Drop of Doubt

by C. L. Stone

  “Oh, now you’re wondering?”

  My cheeks blazed with heat, understanding that he was angry with me but unable to figure out why. “What’s wrong?”

  He shook his head, staring down the lockers. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Gabriel?”

  He grunted, turned, his crystal eyes darkening as he looked back at me. The pain that radiated on his face cut through me as if he had cursed me. “Why haven’t you called?”

  My fingers found the dip in my throat. “Called?” How was I supposed to call him? We didn’t have any phones. What did he mean?

  He lifted a hand at me. “Forget it. It’s stupid.” He half turned as if to walk away, stopped again and turned back to square off his shoulders at me. “You know, when you and I were in your dad’s closet together, and I was holding on to you and you were ... well ... I thought maybe ... I felt something and I thought it meant ...” He grunted, raking his fingers through his blond locks, blending the strands into the russet brown. “But I guess it didn’t mean anything. I was fooling myself.”

  “Gabriel,” I breathed out. “I don’t ...”

  “I never see you,” he said louder. “I haven’t heard from you since then. Not a call. You don’t invite me over. You don't text me unless I text you first. You didn’t even invite me to the damn football game a couple of weeks ago. And when we were hanging out at your parents’ house, the night you fell into the dust pile, Kota was the one that told me to come over. Not you.”

  His words chilled through me as if he’d shot ice into my marrow. He thought I didn’t want to talk to him? “I see you all the time, Gabriel. You’re here with me now.”

  “It isn’t the same,” he said. “You’re going on dates with the others and hanging out and the only time I see you is at school or when we’re neck deep in something and under Kota’s orders. I can’t even get you for your fucking birthday.” He turned, dropping his bag and slammed his fist against the front of a locker. He snapped his hand back, waving it in the air like it hurt. “Shit.”

  “I’m sorry, Gabriel,” I said in a quiet voice, unsure of what else to say. I lifted a hand, stepping toward him. “Don’t be mad. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize ... There’s been so much ...”

  “They keep you busy? Yeah, I know.” He raked his fingers through his hair again and turned back to me, closing the distance between us. “I know it, Sang. Between school shit and the fake bombs and them taking you out for your birthday ... I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it.”

  “I wanted to invite you to the football game, but they said you were busy.”

  “That’s not the point, Sang,” he said, his voice cracking. “You could have at least called to ask me. Maybe I would have stopped what I was doing and went. Or maybe not.” He stepped forward, pointing a finger in the air toward where the guys had been sitting downstairs. “They aren’t me. Asking them to ask me, isn’t asking me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, unnerved. I wasn’t sure what else to say. He was right, I just hadn’t realized I’d been so neglectful until now. And I had missed him so much, but felt like I didn’t have a say in what I did. But I could have at least called. I realized last night, when he was grumpy about everything, that he was trying to tell me he missed me, too. I didn’t stand up for him. “I didn't realize ... I mean, I guess I thought of you as always being around. I realize now that wasn’t true.”

  “I don’t mean like in school.”

  “I know,” I said. “I was talking about ... It’s like the past couple of days I’ve seen you everywhere, even though you weren’t there.”

  Gabriel’s head jerked back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  How could I explain it? Didn’t I talk about Gabriel the other day with Adam at the spa? Didn’t I see his mural in Dr. Green’s office at the hospital? Didn’t I feel him around me in Victor’s closet? It was like he was always around, in a weird way. But he was right. The guys did keep me busy, and I could have called. “I ...”

  Before I could start to explain, a body whooshed in front of me, slamming Gabriel against the lockers.

  “Hey, faggot. Thought I’d never catch up to you, huh?” Greg shoved a hand up against Gabriel’s neck, gripping.

  I stepped forward to intervene, but an arm grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back. I caught a scent of menthol, similar to Greg’s but mixed with body odor. “Forget about me, Kinky shit?” said a familiar voice. Eric tightened his grip around my body.

  “Thought I’d never find one of you by yourself, huh?” Greg snapped at Gabriel.

  Gabriel chuckled low under his breath, his head down. “Nice to see you, too, guys. It’s been a while. Thought you dropped out.”

