by Lari Smythe
* * *
I was still standing by the window when the sun touched the mountains on the horizon. A thin layer of morning fog from the creek wisped through the trees in the yard coating everything it touched with a thin layer of ice. Slowly the sunshine marched down the mountains toward the valley painting the pale shades of lavender with color.
Not sure when the Whitaker's would rise, I finished getting dressed. The brightening sky marked the slow march of time. It wasn't long before the radio in Jason's room came on, Mrs. Whitaker stirred. I'd remembered what Jason had said and mussed the bed, but I had spent the night next to the open window to control the irresistible scent that seemed to ooze from every nook and cranny of the house. There was a light tap at the door.
"Izzy, are you awake, dear?"
"Yes," I replied.
Before I realized what was happening, the door opened. "Oh my word, it's freezing in here." She stared at me, standing next to the open window. "You'll catch your death—" She stopped short, marched across the room and closed the window. I flinched away as she reached for me to steer me out of the room. "Why would you—I don't understand—I—" She dropped off and walked silently to the door, but stopped and looked back. "We'll be downstairs, you're welcome to join us, if you'd like." She started to close the door and added. "Please keep the window closed, fuel oil is very expensive this season."
This was beginning to feel absolutely impossible. There was the obvious, Jason's scent and my longing for his blood—then there was the just plain longing for him—obviously his mother wasn't thrilled with me or the whole situation—how was I going to feed—she was lurking around every corner. What if the sun had been shining on me when she opened the door? What then? There was no question I would have to be on my guard. With that in mind, I ventured downstairs.
"Hey!" Jason said, jumping up from the sofa. "There's my girl." He ran over to me and gave me a hug." How'd you sleep? Oh, you're cold." He turned toward his mom to continue. "You slept with the window open again didn't you? I tell you, I've never known anyone who likes the cold as much as you."
Mrs. Whitaker stared unbelievingly over her coffee cup. Obviously she'd said something to Jason, but I decided to play along.
"Nothing like the crisp winter air and the blankets pulled up," I said.
"Hey, you know what? We should go camping before school starts up again."
"Jason," Mrs. Whitaker warned.
"Ah, just a thought, no biggie." He reached down and grabbed a present from under the tree. "Here, Santa left this one for you."
Obviously Jason's little trip last night was to the store. "I didn't—"
"Hey, you let me bring you home, what else could I possibly want?"
I ripped open the silver, foil paper and held up a pair of Warrior blue sweatpants. "Thank you, they're perfect." I turned to Mrs. Whitaker. "Thank you."
Jason flipped another package at me and I snagged it out of the air before it hit me in the face. "It's the matching top," he said. "Go ahead, open it."
Jason tore into the rest of the presents like a little boy which seemed to bring his mother great joy. I suppose she was remembering past Christmas'.
Aunt Madd came out of her room an hour later and gave Jason a gift certificate to the local muffler shop so he could get his Jeep fixed. She and Mrs. Whitaker exchanged presents, which was a good thing since Jason had only bought his mother two. After the last present was opened, Jason had me hold the trash bag while he made basketball shots with balls of wrapping paper until everything was cleaned up.
"Oh!" Jason said. "I almost forgot, I have one more." He raced upstairs to his bedroom and returned with a large flat present. "This is for you, Mom. I asked a lot of you this year, and well—I just wanted to say thank you."
She was beaming, so pleased he had gone to extra effort for her. I nearly gasped when I saw what it was.
"Here, let me hold it up," Jason said as his mother pulled away the last piece of wrapping paper.
I eased away, not wanting to be too close to the photograph.
"I had it blown up," Jason said. "This is from when we were in Port Angeles, you remember?"
"Yes," she said. "That's Jessica and Isabella Newton with us." She turned to Aunt Madd. "Did you ever meet the Newton's?"
I glanced up when Aunt Madd didn't reply. She was staring at me, and then back at the photograph. Mrs. Whitaker noticed.
"She bears a striking resemblance to Isabella doesn't she—I think it's just the hair though. Isabella must be—what—in her mid to late twenties by now."
Jason shrugged. "Beats me." He winked in my direction.
This was exactly the kind of thing Elizabeth warned me about. How could I possibly stay here with a picture of me as a human? How long before someone figured out it really was me? What was Jason thinking?
Mrs. Whitaker gave Jason a big hug and thanked him. "Well, let me go and get breakfast ready."
