helps you button up, I’ll go tell your husband what I’ve just told you.”

  Grant and Carrie drove to the general store to pick up a few groceries and supplies while in town.

  “Want to stay out here or go in with me?” Grant asked.

  “I’ll go in with you,” she replied, giving him a fragile smile.

  When they returned to the buggy, Grant placed the boxes of groceries and supplies in the back, then helped Carrie onto the seat.

  “Next stop, the post office,” he said. “Then we’ll head for home. Are you all right?”