Help Me, Hold Me

by Barbara Gee

  “Did you talk to Boone about it?”

  Vince shook his head. “He was still in the heat of the season. I’m sure you remember the Wild made the play-offs by the skin of our teeth, and there was a ton of pressure on Boone to get us there.”

  “I do remember,” Callie said. “The Wild would have been in easily if you hadn’t gotten injured.”

  He grinned at that. “Maybe, but I was on the outside looking in. By the time the season ended and Boone got me to come to the Full Heart, I’d pretty much convinced myself I was done. I didn’t want to attempt a comeback and then fail with everyone watching and judging.”

  He scooped up the pancakes and poured the last of the batter into the skillet. When he set the empty bowl back on the counter, Callie picked up his right hand and turned it palm up, revealing the thin white scar that started a quarter inch under his pointer finger and arched up along the base of the other three fingers. Two tendons had been completely severed, and one partially.

  She traced the line with a fingertip and Vince tried to ignore the jolt of awareness he felt at her gentle touch. He closed his hand around her fingers for just a second, then let go and picked up the spatula.

  “You got past it somehow,” she said. “You didn’t miss a beat last season, starting with training camp.”

  “Yeah, Izzy got tired of me being an arrogant, cocky mess—that was my coping mechanism—and she wormed her way inside my head to figure out what was bugging me. Then she got Boone and Jolene involved, and the rest is history. They helped straighten me out. By the time the season started, I still wanted to play more than anything, but I knew I’d be okay if I couldn’t.” He looked over at her with a self-conscious smile. “That was the first time since I got drafted that I honestly believed that.”

  Callie gave him a beautiful smile as she reached for a smaller frying pan for the eggs.

  “That’s an inspiring story, Vince. I would’ve never guessed you’d gone through such a tough time. It makes me realize how invisible all that stuff is to us fans. All those real-life things you guys go through.” Her expression turned apologetic. “We treat you like you’re machines. We expect you to perform flawlessly every time you play, totally forgetting there’s a real person inside the player.” She put the pan on a burner. “It makes me feel bad.”

  He nudged her shoulder with his arm. “Don’t feel bad. All us Wild guys think we have the best fans in the league.”

  “I’m still going to make an effort to think of you as men and not machines.” She reached for the egg carton and gave him a sweet smile. “Scrambled or fried?”

  “Fried is great, as long as there’s no jiggly white stuff.”

  She chuckled. “Another thing Grandpa would approve of. He’d rather have hard yolks than jiggly whites.”

  “You got that right,” Jeremiah himself said as he shuffled into the kitchen. “If I wanted to eat raw eggs I wouldn’t bother with a skillet.” He gave Vince a long look. “How’d you wrangle a breakfast invite, young man?”

  “Morning, Jeremiah,” Vince said. “Your granddaughter was kind enough to give me my first riding lesson this morning, and now, as you can see, she has me working for my food.”

  “Good to know you’re capable in the kitchen.”

  Vince stacked the last of the pancakes and took his frying pan off the burner. Then he carried the plates and silverware Callie had set out over to the table. Jeremiah settled into what Vince assumed was his customary spot and took over laying out the place settings.

  “There’s orange juice in the fridge if you want it,” Callie told Vince as they carried over the plates of food.

  “Just coffee’s fine for me,” he said. “How about you, Jeremiah?”

  “Callie always makes me tea. It’s easier on my stomach. I missed coffee something awful at first, but I’m gettin’ used to the tea.”

  Right on cue, Callie placed a steaming cup by his plate and Jeremiah nodded his thanks. “This is a fine breakfast. Don’t feel bad if I don’t eat much of it, though. My appetite ain’t what it used to be.”

  Vince swallowed against the sudden tightness in his throat. Being reminded of Jeremiah’s illness got to him, and a quick glance at Callie showed her eyes were shiny with tears. She quickly went to the fridge for cream, and when she returned to the table and sat down she was composed again.

  Jeremiah said a long, heart-felt prayer over the meal, then they passed the food. Vince honestly didn’t think he’d ever had a more delicious meal. Maybe it was the company more than the food, because as they ate and chatted and laughed, he felt amazingly content.

  He ate six pancakes, along with two eggs and half a dozen slices of bacon. He insisted Great-Granny’s pancake recipe was indeed something special, and confessed he wished he’d secretly watched Callie make the batter so he could duplicate it.

  “Great-Granny would bring down curses on your head,” Jeremiah stated.

  “It might be worth it.”

  “Do you always eat this much, or did riding make you hungry?” Callie wondered.

  “Unfortunately, I always eat like this. It’s good I get paid well, or I couldn’t afford to feed myself.”

  Jeremiah laughed at he took the last bite of his second egg. Vince glanced at Callie and she smiled at him, her green eyes truly happy. It must have been a while since her grandpa had eaten more than one egg in a sitting. He’d also finished half a pancake, and a few bites of bacon.

  After they’d all had their fill, Callie insisted the two men go into the living room to finish their coffee and tea. Vince tried to help with the clean-up, but she stood on her tip-toes and whispered in his ear, telling him she’d rather he talk with Jeremiah for a little bit longer before heading back to the Full Heart.

