Keeping it Real

by Annie Dalton

  “Weird,” I whispered.

  Without realising it, I had started stroking my mum’s face, softly smoothing out her new worry lines. For the first time I noticed silver hairs glinting among her trendy new highlights and I felt this terrible pang. She was my mum. Mums are supposed to stay the same for ever.

  Our old satellite box was madly flashing zeros. Mum and Des never could get the hang of that Sky box.

  Then eighteen months of tears suddenly welled up, and I put my head down on the sofa and howled. “Oh, Mum I’ve missed you—”

  Then I gave up even trying to put so much pain into words, and just cried and cried.

  After a few minutes, I covered my face with my hands. I wasn’t supposed to be doing this! This was supposed to be beautiful, like in movies!

  I quickly wiped my eyes. “I had it all planned out - no, I did!” I told her half laughing, half crying. “I was going to be incredibly calm and bathed in light and you’d be like, totally awed but at the same time really, really happy to know I’d gone to a better place. And I have, Mum,” I sobbed out. “I have such a beautiful life - this is just so much harder than I ever…”

  I had to stop to take deep breaths.

  “Guess I just wanted to impress you, huh?” I said with a teary giggle. “Guess I’m not quite as angelic as I thought!”

  I blew my nose. After a while I said, “I see Des got round to repainting the flat. He did a good job.”

  I didn’t care if I was wittering. Why would you need to impress your mum? It was enough to be with her, smelling hyacinths and nattering about nothing. Finally I felt able to leave her, but only because I knew I’d be coming back.

  Holding my breath, I tiptoed into the room I used to share with my little sister. This room too had been freshly repainted. Our old twin beds had gone. Jade was asleep in one of those smart pine cabin beds with built-in shelves underneath. Her bed covers were pastel pink, like her curtains, with a cute fairy motif.

  I completely understood why they did it. It must have been painful for them coming into this room every day, seeing that empty bed. Humans don’t live for ever. They have to find a way to move on.

  I softly climbed up the short ladder and lay down on my side next to Jade, so I could look into her face.

  “Hi, Fluffyhead,” I whispered. “I bet you feel like the princess of Park Hall in this bed, yeah? I love the fairies.”

  With her elfin eyelids and little pointy face, Jade looked quite a lot like a fairy herself. She’d grown in the eighteen months I’d been gone. She was going to be a daddy-longlegs like her big sister. Yet just now she seemed touchingly small and vulnerable.

  Her limp little hand still smelled of warm wax crayons like I remembered. I stroked it gently. “I can’t stay now, Jadie, but I’ll be around for a few days, so I’ll come and see you again, I promise.” I plonked an angel kiss on her cheek. “Love you!”

  “Love you, Mel,” Jade murmured in her sleep.

  I gasped. I was so shocked, I beamed myself straight down into the street without even trying, and just started walking.

  A guy was trying to start his rusty old banger. Across the road, the Minimart was open. A van was delivering bread.

  I walked past everything in a daze.

  First Sky, now Jade!

  Two humans had heard me talking. OK, Jade was my sister, so there was a strong link, but Sky was wearing headphones!!

  Suddenly it was like I’d been struck by lightning. I literally looked up at the sky, as if this amazing revelation had been dropped from a passing plane!

  “So that’s why the Agency couldn’t send me till I’d had my birthday,” I breathed. “Omigosh, I’ve got to tell Lollie!”

  I fumbled in the pockets of my parka and called her on my dinky Agency mobile. There was a click and a hiss and I heard Lola’s singsong message. “Talk to the phone cos the face ain’t home. Please leave a message after the tone. BEEP!!”

  “Lollie!” I shouted into my phone. “I’m outside my old flats! I know! Listen, I’m going to road-test our survival guide for real. That’s my mission, Lollie! Michael said I’d figure out what I had to do when I got here and I just did! I’m going to teach my mates every cosmic survival technique in our book! Woo-whee, isn’t that totally amazing!!”

  When I got back to the house, I went to fetch myself a bowl of cereal and came back humming. I found Brice and Jools in the TV room.

