Dire Shenanigans (The Making of a Man Series, Book 2)

by Andrew Wareham

  A messenger arrived two days later, bearing a sealed note from Peckham. Opening the sheet Dick discovered that it was neither headed nor signed - Peckham did not believe in leaving evidence for others to offer in court.

  'A price for the hillside would be Seven Pounds Sterling per acre. The lower land is very wet and must require drainage; Three Pounds Sterling would be generous. The gentleman is in immediate need of a little more than Five Thousands and has been regretfully refused a loan by the financial source afore-mentioned, nearly one month since. He may be assumed therefore to be in some urgent need of assistance. An offer of Six Thousand Pounds Sterling in ready cash must seem attractive, I believe.'

  Dick read the letter and made a mental resolve to offer five thousand flat and then allow himself to be beaten up. Meridew would thus gain some slight victory to sweeten the affair.

  He sent a message of thanks to Peckham and asked whether he would be able to point him towards an agent who would be capable of taking charge of the land if he should come to purchase it.

  Peckham would almost certainly know of a local gentleman possessed of a younger son in need of gainful occupation; he could do the man a favour in certain knowledge of reciprocation at a later date. It was often useful to a lawyer to have, for example, a local magistrate with a sense of obligation.

  Meridew arrived on his day and exact to the time they had agreed. Dick, in courtesy, was ready and had the single riding horse in the Burkes stables saddled and stood outside, the sole groom at his head and warning that he was 'lamentable fresh, not having been ridden sufficient in the past few months'.

  Dick glanced with some slight amusement at the beast - a gelding and past its best years, no more than a nag, a cob with an admixture of blood in its recent line. He had become used to the American ways of riding and bade the groom to lengthen the stirrups by what he considered an inordinate amount; he sat long-legged in the saddle, reins negligently looped in one hand, oblivious to the appalled silence.

  "Shall we proceed, Mr Meridew?"

  They made an amusing contrast for the country folk, Dick idling comfortably in his saddle, Meridew rigid-back and posting on a well-bred blood horse.

  "Takes me back to Kansas, Mr Meridew - day after day in the saddle, on occasion, little more than a walk but a good thirty to forty miles a day. I doubt this old nag would do for that sort of work, sir!"

  He did not make the obvious comment that neither Meridew nor his animal would last half a day.

  "You were a cavalry officer in America, Sir Richard?"

  "Mounted infantry would be more accurate, sir. Breech-loading carbines and revolvers our weapons."

  "Neither sabre nor lance, Sir Richard?"

  "Worthless in modern war, Mr Meridew. The horse is for transport, sir - it no longer has a place on the field of battle. As for cold steel - almost valueless, I fear. A rifleman in a trench will have no hesitation in polishing off a dozen troopers before they reach him with a blade. The breech-loader has changed the battlefield, sir."

  Meridew shook his head sadly - there was no longer a place for the gentleman in warfare, it seemed.

  They rode the land, where they could.

  The hilltops were open, low heathland - bracken covered where the gorse permitted - and obviously almost useless from any commercial sense.

  "Ploughed and seeded with good grasses, Sir Richard, and sheep could walk here, within a year or two. There are a few deer, as you see, sir - the land has some value or they could not feed from it."

  "Rabbits as well, I note, Mr Meridew."

  Meridew did not reply to that sally. He led the way down a faint track and into the bottom land.

  "Blackthorn; sloes; blackberry bushes in some profusion; willows by the waterway. Very picturesque, Mr Meridew, but not, perhaps, agricultural in its nature?"

  "Drained, sir, and perhaps reseeded in places..."

  Meridew surrendered, admitted it was little more than waste.

  "This land would require a number of years and a lot of money to make it into pasture even. I do not see, with my slight knowledge, that it could ever take the plough, Mr Meridew. Perhaps a few fruit trees on the higher sides of the dell; a plantation of willow for winter firing once the land is partially drained. More than that, I much doubt, sir."

