Help Me, Hold Me

by Barbara Gee

  “They parked behind your car, Vince. You want to go out and make sure they know it’s okay to come in this door instead of going around to the front?”

  He went to the door and stepped out onto the deck, calling for them to come over there when they got out of their car. When they came up the steps, Vince relieved Jolene of the food she was carrying and led them inside where Callie and Jeremiah were waiting.

  A huge smile lit Jolene’s face when she saw them. “Thanks so much for letting us barge in on your evening,” she said, meeting Callie half-way and giving her a warm hug. “Hi, Mr. Green. I’m Jolene Kendall, and this big lug is my husband, Boone.” She shook Jeremiah’s hand and grinned over her shoulder at Boone.

  “Mighty nice to meet you both,” Jeremiah said. “I’m gettin’ used to having one big lug around, might as well make it two. And you can call me Jeremiah. I’m not much for the ‘mister’ stuff.”

  “You’ve got a beautiful place here,” Boone said warmly. “I’ve been by your drive and noticed the Double Nickel on the sign, but since the house and barn aren’t visible from the road I had no idea what was back in here.”

  “It’s gorgeous,” Jolene agreed. “The front porch is amazing. Is this the original farmhouse? Boone said he thinks it is, but I think it’s in too good of shape to be that old.”

  “It is original,” Callie said, smiling at her grandfather. “It’s a little dated, but we like it that way, and Grandpa spends a lot of time making sure things stay ship-shape.”

  “Learned it from my own dad,” Jeremiah said, not quite managing to hide the pride Jolene’s words brought him.

  “I’d love to see your horses later, if that’s okay with you,” Boone said. “My dad says you’re pretty much a legend in this area when it comes to training good cutting horses.”

  “I did my best when I was able,” Jeremiah said modestly. “Still have some good stock, but we’ll be lookin’ to sell off a few young ones now that I can’t work ’em myself.”

  “We sure are sorry to hear you’re having health issues,” Jolene said earnestly. “If there’s ever anything we can do to help out, please let us know.”

  “Well, bringing us dinner is a good start,” Callie said with a smile. She glanced at Jolene. “I think maybe we’d better feed the lugs before they get hangry.”

  Jolene laughed. “Oh, trust me, you haven’t seen hangry till you’ve seen a hockey player during the season. Boone can put away a kitchen-full of food and be looking for more a couple hours later.”

  “Come on, Jolene, don’t scare her off,” Vince said. “I need to make sure she’s madly and irrevocably in love with me before she learns the downside of being with a hockey player.”

  Callie pressed a hand to her heart. “There’s a downside?” she asked, feigning shock.

  “We’ll talk about that sometime when we’re alone,” Jolene said with a laugh.

  “I look forward to it,” Callie replied, grinning at Vince. “Grandpa, go ahead and take a seat. We’ll be ready to eat in a jiffy.”

  Jeremiah took his usual chair, waiting while the others carried place settings and food over to the table. When they all sat down, Callie looked at Jeremiah to see whether he was comfortable saying grace. She was ready to step in and do it herself if he seemed reluctant, but he bowed his head, gave the others a chance to follow suit, then said a short prayer thanking the good Lord for food and friends and another day to enjoy His beautiful creation.

  The Kendalls had brought an enormous pan of lasagna, more than enough for the “lugs” and the other three, along with salad and breadsticks. Jeremiah ate a few bites, then sat back and nursed the mug of tea Callie had made for him, seeming to enjoy being a part of the group even though he wasn’t eating.

  Callie was surprised by how comfortable she felt. She’d always been a little in awe of Boone and Jolene, and hadn’t expected them to be so down to earth and easy-going. They were both talkative and funny, and the deep bond between the two of them and Vince was very evident. Callie knew she’d been right when she’d concluded that if they had reservations about her, it would greatly influence whether Vince chose to continue the relationship or not.

  So far, though, she felt she was passing the test. They seemed to readily accept her and Vince as a couple.

  “Izzy said you and Tanner are tag-teaming for the stable boss again next week,” Jolene said, smiling at Callie.