  “They ‘allowed me’ back but I was just here to give Sing Song a little present for putting me in the hospital.” Greg kept his hand against Gabriel’s neck. “Been waiting to get her alone. But I’ll take care of you.”

  A glint of something shiny in Greg’s hand headed for Gabriel, but Gabriel lifted an arm up to block it. The knife caught, opening a gash in his forearm.

  “Gabriel!” I called, but my voice broke after the first syllable. The upstairs floor was barren. We weren’t supposed to be up here unless we were heading to the library. And with the echoes in the hallway downstairs from everyone being inside in the rain, I wasn’t sure if anyone could hear us.

  “Run, Sang!” His leg shot out, aimed for Greg’s thighs, but Greg dodged, slashing out again with the knife.

  I yanked my body out against Eric, but he tugged at me, pulling me further down the hallway.

  Gabriel planted a foot on Greg’s chest, kicking him back. “Get him, Sang!”

  I reached up behind my head, grabbing a hold of Eric by the ears. I shoved my hips back into his groin. I yanked his head over mine as hard as I could and bent forward.

  Eric’s grip on me pulled me into the flip with him. He sailed over, landing on his back, but I ended up stumbling forward.

  Righting myself, I closed my hand into a fist and made contact with his stomach, just above his belly.

  Eric grunted in pain and released me, his hands clutching his stomach.

  “Run, Sang!”

  When I turned back, Gabriel was dashing down another hallway away from me; Greg was following.

  Eric was getting up. His eyes were wild. His hands felt into his pocket.

  He pulled out something silver. I thought for a moment it might be another knife.

  I started to run around him, in the direction Gabriel had run off to. I didn’t want Gabriel going off alone. I didn’t want to be alone and in my wild mind, I wanted to be near him.

  But the shape of the gun in Eric’s hand stilled my legs. A gun? A real one? The scene felt too surreal in that split moment and I hesitated.

  Eric lifted the gun.

  I made a circle in a full dead run, away from Gabriel, toward the opposite maze of hallways.

  Eric’s heavy footfalls followed me. He was shouting something at me, but the blood rushing through my ears wouldn’t allow me to hear.

  Out of habit, my fingers went to my chest, and dipped into my bra. No phone tucked away. I was alone.

  I dashed down a side hall, circled around and started down another one.

  “I’m only here for you, bitch,” Eric boomed after me.

  There was a loud crack. In my panicked run, I didn’t think of it as the gun going off, but I ran in the opposite direction of the noise. It was too out of place. They didn’t have guns in school. It was ludicrous.

  I zoomed down another hallway, this one dark, and dashed into the corridor. Why was it dark? Did they turn the lights off in the deeper hallways when the students were out?

  In the dimness, arms caught me around the waist and pulled me into the doorway of a darkened classroom. I was drawn into someone, held up against their chest. Fingers covered my mouth, smothering my attempt at a scream.

  I was about to bite, about to stomp and kic
k my way out of being held captive again, until a familiar scent of moss and berries filled me when I inhaled. I stiffened, stilled, aware now that I was meant to keep quiet and trust the person holding on.

  I was drawn further into the doorway, deep in the shadows of the classroom. I was pressed against the wall near the door. The fingers over my mouth stayed, but he adjusted me until my back was up against the wall.

  Victor’s face hovered over mine in the dark. His fire eyes were ignited, telling me what I needed to know: keep still. Keep quiet.

  I didn’t think we were hiding well enough. I was sure Eric had seen us duck into this room. I was sure Victor didn’t realize he had a gun.

  I was sure if Eric didn’t find us, he’d go back to Greg, looking for Gabriel.

  I wanted to say all this, but bit my tongue. Too afraid to say anything or make a sound in case Eric was nearby.

  Instead, I focused on Victor’s T-shirt. Without being able to look through the open doorway, it was the only thing that caught my attention. Victor never wore T-shirts. At least I’d never seen him in one. It was blue, and was a bit big for him. I was wondering if he borrowed it from Kota.

  No matter how hard I listened though, I couldn’t hear Eric. There was no way to know if he was still in the hallway close by, or if he’d wandered off.

  Victor released his hand from over my mouth. He silently dipped it into his pocket, picking out a phone. He used his body and mine together to hide the glow and punched at the screen.

