When We Found Home

by Susan Mallery

“It’s different with family.”

  “You are family.”

  Santiago’s expression turned knowing. “You say that now. Give it a few weeks. I have a feeling everything is going to change.”

  “Not for me.”

  * * *

  Delaney waited outside Keira’s school as a light, misty rain flirted with her automatic windshield wipers. She’d offered an afternoon of study and junk food and Keira had accepted. Now, as students poured out of the building, she found herself wondering where she would be if Tim hadn’t been killed. Not going back to college, she thought. He’d mentioned more than once that they were waiting so long to get married that he wanted to start their family right away. Had all gone according to plan, they would have been married about eighteen months. Would she already be pregnant and if so, what about her job at Boeing? Would she be planning to quit? She knew what Tim would have wanted, although how they would have survived on his salary alone, she had no idea. Seattle was an expensive city. Housing alone...

  “Not my rock,” she murmured as she spotted Keira. Tim was gone and whatever they might or might not have done wasn’t her issue anymore. There was no point in trying to solve problems that didn’t exist. If she was trying to work through the past, then she should work through the past. If she was looking to distract herself from her vague sense of dissatisfaction, then that was something she would wrestle with another time.

  Keira opened the back door and tossed in her backpack, then slid in next to Delaney and grinned.

  “We can’t go anywhere until I get a chance to change my clothes. This uniform is the worst.”

  Delaney glanced at the red-and-navy-plaid skirt and navy blazer. “It’s adorable and the coloring is great for you. But if you don’t like the skirt, can’t you wear pants?”

  Keira rolled her eyes. “They’re plaid, too. It’s awful. The boys get to wear navy pants. Why don’t we? I tried to start a petition, but no one was very interested.”

  “Advocacy can be hard,” Delaney teased.

  “You know it.”

  Delaney laughed. “Did you bring other clothes with you? We can go to my place first, you can change your clothes, then we’ll walk to the store.”

  “I have jeans and a sweatshirt in my backpack. It meant leaving my Spanish textbook at home but it was worth it.” She sighed. “Next year three of our textbooks are digital. I can’t wait. So much less to carry. When I asked why we couldn’t have digital books this year, my teacher told me that seventh graders aren’t responsible enough. So what does that mean? Something magical happens when we all turn thirteen? Does the responsibility fairy visit us?”

  “You’re in a mood.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. Just sometimes adults say really stupid stuff.”

  “We do.”

  Delaney’s cell phone rang, connecting with her car’s Bluetooth. On her nav screen she saw Dad followed by a familiar number.

  “I should take this,” she said, pushing the talk button. “Hi, Dad. I’m in the car with my friend Keira.”

  “Hi, sweetie. Hi, Keira.”

  “Hi, Mr. Holbrook,” Keira said with a smile. “How are you?”

  “Very well. Thank you for asking.” He chuckled. “Well done, Delaney. I was going to chide you for not stopping by to see me in the past couple of weeks but with your friend right there, I really can’t.”

  Delaney tried not to feel guilty. She hadn’t been avoiding her father—not exactly. There had just been a lot going on. School, her job, Malcolm, the sudden need to question every decision she’d ever made.

  “Sorry,” she said automatically. “You know I love the company.”

  “I’m pretty sure I’m still a good time,” her father teased. “How about dinner?”

  “Sure.”

  “Bring your young man with you. Beryl said the last time she texted you, you mentioned you were getting ready for a date.”

  Delaney winced. Keira held in a laugh.

  “It’s a little soon to be meeting the parents, Dad.” Not to mention disconcerting. She’d never brought a man home before. Her father had known Tim since the time she was a kid.

  “Nonsense. It’s no big deal. I assume he knows you have family.”

  “He does.”

  “Good. Then figure out a night that works and let me know.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  “Good. Love you, sweetie.”

  “I love you, too. Bye.”

  Keira made kissing noises, then giggled. “Does Malcolm want to meet your dad?”

  “I have no idea but I guess we’re going to find out.”

  Tension had her tightening her grip on the steering wheel. She consciously relaxed. Malcolm had relatives who made demands. He would understand and be fine with it, she told herself, only to realize he wasn’t the problem. She was.

  Not anything she wanted to think about right now. “How’s school?” she asked.

  “Okay. I’m liking it more now.” Keira sighed. “Except for, you know, the uniforms. I’ve made a few more friends and that makes things better. I want to say everything is getting better, but I won’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Duh. Because it could all go away.”

  Delaney stopped at a red light and looked at Keira. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want to jinx anything. If I’m too happy, then something bad might happen.”

  “Oh, honey, no.” Delaney touched her hand. “Life isn’t like that. There’s no big punishment waiting to thump you on the head if you’re happy with your life. You’re supposed to be happy—that’s kind of the point.”

  “Easy to say,” Keira muttered. “Don’t you ever think that if things are too good, you’ll be in trouble?”

  “No.”

  The answer was automatic, but as Delaney uttered the single word, she heard another one in response. Liar.

