Someone Like You

by Karen Rock

  “Still holed up in your apartment?” Liam spit a few seeds into a napkin and dropped his rind into a garbage bag, his eyes never leaving Niall’s, his expression serious.

  Niall shoved his hair off his damp forehead. “Leave it, bro.”

  Liam stepped closer and lowered his voice. “Not a chance. As your older brother by three minutes, I want to hear that you’re getting out, working with people, maybe even dating the next time I visit. Got it?” Liam gave him a light punch and tried to grin, but it slipped off his face before it stuck.

  Niall glanced away and shrugged. He wasn’t making promises he couldn’t keep. “I heard you. So how’s the new job? Saved any stranded campers yet? Tranquilized any bears?”

  Liam’s low laugh rumbled. “Being a park ranger isn’t as exciting as that. Mostly I’m checking trails and filling out paperwork. You should come upstate. Visit.”

  “Maybe,” Niall temporized. He missed his brother, but unlike his twin, he’d had enough of outdoor life.

  “Shoot,” Liam exclaimed as he angled his head and peered over Niall’s shoulder. “Looks like Ma’s upset.” He started in her direction then stopped and turned back, his eyes direct. “We’ll catch up later before I head back, okay?”

  Niall nodded then watched his brother stride away. In the doorway to the family’s upstairs apartment, his mother turned in circles and wrung her hands, her eyes wide. He held himself back, wanting to help. But the last time he’d visited, she hadn’t recognized him. He wouldn’t risk getting her agitated like that in front of her relatives.

  His tense shoulders relaxed when Liam led her to a table full of her siblings, her sudden smile reminding him of the mother she used to be. How was it possible to miss someone who was still with you? Yet he did, more so now that she didn’t always know him. Maybe she sensed he wasn’t the man she’d hugged the day he’d deployed.

  He turned away from his family and scooped a plastic cup into an ice cooler. As soon as he finished this drink, he’d slip away, hopefully unnoticed. But when he raised a jug of soda to pour, his younger brother Conner sprayed him with a water gun.

  “Hey!” He lunged and Conner darted away, laughing.

  “Got you, loser!” But the boy sputtered in surprise when Niall closed the distance and dumped his ice down the back of Conner’s shirt.

  “You need to cool off, kid.” He ruffled Conner’s bright red hair.

  “I’ll be back, old man,” the teenager warned, stepping backward before turning and racing to join the rest of his cousins. Niall’s lips twitched. When he’d been Conner’s age, everyone over twenty had seemed ancient.

  “Knock knock.” His nine-year-old sister, Ella, rapped her knuckles against his leg.

  He looked down and couldn’t resist returning the wide smile that swallowed half of her tiny face. He tweaked her upturned nose.

  “Who’s there?”

  “Rita.” She clapped a hand over her mouth, but her giggle poured out anyway.

  He tapped his chin, giving every appearance of thinking it over, though she’d told him this joke on Memorial Day.

  “I give up. Rita who?”

  “Rita lot of books!” She lowered her hands and the gaps between missing teeth showed as she snickered again. “Will you read to me at bedtime, Niall? Pleeeeeease. You do the Beast voice the best, and I want to read about Belle.”

  He pictured socializing for the rest of the long afternoon, making small talk into the evening before he carried his yawning sister up to bed. But before he could shake his head, he caught her pleading look and softened. He couldn’t refuse Ella. Ever.

  “Yes,” he growled in his best Beast voice. “But you must promise to stay with me forever.”

  He held her tight until she broke free, laughing, and raced away, calling, “Never,” over her shoulder.

  Kayleigh’s laugh at their lunch the other day came to mind as he poured his soda. She’d seemed fine—strong even. He’d given her his best advice and had seen for himself that she was doing okay. Since he couldn’t reveal information about her brother, there was nothing else he could do to help. Nothing except think about how good it’d been to see her again ’round the clock....

  He bolted back his drink and returned Aunt Lucy’s wave. A few times, he’d considered returning Kayleigh’s calls about her business proposal before stopping himself. She hated secrets, and he held the biggest of all from her. Despite that, a part of him had wished things were different once he’d returned to his quiet apartment and missed her laugh.