"I went into the kitchen with her. "I'm not really much of a breakfast person," I began. "And last night, after we talked, I realized I still have some things at the house."
"Oh," Mrs. Whitaker came up short. "Well, I hadn't realized you still had things at home."
"I should go with you—just in case," Jason said.
"No. I'll be fine, it's just a few things. I won't be long." I started for the backdoor.
"Uh, you probably want to dress a little warmer." Jason not to discreetly hinted.
"Right, perfect time to try out my new sweats." I grabbed them, ran upstairs and changed. "Tada." I sang as I came back down the stairs. "They fit perfect, thank you so much." I started for the backdoor again.
"Ah, keys?" Jason said, reaching into his pocket.
"Right."
He tossed me the keys.
"That's the strangest little car," Mrs. Whitaker said. "What make is it?"
"It's an old VW Beetle," Jason said. "You know, like the ones they make into dune buggies."
"I do remember, they were cute, but not very practical for East Coast winters." She thought for a moment. "What happened to that pretty car of yours, the black one?"
"We had to leave it behind," I said.
"What a shame."
"You sure you don't want me to drive you?" Jason said.
"Nah, I'll be fine."
"Jason, you shouldn't be driving Izzy's car, you have the Jeep. If something were to happen there would be insurance issues I'm sure."
I escaped out the backdoor before Jason could catch me. I didn't think a goodbye kiss would sit well with Mrs. Whitaker. "I'll be back." I waved to him as I pulled away.
I changed as soon as I got home and headed out to hunt. The woods were quiet, but I had to remain very diligent because the leaves were off the trees now. A hunter with a scope and a keen eye might spot me. I was fortunate and found a large doe. As I consumed her blood, I wondered if this might be my Christmas tradition, a hunt. Hopefully, in the years to come, it would not be alone. I felt so isolated—I had no idea what was going on with my family. A part of me blamed Jason, if it hadn't been for him, I would have stayed with them. Not knowing was worse than being in danger.
With vampire perfection I had executed a clean kill, but I washed off before heading home anyway. I packed a bag, making sure to include only modest clothing—not that I had any sexy clothes, but I avoided the tightest jeans and deep V neck sweaters. No need to put Jason through any more stress than necessary—and certainly no need to fuel the fires of his mother's suspicion. Once I was finished, I went downstairs, but instead of leaving, I lingered. The house seemed so odd—removed—with the furniture draped in sheets. It looked more like a reflection of the past than the present, but it was the only home I remembered. I walked though the kitchen where Elizabeth had kept things very human and past the counter where she had left my papers for school. I went though the parlor where the family danced and where I had worn the hoop skirt and danced with Tink. I went up the stairs that once seemed like an escape route. I let my finge
rs slowly trace the broken plaster around my bedroom doorframe where Elizabeth and I had had a 'conversation' as Benjamin put it. Fear shook me as I walked into Benjamin and Elizabeth's room. I'd forgotten the face—and even in my recognition, I had not realized how prevalent it was in Benjamin's paintings. He thought he didn't know his attacker, but looking at the few remaining paintings—knowing what I knew now—there was no doubt he knew on some level. "Oh," I remembered, "the paint." I went to my bedroom and packed my body paints. They were odorless for the most part so I shouldn't have a problem using them at the Whitakers'. I was going to have to keep covered most of the time if I was going to stay with Jason and his mother—their routine was just too unpredictable. Could I really do this? I thought as I went back downstairs. Going to school was one thing, but living with humans a completely different situation. 'Like people living in the fields with cattle.' Is the way Alexander put it, and that was just to describe our general belief. Would he call what I was attempting, living in the barn with the cattle? Probably. The valley was almost dark when I left. The house being on the westward side of Lambs Knoll gave me a glimpse of the last shimmer of the sun as it sank below the western horizon.
The first thing I noticed as I swung around the corner into Jason's driveway was that his Jeep was gone. I cut of the noisy engine and coasted silently to a stop near the backdoor. Jason's mother and Aunt Madd were at the kitchen table, but they hadn't noticed my arrival.
"You're over reacting, Nancy, they're just kids and obviously very much in love."
"Exactly my point. Jason just turned eighteen—he's too young—and I don't want to hear about you and my brother—those were different times."
"She seems like a very nice girl," Aunt Madd said.
