Revenge of the Tiki Men!

by Tony Abbott

  “What if we can’t read the message?” Mike said.

  “Well, we have to try,” Liz said. Looking down into the pit, her head felt light. Her stomach did flips. The deep dark pit was very deep and very dark.

  “You know how I hate deep dark holes,” she reminded Mike. “And I really don’t want to get stuck down there. But having your town turn into a jungle is beyond weird. We have to stop all this craziness.”

  “Before it stops us,” Mike said as he uncoiled her father’s rope.

  Liz tied one end around her waist. “My dad says archaeology is a science that helps you keep both feet firmly on the ground!”

  Liz’s two feet left the ground as Mike lowered her into the pit. She swallowed hard.

  Errrk! She dangled lower and lower on the rope.

  The pit got narrower as she descended.

  Her elbows scraped the sides.

  “I really really hate this!” Liz yelled.

  7

  Trapped, Captured, Caught!

  “The things I do for my town!” Liz shouted up to Mike. Finally, she reached the bottom of the pit and started to scrape around in the dirt.

  Tap-tap! “Hey, there is something here. Something flat and smooth.” Liz scraped some more.

  “The Tiki Key?” asked Mike. “Does it tell us what to do?”

  “I don’t know yet,” Liz yelled back. “Wait, yes. It’s got markings all over it. I’ve got it! Hoist me up!”

  “We’re saved!” cried Mike, as he quickly pulled Liz back to the surface. “Yahoo!”

  At the top of the pit, Liz dusted herself and Mike dusted the strange flat stone.

  “Wait a minute, you can’t read any of this stuff,” Mike complained. “It’s just a bunch of wavy lines.”

  Liz examined the stone then flipped it over. “Maybe this picture will give us a clue. A big triangle shape with a spiral over it. What could it mean?”

  “Hey, your dad’s the archaeologist,” Mike said, crouching next to her.

  Liz traced the lines on the stone. “It looks like a map. This line goes from the ball field to the top of Main Street. And then it goes to my house. Exactly where the Tiki men have been popping up. They’re making a triangle around the town.”

  “But what do they want?” Mike asked.

  Liz was quiet for a moment. “They want Grover’s Mill! They want it like it used to be. The past, the jungle, everything. They want it back!”

  Mike thought about it. “So it’s true. When the Mango Maniacs pound the ground with their sticks and do their crazy dance, the Tiki men pop up.”

  Liz nodded. “Remember how I pounded home plate this morning? That’s what started all this. It’s like some kind of ancient knock-knock.”

  “Only not so funny,” Mike said.

  “Right,” Liz said, looking at the stone again. “And the Tiki men have weird ancient powers in their eyes that can turn things back into a jungle. Back to the way they were centuries ago.”

  “That’s the past,” Mike said with a smile.

  Liz nodded. “They made the jungle come back. Why? Because they want to live here again.”

  Mike was silent as he took in what Liz said.

  She, too, wondered what it meant to go back to the beginning of time. A total jungle world. Green everywhere. Her least favorite color. She turned the stone over. “We need to find out what these words mean. Maybe we can bring our town back to normal, I mean … well, you know what I mean.”

  “The way it was yesterday. Yeah, I like that idea,” Mike admitted. Then he frowned. “But one thing I don’t get. Where does Buddy Kool—”

  “Shh!” Liz hissed. “I think I hear something.”

  Twigs snapped behind them. Leaves crackled and whooshed. Sticks thumped and clacked. The sounds were getting closer.

  “Mango Men!” Mike gasped. “They found us!” The two kids began to run as quickly as they could, scrambling away from third base. Mike held the Tiki Key under his arm. Liz hurried after him.

  Boom-ba-boom! But the Mango Men weren’t far behind.

  “Keep going!” Liz yelled, jumping ahead of Mike. “And watch out for h-h-h-holesssss!”

  As she said this, Liz leaped over a gnarly stump. When she came down on the far side, the ground wasn’t where she thought it would be.

  “Helllllp!” Liz cried as she tumbled—wump!—into another deep dark pit.

  “Helllllp!” cried Mike as he tumbled after her—wump!—into the same deep dark pit.

  “Ugh!” said the Mango Men as they quickly surrounded the pit and looked into it. They clacked their sticks and did a little dance.