  “You’re perky, angel girl,” Brice commented. “You were in the depths of despair last night.”

  “I feel great!” I bubbled. “I’ve figured out why Michael sent me. I was just walking along and - I totally saw what I have to do!”

  “Let me guess!” he said in a sarky tone. “You’re going to flit between your mates, beaming pretty vibes, until all of a sudden they rush to one another’s homes, kiss and make up. And little Mel goes back to Heaven tired but happy because her work on Earth is done.”

  I felt like he’d hit me. For a moment I just stared at him in shock, then I just saw red. “Ooh, silly me, wanting to help my friends!” I flashed. “Brice, you do realise those girls are in bits!”

  “So?” he said coldly. “You’re an angel, not their agony aunt.”

  “And you’re a heartless pig!”

  “At least I’m not living in La-la land! You might want to at least stop and think, darling, before you flit off to play good fairy.”

  “Brice, what the sassafras is there to think about! Michael sent me here to help my friends!”

  He’d got that pale, pinched look he gets when he’s angry. “You’re absolutely sure about that? There couldn’t possibly be any more to your mission than saving your precious girls?”

  He finally noticed Jools frantically shaking her head and abruptly walked out of the room. Jools went after him and I heard them arguing in low voices.

  I was trembling from Brice’s attack. This is so typical of that boy, I thought shakily. You just decide you can trust him then he publicly humiliates you. OK, so his good-fairy crack had come a teeny bit too close, but did he have to be so mean.

  I decided I wasn’t going to talk to Brice again, ever.

  When it seemed like the coast was clear, I ran up to get my bag.

  On my way upstairs, I glimpsed Delphine watching the TV monitors with a glazed expression, but as I hurtled back down, I saw the door had been closed.

  I heard Jools’ worried voice. “How do you tell someone something like that?”

  “You can’t,” Delphine murmured sympathetically. “I’m sure you’re doing the right thing.”

  I didn’t like to barge in on a private EA chat, so I left without saying anything to anyone.

  Outside it was sleeting again, and I quickly pulled up my furry parka hood. I don’t care what that creep thinks, I told myself, shivering. I feel really privileged to be on such an unusual and exciting mission. And I beamed myself smoothly through space.

  Chapter Twelve

  In order of urgency, my official worry list now read:

  Sky Nolan

  Eve Jackson

  Karmen Patel

  However, since Sky probably wouldn’t be back home for hours yet, rather than twiddling my little angel thumbs I’d decided to start with Jax.

  I shimmered into her room feeling v. slick and professional.

  My mate was still sleeping deeply, one arm dangling off the bed. Her fingertips had raw places where she bit her nails.

  I was pleased I’d got here before she woke up. Sleeping humans are more open to angelic suggestion.

  I sat down beside her, trying not to notice the grubby sheets. When I knew her, Jax was the cleanest girl I knew. She washed her hair every day, and if she ate something at school, she’d have to brush her teeth immediately afterwards. I’m not sure where she got that habit. It wasn’t her parents.

  Jax was the youngest Jackson and the only girl. She reckoned that after four trouble-making boys, her parents just lost interest. They gave her a sweet name - Eve. After th
at Jax was basically on her own. I think she did a really great job of bringing herself up. OK, there was the shoplifting, but if your mum and dad don’t teach you right from wrong, you’re hardly going to learn that from a teen magazine, are you?

  Jax’s eyes were moving under her lids. She was dreaming.

  I smiled to myself. The conditions for my friend’s first angel lesson were almost perfect. Later in the day something might just go ‘click’ and she’d remember her mad dream where her dead friend was in her room, wearing pink suede boots and claiming to be an angel.

  I leaned in closer. “Jax? It’s me, Mel. The first thing I want to say is I’m not a scary spook - hopefully you can tell the difference from the vibes!” I joked. “I’m an angel, Jax! Kind of a surprise, yeah? Don’t ask why they picked me, because I have NO idea! Listen, I’ll probably be around for a few days and I’ve just had this really cool idea.”

  I shifted a little closer.