  Callie looked at Jeremiah, then quickly away. “Um, that’s the plan.”

  Jolene seemed to sense her reticence to talk more about that, and smoothly changed the subject to what Boone and Vince had been doing at the ice rink. The men were excited by how well the first week had gone, and Callie found herself wishing she could be more involved in Vince’s work there. She didn’t allow herself to dwell on it, though. She never wanted to develop a mind-set where she saw Jeremiah as a burden. Each day with him was a blessing, and if she had to give up some fun activities to be with him during this time, so be it.

  When the pan of lasagna was almost empty, the guys finally pronounced themselves full. At that point Jeremiah excused himself, saying he’d had a busy day and was going to turn in early. He also told them to feel free to head out to the barn if they still wanted to check out his horses.

  “I’ll come check on you afterward,” Callie said softly as he passed her. She turned back to the table, where Vince was gathering up dishes to carry to the sink. “Do you guys want dessert now, or after we go to the barn?” she asked.

  Boone rubbed his stomach and winced. “I definitely didn’t save room for dessert,” he said ruefully. “I’d vote to wait until we come back.”

  Vince seconded that. “This is Great-Granny’s apple crisp we’re talking about,” he said solemnly. “We need to be able to do it justice.”

  Callie and Jolene laughed and shook their heads.

  “You guys take your food way too seriously,” Jolene remarked.

  “Only because I’ve already had Great-Granny’s pancakes, and if the dessert is anywhere near as good, we can’t treat it as an afterthought,” Vince explained.

  Callie patted his arm. “Great-Granny would approve of you, big guy,” she said fondly.

  They cleaned up the kitchen before heading out to the barn. They decided to walk, which gave Boone time to ask lots of questions about the Double-Nickel. Callie knew he hadn’t been raised on the Full Heart Ranch, hadn’t even known the Desmonds were his biological parents until just a few years ago, but he definitely had ranching in his blood.

  He was also very impressed with the Double-Nickel horses. His eyes widened when Callie introduced him to Apollo. When Vince told him Jeremiah was going to have to sell him to someone who could put the necessary time into training him right, Boone told him he wanted to be put at the top of the list.

  Callie’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious, Boone? Grandpa would love that. He’d love knowing Apollo was at a good place, and close to home. The colt has a great blood-line, too. I can give you a copy of all the paperwork for him if you want to look it over.”

  “That would be great. We’ve got a couple real good trainers at the Full Heart. Not as good as Jeremiah in his day, of course, but I think he’d be happy with their work.”

  “I’d love to see the Full Heart stables sometime. I’ve ridden by when I’m exercising the therapy horses, and it looks like an amazing operation. A lot larger scale than the other ranches around here.”

  “You just tell me when you want to come, and I’ll make it happen.” Boone gave Vince a wicked smile. “If this one ever learns to ride decently, the four of us could ride one of the ranch trails some evening.”

  “Name the date and time,” Vince said, rising to the challenge. “I’ll hold my own.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it,” Boone teased.

  They continued down the aisle, then made the turn and went down the next one.

  Boone leaned up against the last stall and nodded appreciatively. “You’ve got a good thing goin
g here. Have you been taking care of the horses since Jeremiah’s been ill?”

  “I do some, but Quinn Kerrigan comes almost every day. He’s a neighbor who’s been helping out for years. He’s great, but he’ll be going back to school in the fall. That’s probably when we’ll have to start selling some off.” Callie stroked the nose of the horse in the last stall. It was hard to talk about, but she knew she needed to face it. “There’s really no reason to wait until then, other than it’ll be tough on Grandpa to see them go. By fall, he might—” she broke off, then tried again, but couldn’t say the words. Vince came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

  “We get it, Callie,” Jolene said softly. “I’m so sorry. This has to be unbelievably difficult for you.”

  Boone nodded. “It’s so cool to see how close the two of you are, but I know that only makes it harder to imagine him gone.”