"Does she? She's a very troubled girl of that you can be sure—she's no good for him. Look what's happened—he left school to go traipsing off across the country after her—and I'm still not convinced she didn't do her little disappearing act on purpose—now this latest fiasco He was shot! If she really cared about him, how could she expose him to that kind of danger, family or no family?"
"Well as for the danger, maybe that was why she wanted him to go, for protection. Besides, didn't you say you agreed to let him go?"
"What choice did I have? It was very clear he was going with or without my permission—she's going to ruin his life if he doesn't—"
"They're young."
"But not children—there can be serious consequences to the choices they make—Why I found her standing in her room with nothing but a blanket wrapped around her—who do you think she was waiting for—in the room right next mine—can you imagine?"
"Well, I'm sure it will be better when she moves down to the guest room."
"Will it? I'm not sure how."
"Jason's a good boy, you and Tom raised him right. Have a talk with him if you think it's necessary, but he's going to grow up into a fine young man. Is this the first Christmas since Tom disappeared?"
"No, it's the second, but Jason and I realized this year that he isn't coming back."
And the subject of the conversation changed. I was pretty sure I knew how Jason's mother felt about me, but it was hard listening to her say it out loud. Everybody, including me thought this arrangement was a bad idea—well not Jason and I have to admit there was a part of me that didn't either, but we would both have to keep that part under control.
"Well, I really should be going," Aunt Madd said. Her chair scrapped across the floor as she got up.
"I'm so glad you were able to be with us this year."
"Just a couple of old widows—Oh now, I didn't mean it like that. You're young, healthy, I'm sure you'll find somebody."
I got out of the car and slammed the door as they started across the kitchen. We reached the backdoor at the same time.
"Oh, hello, dear," Aunt Madd said.
"I'm sorry I took so long. You're leaving?"
"Yes, dear, I have to get home. The ladies are coming tomorrow—it's tradition you know."
"Well, it was nice to meet you." I held the door for them.
When they were at the bottom of the steps, Aunt Madd turned back to me. "You and Jason make a stunning couple, but don't rush things, you have the rest of your lives to be together. I'm sure I will see you again. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," I echoed unconsciously.
I knew the spare room was available, but I didn't want to presume so I waited nervously in the kitchen for Mrs. Whitaker. Alone in the house with the mother whose son's life I was ruining—not good.
"Whew!" Mrs. Whitaker huffed as she came back inside. "You can really tell its winter." She looked up at my obvious indifference to the cold. "Well, I'll get the sheets changed in the guest room."
"No, please let me do that. It's the least I can do, you've been gracious enough just letting me stay here. I don't want to put you to any more trouble."
She smiled, one of those double meaning smiles. "That's nice of you. I'll just fetch the sheets then." She returned a few minutes later and I followed her to the guest room. "This room has a bathroom with a shower so you should be pretty much self contained down here. There's a dresser and closet—I don't think there is anything in the dresser." She opened each drawer to make sure and then went over and opened the bi-fold closet doors. "Well, I think everything is ready."
"Thank you, and I'm sorry you feel put out. If there was any other—"
"Nonsense," she said, but her embarrassed blush telescoped what I already knew.
"Well, I know it's a lot to ask, and I'm grateful."
"I think you'll be comfortable." She looked around the room. "Oh, that reminds me."
I waited at the bedroom door as she went to the kitchen and grabbed a large manila envelope.
"I almost forgot, Mrs. Hall dropped this by this afternoon."
"Cathy's mom, what is it?" I said as she handed it to me.
"I'm sure it's your makeup work—I didn't open it though—not my place. Well, I'll leave you to get settled in."
"Oh, Mrs. Whitaker, do you know when Jason will be back?"
"He went to 'hang out' with some of the boys from school. He said he didn't think you'd be back for supper. Would you like me to warm you up a plate?"
"No, thank you. I didn't want to intrude any more than I already am, hope that was okay."
"I understand. We all just need a little time to adjust. I'm sure everything will work out."
I turned to take in the room as she closed the door. I'd seen the bathroom, the dresser and of course the closet, but I hadn't realized there was a patio set beyond a short half wall. It actually doubled the size of the room. Beyond the patio set, the wall was lined with drapery. I pushed back the drapes to see which direction the room was facing and discovered a sliding glass door. Across a short strip of lawn, the woods, beyond that, the creek. This was better than I could have hoped for. With easy access to my room, I could slip out unnoticed to hunt. I unpacked and then sat down at the table to go though the packet of makeup work.