Drop of Doubt

by C. L. Stone

  “I thought you weren’t ready,” Luke said.

  “We’re not going to be ready by tomorrow if we have to go to school. And we don’t know what crazy thing we’ll end up doing. And she’s on lockdown. So fuck it. And she’s already said she wanted to go out on a date. We’ll just have to do it a little later.”

  “Gabe,” Nathan said.

  “Okay, fine. We’ll all take her out once, but after that, I’m going to start taking her myself. It’s only fair and you know you want to. You all won’t go with me to half the shit I want to go do, and here she is, willing to go. We’ll take her to that dance club. There’s that one near the mall.”

  Nathan shook his head. “We’re not going tonight.”

  “Not tonight. We’ll hang out here tonight. Tomorrow is her birthday. We’ll snag her after school and take off. Luke.”

  “What?”

  “Take one of your brother’s cars.”

  “I’ve got his Jeep out front,” Nathan said.

  Gabriel spun on him. “What? We’ve got the Jeep?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, why don’t we take it?”

  “Nope,” Nathan said. “No going out tonight.”

  “Yeah,” Luke said. “Besides, North will be here for his Jeep soon. He wouldn’t leave it with us for long.”

  “They might all show up tonight,” Gabriel said. He raked his fingers through my almost-dry hair, and caught a lock to spin around his finger. “So let’s do the group thing tonight. We’ll blow out a few candles, spank her ass, and do whatever she wants. And then the next time we get a chance, we’ll take her out.”

  Nathan reached over, picking up my hand from my leg and lifted my nails toward Gabriel. “The first thing you have to do is take this off her nails.”

  “Her nails look fine.”

  “I can’t bite with that stuff on.”

  “She could use a better color.” He tilted his head at my hand, taking it from Nathan. “But maybe I want to leave it on so you’re not fucking up her nails.”

  “I’ll mess with her hair,” Nathan said. “I’ll cut it.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Find something to take the polish off. How do you get polish off? Isn’t there something they do for that?”

  “I want to find another color,” Gabriel said. “Now that I’m looking at it, it’s bugging me. I don’t have nail polish.”

  “Let’s go get some,” Luke said. He jumped off the counter. “I want to go pick her up a cake. We’ll snag some polish and we’ll do that girly stuff.”

  Gabriel snapped his fingers and hooked an arm around Luke’s neck, dragging him out of the bathroom. “I fucking love you. Have I told you that lately?”

  “Guys. We’re on lockdown,” Nathan said.

  Gabriel waved us off, fishing keys out of his pocket. “She’s on lockdown. You stay here with her. We’re going to go get her stuff.”

  “We’ll be right back,” Luke said.

  Nathan stood in the doorway of the bathroom. I hovered behind him, looking around his shoulder as Gabriel and Luke collected what they needed and headed out the door.

  When they were gone, Nathan turned, stepping back a half step when he realized I was close behind him. He turned. “Those two are going to get me killed one day,” he said quietly.

  My eyes widened. “Should we stop them?”

  “They’ll be fine. I’m more worried about what North will do to me when he finds out I let them run around in his Jeep.”

  “How will he know?”

  “He always knows.” He smiled at me. “You’ll see. One day he’ll give you the eyeball, too. And then he knows everything you’ve done.”

  “He does that already,” I said.

  Nathan sighed. “Want to change clothes? I don’t like seeing you in that bloody shirt.”

  I followed Nathan into his bedroom. He flicked on the light to the walk-in closet and stepped aside.

  I stepped in, looking at the clothes in the back that Gabriel had chosen, and Victor had bought for me.

  “Wear those red shorts,” Nathan said.

  I found a pair folded up on the shelf above the racks. I took them off the shelf and held them up. “These?”

  “Yeah, those.”

  I found a cami bra top and some new underwear. I wasn’t sure if the top matched or not but they were comfortable and that was all I wanted tonight.

  “Here,” Nathan said. He lifted himself off of the bed and grabbed the closet door handle. “Just change inside. I’ll shut the door.”