  Since it was impossible to refuse her anything, especially when her gorgeous lips were all but touching his ear, he agreed, and followed the other man into the living room.

  “She likes you,” Jeremiah said bluntly as he settled into his favorite recliner.

  “You think so?” Vince asked, smiling. “I think she’s just putting up with me because you like having me around.”

  “That might be part of it, but you’re wearing her down. I can tell.”

  “I guess we’ll see,” Vince said. “She’s agreed to another lesson tomorrow evening, so that’s something.”

  “You should go to church with her tomorrow. I think you’d enjoy it.”

  Vince wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that suggestion. “Uh, she told me she doesn’t usually go.”

  “I’m sure I could get her to change her mind if it was a matter of helpin’ the new guy get introduced to everyone.”

  “Better not try to guilt her into anything else. I was planning to catch a ride with Boone and Jolene anyway. They already invited me.”

  Jeremiah nodded. “I’ll still see if I can get Callie to go. She only stays home because she feels guilty about leaving me.”

  “You sure you won’t be up to going yourself? You seem to be feeling pretty good this morning. Maybe tomorrow will be another good one.”

  Jeremiah cringed. “Even if it is, I don’t want to put myself through that. I haven’t been there in months, and everyone would make such a fuss. They’re well-meanin’ folks, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never liked causin’ a scene. It would wear me right out to get all those hugs and handshakes. Better if I just stay put.”

  Vince understood that. He didn’t like making a scene either, but it was something he’d gotten used to over the years.

  “Nice to know the people care,” he said.

  The older man nodded. “And nicer yet to know they’ll be there for Callie when I’m gone. She’ll appreciate the support of the group.” He shot Vince a sly look. “She’ll need her close friends more, though.”

  Vince shifted in his chair. “She has some good ones, from what I can tell.”

  “Yep. Some good girlfriends. And maybe a new friend, eh?”

  Vince chuckled softly. �
�Maybe, if you don’t push her too hard. I don’t think it would take much for her to run away from me screaming. Guys like me can be more trouble than we’re worth.”

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinkin’ over the past couple days,” Jeremiah said, undeterred by the warning. “Not that I haven’t been thinkin’ all along, but having you come into the picture has given me a few other ideas to consider. I might need your help with something that’s going to affect Callie after I pass. If I decide to follow through with what I’m contemplatin’, I hope I can count on you to help me out.”

  Vince placed his mug on a coaster on the coffee table in front of him. “Is this related to what you were talking about yesterday? The thing you found out a year ago?”

  Jeremiah nodded. “It’s directly related to that. Callie doesn’t know I’m keeping anything from her though, so don’t let on. Just tell me you’ll help.”

  Vince considered his answer for a moment. “I don’t generally agree to something unless I know exactly what it is I’m expected to do, but if it’s in Callie’s best interests, and you still think I’m the best one to help when the time comes, I’ll do what I can.”

  His answer seemed to satisfy Jeremiah. “All right then. I’ve got some more thinkin’ to do, but if I decide to go down that road, I’ll let you know.”

  “I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right thing for Callie.” Vince did believe that. He wouldn’t have agreed to help otherwise.

  “I hope you’re right,” Jeremiah said wearily. “I’m not taking it lightly, that’s for sure. It’s just a real tough decision.” He took a sip of tea and changed the subject. “So how long do you plan on playing hockey?”

  Vince shrugged. “I’m only twenty-eight, so as long as I stay healthy, I should have another five or six good years.”

  “Then what?”

  “I’m not sure, but I’m also not worried about it. I’ll figure it out when the time comes.”

  Jeremiah nodded. “I believe you will. Seems like your parents raised you to have a good head on your shoulders.”

  Vince rubbed the back of his neck and winced. “They’ve wondered at times, but I think they feel pretty good about where I’m at now. I’ve grown up a lot over the last two years, that’s for sure. I thought being traded to the Minnesota Wild was the end of the world at the time, but it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “The good Lord has a way of knowing what’s best for us,” Jeremiah stated. Then he grunted. “It’s hard to trust that sometimes, though. I should know.”

  Vince shook his head slowly. “I can’t even imagine what things have been like for you,” he said quietly, forcing himself not to shy away from the obvious. If he and Jeremiah were going to be friends, and if the older man wanted him to keep coming around, he couldn’t tip-toe around the fact that Jeremiah was very ill.

  “I could try to describe it, but that would be too depressing. Besides, it’s not me I worry about. It’s my girl. She’s strong and smart and she’ll be fine, but she’s been my world for so long, I can’t help but fret about leaving her on her own.”

  “Has she lived with you ever since her mother died?”

  Jeremiah’s eyes glazed over as he went down memory lane. “Before that. Tabby came back to the ranch when Callie was three, after being gone for years with hardly any contact. I thank God every day that Tabby came back here, that she was willing to give me and the ranch another chance. We only had two years before she died, though. It was a riding accident. She got thrown and hit her head on an outcrop of rocks.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jeremiah. You finally got her back, then lost her way too soon.”

