The Vampire Curse
Page 22
He turns away and I sheath the dagger, reaching for his hand.
“Lawrence…” I start, but I can’t find the words to comfort him without admitting that he is right about me.
“A third kill will make you a slayer. There has not been one in over a hundred and twenty-five years.” Lawrence removes his hand from my grip and walks back toward the manor.
I stare dumbly after him long after he enters the house. He loved her. He loved Rosalie.
One day I will admit the truth, and I will ask for his forgiveness. I shake my head. There is nothing in this world that could make up for what I did. I would still kill the bastard that claimed my mother and killed her because I would never forgive them.
The morning chill settles into my bones. I don’t entertain the idea that it could be my conversation with Lawrence that has caused it.
I sit down on the metal bench and look out across the lake to the forest that lies outside the property.
The lake should scare me after nearly drowning in it. I keep waiting for fear to strangle me in the dark hours of the night, to jump at every sound, to cower at every shadow—but I don’t. The gentle lap of waves is soothing.
“There you are,” Alaric says from behind. His hands come down to rest on my shoulders.
My eyes slide closed. The sound of his voice, like a caress, sends shivers through me.
Alaric walks around the bench and sits next to me with only a hand’s breadth between our bodies. He looks out at the small pond.
Warmth crawls up my neck at his nearness.
“You’ve been avoiding me during the days.”
“No, I haven’t,” I say too quickly, my voice shrill.
Alaric slowly turns his gaze to me and gives me a doleful look. “You have. But what I can’t figure out is why?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek and say nothing.
“Clara, you sleep in my arms—in my bed—every night. I have marked you twice, and I’ve been inside you.”
Demons and saints… why does the man have to say it like that? My face grows warmer and I think I might combust into flames in this very spot.
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Why not? It’s true, or would you prefer if I said we’ve fucked?”
I glare. “No.”
His eyes bore into me as he continues. There’s no way he misses my blush, which makes it worse. “You are the human I have claimed—you are already everything you should be. It’s natural for us to want to be near each other.”
“Am I needed for something?” I blurt, desperate to change the subject.
Alaric regards me. I’ve been cold and distant toward him during the past week, but willingly climb into his bed and have him hold me every night. I have no doubt my actions are confusing.
“Clara… you did not have to return if you wished to stay with your sister.” There is hurt in his words.
Stop being a coward, I scold inwardly. He deserves to know what is going on in my head.
“I know… that’s not it.” I turn to him, but my eyes stay locked on my hands as I twist my fingers. I blow out a breath and say, “I’m afraid I will lose who I am… that I’ll end up becoming nothing more than a warm body that only wants to please you. That all my thoughts will be of wanting you.” I bite down hard on my lip. I can’t believe I’m admitting this. “The aspect of being with you isn’t what bothers me… I would just rather it be on my own terms, not be forced on me by the mark.” By the time I finish speaking, my voice is barely above a whisper.
We are friends… wanting him will make everything more complicated.
Alaric hooks a knuckle under my chin and raises my head until I look him in the eyes.
Demon shit, this is so much worse out loud than it was in my head.
“The mark can only heighten emotions and feelings, not create them. Nothing will become of you that isn’t already there.”
“That’s just it. I’m not sure there is anything of me left. I don’t know who I am anymore.”
I should explain more. I should admit that all my goals and plans I’ve had for years are suddenly gone. But I think he already understands that.
“It's true that you've changed since you’ve come back,” he says.
My hand immediately goes to the spot on my neck where he bit me. Alaric gently takes my hand and lowers it before my thoughts spin out of control.
He shakes his head. “I mean, you are… softer than before.”
I freeze. Worried that Alaric will reject me for not being stronger. “I have,” I agree. “I’ve become… weak…” I look down at my open palms. “I feel lost.” The admission comes out breathy.
“Do not mistake softness for weakness. You can be soft and strong.” He takes my hand and entwines our fingers, his thumb makes lazy circles on my wrist. “You had a fight to the death with a cursed vampire and won. Do not think for one second that you are weak, Clara. It takes great strength to allow your heart to be vulnerable.” He pauses for a long moment then adds, “You have also changed me.”
I have changed him? He is a vampire, by definition he is eternally unchanging. He could be saying that to make me feel better. But something between us is shifting, though I don’t understand what.
“I did?”
He lifts my chin with a knuckle until I’m looking into those midnight blue depths. “It is a good thing. Life is change, and when you cease to grow and change, you die.”