  Before I could protest, he shut the closet. There was plenty of room, but I had an itchy feeling about closets. I ignored it. At least it wasn’t a shower.

  “So,” he said from beyond the closet door. The wood creaked, like he was leaning against it. “Did you really want to go out for your birthday?”

  I turned around, shivering from a little shyness since he seemed so close while I was changing. I slipped out of my clothes, trying to hurry to put on the new things. “I want to do things you like doing.”

  “We can do what you want to do, Peanut.”

  “I don’t know what I like.”

  “Huh,” he said. “You don’t even know what I like doing.”

  “Well, this is how I find out, isn’t it?”

  “I guess.” The light flicked off and on above me. “You done yet?”

  I opened the door. He was leaning with his arm up on the frame, and his other hand on his hip. The way he was standing caught me off-guard. I’d noticed the red T-shirt and the blue jeans he wore, but with his arm up like that, the muscles in his arm and shoulders were much more noticeable. My heart tripped in my chest at how handsome he was.

  His blue eyes swept over me. His face brightened. “Yeah. I like those.”

  “Do you want a pair?” I asked, smirking.

  He laughed and reached for my hand. “Come on, Peanut. Help me clean up the house a little before they get back.”

  I followed him back into the living room and helped him to collect plates and leftovers. When the pizza was put away and the plates were cleared, Nathan started up the sink and scrubbed the pan free of bits. “So how about this,” he said, focusing on the pan. “The next time we get the chance, you and I can go see a movie.”

  I leaned against the counter, my side touching the coolness of the marble. “Okay.”

  He grinned, glancing up at me. “No, no. You’re supposed to say something like, ‘That’s boring.’ And then we argue about what movie to watch.”

  I tilted my head toward him. “I haven’t been to a movie. Not in a theater. How am I supposed to know?”

  “Yeah, I forgot.” He put the pan aside and shut off the water. He dried his hands on a kitchen towel and tossed it over the sink faucet. He side stepped until he was standing in front of me. “I guess I should let you pick the movie, anyway. It’s for your birthday and your first time.”

  My hand fluttered up, my fingers hovering over my lips. “I don’t know what movies are out.”

  He grinned. He caught my hand, drawing it to his mouth. He opened his mouth, teeth parted, as if he were going to bite it. At the last second, his lips closed and he kissed my forefinger. “Please tell me you like horror movies.”

  Heat elevated at my cheeks. “I like horror movies?”

  “It’s October. There’s going to be a bunch out right now through Halloween.”

  “I guess you want to see them?”

  He dropped my fingers and planted his palms on the counter, one on either side of me. He kept them close enough that his arms were brushing my ribs as he hovered over me. His blue eyes locked on mine, the serious gaze deepening. “I want to know if you want to. Will you go to the movies with me?”

  My heart pounded. I felt myself nodding before I thought of an answer. I did want to. The idea of a movie, something normal, sounded exciting to me. It was his eyes that stole my voice for the moment. The most I managed was a soft exhale.

  The corner of hi
s mouth rose. “What’s your favorite movie?”

  I forced myself to glance around the kitchen just to find a thought and cling to it. “I’m not sure.”

  “What have you seen?”

  I couldn’t remember. “I watched one with Victor the other day. I can’t remember the title.”

  Nathan lifted one hand, traced a lock of hair across my cheek. His eyes seeking out mine as if to get my attention. He hooked the lock around my ear. The moment he released it, it fell back where it had been. He dropped his hand again on the counter. “Have you seen Halloween?”

  I shook my head.

  “The Exorcist?”

  “No.”

  “Night of the Living Dead?”

  “No.”

  His smile broadened. “Do you want to watch one tonight?”

  “Can we?”

  He laughed, his cheeks bunching in a really striking way. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

  I thought about it. “What’s your favorite horror movie?”

  His eyes rolled up to look at the ceiling, as if considering the answer. He lowered his gaze back down to me. “Probably The Thing or maybe The Shining. Or any zombie movie.”

