Shadowed: A Hitman Mafia Romance (Team Zero Book 4)

by Rina Kent

  “Zoe is tired.” She picks me up and carries me to bed. She’s frosty. Her hands. Her expression. Her smiles.

  Everything about her is biting cold.

  Dad takes me from her arms. Shock seeps through my veins at the difference between him and Mum. His embrace is warm, and I feel protected.

  “I’ll put her to bed,” he tells Mum.

  “But—”

  “Close the door on your way out, Renee.”

  Mum meets my gaze. “Be a good girl, Zoe.”

  I nod quickly.

  After she’s out, I curl into a ball and face away from Dad. I stare at a flower in the wallpaper, hoping he’ll disappear. He has to go or Mum will take him away.

  “What’s wrong, petal?”

  I hold the sheet to my chin and screw my lids shut. When I asked him why he calls me petal, he said it’s because I’m small and he’ll call me a flower when I’m older. I want to turn around and hug him, but not with Mum here.

  He sighs. “I’m so sorry. I know I’m always away and I understand that you don’t want to reply to my letters anymore.”

  It’s not that I don’t want to. I don’t get them.

  “I placed copies in the time capsule. We’ll open it together when you’re thirty. Daddy will be an old man then, so you’ll take me at that time, deal?”

  Tears fall down my cheeks. I swallow the hiccoughs.

  “Zoe… I’m sorry your Mum and I fight all the time. Sometimes, adults have to be together and it becomes hard. But you’re my miracle, petal, so I don’t regret any of it. I only regret not being here for you. That will change soon, okay?”

  I let go of the sheet and slowly turn around. Daddy is sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me with deep affection in his grey eyes.

  “Sweetheart.” He wipes my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Why are you crying?”

  I push him. “Go away, Daddy!”

  “Zoe…”

  “Go away! Mummy will take you like she took Mr Chou. You’re a monster, Daddy. You have to be a monster!”

  He tenses but asks in a cool tone. “Mummy told you that?”

  “S-she said n-nothing.” I shake my head violently as tears continue falling down. “I’m Mummy’s good girl.”

  Dad wraps his arms around me. “Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I should’ve known that her instability runs deeper. I should’ve stopped this sooner. I’m so sorry.”

  “Daddy…” I sob loud in his warm embrace. “Daddy please take me with you. Please. I don’t want to stay with Mum.”

  “You won’t stay another second alone with her. We’ll move out of here.”

  I look up at him with blurry eyes. “Really, Daddy?”

  He wipes my tears with his knuckles and nods. “I’ll never leave you again. I love you, petal.”

  “I love you, too, Daddy.”

  The door swings open. Mum appears at the threshold with a relaxed posture, but her green eyes are cold. I shrink into Dad’s embrace and hide my face in his chest.

  “No one is leaving,” Mum announces in a cool, haunting voice.

  “Watch us.” Dad places a hand on my back and stands with me still hanging onto him. I wrap my arms around his strong neck with all my might. If he leaves me with Mum, I might never see him again.

  Dad pushes past my mum and down the stairs. Are we really leaving?

  “Jason!” Mum shrieks, running after us.

  I hide my face in Daddy’s neck and smell his cologne. I don’t want to look at her, but I can’t stop hearing her shouts or how her footsteps tap harshly against the wooden floor.

  When we’re in the lounge area across from the kitchen, Mum clutches Dad’s arm.

  This time, he stops. “We’re over, Renee. I didn’t want to take your right to be a mother, but you don’t even deserve that. What type of nonsense have you been telling a child?”

  “The truth about how you raped me.”

  I peek at Mum and she appears in her dazed state. She must’ve taken her pills.

  Dad’s face ashes. “How crazy can you be to tell a small girl that?”

  “I’m the mother of your daughter.” Her voice is smooth. Too smooth.

  “You’re not worth the word mother.”

  “Not like your precious Rachel, huh?” She laughs. “What does she have that I don’t, Jason, what? I gave you a child as she did. I loved you more than she did.”