  Callie gave the horse one last pat, then cleared her throat and turned to face them. “I’ve had a while to get used to the idea. It just hits me kinda hard sometimes.”

  “So he pretty much raised you, right?” Jolene asked. “I remember hearing Kay Desmond say you lost your mom when you were really young.”

  “I was five, and yeah, Grandpa took over from there. It was just the two of us, but I was pretty close to the moms of my three good friends, so I wasn’t completely without female influence.” She smiled. “Which was good, since Grandpa got real jittery in the face of too much teenage angst.”

  “He did a lot of things right, though,” Vince said softly, sliding an arm around her shoulders and pulling her up against his big body.

  Jolene giggled. “You two are adorable. Remember when we were adorable like that, Boone?” she asked, looking up at him with a grin.

  “We’re still adorable,” he said, dropping a quick kiss on her upturned lips. “But it’s time to get all this adorable-ness to the house for that dessert. The lasagna has settled and I’m ready to reload.”

  Back at the house, Callie stuck the apple crisp in the oven to warm and started a pot of coffee.

  “Can you guys give me ten minutes? I just want to make sure Grandpa doesn’t need anything.”

  “Take your time,” Vince said. “We’re good here.”

  Callie smiled her thanks and hurried back the hall to Jeremiah’s bedroom. He was propped up on his pillows, watching TV as usual.

  “Hey there, Callie-girl. Did y’all check out my horses?”

  “We did and Boone was awfully impressed. He wants to be notified if you decide to sell Apollo anytime soon.”

  Jeremiah’s grizzled gray brows shot up. “You think he’s serious?”

  “Very serious.”

  “Well now, that might be a sale I’d consider. I’d like Apollo to end up at a place like the Full Heart.”

  “I’ll give him copies of the paperwork soon. He wants to talk it over with his dad.”

  “Ole Virgil won’t say no once he gets a look at that colt,” Jeremiah said confidently. Then his brows came together. “You’re going to help out with those therapy horses again this week?”

  Callie perched on the edge of his bed. “Only if you’re okay having someone from the home health agency come stay with you. Today was a good day and I know you’d have been fine on your own for a while, but if you have a day that’s not so good, I don’t want to leave you alone for that long.”

  He fixed his gaze on the TV, but Callie knew he wasn’t really seeing it.

  “I told Vince to tell you to go ahead and schedule someone,” he said with a shrug, which was probably meant to disguise the fact he was admitting she was right to not leave him alone. Which was also admitting he knew he was getting worse.

  “I know, but I wanted to hear it from you,” she said carefully. “If you’re not ready for a nurse, I’m not going to push it. I can tell Molly I can’t make it this week after all. She’ll understand.”

  Jeremiah waved a hand. “It’s going to happen sooner or later anyway. Probably sooner. Might as well get the first time over with. Won’t be so bad after that, I reckon.”

  He was doing it for her, Callie knew that, and it was all she could do to not give in to the tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She suddenly wondered if he thought she was giving up on him, which wasn’t the case at all. She’d help him fight until the end.

  Her throat felt thick and she swallowed hard before she responded. “Maybe we should just give it another week,” she said. “See how it’s going by then.”

  “Nah, just make the call. No sense in putting it off.” Although his voice was gruff, Callie sensed more simple acceptance than devastation. He looked away from the TV and met her sad gaze. “It’s okay, my girl. It’s time”

  “But if you’re not ready—”

  He held up a hand. “Call the nursing place,” he said decisively. “Just make sure I get a good one who isn’t all up in my business. Someone who sits and reads or something when I don’t need her. I don’t want someone yappin’ at me all day.”

  Callie had to laugh. “It could be a guy, Grandpa. Guys are nurses too, you know.”

  “Fine with me, as long as he knows how to mind his own business.”

  She laughed again. “I love you, Grandpa. I’ll call the agency tomorrow and see what they say. Now how about I go make you a cup of tea, then you can doze off when you’re tired enough. I’ll come turn your TV off before I go to bed.”

  “Tea would be good,” he said, already back to watching TV.