  “Can we watch zombies?” Out of all the horror movies, I thought zombies would be easier to handle. They weren’t real, so I couldn’t imagine being scared of a person in movie makeup.

  His arm brushed against my ribs. I swayed a little in the opposite direction, wondering if it had been an accident. His other arm brushed up against my other side and I swayed back. He did it again until I was leaning back and forth, pushed by his arms. “Think you can handle zombies?”

  “Maybe?”

  He grinned. He leaned in, baring his teeth. His head tilted up, his mouth opened wide and he lowered his teeth to graze against my head, pretending to take a bite. “Gnar.”

  I laughed, putting my hands on his chest to push back at him.

  There was a crash of the front door bouncing open against the wall. “Honey, we’re home.” Luke’s voice called.

  “You’re not Honey,” Nathan said, smiling at me.

  “Nope, you’re Honey. They’re talking to you.”

  Nathan laughed.

  I made a move as if to go investigate what was happening at the front door, but Nathan clamped his palms down on the counter, his eyes teasing, warning that he was going to keep me there. I poked a finger at his chest to nudge at him, but he closed the space between us quickly, his mouth moved in toward my cheek. His breath fell against my ear. “Next week, we’ll go to a real movie. I promise. Just us.”

  I sucked in a breath, my heart fluttering. I wanted to.

  Luke came around the corner with a white cake box and a couple of bags under his arms. “Hey now, kids. No horsing around in the kitchen. That’s how we start fires.”

  Nathan rolled his eyes, backing up a step to release me. I glanced back at him, his eyes followed me. “What’d you get?” Nathan asked, though his eyes stayed on me for the question, and then slowly slid to Luke.

  Luke was plopping the bags and the cake box onto the table. He twisted the box around, finding the edge and lifting the top. “Check it out. There was a cupcake place up the road that was still open. We got sixteen different flavored ones.”

  I wandered over to stand next to Luke. Each one had a different topping, one had a strawberry on top, one had a plastic Batman ring dipped in the icing. The sizes of the cupcakes were huge.

  “We can’t eat all these,” I said.

  “Watch us,” Luke said. He started emptying the other bags, which had birthday candles, a lighter, and some plastic cups.

  Gabriel walked in, holding a couple more bags in his arms. “I think we picked up every color.” He shook the bags, and thick glass polish bottles rattled together.

  “I want the polish off her fingers,” Nathan said. “I don’t want more.”

  “I have no idea how to use this shit.” Gabriel dropped the bags on the table next to the others. “I want to experiment.”

  “At least we don’t have to be the guinea pig this time,” Luke said.

  I perked up. “Why not?”

  Luke grinned at me. “What? You’re going to paint my nails?”

  “Victor got a manicure this morning, too.”

  “Yeah, but I bet his nails aren’t polished pink.” Luke’s eyebrows shot up. “Although that would probably be hilarious.”

  “Let’s bring this all in the living room,” Gabriel said, picking up the bags of polish.

  “I’ll find that movie she wanted to watch,” Nathan said.

  THE ZOMBIE, FINGERNAIL PAINTING, CUPCAKE BIRTHDAY

  Later, when the opening credits to Night of the Living Dead started, Gabriel pushed the coffee table a little further away from the couch. Luke put the box of cupcakes on the table and gathered candles from the bags they’d brought in. Nathan sat on the edge of the couch. I settled gently into a spot next to him, unsure of how to help or what to do.

  Gabriel sat cross-legged on the carpet. He patted the spot in front of himself. “Come sit down here in front of me next to the table, Trouble. I don’t want to fuck up and get polish on the carpet.”

  I slid down onto the carpet and knee-walked over until I was kneeling by the coffee table. He gestured to me and I planted my hand on the table between us.

  Gabriel picked up my hand, tilting it. The fingernail polish shimmered in the overhead light. “I don’t know where to start.”

  “Just paint over the old polish,” Luke said.

  “Take off the stuff,” Nathan said. He stretched out on the couch, stuffing one of the couch pillows under his head.

