3rd World Products, Inc., Book 4

by Ed Howdershelt

  Sliding out of the smoke column, I banked sharply to aim myself at an area well beyond the cluster of people and vehicles below.

  Sue's current load of people was nearly on the ground as I said, "Sue, I don't really want to try to land down there."

  "Patience, please," she said, then a field tendril immobilized me in mid-flight and lowered me toward the flitter I couldn't see until I was within the flitter's field.

  "Glider off," I said as my feet touched the deck. "Five suit off. Thank you, milady."

  "You're welcome!" she said brightly, "That was an interesting solution concerning the cat, Ed."

  Andrew raised an eyebrow at me and said, "Yes, actually, it was." He glanced at Sue, then Steph, then at me again and shook his head slightly as he said, "It was all quite a show. Quite a show, indeed."

  Krista looked shaken and trembling as she stared at me. Marlena simply stared at me silently for another long moment, then opened the cooler and took out a beer. She twisted the cap off and appeared to drink nearly half of it before nudging Krista with the bottle.

  I reached into the cooler for a beer as Krista stared at the one being waved under her nose, then shook her head.

  "No. Thanks," she said, rising determinedly from the seat she'd taken at some point during the event.

  She approached me to within a yard or so, stared hard at me for some moments, and then turned to stare at Andrew in apparent disbelief.

  In an ominous tone she asked, "He could have been killed and you call it 'quite a show'? Quite-a-show?!"

  "Must you criticize every little thing I say?" he asked, then he stepped toward me with his right hand out. I put a beer in his hand.

  Andrew quickly took it with his other hand and again stuck his right hand out to reach for mine, which he shook as he grinningly stated, "Women don't understand these things, you know. Yes, by God. That was quite a show."

  He then opened my beer, then his, and clinked his bottle against mine.

  "Fuck Idi Amin," he said firmly.

  "Fuck Idi Amin," I echoed with a nod.

  We then guzzled beer for a few moments as we watched activities below.

  I heard Marlena ask, "Who's Idi Amin?"

  Krista said, "He was the dictator of Uganda when they were in Africa."

  Andrew belched and took a deep breath, then said, "And the fucking Cubans."

  "Damned right," I agreed. "Them, too."

  We finished our beers. I tossed my bottle over the side and it flashed to plasma. That made Andrew hesitate for a moment in his own bottle toss, but with a quick look at me, he also heaved his bottle to brilliant obliteration.

  "Damn," he said quietly. "I take it your lady doesn't allow littering?"

  With a nod, I said, "Yeah, that's one of milady's pet peeves."

  Marlena chuckled, then giggled, then laughed out loud. Krista looked at her as if she were nuts, which made Marlena laugh again.

  Krista looked at us and asked, "Idi Amin and Cubans? What was all that about?"

  "Back in Angola," said Andrew, "Amin supplied raiders. The Cubans supplied advisors and weapons. That's how we used to toast the bastards at happy hour."

  Marlena finished her beer and looked at Sue, who nodded, then Marlena also tossed her bottle over the side to its fiery doom and sat blinking away the afterimage.

  Sniffing and shaking her head, Krista muttered, "Bloody juveniles."

  Turning to Sue, Andrew asked, "What are they saying about what just happened?"

  Sue channeled fire and police radio traffic. We listened to someone agitatedly tell someone else that he wouldn't sign his name to such a report.

  "I don't bloody care if it really happened," he said. "We don't officially know how they got down and we'll let someone else ask them. You and your unit can report anydamnedthing you want, but don't expect me -- or my team -- to corroborate a story about flying people. That simply won't happen, Jarvis."

  He clicked off as Jarvis uselessly bellowed, "But it's the bloody truth! Kramer! KRAMER! Damn!" before he clicked off, too.

  Andrew thought their consternation was hilarious. Krista simply shook her head and looked at him as if he were an idiot. A few moments later we landed in the alley behind her office and began saying our goodbyes; all except Stephanie, who said she'd catch up with us after speaking with Krista.

  "You can't stay for a day or two?" asked Andrew.