  “Oooh! What do we have here?” It was Buddy Kool. He leaned over the hole and looked down at Liz and Mike. His slick sunglasses glinted. So did his slick hair. “Didn’t you know this whole area is full of pits? Looks like you fell for this one. Get it? Fell?” He chuckled.

  “You!” Liz snarled under her breath. “We know what you’re doing. You and your Mango Men and your big giant heads are trying to turn back the clock!”

  “Yeah,” said Mike, moving forward. “Well, we’re going to yank out that clock’s batteries! With this!” He held up the Tiki Key.

  “Oh! Thanks for finding that!” said Buddy Kool. “Seriously, we’ve been looking all over!” In one swift move he reached down and grabbed the stone tablet from Mike.

  Liz glared at Buddy Kool. “You’ll never get away with this!”

  The man smiled. “I wonder if you’ll talk so tough from inside a sharkskin suit. A living shark, that is!”

  “Ugh!” the Mango Men grunted. A moment later, the kids were hoisted out of the pit and being pushed through the vines to the pitcher’s mound.

  “I love this,” Liz mumbled. “Captured by a bunch of men in very scratchy grass suits.”

  “With big sticks,” Mike added.

  “Who grunt a lot,” said Liz.

  “Ugh! Ugh!”

  8

  Just Hanging Around!

  Caw! Caw! Grrrr! Yap! Yap! Woo-ooo!

  Strange animal calls and growls filled the air as the Mango Men pushed Liz and Mike down a hole at the pitcher’s mound.

  At the bottom of the hole was a bamboo door.

  When the door swung open, Liz gasped. “There’s a whole world down here!”

  “I call it the Junga-Lounge,” said Buddy Kool.

  “Ugh!” said a Mango Man, prodding the two kids across a rope bridge swinging between some trees. A pool below the bridge swished.

  Sloosh! The giant head of a large white shark pierced the water’s surface. Its beady eyes shot dark looks up at the kids.

  Snap! The shark snapped its jaws loudly, bumped the bottom of the bridge with its nose, and dived.

  “I’ll count my toes later,” said Mike. “Can we please just get off this bridge?”

  The Mango Men moved the kids onto a winding stone path.

  Slishhh! A hissing, steaming waterfall roared down one wall.

  “Incredible,” Mike gasped, nudging Liz. “It’s just like a theme restaurant.”

  Liz saw an alligator slithering behind the waterfall. “But I wonder what the theme really is.”

  A moment later, they entered a clearing surrounded by blazing torches. In the middle were tables shaped like big flat mushrooms.

  The Mango Men pushed Liz and Mike down at a table. Clusters of coconuts clung to a short palm tree that poked up through the table.

  On the table were juice drinks with little paper umbrellas sticking out. Next to them was a straw basket heaped with curly french fries.

  Mike reached for the basket. “I am so hungry!”

  “Mike!” Liz slammed his hand down. The curly fries instantly uncurled and slithered across the tabletop and up the tree. “I think those fries need another couple of minutes!”

  “Uh … thanks,” Mike mumbled.

  Boom-boom-ba-boom! The Mango Men started pounding again.

  Whoosh! The torches in the lounge brightened and Buddy Kool moved
to the center of the room, holding a microphone. “Welcome to the Junga-Lounge!” he said. “The big show is ready to start! It will knock your socks off. It’ll bring back memories—the prehistoric kind! Ha-ha!”

  “Funny,” Liz said. “Can we go now?”

  Buddy Kool smiled at her. “Let me put it this way. NO!” He laughed. “You kids gotta hang around for the big show.” He pointed up.

  Mike looked to the ceiling. “Huh? What do you mean hang—”

  Fwing! Instantly a net dropped over the two kids and hoisted them up out of their chairs and upside down into the air.

  “Whoa!” groaned Mike, flipping over. “Now I’m really glad I didn’t eat anything!”

  In a flash, the net was hanging right over the shark pool. It twisted two feet above the surface.

  “Speaking of eating,” Buddy Kool said, “how do you know a shark likes you?”

  Liz and Mike glared at him.

  “He comes back for seconds!”

  CHOMP! The shark leaped up and snapped at Liz and Mike. It dived back and circled around.