  "It is better suited for a gentleman's park than for a tenant's farm, Sir Richard."

  "Which, indeed, is how you first described it to me, Mr Meridew. I would be interested to purchase it as such. One thousand and three hundred acres, I believe you said?"

  "And eighteen, sir, according to the deeds."

  "The hilltops worth perhaps six pounds per acre; this marshy expanse no more than forty shillings, I must imagine, perhaps no more than thirty-five in fact. One would need to take advice on the best price to offer, of course. Say five thousand pounds, cash on the barrelhead."

  Meridew needed more but had received no other offer, could imagine no other prospective purchaser. If he did not sell this waste ground then he would be forced to get rid of some of his income earning wheat fields, and that would leave him even shorter next year.

  "I was hoping for six, Sir Richard. Indeed, I must say, sir, that I am in urgent need of such an amount..."

  Such an admission was the last thing Dick had wanted - he had humiliated the man and now had to be very careful if he was not to have an enemy in the County. If he was to establish a family then he must be on good terms with his neighbours - and he was the newcomer, the man who must become accepted.

  "I am sorry to hear that, Mr Meridew, and I did not realise it to be the case. Between gentlemen there can be no haggling, sir! Will six suffice, sir? We will be neighbours for many years, generations perhaps, and a small favour now can be returned next century if need be! We must all stand together, I believe, sir."

  "We must indeed, Sir Richard! Six thousands will see me clear this year - and I much hope that my foolish son has seen the error of his ways!"

  "Gambling, sir?"

  "Cards and horses both, I am told - and he has no understanding of either. I am minded to make a spendthrift declaration in the newspapers, Sir Richard. I have told him so, but he does not believe me!"

  A notice in the London newspapers to declare that the young Mr Meridew was of age and that his father would no longer stand guarantor for his debts would leave the young gentleman bereft of credit in very short order. It was done occasionally and was regarded as scandalous, unbefitting the code of the gentleman - the sort of thing that a merchant might do, don't you know!

  "You cannot despatch him overseas, Mr Meridew?"

  "He is of twenty-two years, Sir Richard and would not go."

  "Have you a younger son, sir?"

  "Two in fact, Sir Richard."

  "And no entail?"

  Meridew saw where he was leading, regretted that his lady wife would hardly countenance disinheritance.

  "Make your Will would be my advice, Mr Meridew, and attest it and show it to the young man. Leave him the family house and not a penny besides in the document, and tell him that if he mends his ways for five years then you will reinstate him in your favour. Tell him as well that if he exceeds his allowance ever again then you will write him out of the family, gone and forgotten."

  "He will be outraged, Sir Richard, and what his Mama would say, I shudder to think."

  "He will break you if you do not bring him to heel, Mr Meridew. Was I you I would send him overseas, as I said. Offer him a thousand in his pocket and your good wishes in the colonies or his bare allowance and your disapprobation if he stays."

  It was very hard and, besides, he would be hard pressed to scrape a thousand together.

  Dick implied that it could be done, for a neighbour and friend.

  Book Two: The Making

  of a Man Series

  Chapter Nine

  Two months in Dorset, the new land bought and a hearty but surprisingly literate local gentleman salaried at three hundred to convert and maintain it as a park
suitable for a genteel young family to disport itself safely.

  "You will know this sort of thing, Mr Parkinson. Rides and gardens and heathland to walk with a shotgun and whatever it is that one is supposed to do in one's rural paradise."

  "Yes indeed, Sir Richard. Rather interestingly, Sir Richard, did you know the word 'paradise' originally to mean a garden?"

  Sir Richard did not, and cared not, but felt obliged to comment that it certainly was a very interesting fact.

  "You have prepared a budget, I believe, Mr Parkinson?"

  Rather reluctantly, he had; he feared it might be seen as excessive but he had done his best to pare it to a reasonable level.