  After a few taps, Victor had a glowing image of a school hallway. He tapped again and another hallway was displayed, also empty. A third tap and there was Eric’s back at the end, and he was walking off toward the stairs.

  Alarm seized me. “The guys are on the stairs,” I croaked out in a harsh whisper.

  “They’re not now.”

  “The other students...”

  “Princess,” Victor said. He pushed another button to show the stairwell Eric was taking. This one wasn’t crowded at all and the hallway it spilled out into was unfamiliar to me. “He’s taking the back way out.”

  “What about other students?”

  “He’s leaving. You don’t run after someone when he’s got a gun and he’s trying to run away. We can deal with him later if he’s trying to leave campus.” He punched buttons on the phone again, redirecting the camera to follow Eric. We watched as he made a dash for a path that lead off campus and toward the shopping center. “His house is a mile in that direction. I bet he’s going there.”

  “We have to find Gabriel,” I said. I wanted to ask him a million other questions, like how he knew I was there, but there wasn’t time. “Greg had a knife.”

  Victor punched his fingers at his phone again. He found what he wanted and nodded. “Come on.”

  Victor grabbed my hand, tugging me along behind him. I followed on his heels. He hadn’t shown me his phone, but the urgency in his voice and the way he squeezed my hand told me what I needed to know: we had to hurry.

  “Where have you been?” I asked him as we dashed down the corridors.

  “It’s a long story,” he said. His thumb traced over the back of my hand. “Sorry I missed your birthday party.”

  I huffed, wanting to tell him that wasn’t important. The boys were impossible to reason with.

  And how did he know about the party? He was gone.

  Two hallways away, Victor slowed, looking left and right down the corridor as if to get his bearings.

  At the end of one hallway, a figure loomed over another slumped on the floor.

  “Get off of him!” Victor’s shout echoed. “Stop!” He released me, running down the hall. The figure that had been standing started running down the hallway. Victor ran after him. The phone he’d been using dropped from his hands into my path “Sang!” he called out.

  I dashed forward, and then ran faster when I recognized Gabriel on the floor. I don’t know why I hadn’t seen him before. My wild, tired brain didn’t want to register the sight.

  I cried out his name, but my voice was so choked up that all that came out was a broken rasping. I cut it off quickly.

  I dropped onto my knees next to Gabriel. He clutched at his bloody thigh, his fingers hovering around a knife sticking out of his flesh.

  Wet tears blurred my vision. “Gabriel...” I managed to spit out.

  Gabriel grunted. “Sang,” he said, his voice gruff and pinched with pain. He sucked in a breath. “It’s not that bad. He only got me in the leg. It just hurts like a bitch.”

  “How bad?” My fingers tingled, hovering over his body, wanting to help but I didn’t know how. “Tell me what to do,” I squeaked.

  Gabriel sucked in air through his teeth, gripping and regripping at his thigh just above where the knife was. “Call the doc,” he said. “Don’t know if I should pull it out.”

  I ran back for the phone on the ground. I fumbled with it, punching at the screen and stabbing at Dr. Green’s app, pushing the green button. Did he have his phone with him now? I wasn’t sure this would work.

  “What’s wrong?” Dr. Green called into the phone after the second ring.

  “Gabriel’s been stabbed,” I said. “We’re upstairs on the second floor. He’s still got the knife in him.”

  “I’ll track you. I’m on my way,” Dr. Green said. “Stay on the line with me, Sang. Where’s the knife? Tell me exactly.”

  My hands flexed open and hovered above Gabriel’s leg, wanting to help and afraid to hurt. “It’s a couple of inches above his left knee, outer thigh.”

  “Like with Marc?”

  “About.”

  “Is he bleeding out?”

  “He’s ...” I couldn’t figure out what he meant. Of course there was blood.

  “Is there a puddle?” he asked. “Is the floor covered?”

  “His jeans are soaked. No puddle.”

  “Go ahead and pull the knife out.”

  “Shouldn’t I wait?”

  “Do it now. If the knife is heavy, it’ll tear him up if we try to move him with it still in his leg. Wrap up his leg to stop the bleeding as best as you can until I get there. Give the phone to Gabriel.”

