by Britney King
“I could fire you and solve that problem for you.”
“You’re the boss, I guess. But you could kill yourself getting down too, saving us both the trouble. I guess we could consider that a viable option three.”
She huffed dramatically and lifted the rope from around her neck. She let it go, placed her hand on her hip, and then nodded at the bottle of liquor at her feet. “Option four, you hand me the bottle and I’ll let you help me down.”
He eyed the bottle and let out a hard sigh. “I hand you that bottle and you’re getting down yourself.”
“Fine.”
Myles did as he’d agreed and placed the bottle in her hands. Then he put the tools back in their place, fled up the stairs, and took a long cold shower.
An hour later he went back down to the barn and found his new boss sitting on the table he’d left her standing on. She took a slow swig as she watched him come toward her. The table was fairly high, even at six-foot-two, he had to hop in order to perch himself beside her. He stared straight ahead as he spoke. “Trouble getting down, huh.”
She placed the bottle between her legs. “Something like that.”
A long pause had hung in the air before she spoke again. “I’m not crazy, you know.”
“That’s not for me to determine…”
“My husband left me.”
“It happens.”
“Not to me it doesn’t.”
He looked at her then. She was rather beautiful, he thought. Though definitely not his type. “The fact that you’re stuck on top of a table, drunk, and trying to kill yourself begs to differ with that sentiment.”
She turned toward him then and smiled a little. “Addison sent you didn’t she?”
“If Addison is Mrs. Hartman, then yes.”
“Myles, did you say it was?” she asked a puzzled look upon her face.
“Last time I checked.”
“I think I need your help getting down.”
Myles didn’t respond, he simply hopped up and scooped her into his arms. With few words between them, he managed to find her bedroom, place her in bed, and tuck her in. Sleep it off, he thought. You’ll feel better in the morning. Myles broke the first two of many rules that night. One, he entered the main house, and two, he found he actually gave a damn. It also wouldn’t hurt to mention—that night, he slept like a baby.
Chapter Seven
Jess ran the wet washcloth over her face once more and peered at her reflection in the mirror. Not too bad, she thought. Considering. She reached for one of the orange bottles on her bathroom counter, picked it up, and studied the contents. She’d need a refill soon. Hadn’t she just had this one filled? It was hard to say she finally decided. Each day as of late seemed not all too different from the one previous. Maybe she should do a better job at tracking her usage… she considered.
Jess popped two pills in her mouth and swallowed. She placed a glass underneath the tap, filled it, and quickly rinsed the bitter aftertaste away. Better. It wouldn’t be long and she’d feel better. She checked her reflection once more. Today is a new day. Today was going to be the first day of her new life, she decided. Since she’d attempted suicide and survived, she assured herself what better time than now, than today, to make a fresh start. Yes, a plan! Why hadn’t she seen this sooner? A plan was exactly what she needed. Jess considered this for a moment and promptly began frantically searching her bathroom and then her bedroom for a pen. She turned everything inside out and upside down looking. How hard was it to find a bloody pen in this place?
Upon hearing the commotion, one of the maids peeked in, her hand instinctively flew to her chest as she surveyed the contents of the room turned astray.
“May I help you with something madam?” the girl asked gently.
Jess straightened herself and eyed the mess she’d just created. “Yes. I would really like a pen. And a notepad.” She inhaled deeply. “Oh… and what time is it? Have the children left for school yet?”
“No, ma’am. They’re down for breakfast. It’s just seven o’clock.”
“Wonderful, then let them know I’ll be driving them today.”
The maid met Jessica’s gaze just briefly then nodded before lowering her gaze back down to the floor and closing the door behind her.
This was wonderful! The day was already shaping up well. Jess didn’t need a pen or a notepad, she decided. The plan had already begun taking shape in her mind. First, she would drive the kids to school, and then she would attend her first yoga class since… well, since… before.