  "The stream to be straightened and deepened to drain the land and a lake to be made for it to run into; twelve men for five years. Two horses and a cart. Stone and gravel by the load, how many can only be estimated. Three thousand pounds, or thereabouts. Two men to work the uplands, digging out gorse, cutting back the rough grasses and planting better seeds. Two horses, a cart and a hay cutter. Eight hundred for the five years."

  "Yes, Mr Parkinson. Does this include the planting of the reclaimed acres to grass and fruit and ornamental trees?"

  "Oh, indeed, Sir Richard - that is an essential part of the process! Trees especially will suck water out of the land. Additionally, there will be fish in the lake for the benefit of the young gentlemen and it is probable that ducks will find their way there, and one can encourage the water lily to grow, and possibly import certain exotic species of plant and wildfowl both, to the pleasure of the beholder."

  “There are deer on the hills, Mr Parkinson. They could be encouraged to stay to form an ornament to the park.”

  “They could indeed, Sir Richard, though one might need a gamekeeper to discourage poaching.”

  "Is it easily possible to find the men to do the work, Mr Parkinson?"

  "Too easily, Sir Richard. I could lay hands on ten times as many who will otherwise be forced to go into the towns or to join the colours or even go West."

  "Then increase the numbers employed in the first year or two, sir. Do the job more quickly and provide wages for more local families. You will be aware, Mr Parkinson, that the name of Burke is none too well loved in Dorsetshire, and not without reason..."

  Parkinson was forced to agree, but had no desire to be seen to pander to vulgar local prejudice, not while he wished to keep his own new and delightful occupation. He had expected to have been forced into articles with a local attorney on recent completion of his terms at Oxford, had known that he must seek a living of some sort, yet he had loved the Land all his life; this opportunity was heaven-sent and he would not jeopardise it by casual honesty. He hummed and hawed and managed to say nothing at all.

  "I wish to alter that state of detestation, Mr Parkinson. I may be my father's son, but I am not, I trust, my father!"

  That seemed a reasonable exposition.

  "We are to pay a wage of fifteen shillings a week, Mr Parkinson?"

  That seemed rather low to Dick but Parkinson defended his generosity.

  "We supply no tied cottage, Sir Richard, and they must pay rent on a place."

  "How many men will we keep permanently on the estate, Mr Parkinson?"

  "Six, sir."

  "Then build them their rent-free places, if you please. And not the tumbledown shacks I have seen locally, sir! Build in stone under tile or slate and at least of three bedrooms - for decency's sake!"

  "Certainly, Sir Richard. I have often deplored the accommodation offered on so many farms - two upstairs rooms, the children of whatever age and sex all to share the one tiny chamber with a single pallet. It is very wrong, sir!"

  "Select your six, Mr Parkinson. Be sure that each has a kitchen garden of a good size as well, sir, space for a few chickens, that sort of thing. Their wages are to remain at fifteen shillings and to rise after a number of years of good service. These men must boast that they are lucky enough to work at Burkes!"

  That done, Dick looked for the next task - the rural life was very slow, but he needed to be seen and had determined to remain for at least three months before he sought relief in the businesses in the North. Not that they offered too great an attraction, but at least they would keep him busy.

  He sat in the library and read again the letter received that morning from his affectionate correspondent, Elizabeth Parsons. There was no ambiguity, that was for sure. Did he care? Was his heart broken?

  "Not bloody likely!"

  He called for Briggs, told him that there would be no barbarous American appearing to upset the even tenor of his days.

  "How precisely do I go about a courtship in these parts, Briggs?"

  "Carefully, Sir Richard!"

  "Meaning what, sir?"

  "Never address the butler as 'sir', Sir Richard! It means that you must not be perceived to, as they say, 'play fast and loose' with a young girl's affections. The County misses are expected to be sheltered and ignorant of men - and some of them are, of course. When a courtship takes place then it is assumed that both parties expect it to end at the altar - one does not display an interest casually and merely to pass a few idle hours, sir."

  "Thus I must decide who is to be the fortunate object of my pursuit and cleave to that one alone, Briggs?"