  Callie returned to the kitchen, her emotions threatening to get the best of her as soon as she left the bedroom. Jeremiah had made a huge decision, and she couldn’t deny it meant he was declining. She knew it, and he knew it. How much time did they have?

  That question went through her mind right as she entered the kitchen, and just like that, her eyes filled with tears and it was too late to hide them.

  The other three were seated at the table, and Vince quickly stood up.

  “Hey, Callie, you okay? What’s wrong?” he asked, quickly crossing the room to her. She wiped furiously at the tears but they wouldn’t stop.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, embarrassed to be causing a scene. “I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.”

  “We’ll be right back,” Vince said, steering her out the door to the deck, where he pulled her immediately into his arms. “Shhh, baby, what’s wrong? Is Jeremiah okay?”

  She nodded against his shirt, holding him tightly. “He’s okay.” She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “We talked about calling in a nurse. I know it’s time, and he’s finally ready to do it, but it also means he’s getting worse, and right as I walked into the kitchen it all of a sudden hit me that we truly might not have much time left.” She burrowed deeper into his chest, grateful when his arms tightened protectively.

  “We don’t know the timing,” he said soothingly, “but the most important thing is that he’s ready, you know? And I think he’s getting there. He’s not eager, but he’s ready.” Vince pressed his lips against the top of her head. “Getting a nurse is the right thing to do. He’s going to need more care as the days pass, not less, and you can’t do it all. Jeremiah recognizes that, so there’s no reason to feel guilty.”

  Once more she nodded. She knew this, but it still helped to hear him say it. “I’m glad you’re here, Vince. You’ve been so good for us both.”

  He pulled back and framed her face with his hands. “You’re both strong, Callie, you’d have been fine without me.” He kissed her lightly. “But I’m not going anywhere. You’re not alone, okay?”

  She loved when he reminded her of that. “Okay,” she whispered.

  “We’ll just take it a day at a time.” He wiped her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “You ready to go back in?”

  “Yeah.” She sniffed and nodded. “I’m sorry to leave Boone and Jolene in there alone. I didn’t know I was going to lose it like that.”

  “They understand, trust me.”

  She ga
ve a watery smile. “I can see why you guys are such good friends.”

  “They’re the best.” He wound an arm around her neck and drew her toward the door. “They like you too, I can tell. But there wasn’t really any question about that.”

  Callie gave him a one-armed hug. “Thanks. You make everything better.”

  He opened the door. “That’s the goal,” he said softly.

  CHAPTER 23

  Great-Granny’s apple crisp was a hit. Long after they finished it off, the four of them still sat at the table talking. Boone and Vince got started talking hockey, and Callie ate it up. She couldn’t believe she was sitting in her kitchen with Vince Abbot and Boone Kendall talking off-season trades and the draft, which players they’d love to add to their team, and which ones they’d hate to lose. She was living in a dream. A dream that included Vince’s arm slung across the back of her chair, his fingers toying with her hair as he talked. Was it even real?

  It was after ten when Boone and Jolene finally decided they needed to be going. Jolene gave Callie a hard hug at the door.

  “Thanks for a great evening, Callie. It’s been so nice getting to know you. You’re in our prayers you know. You and Jeremiah. We’ll support you in any way we can.”

  Boone also gave her a hug. “Stop by the rink when you’re at the retreat center this week. Check out how our boy here is doing.”

  “I’m planning on it.” Callie looked up at Vince and grinned. “I’m hoping I won’t get too star-struck when I actually see him on the ice.”

  Boone groaned. “Don’t say that. He’s already way too cocky.”

  Jolene gave her husband a gentle shove. “Not true. You know good and well Vince is one of the more humble guys on the team.”

  Vince chuckled. “Can’t say I don’t want to impress my girl, though.”

  My girl. Callie liked the sound of that. Their eyes met and she saw he liked the sound of it too. She gave him a soft smile before he reluctantly turned away to finish saying goodbye to his friends.

  “Six o’clock in the PT room?” he asked as Boone and Jolene walked to the door.