It was time. She would get back to her regular routine, get herself in shape again, and then surely, Spencer would come back. She silently chided herself for not seeing things so clearly all along. It had been a week and a half since Spencer had walked out of their bedroom and seemingly, right out of her life. And Jess found that she missed him more than she considered she might that afternoon as she watched him pack his bags. She should’ve fought harder. He would’ve stayed, if only she’d asked.
Instead, he was headed to Africa for a month (maybe two) on a safari, something he said he’d always wanted to do, or so he had written anyway in an email sent the evening he left. He’d written her exactly three emails since that time, mostly all business, and what wasn’t business simply said to hug the children for him and give them his love. Neither Jonathan nor Catherine had said much about their father or his absence. It really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary to them. Spencer had never really been a regular staple in his kid’s day-to-day lives. His typical work day consisted of him coming home well after their bedtime and sometimes, he left before Jess woke them for school. But this had been during the ‘old days’ before the accident. After the accident, he hung around the estate more often, usually seeing that Jess’s needs were attended to and that all was running as it should. That’s not to say that he was necessarily around all that much either, the way Jess remembered it. Their property was a fairly large one and her husband had always been somewhat good at making himself scarce when he wanted to. In the beginning of their marriage, this bothered her more than it did after the children came along, once her days were filled with catering to their needs or seeing that someone did. It was just how things were as her mother had assured her time and time again. Men in their family tended to the family business, which really just meant ‘managed their wealth and investments’ while the women made their lives easy. In turn, this allowed them to do what they did best.
But Jess and her mother had differing opinions on what their men did best. The way Jess saw it, Spencer was best at smoking cigars, drinking the approximate amount of scotch so as not to overdo oneself all the while rubbing elbows with his elitist friends, friends of his elitist friends, and so forth. This isn’t to say that their marriage was unhappy— it wasn’t. They played couples tennis on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. They went to dinner with the Evans every other Friday. They had regular sex. Even if it was scheduled. Who wasn’t scheduling these days? Her mother had remarked when Jess once wondered aloud whether or not doing so was ‘normal.’ The two of them took regular vacations and though Jessica often fretted about the state of their relationship, there was nothing she could directly pinpoint that seemed amiss. Marriage served its purpose (according to her mother) and Jess always made sure to fill her time with interests of her own, which in turn, seemed to make her husband happy. He just needed a break, she decided, standing there in her bathrobe.
And today was a new day and this ‘break’ was an opportunity— at a new life, one in which her husband wouldn’t need to take a sabbatical from.
Jessica eyed the bottle of vodka at her bedside table and considered having a drink. Then she thought back on the previous night and where the drinking had gotten her. To Jessica’s frustration, she realized that it would’ve been nice if she had figured this new way of living out last night, prior to meeting the newest member of her staff. What in the hell was Addison thinking sending him anyway? Jess made a mental note
to add calling her best friend to the growing list of things she would accomplish today. The way that man had looked at her, with such irreverence, had rattled her. She still felt uneasy about it this morning. She then added ‘do something about the new staff member’ to her ever-growing list. But first things first. She marched into her massive closet and grabbed the perfect workout outfit to make herself presentable.
Jess was getting around these days pretty well. She still had a fair amount of pain and walked with a slight limp, which occasionally caused her to have to use a cane, depending on what kind of day it was. If she’d experienced a moderate amount of pain and needed to take more than the recommended dose of pain pills at her disposal then she would surely need to use the cane, if for no other reason than to steady herself and make it appear as though she were less high than in actuality. On the other hand, if it was a good day, such as today, Jess could manage on her own with a little help from the narcotics, which were all lined up on her bathroom counter. In addition to the pills, a nurse regularly made house calls to give her injections, and if it had been a particularly rough week, she’d receive a complimentary fentanyl patch. These were nice, this way she didn’t have to try to keep track of how many pills she was actually taking.