  "You have met every single and eligible miss in this part of the County, Sir Richard. Make your choice and take pains to frequently meet her and charm her and her parents, sir. If necessary wave your cheque-book under their noses - most of the squirearchy will fall in love with money quite quickly, one has observed."

  It was a quiet reminder that marriage was not necessarily a matter of romantic inclination; a man with interests in various parts of the country could maintain a love nest elsewhere, or indeed more than one if he was so inclined. A match was to be entered into for dynastic reasons - a girl of the correct background for one's own circumstances to produce the desired offspring. 'Healthy, wealthy and wise' was the traditional ideal for the bride; to be the object of one's affections was not to be discovered in that list.

  "The Meridews are to host a 'Musical Afternoon and Dinner', Briggs, invitation received this morning. I had thought to find an alternative engagement but I think I must attend, to admire Miss Louise Sudbury at the pianoforte, which she certainly graces."

  He paused, offering Briggs the opportunity to demur, if he wished.

  "A good family, sir, and well-connected in this and the last generation. There are cousins to be found in a number of interesting places under government. A very suitable family to marry into, sir. If I might point out, Sir Richard, the library is but poorly served with books, and, of course, we have no music room."

  The young lady was renowned as being of a musical and literary turn of mind and she would have to be granted occupation for her spare time; the children would also benefit.

  "Both can be remedied, Briggs. The music room to be your commission, if it becomes needed; you will know who to send letters to. Books I think I may enjoy purchasing. Dorchester, I presume?"

  Dick showed himself at the Musical Afternoon and made it quite clear that he had come for the purpose of enjoying the performance of Miss Louise. Her parents welcomed him unreservedly but she seemed shy of him, almost unwelcoming in fact. He wondered whether her heart might not be given elsewhere but could think of no way of discovering if that might be so.

  He took tea sat next to the Sudburys, commented to her mother that he was much struck by her daughter's playing.

  "She is very accomplished, Sir Richard, and could not imagine life without a pianoforte to hand. She spends hours every day improving her skills and discovering and learning new pieces."

  "An admirable occupation - one that benefits all of her auditors, ma'am. A husband must take steps to ensure that there is a music room in his house, it would seem. A full grand, not a mere upright, as well, I would think. I have observed a German name on the pianoforte she is playing here, ma'am."

  "They are made in Lo
ndon, I believe, Sir Richard."

  "I shall bid my man to discover if that is so, ma'am."

  "You gentlemen have the advantage of the ladies, Sir Richard - your valets are all such knowledgeable gentlemen!"

  A gentle but unsubtle hint that he must present himself in smarter fashion? He supposed that he must accept the demands of local society; not all of the County kept valets, but the more ambitious would not be without them. A nuisance if it came to travelling overseas again – and, inevitably, he would go back to the States one day. That could be dealt with when it arose.

  "Useful for one such as myself, ma'am, still learning to fit into the demands of the society I now live in, and intend to become a part of."

  He bumped into the Sudburys in Dorchester a few days later, coming out of the bookshop as they walked down the street, the family together on a shopping expedition. They noted the seller bowing repeatedly and assuring Dick of his immediate attention - the books would be placed in the hands of the carrier that very day and the orders would be posted to London at first thing in the morning; all of the signs of a valued customer who had dug deep into his purse. They exchanged greetings and Dick walked a way with them, commenting that he kept the bulk of his personal library in his little house near Liverpool and had desired the local man to put duplicates into Burkes to save him carrying them about the country.

  "As well, Mr Sudbury, we are well served for publishers and authors in the present day and there are many new works to place upon one’s shelves. I do not know if you have favourites among today's writers, sir?"

  Sudbury had a few, but begged to suggest that Miss Louise was better read in the Moderns than was he. She was happy to talk to him and very willing to enter into a discussion of books, now that she had proof that Major Burke was able to read. Her Mama had as well assured her that the good major was in process of ordering a concert grand from London, quite possibly an instrument superior to her own at home.