  She told herself she wasn’t lying because her issue wasn’t punishment, not exactly. It was more that she wasn’t supposed to move on. Or she could move on, but only for the greater good. Like quitting her job to become a naturopath. That was okay. But nothing else.

  Jeez, really? Nothing else? What did that mean? She wasn’t supposed to be happy? Or she could be a little happy, but not too happy? She knew she wasn’t making sense and this was all tied in to what had happened when she’d lost Tim and how she hadn’t been sure even before then, but she couldn’t not marry him and maybe she’d felt a little trapped and—

  “Delaney?”

  “What?”

  Keira pointed at the green light.

  “Sorry. Your question threw me. I guess maybe sometimes I do worry about being too happy.”

  “Like you’re supposed to be sad forever?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “I worry that I only get so much good stuff and if I get more, something really bad is going to happen.”

  “Are you talking to your therapist about that?”

  “Do you think I should?”

  “Absolutely. There are things that you need to be afraid of, but so often we get caught up in irrational fears. They can get bigger than we can handle. The past is complicated. You’ve been through a lot. You need help processing all your feelings. If you don’t deal with them now, you’ll deal with them later and it’s going to be much harder then.”

  “Wow, that’s really smart.” Keira sighed. “Okay, I’ll talk to her on Tuesday. Maybe I’ll make a list so I don’t forget.”

  “Good idea. You can start it when we get to my place.”

  Delaney wondered if she should make her own list. Find out what her “shoulds” were and then figure out why they existed in the first place. She had a nagging feeling that she’d been so caught up in dealing with the logistics of her father’s injury and canceling the wedding and ha
ndling her grief that she might have forgotten to process a few emotions herself. Or maybe all of them.

  Was that why she felt so confused and lost? Was that why she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life even though she’d already set herself in motion? And if she hadn’t dealt with her emotions before, how on earth was she supposed to process them now? And if she did, where would she find herself?

  “I so need chocolate,” she muttered. “And maybe wine.”

  Keira laughed. “Only if I can have a soda. Carmen is very antisoda and so is the school. I would love a Dr. Pepper.”

  “Chocolate, wine and Dr. Pepper,” Delaney told her. “We are going to party tonight!”

  * * *

  By Saturday morning, Callie had worked herself into a frenzy that left her stomach writhing. Why, oh, why had she accepted Santiago’s invitation? She didn’t know how to date—even more pressing, she had nothing to wear. Worse, she had no real friends she could call for advice, which left her in the awkward position of going to see her twelve-year-old sister.

  Keira was dragging a ribbon while Lizzy pounced. She looked up at Callie. “What’s up?”

  “I have a date with Santiago tonight and I don’t know what to wear.”

  Keira rolled her eyes. “There is way too much dating going on in this family. I just don’t get it.” She sighed heavily before scooping up Lizzy. “Okay, let’s go pick something.”

  They went next door. Callie stayed back while Keira looked around her closet.

  “You’re not kidding,” her sister said. “You have almost nothing.” She flipped through a couple of pairs of jeans and pulled out the sweater Callie had bought at Target before turning to her. “Did you leave your other clothes in Houston?”

  Callie felt herself flush. “No. These are all my clothes. I wore a uniform at both my jobs and it’s not like I went a lot of different places.” Or any, she thought, trying not to sound too defensive, but confident she had totally failed.

  “It’s okay,” her sister told her. “I was just asking. But you know this means we have to go shopping.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  Callie didn’t want to spend money on anything as silly as date clothing, but she really didn’t have a choice. It was that or back out of the dinner, and for some reason, she really didn’t want to do that, either, which left her in a quandary.

  “I don’t want to spend a lot of money,” she admitted. “Especially on a dress I might not wear again.”

  “Makes sense.” Keira studied her for a second. “At least you’re not still growing so you’ll be able to wear whatever we buy forever. We should get something super classic. You can go fun with shoes or maybe a little jacket. Do you have a nice coat?”

  “Just the parka I wear every day.”

  Keira shuddered. “That isn’t going to work. We are so going to the outlet store. Carmen will drive us.”

  “I don’t want to trouble her. Tell me where it is and we can take the bus.”

  Keira stared at her. “You know there’s a trust fund, right?”

  “Just because it exists doesn’t mean I’m going to squander it.”

  “Can we at least use Uber or Lyft? I’ll pay one way from my allowance.”

  Callie thought about how scared Keira was about being abandoned. She would bet her sister was saving every penny in case she ended up on the streets. Offering to pay for the ride was a big deal.

  “The bus is actually really nice.”

  “It’s not close to the house and we’re going to be walking around all day shopping. We’ll be exhausted and you have to be rested for tonight.”

  All excellent points, Callie thought. “Sometimes you sound like you’re thirty instead of twelve.”

  “I’m very mature. Now let’s get going.”

  One Uber ride later they were walking into Nordstrom Rack. The outlet store was huge and jammed with clothes and shoppers.

  Callie started to say she wasn’t sure she could afford even super sale prices, but didn’t think Keira would let her get away with that. They fought their way to the dress section. It was there that Callie discovered her baby sister had an eye for what worked.