  I passed Gabriel the phone. He shook his head. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

  I stabbed the button that put Dr. Green on speaker, dropping it on Gabriel’s slumped chest.

  “Gabriel,” Dr. Green said. “Let her pull out the knife.”

  “Like fucking hell!” Gabriel cried out. Tears dampened the corners of his eyes. “No one’s touching it.”

  “Let her do it. That’s an order.”

  Gabriel whimpered. He sucked in through his teeth several times in short breaths.

  “Stop hyperventilating,” Dr. Green called through the phone. “Pull the knife, Sang.”

  “Sean?”

  “Do it.”

  I moved my hand to Gabriel’s upper thigh to hold on to him. Gabriel put his hand on mine, gripping it as if wanting to pull it away. I hovered my other hand over the knife, but Gabriel knocked my hand back.

  “Meanie,” I called to him. “Let me do it.”

  “Fuck, Trouble. It hurts,” he cried out. “Don’t touch it.”

  “Please,” I begged.

  “Don’t—“

  “I swear, Gabriel,” I snapped at him. “If you don’t let go, I’ll tell Adam to cut off all my hair.”

  Gabriel grunted loud, yanked his hand away and released me. I wrapped my fingers around the handle of the knife and yanked before he could change his mind,.

  Gabriel howled. He ripped his hands away and covered his wound protectively. He seethed.

  “Good,” Dr. Green called through the phone. “Sang, check the wound. Make sure there’s no piece of his pants in the way and then tie his leg up tight. I’m almost there.”

  I lunged for Gabriel’s tie, tugging at the knot and releasing it from his neck. He sat back against the locker breathing deeply and watching me as I wrapped the tie around the deep gash.
r />   “Tie it off tight,” Gabriel said.

  I yanked on either end of the knot I made. Gabriel cried out as I did, writhing underneath.

  He drew in heavy breaths, as if trying to steady his breathing and ease the pain. I checked his arm, and while it had bled, that cut wasn’t nearly as deep. He must have just nicked him there.

  I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to say something to him. I hovered over him, wanting to help, wanting to take the pain. I wanted to run after Victor, too. And Greg was still running around somewhere. And what about Eric. Would he come back?

  Mostly I wanted to apologize to Gabriel. I wanted to tell him I wanted to go out with him. I wanted to go back and make a protest to Kota. Maybe if I had, if I’d spoken up, Gabriel wouldn’t have run off and wouldn’t be hurting now.

  Before I managed to say anything to Gabriel, Kota came flying down the hallway, trailed by Luke and Silas. Dr. Green and Nathan appeared behind them.

  Dr. Green knelt down, nudging me aside. “Let me see,” he said.

  Kota tugged my arm, getting me to stand. I wanted to watch Dr. Green, but Kota redirected my attention. “Who did it?”

  “It was Greg. Victor’s chasing him now. Eric was here, too. He ran out the back door. Eric had a gun.”

  Kota nodded. He snapped at Silas. “You and Nathan follow Eric. Keep at a distance. Don’t let him see you. If Hendricks has a tail on you, lose it. I’m going after Greg.”

  “Let’s get him to the hospital,” Dr. Green said.

  WORK AS THERAPY

  I rode next to Gabriel in the back seat inside Kota’s sedan. Victor had returned to us after Kota caught up with him. He drove now. I was pressed against the door as Gabriel slumped against me. Dr. Green was on his other side, propping up Gabriel’s legs. Luke was in the passenger seat. Nathan and Silas had taken Victor’s cell phone and were out trying to locate Eric. They wanted to confirm his location and make sure he didn’t return to school with a gun looking for any of us. They were to detain him if they had to.

  I didn’t like Kota going off alone but the others listened to him without question. There was no mention of calling the cops. During the drive, I wondered if anyone else heard the gunshot I was sure Eric had fired. Within the maze of corridors, with the crowds and everyone being downstairs, unless a teacher had lingered upstairs, maybe no one did. Or maybe if they did, they hadn’t realized what it was. The distance may have masked the sound somehow since we were down several hallways. If Eric had shot me, if Victor hadn’t caught up with me, or if he hadn’t followed me at all, I could have died up there and no one would know.