  “You never loved me, Renee.” He sounds resigned. “I was only an item on your bucket list of obsessions.”

  “Give me my daughter back. She’s mine, not yours.” She smiles and holds her arms to me. “Come here, Zoe.”

  I hide my face in Dad’s neck. I’m feeling sleepy, so I close my eyes and drift away.

  “Zoe, you want Mummy to be mad?” she asks in a singsong voice.

  “We’re leaving. I’ll return to pack our things tomorrow.” I sense Dad walking. “Goodbye, Renee.”

  “You think you can leave me?” Her hollow laughter pierces through my sleepy haze.

  Dad sways and then we’re falling. The thud reverberates in the air like a crash.

  I’m on my knees, shaking my head. Dad is lying on the floor, also shaking his head.

  Daddy!

  I try to get up, but Mum’s frosty hands shove me down on my knees. The coldness seeps under my skin and melts with my shaking heart.

  “I can take the life I’ve given. Shh. Sleep now.” Mum’s haunted smile is the last thing I see.

  I wake up with Daddy’s holding me. I want to sleep, but he’s letting me go.

  No… No…

  Don’t leave me, Daddy.

  “I love you, petal.” His voice rips through the darkness. He throws me away. Something slashes through my arms and my legs.

  But he’s not with me.

  He’s lying on the kitchen floor. Mum is sitting on a chair, eyes closed with no care in the world.

  No. Daddy. No!

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I spring to my feet and reach Zoe in two strides. I’ve been barely controlling myself while she lies there, sweating. Her lids are shut so tight, it seems painful. Now that she’s spasming, I can’t fucking take it anymore.

  Mist places a hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. “She has to wake up on her own.”

  My fists clench as I hang on to my cool by a fucking thread. Mist goes on about ascending a staircase or some nonsense.

  Helping Zoe see past her childhood trauma was all that I’ve been thinking about, but seeing her suffer like this is worse than being cut open.

  Her bright green gates open fill with unshed tears. Sitting up, Zoe’s hollow, frantic gaze searches everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

  Once again, she’s like a frightened broken doll.

  I push Mist aside and crouch in front of Zoe. My hand covers her delicate one. “Are you all right?”

  She remains silent for long, scary seconds. I draw small circles on her hand to warm the cold, sweaty skin. If only I can take her pain away. I’ll cut myself fucking open if it wipes her tears away.

  A few more seconds pass by before Zoe meets my imploring gaze. Tears stream down her cheeks as she chokes out. “Daddy s-saved me… he’s g-gone… he…”

  “Hey.” I hold her by the back of her neck and pull her to my chest. Her fingers curl into my T-shirt as a sob tears from her throat.

  My fingers stroke her hair and I let her purge it all out. If whoever is making her shed tears were a person, I would’ve hunted them down and tortured them until they begged for death.

  Since killing isn’t an option, I offer her my silent support. I continue caressing the strands of blonde hair in a slow rhythm.

  I never wanted to protect someone as much as I want to shield her from the whole fucking world. Even my life never held much value. Dying is inevitable in our line of work so I only lived to die.

  Until Zoe came along.

  This isn’t mere love or obsession or possession. It’s all of those wrapped in a
consuming sense of being.

  She makes me feel alive and I’ll do anything to breathe that life back in her dying spirt.

  I hold her until her crying turns into hiccoughs and her breathing evens out.

  Mist has disappeared. No surprise there. She’s rubbish at the comforting thing — we all are. She can watch me drown in my blood with no problems, though.

  Once Zoe’s lids flutter closed, I try to place her head on the pillow so she can rest. She tightens her clutch on my T-shirt. I brush my lips on her forehead and she snuggles into me.

  Although I want to keep her here and be the one to take care of her, she needs more.

  No idea if it’s because of what she’s gone through or I’m that brilliant at driving, but Zoe doesn’t wake up during the entire ride. There isn’t even a stir when I take her in my arms and carry her inside Le Salon.