  “Tell you how it started - I was actually wishing you guys could all come back with me and be angels just for a day. I know it’s just a fantasy, but it got me thinking. I have such a beautiful life, Jax! I live in this huge vibey city, and I’m going to this cool angel school! I went into pure shock, though, when they first told me! I’m like, ‘I’m dead and I still have to go to school! Is that heartless or what!’”

  Jax’s mouth quirked up at the corners. My heart gave a little skip. Could she possibly be smiling at my joke?

  I softly stroked her hand, willing her to hear my voice. “I think you might actually like school in Heaven! When you’re training to be an angel, it’s like you’re a part of something HUGE, and it makes you feel so proud. I never felt like that before, and I want to share it with you, Jax!”

  Did I imagine it, or did my friend give a soft little sigh?

  “So then I’m like, OK, maybe your mates can’t go to angel high school, Melanie, but what’s to stop you taking the angel school to them? Yeah, I know! Creative thinking or what! I’m not talking scary advanced stuff, just basic cosmic laws, simple techniques for keeping yourself safe and whatever? You’d be like, an undercover angel! Would you be up for that?”

  I heard another soft sigh. I took that as a yes, and settled myself into a calm yoga sitting pose. I was about to teach my first official angel lesson.

  “OK, listen carefully now, babe, because I’m going to tell you something that will blow you away.” I paused for extra emphasis. “You’re magic, Jax!”

  If she remembered just this one thing, it would change her life forever.

  I took a deep breath. “And it’s not just you, girl. Everyone’s born magic, even that stinky old man who used to come into Costcutter. Ok, so he doesn’t look so magic now, but that’s because he’s got something called ‘cosmic amnesia’…”

  I told Jax that she must never ever think she was alone - that she had a huge celestial organisation watching out for her - and I dropped a tiny hint about the PODS for her to think about when she was awake.

  When I’d given my mate as much cosmic info as I thought she could absorb for one day, I slung my bag over my shoulder.

  “You’re magic, Jax, remember,” I repeated softly. “Never forget that, OK?”

  I checked my watch. Time to shoot off to Karmen’s.

  On my way out, I noticed the cactus. Maybe it had just been pretending to be dead, or maybe it was just the right time for it to come back to life? I don’t really know about cactuses. All I know is that this particular cactus had a tiny, shocking-pink flower shyly blooming from its withered little stump.

  Karmen’s bedroom smelled of hot clean hair. She was in front of the mirror using her hair straighteners. There was like, one tiny kink in her hair and she was stressing like you would not believe.

  This morning my friend was looking extra grownup and serious, in a fabulous shalwar kamiz sparkling with gold threads. Karms is usually more of a cool-casuals girl, so I guessed her parents were dragging her off to see the rellies later.

  Checking that her hair straighteners were switched off, Karmen ran back to the mirror and started yanking crossly at her hair.

  “Karmen Asha Patel,” I said sternly. “You look totally luminous, so stop stressing!”

  And she did! She actually walked away from the mirror!! I hadn’t even got started yet!!

  Maybe it was just a coincidence though, because Karmen immediately started burrowing in her wardrobe, until she’d located a pair of pretty sandals which would match her outfit.

  “Karms,” I said in the same firm voice. “Just chill, OK?”

  And again she stopped, only this time there was something in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.

  “Omigosh, Karmen?” I said excitedly. “You can hear me, can’t you? It’s me, Mel. I’m an angel, Karms. I know! I hardly believe it myself, but it’s true.”

  Next minute Karmen’s eyes went all wistful. Then she did a strange, not to say slightly creepy, thing. She walked up to the photo with its little scented candle and started talking to it!

  “I hope you’d be proud of me, Mel,” she whispered. “I really do.”

  “Karms, I’m humongously proud of you,” I said warmly, “but I’m actually right behind you, and I’m only in town a few days and we’ve got a LOT of ground to cover. You see… EEK,” I squeaked.

  Karmen had walked right through me on her way to the karaoke machine. Her room filled with cheesy music and to my dismay Karmen started belting out one of the big numbers from GREASE.