  But avoiding her was the right thing to do. By not encouraging Kayleigh to follow a dead-end path, he was doing her a favor. Like her brother, she was rushing headfirst into danger with her risky start-up idea. And while he couldn’t take back what had happened to Chris, he could stop Chris’s sister from making a fatal mistake.

  So why, then, had he started researching dating apps? Sizing up the market? Even purchasing a few to investigate? It must be idle curiosity, since he had no intention of accepting her offer.

  Working with her wasn’t going to happen.

  Then, to his surprise, she appeared at their side gate. MaryAnne led the way, a tall woman with light brown hair beside her. Kayleigh, slender and graceful, followed holding hands with two boys, one too young to be in grade school. Were they her children? She’d mentioned an ex-fiancé, not an ex-husband. Something about the thought unsettled him.

  Wearing a white tank top that showed off her smooth, sun-kissed skin, and jean shorts that topped lean legs, Kayleigh looked good. Better than good. Without thinking, he took a step in the group’s direction.

  “Oh, there you are, Niall!” shouted MaryAnne.

  He flinched. Idiot. He should have bolted for the house the minute he’d spotted them. Later tonight, he’d set his sister straight about ambushing him with surprise guests.

  Before he could duck away, another brother, Daniel, tossed him a beach ball. He chucked it back to the group of preteens sitting in an aboveground pool and returned their wave. When he glanced back, the group had reached him.

  “Hi, MaryAnne.” He forced his eyes to skim past Kayleigh when they wanted to linger. “Kayleigh.”

  Her hands rested atop the two boys’ heads, and her eyes sparkled silver in the bright light. When a dark curl fell across her cheek, he watched as she tucked it behind her ear. “Hi, Niall. I ran into MaryAnne while visiting my grandfather, and she invited us over. It’s nice to see you again.”

  His stomach rolled and he took a short breath before nodding, his expression neutral. It was good to see her again. But if he showed her any encouragement, she’d corner him with her business presentation. Better to put some distance between them, fast.

  “Aiden’s got hamburgers and hot dogs over there.” He gestured to the grills. “Salads and chips are on the table.”

  “Hot dog!” the smaller boy shouted, and he bounced up and down. “I want one!”

  The older boy made a disgusted noise, his expression sullen. His thin arms crossed in front of his narrow chest, his longish, light brown hair hanging in front of his eyes.

  “Of course, sweetie. Give Mommy a minute.” The tall woman held out her hand, her smile shy but warm. “I’m Beth Renshaw, Kayleigh’s sister-in-law, and these are my boys.” She pointed to the older one. “This is Josh and my youngest is Samuel. Thank you for having us over.”

  “Niall.” He gripped her hand, then released it, his mind racing over these facts. Kayleigh only had one brother. Chris. So if this was her sister-in-law, then that meant—

  His eyes flew from Josh to Samuel to Beth. Chris’s family. Seeing them cut like a saw through bone. He’d heard that Chris was married. Had children. He’d even thought about going to Chris’s funeral to see them and to find out if Kayleigh needed support. But his emotions had been too raw. He’d worried that he’d l
ose control of them and spill his guts to the only woman he’d ever opened up to. Now here they were, the collateral damage of his thoughtless actions. Two boys without a father. A wife without her husband. His breathing hitched. He’d caused this, and the guilt slashed through his gut.

  “MaryAnne mentioned you served in Afghanistan. My husband was in the service, too,” Beth said softly, her large blue eyes dominating a narrow face. “We all appreciate your sacrifice.” Her eyes skimmed over the prosthetic limb showing below his shorts.

  “You’re a hero,” piped up the littler one. Samuel. He stepped close and reached for Niall’s prosthetic before his mother snatched his hand away.

  “No, I’m not.” His voice was more forceful than he intended, and the boy’s eyes widened. The older son, Josh, peered at him through his overgrown bangs, his squint sharp and assessing.

  “All soldiers are heroes.” Samuel picked at a scab on his elbow. “Mommy said so.”

  Josh snorted, and Kayleigh shot him a dark look that made the boy study his shuffling sneakers.

