by Unknown
“If you told everyone about the two of you then you could make them back off instead of hiding it,” I suggest. I just know this is going to blow up in our faces if she keeps it hidden.
“True, but I’m still worried Danny won’t like it.”
“Well it’s a given he won’t, but why does he get a choice?” She’s not from my family; she actually gets a say in who she’s with.
Sam shrugs, “I keep asking Tag the same question. Besides, it’s kind of fun this way. Makes things feel more forbidden and juicy.”
I’ll have to take her word on that.
We hang out and talk about anything that comes to mind.
“Dinner!” The boys holler. I have Sam go and bring some back to her room so I don’t have to deal with any more girls (or seeing them with Danny).
Sam gets restless after we finish and I have ideas I want to sketch, so we finally leave our cave, confident that the house is filled with enough people now to even out who the girls give their attention to.
The first thing I see when we exit Sam’s room is a girl I don’t recognize standing in Dan’s doorway, resting against the frame with her chest popped out. He has a forearm placed above her head as he leans into her. She has on a smile I’m all too familiar with; it’s the same one all women get around him, a certain smirky grin. I call it the ‘loverboy’ smirk, the one they use when they are trying to seduce him and their eyes turn into pools of lust. He grins down at them like I have seen countless times as well, because he knows this game; he’s played it a hundred times. If he feeds them just a bit of attention, he can have them in his room in about ten minutes.
I normally avoid looking, not wanting to put myself through that torture, but today something compels me. I look over my shoulder and find Dan watching me while the girl is rambling on about something.
To say my stomach goes through a loop-de-loo would be an understatement. He keeps watching me, and I keep looking at him over my shoulder until I walk right into someone’s back.
“Watch it!” He hollers as beer splashes over his hand.
“Sorry,” I mumble, a nice pink blossoming my cheeks.
Sam shoves the guy, “You watch it.”
We go over to the drinks, Sam getting a beer and me another root beer, and we munch on the snacks that will only last another hour.
Tag comes over, resting on the counter near Sam. He pops a chip in his mouth, giving her a playful, boyish grin, “Hey.”
She is trying to contain a smile but it’s lighting up her face. “Hey,” she says around a Cheeto, trying to sound casual.
He reaches for another one that forces them to brush arms and winks at her as he pops it in his mouth.
This goes on for a couple minutes while they play whatever game this is.
“Nice dress,” he smirks, eyes scanning her body.
Sam bats her lashes, “This old thing?”
He nods an expression of approval, “That old thing.”
I roll my eyes. This is my que to leave. Earlier, Sam had told me how she had worn that dress on Tag’s request. Every time he’d seen it on her in the past it drove him crazy, so I know their conversation is headed to an area I don’t want any part of.
I hold up my sketchpad, “I’m off.”
“Find me later,” she requests.
I become giddy as I make my way to my private nook. There is something about sketching my ideas out that gives me such a high. My body craves that feeling and it knows it’s coming, giving me a quick boost of adrenaline before I start.
I’m so deep into my idea that I only faintly hear the chair scrape as Dan joins me. My body doesn’t fully become aware that he’s here until he reaches over and tucks a fallen piece of hair behind my ear, unblocking my face.
I pretend to still be working, but all I can focus on is where his skin had just been touching mine.
When he leaves, I loudly breathe out all the air I had been holding.
I’m unable to get back into the zone I had been before he touched me, so I decide to call it a night and join Sam at the party.
I regret my decision when I see Dan in his usual spot on the couch and the girl from earlier straddling him, her mouth to his.
It makes everything in me hurt.
I go and put my pad away and give myself my usual Friday night pep talk. I remind myself for the thousandth time that Dan isn’t mine and he never will be, so it’s silly to always get so worked up over seeing him with other girls.
I realize I forgot my pencil. Dan’s touch must have really distracted me.
Well, shit. Now I have to go out there.
