by Britney King
But speaking of that, you need to know I died doing what I loved. Military life is what I knew. It’s what made me who I am. And the brothers I’ve come to know here mean more to me than anything aside from you and my daughter. So, first and foremost, know that I died a happy man. How many people get to say that, Jess? Well, I did. And that’s really quite a beautiful thing. The Navy welcomed me when I had no one. It made me a man and it held me when I had nothing. I’m sure a huge part of you is and will be incredibly angry with me for going back in—now knowing the outcome. But I hope in time you will come to understand that I died being completely one hundred percent who I was meant to be.
That said... I realize doing so has hurt you, and Jonathan and Cat. The three of you have been everything to me over the past year. Having the opportunity to meet you and become a part of your lives will forever remain one of the highlights of mine. Other than having Hailey, loving you will always be one of the best things I ever did. And no matter how much time goes by or how short our time was together—I want you to know that for me it was real.
What we shared was what I would call the pure kind of love, Jessica. We came together two broken people, and it was our shared brokenness that made that kind of love so rare, and for a little while, it made us whole. I’ve been a lot of places and seen a lot of things, and I will tell you there is nothing more beautiful than that.
Helping you get clean was one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. Now that I am gone, there is really only one choice you have to make, Jessica. Either, you can take what we had and expand on it or you can die right alongside with me. But know that if you do this, if you close yourself off, you are in essence letting the purity of what we had, and in a sense, our time together go to waste. Yes, our time was cut short. Yes, there should have been more—but if you care at all about me, you will promise me that you will not let it have been all for not.
I need my life to have meant something, beyond being a soldier who died serving his country. I need to go on in the world even though I’m not in it. And I know that you’re creative, you’ll figure out how to best make that happen. And most importantly, I trust that you won’t let me down.
Finish the book, Jess. And then write ten more. Tell your stories. Tell mine. Tell the stories of millions who can’t or won’t tell them themselves. Your words are what have kept me going when I was out here in the dark, fighting—waiting another day just to be closer to where you are.
From the very beginning, your words were my light when I strained to see. Take your pain, take my pain, take the joy, take it all—and put it into words. That’s how we go on, Jess. Just because I am gone doesn’t mean that what we had has to die, too.
I trust that you’ll keep going. You told me once that I saved your life, but I want you to know that, in many ways, you saved mine. You gave me hope when for so long I’d had none, hope that something amazing was waiting for me back home. Because you were my home. You gave me direction, a purpose beyond what I thought possible.
And I trust that you’ll keep the promises you made to me in that silly little contract I wrote once upon a time. I trust that you know that even if you hadn’t kept those promises—you know that I would have loved you anyway. It was always meant to be exactly as it was. Tell yourself that, Jessica. In the hard times, when you can’t sleep, when you’re missing me more than you ever thought possible. Tell yourself that and, one day, you might just find yourself surprised that you hear those words and feel joy. I never thought that anything good could ever come out of losing Hailey, but I was wrong, Jessica. There was you. And it was always meant to be the way it was.
Love,
M
P.S. Please give Jonathan and Kit Cat all my love and give them their letters when you feel the time is right. There is no rush. Trust your instinct. You are doing fine. You’ve always been stronger than you’ve given yourself credit for. I love you. And I know that you love me, too. If I had to go, and obviously, I did, there was nothing better than going knowing that.
Epilogue
The months following Myles’s death were probably the most horrendous of Jess’s life. Spencer’s trial began exactly four months to the day, and the only time that Jess stepped foot in the courtroom was when it was her turn to testify. She hadn’t wanted to testify for or against her husband, but in the end, relented as to further prove that she had no involvement in the mess that he’d created.
His lover testified that Spencer had planned her death for approximately six months prior to the time the accident took place. According to him, Spencer had outlined several ways of offing her, but ultimately, decided that a car accident was the least likely to get him busted. Looking back, Jess could connect the dots on things that were off during that time—more so than she did when she was living it. It’s ironic to her how accurate the saying ‘hindsight is twenty-twenty’ actually is. According to his lover, her now ex-husband ran through several methods of taking her out including poisoning her. When Jess later thought back on it, she could remember a time when Spencer insisted on making her morning smoothies before her yoga class and how sick she’d gotten once or twice. And how after that, she refused them all together to his insistence that she wasn’t getting the nutrients she required.