  “I’ll take it off the forefingers if that’ll get you to shut up about it,” Gabriel said.

  “Yes. Do that.”

  Gabriel fished out a bottle of nail polish remover and a bag of cotton balls. He got up and planted himself next to me, facing the television. He patted his thigh. “I think you should sit in my lap. You’ll be able to watch the movie and I can see better.”

  I crawled over and Gabriel hooked me around the waist. I faced forward, my back pressed to his chest. “Like this?”

  He adjusted under me, reconsidered, and then pushed me until I was sitting on the floor between his legs. “Perfect,” he said. He picked up my right hand, looking over my shoulder at it. He released it long enough to dig in the bag. “Let me just pop one of these open. I want to see something.” He found a polish bottle and removed the wrapping, cracking open the top to remove the brush. “Hold your finger up, Trouble.”

  I held up my hand, my fingers spread out. Even with trying to sit still, my hands were shaking.

  “Stop moving,” Gabriel pointed the brush at my nail.

  “It’s not going to work like that,” Luke said. “She shakes too much.”

  Gabriel groaned. “Okay, slide off a second.” He returned the brush and popped me on the thigh. I climbed off. He sat opposite me at the coffee table. “Put your hand down flat.”

  “Here,” Luke said. He picked me up and planted me in his lap, scooting close to the table. I placed my palm on the table in front of Gabriel.

  Gabriel groaned. “Ah, hey, you just told me it wasn’t going to work so you could get her.”

  “Yeah,” Luke said. He wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing a little.

  Gabriel flicked him a perturbed glare. He cracked open the polish bottle and held the brush to my fingertips. He hesitated as a dollop of color hovered over my nails.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I don’t know if I like this color, either.”

  “Try it,” I said. “If you don’t like it, you can take it off.”

  He twisted his lips, and dropped the brush against my nail. He spread it out across my finger, but when he got to the end, some of the color caught under the nail and on my skin. “Shit, I did fuck up.”

  “Let me try,” Luke said. He reached for a bottle, finding a light blue and opening the packaging to the polish.


  “We’re not giving her rainbow fingers,” Gabriel said.

  “I just want to see what it looks like. Spread your hand out, Sang.”

  I plopped my right hand down on the table closer to where Luke could reach. He aimed for my pinkie, and swiped the color onto the nail. A second swipe almost completed the nail. He managed to get it on without the color spreading to my skin, but there was a small corner he couldn’t seem to reach at the lower part of my nail.

  “It’s a good color,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Luke said. “I like it.” He lifted my hand, looking at the nail closer. “Might just leave it like that.”

  “I’m going to change it,” Gabriel said. He had opened another color: orange. This time he was careful to wipe off any excess and used a more careful approach, painting the color over my fingernails.

  “Can I play?” I asked, picking up the baby blue bottle.

  “Stick your hand out for her, Luke,” Gabriel said as he dug through the bag and started placing all the bottles on the table. He started rearranging them by color.

  Luke made a playful groan, but he spread his palm flat on the table. I untwisted the top. I put my hand on top of his, to help steady, even though he was still. With a quick swipe, I managed to hit the majority of his pinkie nail. A couple more passes, and he had blue mostly on the nail, and only a dollop on the skin just below it.

  Luke lifted his hand, glancing at my work. “I thought girls were good at this.”

  “I don’t exactly practice,” I said. I took his hand, brought it close to my mouth, and started to blow on his pinkie to get the color to dry. After the day I’d been through, this was an easy task that was fun, and I felt so much better. I wanted to keep going. “Can I do the others?”

  Gabriel grinned. “Will you listen to her? She’s a girl after all.”

  “Adorable,” Nathan said from the couch. I glanced over at him, and he seemed more interested in what we were doing than the movie, which I’d forgotten to pay attention to.

  “Don’t mess up,” Luke said. He shifted, wrapping an arm around my waist to hold on to me while he plopped his other hand onto the table. “Do the other pinkie.”

  I held up the brush, aiming at the pinkie on his other hand. His hand started tracing along my side in a ticklish spot.