Jess dressed in her favorite Lulu Lemon yoga pants and tank top and pulled her hair up into a bun. She then added a touch of powder, mascara, and lipgloss to seal the deal. She eyed the bottle again before deciding against it and turning to study herself in the mirror. Not too bad. Considering. She stood a little taller, checked her appearance one last time in the mirror, and mostly satisfied, smiled at her reflection. ‘Operation: win her husband back’ had just officially commenced.
Jess checked the time on her phone as she pressed the elevator button. She frowned, no time for breakfast. That’s okay. She wasn’t really hungry anyway. They’d need to leave soon or the kids would be tardy. Finally, the door opened and Jess stepped inside. She pressed the down button and leaned her forehead against the cool glass mirror. Her head was now throbbing no doubt in response to the sheer volume of alcohol she’d consumed the night before. She fumbled around in her bag until she felt the smooth vial touch her fingertips. She pulled it out, counted the pills, and shook it for good measure, thinking one more couldn’t hurt. Just enough to take the edge off.
The elevator doors opened, and all of a sudden, real life hit her hard. Her senses were overloaded with the house suddenly coming to life. From the sound of her children arguing to dishes being washed and put away, noise filled the air. It was almost too much. She needed to get out of there. Jess rushed in to find Jonathan and Catherine sitting at the bar. “Hurry. Grab your things, we’re going to be late.”
Catherine clapped her hands instantly. “Wait. Mommy, you’re driving us today?”
Jess nodded. “I sure am. And then I’m going to yoga.”
“Yay!
“Shh.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “Make sure to tell Daddy all about it the next time he calls, okay?”
Jonathan shook his head, eyed her up and down, and then headed for the door.
Jessica watched him go when suddenly, Dean, the family butler appeared at the bar, followed by the maid who she’d asked to retrieve a pen. Jess couldn’t for the life of her remember the woman’s name. Dean spoke in a serious tone. “Mrs. Clemens, I’m not sure this is a good idea, you driving the children.”
“I’m not sure I asked for your opinion, Dean,” Jess replied sharply.
“Yes, I understand. It’s just that you haven’t been given clearance from the doctor to drive.”
She stood and waved him off. “I most certainly have. And, Dean… Watch it. These are my children. I believe I know what’s best for them.”
The butler pursed his lips and simply nodded as Jess reached for her daughter’s hand, smiled, and together, they bounced out the door.
Jess couldn’t recall what she and the children chatted about that morning on the way to school. She only remembered the relief she felt at being ‘back in the game.’ She did, however, remember running late and pulling into the parking spot clearly marked ‘McCain Family Parking’ which her former friend and Ladies Who Lunch President had heftily paid for in the school auction. She’d surely already come and gone, Jess decided upon seeing it empty.
It wasn’t like Shannon to be late for anything, ever. In addition, this year, according to her ‘new life plan,’ she would make sure to outbid the McCain’s for that spot by at least ten fold. In her old life, Jess had thought such a thing as bidding over a parking spot was ridiculous. But today was a new day and such a thing no longer seemed silly anymore, especially on the off chance that one were running late. Plus, Jess gathered, this was the sort of thing her husband would enjoy, him being the flashier of the two. Luxuries like this, for Spencer, always were about principle and status, and Jess considered for once that maybe her husband’s philosophy on ‘eat or be eaten’ might be somewhat accurate.
She would tell him as much, she noted mentally, as she put the car in park and eyed her children in the rearview mirror.
“You’re coming in?” her son asked, rolling his eyes.
Catherine waited expectantly for her answer.
Jess looked back and forth between the two of them before stopping on her son. “I tell you what. If you tuck in your shirt, I’ll let you get a one-minute head start. I’ll walk your sister in… since she’s not yet too cool to be seen with me.”
She winked at her daughter. “Boys.”
“I don’t like tucking in my shirt.”
Jess huffed. “Your father and I pay a lot of money for you to attend this school and that’s the rule here, so the least you can do is respect it… and our contribution to your future.”