I keep my eyes diverted downward all the way to my nook. My pencil is there, patiently waiting. On the way back I get blocked from the sliding door. Sarah, the girl from earlier who insulted me, and Rylee, the one whose seat Sam took, are blocking my way.
From the sliding door I can see Sam is in the kitchen goofing around with the boys, taking part in a mini food fight.
“Who the hell does that chick think she is?” Rylee sneers, her tone full of spite.
“I know, such a bitch,” Sarah agrees with just as much animosity.
“She’s not even that pretty.”
“Right?” Sarah huffs, “Like, put on some makeup. You’re not Alicia-fucking-Keys.”
Now, I have to point out that I don’t really like the word bitch, but I feel it applies here.
I keep listening, flabbergasted with how catty they are being. Who cares if Sam wears makeup or not?
“At least she’s not from some underground-bunker-doomsday-cult like the other girl.”
They both laugh.
This time, instead of the insults embarrassing me, I feel anger rising.
Who do these girls think they are that they’re so much better than us? And for that matter, what have I ever done to them to make them talk so viciously about me?
Sam dashes through the living room, laughing as Maddox spits watermelon seeds from his mouth at her.
“Skank,” Rylee once again sneers behind her.
That’s all it takes for me to react. Besides being in a sour mood from seeing yet another girl with Danny, nobody talks about my best friend like that! I lose my cool and lunge at her, and we tumble to the floor.
I’m not much of a fighter considering this is my first time, but I get in a few shots and a good hair tug. She’s worse though as we roll around the floor. She grabs my hair so hard I yelp, then pushes off and kicks me in the stomach. At the same time, Sam launches herself onto the chick’s back, shouting, “Don’t you dare touch her!”
Sam and Rylee tumble, crashing into the side table and causing a lamp to crash over and break.
Meanwhile a crowd forms, “Fight! Fight!”
Just as fast as it starts, Danny and his boys are there pulling Sam off the girl.
Unfortunately for Rylee, Sam does know how to fight and the girl’s bloody face proves it. Sam barely looks like she was touched. Meanwhile, my hair is all over the place, I taste blood on my lip, and I’m still winded from the kick.
Both girls try to go at each other again and it takes two boys to hold each of them back.
Danny and Tag have Sam.
Maddox and North have Rylee.
“You know the rules,” Danny growls. “No fighting. Get out of my fucking house.”
Her teeth are bloody as she spits out her words, “I didn’t even start this shit.” She nods her head in my direction, “That bitch should be the one to be kicked out. She just fucking assaulted me out of nowhere.”
Danny and the boys all snap their heads in my direction, shock on every one of their faces.
Danny gives me a once over, his jaw clenching when he takes in my appearance. I wipe away the blood I feel dribbling down my chin.
He lets go of Sam, shoving her into Tag’s arms, “Take her to her room. Keep her there until she calms down.”
Tag nods, picks up Sam like she doesn’t weigh a thing, and throws her over his shoulder. Sam lif
ts her head up and asks me, “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“Love you,” she says as she bobs away.
“Love you too.”
Tag slaps her ass and she gives his a pinch. Her brother is too busy focusing his fury on Rylee to notice.
“Get. Out. Of. My. Fucking. House.” Dan enunciates each word, his whole body tense as he clenches his fists. “Don’t ever come near here again.”
“What?!” Rylee retorts in disbelief. “No fucking way.”
“Get out!” Dan shouts, pointing a finger at the door. He turns to the twins, “Make sure her friends follow.”
He takes my hand, and the crowd parts as he walks us to his room. He slams the door and starts pacing. I sit on the bed and pick at his sheet.
“I’m sorry,” I softly say to it. “I didn’t mean to do anything, she just made me so mad I snapped.”
Dan pauses, running fingers through his hair, making it stick out this way and that, “You think I’m mad at you?”
“Well, yeah. I started a fight.” He has always had a strict no fighting rule (at his own home anyway; past that its fair game, especially for he and his boys).