  Now that I think about it, she really gained some weight. She does look healthy, but I hope it’s not because some disorder shit due to the stress she’s been going through.

  “Zoe?”

  I turn around at Natalie’s voice. She stands near the entrance of the safe house, her petite frame almost unnoticeable. Her eyes widen in shock. “She’s… she’s alive?”

  “Got a problem with it?” No idea if she’s glad or disappointed.

  “Of course not! I just never thought I’d see her again.”

  “Now you do.” I leave her and walk inside the safe house and into my room. The same room where I used to fantasise about Zoe’s illusion during those months from hell.

  I keep the curtains drawn, allowing a sliver of the afternoon light inside and place her on the bed. I find a perfect position and sit by her head. For what seems like forever, I watch those delicate features as she sleeps. I’m hoping against hope that she found the peace she secretly yearned for, but even if she didn’t, I’ll be beside her all the same.

  First, I need to take care of the fucker Ink. The thought of being away from Zoe guts my soul, but if I want to be realistic, I’ll have to put that into consideration.

  One thing for certain, I’m never letting her fucking go.

  After an hour — or two — of watching her like a creep, she cracks her eyes open. I send a quick text.

  Zoe’s shoulders stiffen as she takes in her surroundings. Right. I never brought her here before. When her gaze falls on me, the green softens and she sighs.

  “Where is this place?”

  “My room in Le Salon’s safe house.”

  She brings the sheet to her chin like she’s hiding. “Why did you bring me here?”

  “She should be here any time now.” I check the text I just sent.

  As if on cue, there’s a fast knock on the door before it swings open. Elle appears on the threshold dressed in black shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt. Her hair is gathered in a ponytail, but a few strands stick to the side of her face with sweat. She must’ve been boxing.

  “Zoe!” She runs towards her friend, and I stand to make a room. Zoe hugs Elle, and then she’s crying again.

  Elle is her best friend, and I’m sure she’s better than me at comforting. I can try, but it isn’t enough. I don’t even know what the fuck the word ‘comforting’ means.

  I turn to leave. Zoe clutches my hand and mouths over Elle’s shoulder, ‘Thank you.’

  My fingers brush against her knuckles, then I let her go.

  Ghost is waiting outside the room. He’s only in shorts with a towel hanging over his shoulder. With the sweat coating his torso, the samurai warrior tattoo appears menacing. He must’ve been working out with Elle.

  He raises a mocking eyebrow. “Here I thought I’d never see you around here again.”

  “You.” I stab his chest with a finger. “We need to talk.”

  We end up in the empty bar after Ghost changed into one of his regular, sloppy suits.

  It’s hours before opening time so it’s only me, Ghost, and good old scotch.

  I pour him and myself a drink then go for the attack. “Does Elle know you plan to play superhero and offer yourself to Hades’ hell on a fucking platter?”

  Ghost’s hold tightens on his glass. “No. And you won’t tell her.”

  “Oh, I fucking will. I’ll publish it in the Daily Mail for her to see what a bloody idiot you are.”

  He slams his drink on the table and droplets soak the old wood. “The alternative will be Mist or Hawk. He almost went insane in that withdrawal. If he goes through it again, the next thing we see of him is his corpse.”

  “Then you’re all right with worrying Elle after she chose you?” I’m being an arsehole and I know it, but I’m ready to use any tactic to stop this nonsense. His guilt and his affection to Elle are the only weapons I currently have.

  “You think I actively try to worry her?” His voice bubbles with undercurrent tension. “I’d do anything to protect her, but Team Zero is my family. If I can do something to prevent their torture, I will.”

  “Fucked up loyalty for undeserving people, mate.” I drown half my drink until I feel the burn.

  “An unconventional family is still a family.”

  “You won't think the same when the other shoe drops.”

  “That’s not how the saying goes.” Ghost tilts his head. “It’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  “Same thing.”

  “Not quite.”

  We continue drinking before he says, “Don’t say anything to Elle. I’ll tell her myself.”