  Niall glanced from Beth, to Kayleigh, to a scowling MaryAnne. Time to go before he said more than he should. “Your dad was a hero.” He turned to leave.

  A tug on his shorts’ hem stopped him.

  “You, too. You, too!” Samuel jumped up and down. “Do you have a medal?”

  Niall pictured the Purple Heart he’d stuffed in a sock drawer. He couldn’t toss it, but he wouldn’t look at it either. He opened his mouth then closed it, his tongue sluggish, his brain full of white noise. Kayleigh’s hand fell on his wrist, and the warm pressure of her skin against his steadied him.

  “My daddy has two medals,” the youngster continued without waiting for an answer.

  “It doesn’t help us now that he’s dead,” Josh burst out. His eyes were wild around the edges, and he shoved fists into his pockets.

  Sam cried out, and Beth’s chest rose with a sharp intake of breath. Instantly, Kayleigh let go of Niall and bent down to whisper something in Josh’s ear.

  Niall rubbed the spot where Kayleigh’s hand had been, and silently agreed with Josh. Chris should have his life instead of medals, be with his family today. If not for Niall, he’d be celebrating his independence instead of resting in a cemetery. Regret sliced him like a sharp stone beneath swift water.

  “He deserves them.” It was inadequate, but all Niall could say, especially with Kayleigh’s gaze on him. Facing her was hard enough. Seeing Chris’s family, unbearable. It brought the same sick, breathless ache back to his chest whenever he thought about that day in Afghanistan.

  Kayleigh gave Niall an approving nod, then touched the top of Sam’s head. “Your dad was very brave.”

  “Or stupid,” mumbled the older boy. He picked up an abandoned straw from a table and began bending the end and releasing it so that it whipped his arm.

  “Josh!” exclaimed Kayleigh as Beth’s hand rose to her mouth. “Never speak that way about your father.” A deep sliver of anger ran through her patient tone.

  “What? Only an idiot volunteers to get killed.”

  “Daddy went to heaven,” cried Samuel before sticking his thumb in his mouth. Beth gently tugged it free and pulled him into her arms. Around them, the crowd hushed, and a few lowered their burgers.

  “He left us, idiot.” Josh whirled and stomped away. Before he ducked his head, Niall glimpsed pain underneath the boy’s angry expression, raw and bloody, like a wound too deep for healing. He’d lost his father, and his resentment was palpable.

  Kayleigh started after Josh while Beth picked up a shaking Samuel. “I’m so sorry, MaryAnne. We didn’t mean to ruin your party. Maybe we should go.”

  “No. No,” MaryAnne soothed. “Let’s get this little guy a hot dog, okay?” She led the way, and Niall heard his sister say, “Do you like cotton candy or sprinkles on your hot dog, Sam?” followed by the kid’s answering giggle. Leave it to MaryAnne to right all of the wrongs in the world.

  He stared after Josh and Kayleigh. Despite not having a plan or a reason, he followed them. What could he do? It wasn’t as though he could bring Chris back, reverse the past. Seeing the Renshaw family proved what he already knew. The wrong guy had died that day. A family had depended on Chris, while Niall had come home to...no one who’d really needed him. Fate had an ironic sense of humor he didn’t appreciate.

  Before they reached the entrance to the back stairs, Conner blasted Josh in the face with a water gun. Guffaws rang out amongst the younger pack, and Niall stiffened. Would Josh understand that they were just trying to include him?

  But the boy lowered his red, dripping face and charged, his forehead ramming into Conner, knocking them both to the ground. Niall’s military instincts kicked in. He rushed at the grappling pair and yanked off Josh before he landed another punch.

  Josh struggled in Niall’s arms, kicking the air.

  “Let me go!”

  A crowd gathered, Aiden pushing to the front of the pack. “Everything okay here?”

  Niall gave his brother a curt nod. “It’s under control.”

  Aiden put his arm around a protesting Conner and led him away, the rest of the kids following in his wake.

  Ella remained and stomped a ballerina slipper, shaking her tiny fist at Josh. “Fighting is for sissies!” she yelled, then raced to catch up with the rest of the Walshes.