According to David Dewitt, the accident was orchestrated right down to the exact science of it and had been rehearsed several times. David testified that he was instructed to call Spencer's cell phone at midnight in order to allow him the opportunity to drop it—causing Jess to have to unbuckle and him to swerve to hit a tree. Apparently, he did not plan as far as her surviving, though somehow, by the grace of God, she did. There were a few doctors, and of course, Addison, who told the jury that while she was in the hospital in a coma he was a little more than insistent on removing her from life support in the days before she recovered enough to come out of it on her own.
In the end, Spencer pled not guilty, refusing all plea bargains, and received two life terms for attempted murder and embezzlement. Jess never did get a chance to discuss any of it with him. He denied her requests for visitation, but she did read a victim’s statement during the sentencing phase of the trial to make her feelings known. In the beginning, he wrote to the kids a few times, but his correspondence faded as quickly as his early days in prison turned to years.
Jonathan is currently away at Cambridge and was a published author at the ripe old age of sixteen. Catherine is finishing her senior year in high school and would be off to The Ballet Department at Indiana University in the fall. They are the most brilliant of young adults. Jess possibly couldn’t be more proud of where they are headed. Despite the trials and tribulations they faced, they are fighters, and her relationship with them is better than she could have ever imagined. There is an honesty and realness to it that perhaps wouldn’t have surfaced any other way, in spite of the hard times.
Jess fulfilled Myles’s wishes by taking his ashes to be buried next to his daughter Hailey. The other half, she spread in the ocean exactly three months to the day he died—she purposely waited as long as she possibly could, but made deadline according to the wishes in his letter. She even went a step further and hand delivered the letter he’d written to his ex-wife, if for no other reason than so she could convey the things to her that she knew Myles had always wanted to say—which summed up were— that he had really loved her and their daughter, and that he’d always wanted to be what she’d wanted him to be—and that he spent a lot of time being sorry that he wasn’t.
As for Jess, personally, she did finish that novel, as well as many others. In the years that followed, she poured every ounce of heartache she possibly could into her work and it turned out, for the most part, well for her. She may not have realized it then but from the day he asked her to write it, it was always him she wrote to... then and every day since. Every single word written was written with him in mind. He was and always would be her ideal reader, so to speak—for he believed in her long before she believed in herself.
There were many days she sat and stared at the bend of her property and swore she saw him coming around it. There were times where she thought if she just focused hard enough, she could make it so and days where she was certain it was actually him she was seeing. In any case, she hopes she has done Myles proud. She hopes that she has honored him and his life and that through her maybe a piece of him has lived on in some way.
One year to the day of his death, Jess created a non-profit organization in his honor that provides soldiers returning to civilian life not only clothing but the necessities they would need to make the transition easier for them. She never forgot that conversation with Myles about burning Spencer’s clothing—about all that was spoken and all that was left unsaid. There was a certain level of forgiveness and acceptance that he possessed that was like nothing she’d ever known. It has been her greatest hope that the foundation she created in his honor would carry that message forward.
About three years following his death, Jess was at a charity fundraiser when she ran into the man Myles had named as his father. Jess sauntered right up to him and asked him if he’d had any idea what he’d missed. She told him of his son and his life and the amazing man that he was, and judging by the look in his father’s eyes as he stared back at her, she found some sense of closure in that deep down a part of him had understood. For it was the same look that she’d often seen written across his son’s face, a look that she missed more than words could or would ever convey.
Ultimately, Jess owed Myles Ingram everything. He taught her how to love again—how to love herself, how to want more, how to demand it, and how to execute. He taught her to wait for that which was worth waiting for and to fight for what is worth fighting for. He taught her about sobriety, and discipline, about feeling pain, and learning to live with it and in spite of it. But most importantly, he taught her what real love is. And as much as she would have liked to find a love like that again, the truth is she never has. Maybe someday… she hasn’t ruled it out…
The great lesson of Myles for Jess would always be that sometimes people come into our lives for reasons we may not understand at the time, but that these people end up changing the course of our lives—forever and for the better. And no matter how long they end up staying—whether it’s for a long time or a very brief period, these people matter, and that honoring them and what they stood for is the most important work of one’s life. His love taught her to keep going, for it is the only choice there is. It proved that pain, addiction, and ultimately, loss, as hard as it is to live with, and as bad as it sucks, has nothing on the power of love.