  The other man nodded. “I was basically in a daze for the first week or so. Lots of people were worried about me. Some of them even offered to take Callie in for a while, but I couldn’t bear to see her lose her mama and her home both, even if it was just temporary. As it turns out, she’s what got me through that terrible time. I realized I had to get back to a routine, to make things as normal as I could for her. That snapped me out of it.”

  “I’m glad you had each other. I’m sure she needed you as much as you did her.”

  Jeremiah nodded, his expression still distant as he relived that hard time. Vince was glad to know a little more about what had happened to Callie’s mother, but he was left with a ton of questions. What had caused the years of separation between Tabby and Jeremiah? And what about Callie’s father, and her grandmother, for that matter? Was she dead, or were she and Jeremiah divorced? Vince guessed it was the latter and she wasn’t living around here, since neither Callie nor Jeremiah had ever mentioned her, and there were no photos of her in the house that he’d seen.

  He decided not to push for answers. If Jeremiah wanted him to know more about his family, he’d get around to telling him at some point.

  The other man cleared his throat and looked over at Vince, his eyes clear now. “I had Callie to pull me back from the shadows when Tabby died, but she won’t have a person like that. No one she has to get out of bed for, whether she wants to or not.”

  Vince tried to reassure him. “You said it yourself, Jeremiah. She’s strong. I’ve only known her a few days, but I can see it. The house will seem empty, and running the ranch will feel overwhelming, but she’ll learn to handle both.”

  Jeremiah rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “There are things I wish were different. Things I wish I didn’t know.”

  Vince swallowed. They were back to the secret Jeremiah was hanging onto. The one that was tearing him apart.

  “Don’t take this wrong, Jeremiah, but I think you should talk to someone about whatever it is you’re worrying about. Someone you trust. What about your pastor?” he asked hopefully. “I’m sure he comes by to visit.”

  “He comes regular enough, and I’m sure he’d listen. I’m also sure his advice would be to pray about it, and I’ve done that. Hundreds of prayers. The problem is, after all this time I still haven’t heard a clear answer.”

  “I get that, but it’s not good for you to stress about it the way you are,” Vince said bluntly. “Maybe the pastor won’t have any answers, but it still might help to talk about it. Put it out there and get his reaction.”

  Jeremiah fixed Vince with a steady gaze. “Maybe it would be just as good to talk to you about it.”

  Vince truly wanted to help the man, but being privy to a secret Callie didn’t know about didn’t seem like a good way to start off a relationship with her, which was exactly what he hoped they were doing.

  He sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “To be honest, Jeremiah, if it’s something I’d have to keep from Callie, I don’t think I want to know about it. It would feel deceitful, you know? I don’t want something like that to ruin my chances with her.”

  Jeremiah raised gray brows and nodded. “I appreciate that, son, I really do. But what if I finally got an answer to my prayers, and it’s you?”

  Vince sat up straight and shook his head slowly. “Um, I’m pretty sure I’ve never been anyone’s answer to prayer.”

  Jeremiah chuckled. “First time for everything.” He saw Vince’s concerned expression and waved his hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna jump the gun. I got some more thinkin’ to do, and I’m done talkin’ about it for now. Time for a nap.”

  He pushed the button to recline his chair, effectively signaling the conversation was over.

  Vince stood, relieved. “I’ll see you soon then.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Jeremiah said, his eyes already closing. “Oh, and look for Callie at church tomorrow. I’m gonna make sure she goes.”

  “Will do,” Vince said. Finally, a promise that would be easy to keep.

  He went back out to the kitchen, where he found Callie sitting at the table with a laptop and several stacks of papers. He took the chair across from her and she looked up and smiled.

  “How’s he doing?”

  “Talkative, but ready for a nap now
.”

  “I hope he can digest all that food while he sleeps, and doesn’t get nauseous. It was great to see him eat so much for a change, but his stomach certainly isn’t used to that.”

  “He seems to be feeling fine at the moment,” Vince told her. “Thanks for letting me join you. I’ll have fond memories of Great-Granny’s pancakes for years to come.” Also of spending more than two hours in the company of the girl he was falling for, but he didn’t say that part out loud.

  She laughed softly. “I’m going to have to hide the cookbook. You might be tempted to snap a picture of the recipe when I’m not looking.”

  “Not a bad idea.” He shifted in his chair, knowing he should be going but reluctant to leave her. “You working on ranch stuff?”

  “Always,” she said with a sigh, straightening up a stack of papers it appeared she’d already sorted through. “I’m converting Grandpa’s manual records to the accounting software his CPA recommends, and it’s really time consuming. But I’m learning a lot, so it’ll be worth it.”

  He studied her, wondering how she felt about the responsibility she would soon be facing. He decided to ask.

  “Does being in charge of the ranch scare you, or does it feel like it’s what you’re meant to do?”

  She looked at him again, her green eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “You’re kind of direct, you know that?”

  He shrugged. “I want to get to know you, and that means asking questions. You always have the option of not answering.”

  She raised her chin. “Does it go both ways? Can I ask you direct questions too, when I have them?”