  “Get us out of here!” Liz demanded. “We’re American kids and you can’t do this to us!”

  Boom-ba-boom-boom! Ba-boom-boom-ba!

  “Oooh, too bad. The show’s already starting,” cooed Buddy Kool, sipping a frothy drink from a pineapple.

  As the pounding got louder and faster, something totally amazing, unbelievable, and weird happened. The Mango Men suddenly stopped pounding. But the pounding went on!

  Boom-ba-boom-boom! Ba-boom-boom-ba!

  The sounds echoed up into the room. Up from below! The pounding came from under the floor! Under the ground! Under the Junga-Lounge!

  Buddy Kool yelled into his microphone like a game show host. “Come on up! Join the party!”

  As Liz fixed her eyes on the floor. Slowly, the floor began to slide open.

  “Whoa!” yelled Mike, struggling to see. “Caves! Lots and lots of caves!”

  “And lots and lots of Mango Men!” Liz cried.

  Yes, beneath the floor, beneath the ground, were caves, hundreds of them, snaking down into the earth. And coming up through the caves were weedy men. They were dressed in suits made of twigs and grass and vines. They had sticks too.

  “It’s a whole underground world!” said Liz.

  “Oh, the caves?” said Buddy, coiling his dangly hair curl so it hung just right. “They go way back. Way back. The caves have been there forever. It’s where the Mango Men come from.”

  “And you too?” asked Liz.

  “Me!” Buddy Kool laughed. “Nah, I come from New Jersey.” Then he held the microphone away and leaned closer to Liz and Mike. “The truth is, the Mangoes got the sticks, I got the brains. But, they also got great big Tiki men.”

  Skkkssss! He slurped the last sip of juice from his pineapple. “You see, when I was a kid growing up, my friends always wanted to play baseball. I wanted to take over the world. This is a dream come true for me.”

  “Well, it’s a nightmare for us,” Liz growled.

  Kool sighed. “I’ll never forget the day when I fell through a hole and met the Mango Men. Boy, did I impress them! I could tell by the way they said, ‘Ugh.’ As they say, the rest is history. Or should I say, prehistory!”

  Errr! Errr! The net swung lower and lower.

  “You’ll never get away with this!” Liz cried.

  Buddy Kool frowned. “Hey, are you hungry?”

  Mike’s stomach growled. “Sure,” he said. “But no curly fries. I don’t—”

  “Not you!” snapped Kool. “I was talking to the shark.” He lowered Liz and Mike to the water. Then he stopped. “Wait, did I tell you the one about how you can tell a shark likes you?”

  “Yes!” Mike snarled at him.

  “Oh,” Buddy Kool said. “Then I guess there’s nothing more to say before I feed you to him!” He continued to lower the rope.

  “No, wait! Tell us again!” cried Liz, watching the pool bubble below her.

  “Yeah,” Mike pleaded, “we liked it so much the first time! The punch line is great. We love it.”

  “Nah, you heard it already,” said Buddy Kool. “It’s spoiled.”

  “Oh, man!” went Mike.

  Errrk! went the rope.

  Splash! went the pool.

  Snap! went the shark.

  9

  Zonerama!

  KA—RRRRRUNCH!

  No, it wasn’t the shark. It was the door, bursting into splinters as three figures barreled into the lounge.

  “Hey, that bamboo cost me a fortune!” yelled Buddy Kool, stopping the rope.

  “Ha! We don’t care about your door. We care about our friends!” Jeff shouted, gritting his teeth and swinging a bat over his head. Sean and Holly stepped up behind him.

  Yes, the three best friends of Liz and Mike were standing in the doorway, fully equipped with baseballs, bats, and attitudes!

  The Mango Men shook their thick wooden sticks. “Ugh! Ugh!” they chanted. Then they charged over the rope bridge at the three kids!

  “Stand back!” snarled Sean. “Let’s see what the grass guys can do against this!” He wound up and shot his fastball right at the men.

  FWOOSH! The ball blazed through the lounge at top speed!

  “Whoa!” gasped Mike. “The kid can throw!”

  “Ugh!” cried the head Mango Man. He pushed his friends aside and swung with his thick wooden stick. Whack! The ball shot back at Jeff.