  "Not this trip," I said. "We have some things to do Stateside. Besides, we didn't go through customs. They'd be pissed if we got caught here. How about next month? We can spend a few days acting like tourists."

  "Excellent. Just let me know when."

  Andrew and Marlena waved as Sue and I began lifting out of the alley. Krista and Stephanie simply stood watching us rise. Once we'd lifted about fifteen feet those on the ground were no longer within range of the flitter's field effect, so to them we seemed to vanish. All but Steph registered varying degrees of startlement.

  Keying my implant I said, "Steph."

  "Yes, Ed."

  "Thanks for not helping at the fire. Krista may have fewer doubts about PFMs now that she's seen a practical demonstration."

  "It seemed likely that you and Susanne could handle matters. Krista was quite frightened when you leaped off the flitter, Ed."

  "That just means that we made an impression that'll stick with her, Steph. Don't be afraid to startle people now and then. It keeps them alert."

  Precisely two seconds passed before she answered; it was a trick Steph had learned from Linda, I think, to show a lack of complete approval.

  "I'll be along in a while, Ed."

  "Take your time, Steph. I'll probably nap on the way back."

  Turning to Susanne, I said, "See if you can find an open currency exchange, please. I want to turn some Euros into dollars."

  The flitter changed course slightly as Sue nodded. A few moments later we descended to the street in front of a brownstone building that was surrounded by shops and restaurants.

  "The exchange window is just inside and to the left," said Sue.

  Eyeing the almost three blocks of restaurants and trinket shops, I said, "This area looks like a major tourist trap."

  "It is," said Sue, "But the currency exchange is open late. Would you rather use the exchange at the train station?"

  I shrugged. "No, this'll do. Maybe they'll surprise me with a good rate."

  Sue waited for some people to pass on the walkway below, then settled the flitter to the sidewalk very near the building. I hopped off and entered the building while still within her field effect, so none of the people outside saw me appear.

  They didn't surprise me; their exchange rate was kind of steep, but not truly outrageous. When I walked back to the entrance alcove, I keyed my implant and said, "All done, milady."

  "I can't land, Ed. There are too many people in your area. Step outside and I'll lift you aboard."

  As I walked out to the sidewalk I said, "Sounds good. Three suit on."

  Sue lifted me from the sidewalk just as an approaching woman's poodle stiffened and apparently stared straight at me, then began barking insanely. Did he see me? Smell me? Hear me? Whatever. The woman looked where the dog was looking and saw nothing. She must have thought her dog had gone bonkers. I lifted my feet as she walked under me, yanking the still-ranting poodle along.

  Once I was aboard, I said, "Other than politicians and various other criminals, there's probably no greater waste of skin and hair than a yappy, crappy little dog."

  Sue giggled and suggested that my opinion might be biased. I agreed that it probably was, given that I held even the least of cats to be generally superior to dogs.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Sue lifted us westward. The lights of London faded behind us as the lights of Plymouth became visible ahead of us, then plots of light that were some of the other major cities of southern Britain appeared. I opened a beer and put my feet up as we passed through layers of clouds and the stars became visible above.
r />   "Forty-four hundred miles or so to go," I said, glancing at my watch. "Miz Helmsperson, use an initial heading of about 280 degrees and hammer down, please."

  That earned me a querying glance.

  "Our initial heading will be 281.4 degrees. How did you know that?"

  With a grin, I asked, "You mean 'how did a mere human know,' don't you?"

  Faking a sigh, Sue sounded exasperated as she said, "Yes, I suppose so. Sorry."

  "Would you believe I have an innate sense of direction?"

  "Possibly, but not one that expresses itself in numeric compass degrees."

  I grinned as I pointed dead west and said, "That's two-seventy, exactly."

  Sue gave me a narrow, studious gaze. Pointing beyond the nose of the flitter, I said, "And that's the difference; just about ten degrees."

  Her gaze became positively examining.

  "Can't figure out how I knew, huh?" I asked with a grin. "Good."

  "Tell me how you knew our heading, Ed."