“No, baby…” Dan pauses to scrub his face, “Jesus….no…” He shakes his head down at the floor before he looks up, anger still tight in his expression but his eyes show warmth, “It’s how that girl talked about you. I wanted to bash her face in, but she was a chick. Had she been a dude, I would have fucking killed him.”
The soft way he calls me baby, and his words? I just can’t with this boy sometimes.
He paces, hands still clenching and unclenching, anger radiating off of him.
I crawl across the bed and get up on my knees at the edge. I reach out for his arm, “Hey.”
He lets me pull him to me, his hands going for my hips as mine go to his biceps. His brows are bunched together and I want to smooth them over with my lips, but it’s Danny and I’m me, so I don’t have the guts to do it. I barely know how I’m even touching him like this, but I assume the adrenaline from the fight is still working and I’m not quite myself right now.
“It’s over,” I reassure him, his hands tightly clutching my sides. “It’s over,” I repeat as I let out a long, loud breath and am pleased to find him do the same. I do it again and again and he follows. I don’t stop until his brows aren’t pushed together and his breathing has stabilized.
He lets out a big puff of air and drops his forehead to my shoulder, wrapping his arms all the way around my waist. I draw him in closer as well, but my arms can’t quite wrap around him.
“I can tolerate a lot of shit, Hannah,” his breath warms my skin and I rub his back to try and loosen the tension, “But when someone says something about you? I’ve never liked it.” He looks up, his eyes meeting mine. “Even when the boys tease you or ask you a lot of questions about shit it pisses me off. But knowing someone laid their hands on you?” His brows knit together again and his whole body becomes stone. “It’s too fucking much for me. I want to take on the whole fucking world with my anger.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to know.”
I want to know this. I’ve ached for this, to hear Danny cares for me as more than his little sister’s best friend, that he cares for me like he does his sister and his boys. It means everything to me.
A memory returns full force. It was the summer after we met. I had come home late on a Tuesday, my dad had come home early. I told him Mrs. Fraser wasn’t feeling well so I’d stayed longer to keep her company. He immediately called her, and bless her old heart, she remembered not feeling well earlier. I’m still not sure if it was her old age or she’s smarter than I give her credit for, but even though I had an alibi I still had to take the belt for not having called in first. When I changed at Sam’s house that Friday she saw my bottom and flipped her lid, with all the boys rushing to her room from the ruckus she was making. Thank God all my clothes were already put back on. She told them about the welts. The boys got just has angry as she was, and that was the moment I truly knew I was one of them. Jerry was ready to call his Uncle Luigi, who he claimed “don’t make no fucking pizza.” Danny had stormed out, Tag quickly running after him. I don’t know where he went. I had thought it was too much drama for him; he’s always harping about the damn drama his place brought.
“You remember that time Sam found the belt–”
“I fucking remember,” he growls, and I become acutely aware of his hands putting more pressure on my hips. “I was ready to go murder your father. If it hadn’t been for Tag…” He lets out another long breath, his head shaking back and forth before dropping to my shoulder. “Let’s just say I never want to feel like that again.” He lifts his head back up, brushing the loose hair from my face, searching it. “I came close tonight. Thank God she was a girl.”
Our eyes are deep into the other’s, to the point I think his have the ability to absorb me into him, when the door bursts wide open.
“Hannah, you all right?”
I close my eyes, sad the moment’s over, a moment I will cherish. I turn my head to smile at Maddox. “I’m good,” I nod.
Maddox raises a brow as he takes in our position, our bodies practically chest to chest, and our hands clutching the other.
Danny quickly takes a giant step back, raking a hand through his hair and making it even more all over the place before he reaches for his baseball cap and slaps it on, shadowing his features.
North comes crashing behind, forcing Maddox further into the room. Next come the twins, with Jerry close behind.
They all fuss over me, none of them calling me Mary, only Hannah. I reassure them I’m fine, but they insist on dragging me out to the living room. I protest joining the party, but to my surprise the house is cleared.