  Beth shoved her way through the dispersing crowd and knelt beside her son. Her eyes searched Josh’s face for injuries. “What happened?”

  “Nothing.” Suddenly, the fight left Josh like water poured from a bucket, and he sagged in Niall’s grip.

  Beth held her son’s chin and forced him to look at her. “I told you. No more fighting.” Beth’s voice sounded more sad than angry, as if she and Josh had been through this before. Remorse forked inside. Chris should be here. Instead, Beth was on her own, parenting as best she could with a troubled kid.

  “He shot me!” Josh’s voice wavered, full of anguish.

  Sam flung his arms around Josh but staggered and fell on his backside when his older brother shoved him away.

  A wail rose from Sam. “Josh pushed me!”

  Beth’s eyes scanned one boy then the other, clearly conflicted on whom to comfort.

  Kayleigh stepped up. “Beth, you take care of Sam, and I’ll talk to Josh. Okay?”

  Sam clutched his mother’s leg, his shoulders trembling as he sobbed. “No fighting!”

  Niall flinched. Did Sam react so strongly to violence because he’d lost his father?

  A cold trickle of sweat traveled down his back. His mind shied away from the memory, which settled in his stomach with a sharp twist. When he met Kayleigh’s anguished gaze, he wished he could wipe away her hurt. Erase all of their pain. His actions that day had had a ripple effect, the rings of it traveling further than he’d imagined.

  Kayleigh marched Josh through the back entranceway to the upstairs apartment, and he hustled after them. He still didn’t have a clue what to do or say except that he couldn’t stand by without helping. Chris hadn’t left him behind, and he wouldn’t leave the fallen soldier’s family in crisis.

  He climbed the back stairs, then paused at the top of the landing. Voices came from the kitchen on his right.

  “I don’t care if I get kicked out of school,” he heard Josh say. “I’m not going to some stupid anger thing.”

  “It’s not stupid. And it’s called anger management. Your school said they won’t admit you next year if you don’t attend therapy to stop fighting. Do you want to leave your friends and go to public school?”

  “Who cares? Besides, you quit. Why can’t I?”

  A floorboard creaked, and Niall pictured one of them pacing, probably Kayleigh. She always moved when agitated.

  “That’s different,” he heard her say, her voice sou
nding uncertain. Was she second-guessing herself? “Sweetie, if you don’t control your temper, no school will keep you. If we hadn’t agreed to anger-management therapy, you would have been expelled.”

  Niall stooped to pet his family’s snoozing cat, Grinch, stepped over him and drew closer.

  “What’s the difference?” Josh groused. “I heard you tell Mom that you might not be able to pay for school anymore. So why do I still have to go to therapy?”

  In the long silence that followed, Niall pictured Kayleigh on the other side of the wall, struggling to answer. She’d always been a stickler for honesty, and she’d have a hard time leveling with Josh. And she hadn’t been forthcoming with him either. Her jobless situation didn’t just affect her. It impacted Chris’s family, too, since she helped to support them. A cold anxiety slowly grew in his gut. It galled him to imagine them suffering more than they had already.

  “That conversation wasn’t meant for you to hear. And I don’t want you to worry. Things will work out.”

  Her voice sounded less confident than her words, and Niall shifted his weight to his good leg, uncomfortable. He recalled all the unanswered voice mails she’d left. He hadn’t wanted to make her think that he would consider her proposal. But now his certainty was shaken.

  “Right.” A loud thump sounded. The kid’s fist hitting the counter? “Like the way everything works out. Dad. School...”

  Niall understood where the kid was coming from. To a boy who’d lost his father, life wasn’t his friend. Josh had a right to be angry, but that frustration should be vented on Niall, not on his mother, brother or aunt. He couldn’t let Kayleigh take the brunt of it. He’d heard enough.

  “May I speak with Josh?” Niall stepped into the large kitchen and Kayleigh’s eyes widened, her hand rising to a red, white and blue cat pin on her tank top.

  “Man-to-man,” he added, sending her a reassuring look that he hoped reminded her of their old friendship.

  She glanced between him and Josh, considering. At last her shoulders lowered and she shot him a grateful look that warmed him. “Sure. I’ll be around the corner in the living room.”