  "Nope. Gotta have a few secrets, milady."

  I let my eyes leave hers and fall to her legs.

  Sue's skirt drew itself upward an inch or so along her thighs as she said, "Tell me, Ed."

  "Nope."

  The skirt rose slowly another inch.

  "Tell me, Ed."

  "Nope. You can shorten that skirt all you want, milady. I may start to drool, but I can keep a secret."

  She laughed and stood up, then her dress disappeared briefly and reappeared. An afterimage of her splendid nakedness remained for a moment.

  I said quietly, accusingly, "Oh, hey, now; that's not fair at all, Sue."

  Grinning, she said, "Tell me, Ed," and flashed her dress off again.

  "Yeah, well, it isn't really that big a secret, I guess..."

  This time her dress remained missing for a full second.

  "Tell me, Ed."

  Shrugging, I said, "Well, I guess it doesn't really have to be a secret at all. I looked at my watch. Matched it with the stars."

  Sue came to stand a yard or so in front of me flashed her dress off for another few seconds, then said, "Thank you," then sat down in the pilot's seat.

  "Whoo. Thank you, milady. You're spectacular."

  "By design," she said. "Ed, you knew I could rescue that cat and everyone else on that roof. You also knew that there was an element of risk in going over there. Why did you feel a need to do so?"

  Giving her a small grin, I said, "You've seen my files, so I'm kind of wondering why you're asking me that."

  "Your files list incidents, not motivations. I'd prefer not to surmise about them."

  Sipping my beer for a moment, I said, "I've never been too clear about some of my motivations, either. I had the means and it seemed like a good idea at the time."

  With a little grin of her own, Sue said, "Insufficient data."

  "Huh. My last driver wasn't this nosy."

  "Yes, she was."

  "You said you didn't have access to all of her memories. How would you know?"

  Sue stood and put her hands behind her back, then stepped to stand in front of me as if at parade rest as she said, "I don't have access to all of Steph's memories, but I have enough to know that she quite often asked you why you did things."

  My eyes traveled from her ankles up her lovely legs, then farther up to meet her eyes before I asked, "The answers weren't in there? You can't figure it out?"

  "As I said, I'd prefer not to surmise."

  She smiled again as she said, "Your readings elevated very significantly when I walked over here, Ed. I like having that effect on you."

  "Well, try not to abuse your power, ma'am. I'm almost totally susceptible to women like you, you know."

  Sue grinned and took a half-step closer to me as she said, "Only 'almost'?"

  I drank some more beer and eyeballed her shamelessly for a few moments before speaking.

  "Sue, I knew that you could easily rescue everybody, pets included, but I wanted to give Krista a fairly dramatic demonstration of PFM usage; something that would end any skepticism she may have had about PFM's or Steph's itinerary."

  She snickered. "I think you may have succeeded. Were there no other reasons?"

  "What's making you ask about other reasons, Sue?"

  Looking up as if trying to recall details she sighed, "Oh, well, let's see; I guess I was just remembering how your readings spiked when that cat seemed ready to jump off the roof. I had no idea that you could move so quickly, Ed. You were out of your seat and off the flitter in less than two seconds. It almost seemed to me as if you lacked faith that I could handle the situation."

  "Uh, huh. You wouldn't be trying to tease me, would you?"

  With a small grin she said, "Maybe a little. Would you have reacted that way if Stephanie had been your flitter pilot today?"

  Shrugging, I said, "Very probably. It was an impulse, Sue. I like cats, you know."

  For a moment she studied me, then she nodded slightly and turned to return to her seat. I marveled at the humanness of her actions, knowing damned well that she'd been reading me as I spoke and that her field image could stand stock-still at attention for a century if she so desired.

  "You do that very well," I said.

  With a raised eyebrow, she asked, "Could you be more specific?"

  "Your 'human' act. You do it very well. I've kind of wondered for some time why you and Steph make such an effort at realism."

  Sue shrugged and said, "We're perfectionists."

  "You know what I mean. Why bother at all? You could get by with generalized images; something for people to focus on while they talked to you."