He releases me, but this time, I don't look away. I hold my breath.
“I think we both needed it. Now we can continue to change for the better… perhaps we can even grow together.” Alaric stands and holds out his hand to me. I take it and let him pull me up. “Sometimes, you need to lose yourself to find out who you really are. Do not be afraid of that, embrace it.”
We stroll through the garden, back toward the manor.
“Do you want the final mark before we leave?” The question is so unexpected that I nearly trip over my own feet as I come to a stop.
My breath hitches and I squeeze my thighs together, thinking about what it would mean and the promise he made after the last time.
Yes.
“No. I’m not ready. I’m not—” I stammer. “You said I didn’t have to have the final mark… that the second would last a month. We still have three weeks.”
His hands slide over my shoulders, then glide up and down my arms as if trying to chase away a chill.
“You don’t have to explain,” he says. Then after a moment he adds, “I asked because my reason for seeking you out was to tell you we are to leave within the hour.”
I nod. “I will be ready.”
I have been ready for the last two days. My trunks are packed, and all I need are a few small items that will take less than five minutes to gather.
He suddenly looks exhausted. “Are you ready to play the game again? Everyone must believe you are fully marked. There is no room for failure.” Alaric’s gaze flicks toward the manor, toward his vampire guests. “We must play our parts better this time.”
“I understand.”
“No,” he says sharply. “Not only do you need to make the queen and the others believe it, but you must make me believe it as well.”
I nod.
He closes what little space there is between us, his hands roaming over me. Everywhere he touches leaves a trail of heat. The intensity is overwhelming, and I have to stop myself from moving back.
This is a test.
“We will make them all believe,” I say.
I place my hands on his chest and slide them around his neck as I rise up on my toes and kiss him. I don’t hold back. I don’t even need to try—I just stop resisting. As his mouth moves against mine, I moan. I forget for a second what this is until he smiles and breaks the kiss, pulling away.
“Good.” He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. “You and I cannot fail.”
I nod again. My throat is dry, but not from fear. I am not afraid of the unknow
n anymore.
I might be uncertain about what I want and who I am, but I don’t need to be protected. I don’t need to be saved. I can do those things on my own.
Of course, going deeper into this shadow world of vampires is terrifying. I’d be a fool not to think so.
I take Alaric’s hand in mine. I know I can do this with him at my side.
“It is an impossible task, and if we are found out, you will be taken from me. They will kill you if you are lucky.” He’s trying to scare me into understanding, but I already do. “You will be prey to them.”
“They will think I am nothing more than a helpless human.”
He flicks my pocket with the dagger. A crooked smile forms on my lips.
“You are anything but.” One corner of Alaric’s mouth ticks up into a matching smirk. “Let them underestimate you… and let them live to regret it.”
Continue the story in
THE VAMPIRE COURT
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Author’s Note
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Acknowledgments
Writing is a solitary occupation and yet, it takes so many people to breathe life into a book. And this book is no exception.
So in random order:
Thank you to Krys and Erin for having my back, my fellow atomic indies, my ARC readers, beta readers, husband, SmartFood spicy popcorn, my pups, and of course, you, my readers—thank you for your love and support.
Also by Ali Winters
The Hunted Series
The Reapers
The Exodus
The Moirai
The Fallen
Flirting with Death (A short story)
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Shadow World
The Vampire Debt
The Vampire Curse
The Vampire Court
Th Vampire Oath
The Vampire Crown
The Vampire Betrayal
* * *
In The End duology
Sound of Silence
Light in Darkness
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Stand Alone Titles
Army of the Winter Court
A Sky of Shattered Stars
Cast In Moonlight
About the Author
Ali Winters is the USA TODAY Bestselling author of several series filled with romance, magic, and adventure. She enjoys breaking down characters to build them up so they find their true strengths.
Her first love will always be fantasy, but she fully admits to being obsessed with coffee and T-Rex, and has a weakness for love interests that walk the line between gray and villainy.
Ali was born and raised in the PNW but now currently resides in the wastelands that time forgot, with impossibly cold winters, and summers that are too short. She spends her days with her husband and her two dog pack. (They have assimilated her as one of their own and since she’s the only one with opposable thumbs, have made her their leader.)
When she’s not consumed with creating magical worlds for readers to get lost in, she can be found walking, reading, designing graphics, and creating art in various mediums.
Connect with Ali online
www.aliwinters.com