  Jeff leaped over a mushroom table and—fwap!—caught the ball in his bare hand. “One out!”

  And so the battle of the century began.

  Bonk! Fapp! Thunk! Bwam! Sticks flailed, bats swung, baseballs hurtled, coconuts flew. Two Mango Men trapped Jeff against a mushroom table. Holly dived and swatted them with her bat.

  Jeff leaped up free. “Thanks, Holly!”

  “Hey, don’t forget us!” Liz called out.

  “Oh, right. The reason we’re here!” Jeff said as he and Holly dodged a volley of pineapples, raced over to the net, jumped up, and clung to it. Then they started to swing the net back and forth.

  The shark leaped up just as the net swung over the floor and Holly untied the rope.

  WUMP! The sack of kids dropped to the floor.

  CHOMP! The shark ate empty air.

  Liz jumped up to see Buddy Kool slipping out the back door. At the same moment, a horde of Mango Men burst up from the caves below. “Ugh! Ugh!”

  “Reinforcements!” Liz plucked some ripe nuts from overhead and heaved them. “Let’s beat it!”

  “Follow me!” yelled Sean. He led the charge through a bunch of bustling bush boys. A bat in each hand, he and Holly spun their arms like twin propellers! Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh!

  The Mango Men fell back for an instant and the five kids rushed through the bamboo door, and out the pitcher’s mound to the field above.

  “Yes! We’re out!” cried Mike, jumping up and down. “We’re saved!”

  But what they saw next stopped them cold. The sun was falling behind the hills. Shadows fell over the jungly town.

  The five giant Tiki heads had formed an enormous triangle around Grover’s Mill. Their black eyes sparked and sizzled with eerie power.

  “I knew it!” Liz cried. “We’re too late!”

  “Ha! Ha! And now—the grand finale!” Buddy Kool cried into a microphone from the top of the bleachers. “The end of Grover’s Mill!”

  The jungle went strangely calm and quiet. Shadows rose and fell from torches held high by the huge army of Mango Men.

  Liz knew something was about to happen. Something terrible.

  Kool stood high on the bleachers. He held the stone tablet in front of him and translated the strange markings.

  From the earth, dead men will rise

  And grow the jungle with their eyes.

  But what the great stone heads will steal

  One past and future stone will heal.

  “Oooh!” said Buddy Kool, putting the stone down. “
Mysterious, huh? But that reminds me. What do you call a Tiki man who pops up from a baseball field in Grover’s Mill? Give up? Home! Get it? HOME!” He buckled over in laughter.

  Liz couldn’t take it anymore. “Why you—” But before she could move an inch, the ground began to shake. Thunder exploded in the air. Lightning blasted across the sky.

  Then—KKKK—ZZZZZZ!

  The deep eyes of every giant Tiki man glowed. Piercing red beams shot from one Tiki man to another until they formed a giant sizzling triangle around the town. It flashed like lightning.

  “The triangle of weirdness,” Liz gasped, unable to move. “Now, it’s complete.” Liz felt like giving up, but she knew it wasn’t over. Something even worse was going to happen. But how? What could be worse than turning her town into a jungle?

  Liz huddled next to her four friends. She listened to a distant sound. It was strange. It was weird.

  Glub-glub!

  “Is that … Lake Lake?” Mike mumbled.

  It was Lake Lake. The giant O of water, sitting on the edge of town like milk at the bottom of a cereal bowl, was bubbling over!

  Splooooosh! The water exploded in wave after enormous wave. It flooded out around the town.

  “Grover’s Mill is becoming an island!” cried Holly. “We’re going back in time!”

  Water roared across the dusty plains surrounding Grover’s Mill. Within minutes, the town was a tiny island in a vast gurgling sea.

  “And now … for the really big finish!” Buddy Kool cried out from the top of the bleachers, snapping his fingers. “And, yes, folks, you may start your applause any time!”

  Suddenly, from the big stone faces of the big stone heads, came deep, thundering sounds. The heads were talking. Talking … English!

  “Revenge!” boomed the first head.

  “Revenge!” boomed the second.

  “Revenge! Revenge!” boomed the third and fourth heads.

  “Let me guess,” Liz snarled at the fifth head.

  “Revenge!” it boomed, like the others.