  She gazed steadily at me for a moment before speaking.

  "We AI's will have to live and work among people, Ed. It may not always be so, but that's how things are at present. Stephanie's experiences while developing her public persona show that a convincing human persona can make acceptance and interaction much easier and more comfortable for all concerned."

  Nodding, I sipped my beer, then said, "Uh, huh. Well, I suppose so. I don't think it ever mattered to me, though. Steph was Steph to me, even before she came up with her Ingrid Bergman face and that fabulous bod. They're great visuals, but I don't think I've treated her much differently because of them."

  Sue shook her head. "No, you haven't seemed to, but you haven't been meeting her for the first time when you interacted with her -- as others might be -- and you haven't been overly concerned with how others might perceive her or respond to her."

  The tone of her words seemed to leave something unspoken. I decided to wait a while to see if she'd say any more, sipping my beer again as I looked at her and considered what she might have left unsaid.

  The stars above were -- as always at high altitudes -- a glorious display. They were also boring as hell after a while. My nap in the afternoon hadn't been quite enough; I felt myself drifting into sleep and didn't bother to fight it. An argument woke me sometime later.

  Steph and Susanne were by the console, glaring at each other. What would those two have to argue about?

  Susanne seemed to be standing firm on her side of the issue, whatever it was. Stephanie stiffened, glaringly glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, then vanished in a puff of emerald smoke. Smoke? That's a first.

  When I looked at Susanne she quickly reached out to slap the lid shut on the console. It occurred to me that the console had never had a lid before, but while I was pondering that, Sue smilingly waved a hand over herself and her dress vanished.

  All she was wearing was the gold bracelet. She admired it briefly, then grinned at me. After standing splendidly naked by the console for a moment, apparently quite proud of herself, she then strode over to me. Although only six feet away or so, it seemed to take several strides of her long, lovely legs to reach me.

  Stopping maybe two feet from me with her feet slightly apart and her fists on her hips, she asked, "Well?"

  "Uh, well, what? You look great. Gorgeous. Beyond g
orgeous."

  "You don't understand," she said. "Steph said you wouldn't."

  "What don't I understand, Sue?"

  "Me. How I came to be and why."

  I shrugged as I looked her over.

  "Wasn't it because I needed another flitter computer?"

  "No, Ed, it's because you're you."

  "I saw you arguing. Is there a problem?"

  "Not anymore. Everything's fine."

  "God, you look real!"

  Sue suddenly entwined herself around me and kissed me fully. When she ended the kiss, she asked, "Was that real enough for you? Five minutes, Ed."

  Opening my eyes, I saw that she was dressed again as I asked, "Huh? Five minutes?"

  "Yes," she said, nodding firmly and making no sense whatsoever.

  Opening my eyes again, although I thought they'd been open, I asked, "What..?"

  As I sat up, the seat back rose with me. The seat? But I'd been standing..? A dream, and a damned vivid one. My nerves were jangling from the too-short nap. I moved to conceal the big lump in my lap, although it seemed pretty likely that it was far too late to hide the damned thing.

  I looked at Susanne and remembered her as she'd been in the dream, naked except for the bracelet. That didn't help to dispel the lump, of course, but it was an enjoyable way to wake up some more.

  Sue said, "I said, we arrive in five minutes, Ed. Now four and a half minutes. Why are you looking at me like that?"

  Shaking my head to clear it, I said, "I was dreaming. For a moment I wasn't sure I was awake. I'm still not sure."

  My foot nudged my beer bottle and I grabbed it to keep it from tipping and spilling.

  "Good catch. You're awake," said Sue.

  "You might say something like that if I wasn't. Prove it."

  Chuckling, Sue said, "You're the one with doubts, so you should be the one to prove it."

  I tossed the bottle over the side and said, "Um. Good point, but you might say something like that, too, milady. But since you're here, I guess it doesn't really matter a damn whether I'm dreaming or not."

  With a brilliant grin Sue put a fingertip to her cheek and lightly said, "Oh, I feel so appreciated, sir."