  Ever tried teaching cosmic survival to someone who’s yelling, “You’re the One that I Want” at the top of her lungs?

  Luckily I saw the funny side. I imagined Reubs and Lola howling with laughter as I described my frustrated attempt to pass on angel skills to a caterwauling Karmen. Knowing Reubs, he wouldn’t see a problem! He’d be like, “Why didn’t you just go with the flow, angel girl?”

  Yeah, angel girl, I thought. Just go with the flow!

  So I sang along!

  I can’t sing for peanuts, but I really got into it. Halfway through the number, Karms and I lost all our inhibitions and launched into a wild dance routine. I can’t swear to it, but I thought I saw her throw in some cheeky Bollywood moves.

  When the music finished, we both had to get our breath back.

  “Woo, that was fun! Almost like old times!” I panted. “Except obviously I was visible then!”

  Then I was like, Omigosh.

  All the strain had left Karmen’s face. She was glowing from dancing and laughing in that way you do when you’ve been kidding around. It was like I’d actually done her some good, you know?

  Then her eyes went wistful again. “Oh, Melanie, I hope they let you be one in Heaven,” she said softly.

  She was looking past me to our London Eye photo, but it was a really shivery moment. It was like, Karmen didn’t absolutely know I was here, but she kind of did.

  And be one what in Heaven?

  “Karms—” I started.

  “Time to go, beti,” her dad sang from the hall.

  I’d been at Karmen’s house exactly twenty minutes!

  I thought Reuben would be proud of me for managing to stay so chilled. What did it matter if my friend and I had connected during a cheesy song and dance routine, so long as we’d connected? And we had. I still had goose bumps to prove it.

  Two down, one to go, I thought, shimmering out into the street.

  In case Sky was still with lover boy, I went the long way round, strolling past shops and cafes. I think the dawn vibes were still fizzing in my veins, because I was genuinely loving being out in my old community. I started feeling like a bona fide local angel, bopping along in my borrowed parka, so I thought it was time I behaved like one.

  I started sending vibes to anyone who looked like they needed it (Ok, so maybe a couple of times I sent them to really fit boys -I’m just an angel, you know, not a saint!!).

  Soon angel vibes were raining down everywhere. I’m talking serious showers o
f gold sparkles. Little kids were smiling. Old married couples were holding hands. Park Hall was literally becoming a better place!

  I felt that special glow inside my chest. Helix wanted a word.

  “Isn’t this just pure magic!” I bubbled.

  “The best magic there is, sweetie. Not sure you should be drawing this much attention to yourself though. Angels aren’t the only beings who see vibes, remember.”

  “Oops,” I said. “Sorry, I’ll stop. It was cool though,” I added with a grin.

  It was late afternoon by the time I picked my way down the basement steps to the Nolans’ flat. They were still glassy with ice, though the snow had mostly melted everywhere else.

  I could hear a radio DJ talking through the door.

  I found Sky in the kitchen whizzing up a diet shake.

  “Hiya,” I said, when she’d finally switched off the blender. Sky carefully poured her shake into a glass and stood at the counter, gulping it down. My mate was dressed for comfort now, in trackie bottoms and a hoody she must have worn for decorating; you could see teeny streaks and splodges of paint.

  “Babe?” I tried again.

  The microwave dinged. Sky had been microwaving some popcorn. She took her snack to the table. An old R&B number came on. Sky moved her body while she munched, but from her eyes you knew she was back with the boyfriend, or maybe fantasising how it would be next time.

  “See you’re back on the Popcorn Diet,” I commented. “Not that you need to lose weight. You’re too skinny, girl!”

  My friend was alternating mouthfuls of popcorn with gulps of diet shake. I wondered if she could even taste them.

  I softly put my hand over hers, the first time I’d touched her. “Where are you, Sky?” I whispered. “You heard me last night.”

  She started picking at a miniscule speck of paint on her sleeve.

  “Just tell her what’s in your heart,” Helix suggested. “Isn’t that what real friends do? Tell each other the truth?”

  I thought she was right. Now that the Pinks had split up, Sky didn’t have a single mate left who could give her a reality check.