  “Angelina always used to tell me to pay a little more for good quality. If it’s a classic piece, it will be worth it. Trends should be inexpensive, because you can’t wear them long. We’re looking for a pretty dress that you can wear on more than a date.” Keira eyed her. “Prints are usually a big no, but if we find the right one, it might work. Especially if we can find a solid blazer to put on top.” She grinned. “Then you’d have something for the office.”

  Callie felt her head starting to spin. “I work in a factory.”

  “For now. Besides, you’re part of the empire. What if there’s an owner’s meeting?”

  “It will probably be held in Grandfather Alberto’s study.”

  Keira held up her arm, palm out. “Talk to the hand. I have to work.”

  Sure enough Keira attacked the dress racks. She flipped through them at a speed that made Callie dizzy, pausing only to pull out possibilities before discarding them. In less time than Callie would have thought, she had six different dresses to try on. Four were solid colors, while two were prints. On the way to the dressing room, Keira insisted they look at a display of leather jackets.

  “It’s almost May,” she said eagerly. “These are going to be super cheap, and if we can find a good one, you can wear it forever.”

  She held up several jackets in front of Callie before choosing three, then they waited in line for a dressing room. Once they were inside, Callie started taking off her shirt.

  “I can leave if you want,” Keira offered.

  Callie dropped her T-shirt on top of her purse. “I don’t care if you don’t.” She grinned. “I was in prison. There’s not much modesty left.” At least not around other women. When it came to a man, her attitude might be a little different, not that she planned to find out anytime soon.

  “Then I’m in.” Keira dropped to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. “Let’s get moving, you. We have miles to go before your date.”

  “You scare me a little.”

  Keira grinned.

  But when Callie tried on the first dress, the preteen was all business. Callie had barely gotten the three-quarter sleeve dress pulled down before her sister shook her head.

  “No. It’s way too old for you. Next.”

  “But—”

  “No. It looks terrible on you.” She gestured for Callie to move things along. “We still have to buy you some basic makeup.”

  “Make—”

  “Up. Yes. Stuff you put on your face. You don’t wear any.”

  “Not since high school.”

  “Seriously? Where have you been? In a—” Keira put her hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I forgot and I was just playing around. I was going to say cave, not that it matters. I’m sorry.”

  Callie hadn’t known what to make of her time in Seattle. She was still adjusting and trying to figure out if she believed the good stuff. But when it came to her little sister, she was all in. She dropped to her knees and hugged her tight.

  “It’s okay. I would never take offense. You’re such a caring, sweet person.”

  Keira held on tight. When they separated, she brushed away her tears, then motioned to the dress. “Just no. Try on the next one.”

  Less than twenty minutes later, they had chosen not one but two dresses. The first, for tonight, was a flirty white dress with black trim at the top of the fitted, square bodice and at the hem. There was a black floral print scattered across the full skirt. It was sleeveless, with wide straps, and fit her perfectly.

  The second dress was a long-sleeved navy wrap. Sleek, sensible and in the kind of material that laste
d forever.

  “In case you have a business meeting,” Keira told her. “Trust me, you need a go-to dress. The navy makes it unexpected.”

  “But this means I have to get two pairs of shoes,” Callie said, trying not to whimper at the cost. Yes, the dresses were both marked down a zillion times, but the black-and-white one had started at three hundred and fifty dollars. For a dress!

  “You can wear black with navy,” Keira told her. “We’ll go get you a pair of simple black pumps. You’ll own them the rest of your life. Trust me.”

  Callie found she did. Angelina had taught her young friend well. Keira picked the leather jacket Callie bought.

  “The moto style might get old in a few years,” Keira said. “But it’s so cute on you and it’s the best quality for the price. So in three years, you get a different one, right?”

  Callie was doubtful about needing more than one leather jacket, but nodded in agreement. She’d basically put her fate in the hands of a twelve-year-old and she felt good about it.

  Keira led the way to the shoe department and quickly sorted through the boxes, finding several pairs of black pumps. Callie tried them all on and ended up with three that fit.

  “These,” Keira said firmly, pointing to the classically gorgeous midheel pumps.

  Callie’s stomach knotted and her palms began to sweat. “Are you insane? They’re two hundred and twenty dollars. Dollars,” she repeated, drawing out the word.

  “They’re 50 percent off and these are Stuart Weitzman shoes. They are well made and incredibly beautiful. If you take care of them, they will last you forever. Every woman needs a pair of black pumps.”

  “I’m not sure I like Angelina,” Callie muttered. “And I really don’t like it when you channel her. Besides, I don’t have that much cash on me.”

  “You have a credit card, don’t you? And money to pay off the bill?” She put her hands on her hips. “I’m aware of how the economy works. I don’t think a credit card is magic, but I do know if you can afford to pay the bill, which you can, you should buy these shoes. For what it’s worth, I didn’t get all this information from Angelina. I read a lot of fashion magazines. I’m going to start giving them to you when I’m done with them.”