Jonathan unbuckled his seatbelt. “But why is it a rule? Does anyone really know? I think it’s something that someone a long time ago made up and we all just follow blindly. Plus, you’re not exactly one to talk. I’m pretty sure that last name on the sign above this parking space isn’t ours…”
Jess considered this for a moment. He had a point. “If you want to challenge the rules, go ahead, son. But you need to be prepared with an argument a little bit more valid than other people bend the rules so I am going to, too. So long as you understand this—you can wear your shirt upside down and inside out for all I care.”
Her son shot her a look that only confirmed she’d missed the mark on so many levels. He raised his brow, climbed out, and slammed the door.
Jessica sighed. She needed to do something about him. His anger concerned her. She added this to her mental list, ushered Catherine out of the backseat, and grabbed her backpack. No sooner had she turned to close the car door, had she heard the honking horn. She turned slowly to see none other than Shannon McCain pulled up aside her, window rolled down. Great. So she was occasionally late. Jessica flashed her best shit-eating grin.
Shannon eyed her daughter up and down. “Hello, Catherine,” she said in a voice an octave too high before turning her attention to Jessica and lowering it by at least a dozen. “It’s good to see you’re feeling better and that you are out and about. But certainly, you’re aware you’re parked in my spot.”
Jess cocked her head to the side, glanced back at the ‘McCain Family Parking’ clearly noted on the sign, and then turned back toward her former friend. “Oh, yes, about that,” she lied, “I’m surprised that no one notified you… It seems that the school doesn’t have adequate handicap parking. I took the issue up with administration and until we can all come up with a better solution… it seems I’ll need to utilize this spot. It’s really a good thing I realized this before someone at the city did and had fined the school. They were pretty thankful. Those fines can be quite hefty I hear. ”
Shannon’s eyes grew wide and her face reddened. She frowned, exhaled rather loudly, raised her window, and sped off without so much as another glance in Jess’s direction.
Jess smiled at her daughter. She really should
have considered using the disabled angle before. It would certainly save her the time, effort, and money trying to outbid Shannon McCain. Her husband would be proud, she thought. She’d make sure to tell him all about it the next time they spoke.
The yoga studio was crowded by the time Jess arrived. She checked in at the front desk and proceeded into her usual spot only to find that it was taken. She quickly picked a new one, rolled out her mat, and carefully made her way down to the floor—a feat that proved more difficult than she had neither hoped for nor expected.
Jess focused on her reflection in the mirror, tried to make herself appear taller, and did her best to avoid small talk. She noticed a few sideways glances and there were a few brave women who approached her to say that they were glad to see her back, but for the most part, her fellow yogi’s simply avoided her all together. To those that did approach, Jess was courteous but made it clear she wasn’t really in the mood for small talk. Once she began stretching, she questioned whether or not she was really up for the hour-long hot yoga class. Sure, there would be several postures that she would need to avoid, if not most of them, now that she gave it some thought—the same way she needed to avoid many of the women in the room, but yoga was about mind-body connection and while her body may not work the way it once had, she settled on the fact that her mind was fine.
Jess settled in and reached for her toes. Instantly, she felt searing pain. Perhaps this was a bad idea, she considered. Too much. Too soon. But she wasn’t leaving now that everyone had seen her arrive. People talk. She could do hard things, she silently assured herself. She had to do hard things if she wanted to get her life back on track.
To help get her through, she reached into her bag and grasped the pill bottle in her hand. With the other, she twisted the cap and calmly fished a pill out. She glanced around the room and noticed a few women quickly averted their gaze. Calm down. No one had seen the bottle, she noted. They’re just rudely curious about the gimp who thought it would be a good idea to show up for yoga. Jess looked around the room once more, and satisfied that no one seemed to be paying her any mind, she quietly slipped the pill into her mouth and swallowed. This would get her through. Just until she was stronger.