Price reads my face and answers my unspoken question, “Party cancelled. We were all too worried about you.”
My hearts blooms. Giving up getting laid is basically the same as them telling me “I love you.” Judge them all you want, but they’re my family and I love them too.
“But I’m the one who started it. Was the girl just supposed to lie there and take it?”
They all nod their heads. “Yes,” they answer in unison.
North asks me to tell them what happened, and considering it’s only about the third direct thing he’s ever said to me I feel obliged to reply. “She called Sam a skank.”
The room stills, anger brewing again from them all. I continue anyway, “I just snapped.”
They all nod like, “Yeah, been there.”
“So I hit her,” I say nonchalantly, like that wasn’t my first fight and I wasn’t feeling a little bad ass (which I totally was).
“Way to go, Hannah!” The twins high five me. Maddox picks me up in a big hug and jiggles me. Jerry and North light up with big approving smiles, and Danny stands off to the side, our eyes glued together through all of it.
He’s never looked at me like this before and I’m uncertain what I’m reading in his eyes. All I know is something has changed. I can’t place what it is, but I can feel it.
Chapter 5
The following Tuesday, Mrs. Fraser is ready for a nap when I arrive, something that happens quite frequently. I help her into bed before shoving the food into the freezer. I frown when I see that she hasn’t been eating very much. No wonder she looks so thin. I make a mental note to tell my parents. I check in on her one more time, leaving a note for when she wakes up informing her that I made her some fresh lemonade. Normally I would be thrilled with extra time at Sam’s, but I can’t if it’s at the expense of Mrs. Fraser’s health.
“You’re early,” Danny says as I plop down on the couch, overheated and sweaty. It’s a look Danny’s used to seeing on me.
“Mrs. Fraser was sleeping.”
“Sam won’t be home for a while.”
I know that; she has dance for the rest of the hour.
“Trying to get rid of me?” I tease.
“Never,” he says casually as he remains focused on his video game, mashing buttons.
The house is a furnace today even with three fans blowing on us. I remove my long sleeve blouse, revealing my (or rather Danny’s) tank top underneath. I wonder if he has ever noticed that I wear his white tanks, or why some of his have gone missing over the years? If he has, he’s never mentioned it; at least not that I’m aware of.
I take out my braid and pile all my hair on the top of my head, securing it with my hair tie. I already feel cooler.
“We have a shitload of ice in the fridge if you need it,” Dan offers, watching me out of the corner of his eye.
“Thanks,” I say in return.
I quietly sit and watch him play, sneaking glances of him out of the corner of my eye. Today he only has on basketball shorts, exposing most of his skin. His muscles pop while he plays, adding to my desire. His head is free of his usual baseball cap and his hair is a little wild looking.
Sometimes his looks are too much for me, and I have to stop looking or the longing becomes too much to bear.
He’s everything my parents and the bible preach against: he drinks too much, he fights, he smokes, he sleeps around, he swears like it’s its own language. So why can’t I stop pining after him? It only gets worse the more time I spend around him.
The heat starts to get to me, sweat trickling down my back and glistening off of my skin. I start to feel light-headed from it. Most would head home to an air conditioned house, but the air in my home is far more stifling.
As more sweat rolls down my chest I decide to see if ice will help.
I make my way to the kitchen and pull out a piece of ice from the large bowl in the freezer they have been stockpiling it in. For a minute I stick my head in and sigh with bliss from the cold air that surrounds it. I don’t want to waste electricity though, so I close it sadly.
I rest a hand on the counter and slowly run the ice down my neck and across my chest. It feels so good as the refreshing, cool drops trickle down. Once it melts I grab another piece, closing my eyes and letting its cooling effect wash over me. When I open my eyes, my heart skips a beat – Danny is watching me in a way that makes the air feel thicker and I find it suddenly harder to breathe.