A note from Britney
Dear Reader,
I hope you enjoyed reading Around The Bend. If you have a moment and you’d like to let me know what you thought, feel free to drop me an email. I enjoy hearing from readers.
Writing a book is an interesting adventure, it’s a bit like inviting people into your brain to rummage around. Look where my imagination took me. These are the kinds of stories I like…
That feeling is often intense and unforgettable. And mostly, a ton of fun.
With that in mind—thank you again for reading my work. I don’t have the backing or the advertising dollars of big publishing, but hopefully I have something better… readers who like the same kind of stories I do. If you are one of them, please share with your friends and consider helping out by doing one (or all) of these quick things:
1. Visit my review page and write a 30 second review (even short ones make a big difference).
Many readers don’t realize what a difference reviews make but they make ALL the difference.
2. Drop me an email and let me know you left a review. This way I can enter you into my monthly drawing for signed paperback copies.
3. Point your psychological thriller loving friends to their free copies of my work. My favorite friends are those who introduce me to books I might like.
4. If you’d like to make sure you don’t miss anything, to receive an email whenever I release a new title, sign up for my new release newsletter.
Thanks for helping, and for reading my work. It means a lot.
Britney King
Austin, Texas
August 2019
About The Author
Britney King lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, children, two dogs, one ridiculous cat, and a partridge in a peach tree.
When she's not wrangling the things mentioned above, she writes psychological, domestic and romantic thrillers set in suburbia.
Without a doubt, she thinks connecting with readers is the best part of this gig. You can find Britney online here:
• britneyking.com
• Email
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Goodreads
• BookBub
Acknowledgments
A gazillion thanks to my family and friends for the endless ways you provide love and inspiration.
A thousand thanks to all of my friends in the book world. From fellow authors, to the amazing bloggers who put so much effort forth simply for the love of sharing books, to my street team and strongest supporters—naming you all would be a novel in and of itself—but I trust that you know who you are. Thank you, so. Seriously, you make this gig so much fun.
To my beta readers and my advance reader team… there aren’t enough words to describe the gratitude I feel for you—for being my first readers and biggest cheerleaders.
Last, but certainly not least, thanks to the readers. For every kind word, for simply reading… you guys are everything. Readers are always good people. Thank you for being that.
Also by Britney King
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The Social Affair | Book One
The Replacement Wife | Book Two
Speak of the Devil | Book Three
The New Hope Series Box Set
The New Hope Series offers gripping, twisted, furiously clever reads that demand your attention, and keep you guessing until the very end. For fans of the anti-heroine and stories told in unorthodox ways, The New Hope Series delivers us the perfect dark and provocative villain. The only question—who is it?
Water Under The Bridge | Book One
Dead In The Water | Book Two
Come Hell or High Water | Book Three
The Water Series Box Set
The Water Trilogy follows the shady love story of unconventional married couple—he’s an assassin—she kills for fun. It has been compared to a crazier book version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Also, Dexter.
Bedrock | Book One
Breaking Bedrock | Book Two
Beyond Bedrock | Book Three
The Bedrock Series Box Set
The Bedrock Series features an unlikely heroine who should have known better. Turns out, she didn’t. Thus she finds herself tangled in a messy, dangerous, forbidden love story and face-to-face with a madman hell-bent on revenge. The series has been compared to Fatal Attraction, Single White Female, and Basic Instinct.
Around The Bend
Around The Bend, is a heart-pounding standalone which traces the journey of a well-to-do suburban housewife, and her life as it unravels, thanks to the secrets she keeps. If she were the only one with things she wanted to keep hidden, then maybe it wouldn’t have turned out so bad. But she wasn’t.
Somewhere With You | Book One
Anywhere With You | Book Two
&
nbsp; The With You Series Box Set
The With You Series at its core is a deep love story about unlikely friends who travel the world; trying to find themselves, together and apart. Packed with drama and adventure along with a heavy dose of suspense, it has been compared to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and Love, Rosie.
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Room 553
“She felt no remorse for drawing blood. In the context of their lovemaking, it had its place.”