  “Tell her you momentarily lost your mind, but you’re all cool now and not going.” I raise my glass. “If Hades wants more money, wake the Sleeping Beauty Flame so he’d hack some.”

  “He can’t hack in big amounts. We’ll trigger Hades’ already suspicious side and have the other mafias on our backs.”

  “Then sell more shares to President Joe. He’s been drooling all over the new drug factory.”

  “He already owns twenty-five per cent. Anything more and Hades will notice.”

  “Ten more per cent won’t hurt, mate.”

  He shakes his head. “President Joe wants twenty per cent aside from what he already has.”

  “Negotiate with the greedy old man. You’re calm, and he listens to you better than to me.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Negotiating with President Joe is plan A. Surrendering to Hades is plan B.”

  We fall into a comfortable silence as we drink the bottle away. All my attention drifts back to Zoe. I hope meeting Elle will calm her down a bit. There’s also their police friend, that Liam wanker, but there’s no way in fuck I’m inviting him over. I doubt he wants anything to do with us in the first place.

  “One of Ink’s disciples came over the other day.”

  My drink almost falls from my hand. “What did he want?”

  He lifts a shoulder. “Just asking if we’ll help Ink out.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “We’re working on it. Mist will handle it this time.” He rolls his neck as if to alleviate tension. “I offered him to stay with us if he liked.”

  “Come the fuck on, mate. He could be Hades’ spy.”

  “I doubt it. You know Ink’s disciples’ loyalty to him. They’re like a clan.” His eyes take on a sadistic gleam. “Even if he’s a spy, we can feed him false information. A spy we know about is a useful spy. ”

  I take a swig of my drink and the burn does little to relax my tense muscles. I’m sure it’s a warning for me. Something like a ‘fuck you’ from Ink even when he’s behind bloody bars. He has his disciple next to me and if I don’t do as he asked, he’ll fuck everything up.

  I continue drinking, but I’m not feeling it anymore. My attention is divided between wanting to stay here for Zoe, Ghost, and Nonna, and not putting them in danger.

  After an hour of discussing the factory and the business with Ghost and Lachlan, I head to my room in the safe house.

  Empty.

  A strange feeling of unease settles in.<
br />
  I search for Elle and find her meditating with Scar in her room. No trace of Zoe with them.

  Both Scar and Elle sit cross-legged on the floor with their eyes closed. Scar’s vanilla-scented candles fill the air.

  I tap Elle’s shoulder. She opens her eyes and searches behind me. “Where’s Zoe?”

  “What do you mean where’s Zoe?” My words are slow, but tension rips in my tendons. “I left her with you.”

  Scar peeks with one eye. Her shirt today reads ‘Docile before Midnight.’ “I asked her to join us, but she said you wanted to see her.”

  “I didn’t.”

  Fuck! Please tell me she didn’t use that lie to escape.

  Elle springs to her feet and I’m already running out of the room.

  “Did she say anything?” I glance at Elle over my shoulder.

  “Nothing much.” Worry wrinkles her forehead as she keeps up with my running pace. She screeches to a halt, almost tumbling on her own feet.

  I stop, too, and walk over with careful steps. “What is it?”

  Elle’s face pales. “She said she wants to see her Dad again.”

  Her dead dad. Zoe wants to see her dead fucking dad.

  Chapter Thirty

  You’ve grown so much, petal.

  I keep showing your pictures to my mates and telling them that my daughter will grow into a beauty. They mocked me and said that since you look nothing like me, you’re sure to become one.

  Daddy loves you, baby girl. You’re the only reason why I come back home. I’m sorry I’m not there for you while you grow up.

  Once I secure your future, I promise to be there more. Wait for me, petal.

  Your Daddy,

  Jason.

  I hold the letter to my chest. All the other letters Dad sent me, and I never got them, lie on the grass in front of me. A strong wind hits my back and sends chaotic strands of hair into my eyes. I kneel at the back garden of Mrs Adler’s lake house. The first time I discovered we had this place in the neighbourhood was when Dad brought me here.