Rocky takes his seat on the other side of the girl and Jillian rises. As she does, everyone begins to dig into their food. I turn to my plate of powdered eggs, bread and oatmeal. Two months ago I wouldn’t have touched this food, but now I can’t wait to scarf it down.
“It’s about time the sleeping beauties graced us with their presence,” MJ says teasingly, as we wait for Jillian to get her notes together. MJ is sitting directly across from me, with Jason on his left and Jasmine sitting next to Jason. There hadn’t even been room for her in that spot when we came to this table, but Jasmine, determined as ever, wiggled her way in, making Willie, the man who was next to him, have to move over.
I roll my eyes at MJ. “We were tired,” I say in our defense. Using my fork, I scoop all my eggs and load them into my oatmeal.
Wade, who’s sitting beside me, chuckles. “We were tired too, but you didn’t see us sleeping all day.”
“Settle down,” Jillian says, as she stands in the front of the room. “It’s time to give out the duties that the new members will have. We had to look at our needs and your abilities to fill those needs. This isn’t anything I haven’t discussed with you all individually.”
“Wait? When did she do that?” Jasmine whispers, confused.
Jillian clears her throat. “Wade, Ian and Jason you will be added into the scouting rotation, hunting rotation and defense rotation.” They all nod. “Mariah,” she says, using Ms. Burgess’ first name. “You will be in charge of the education of the children and, when needed, assist with meals.”
I look over to where Ms. Burgess—Mariah—is sitting, surrounded by Masana and four other children. I learned that three of them are orphans, siblings found roaming around by themselves. Mariah looks better, like she’s coming back to life as she settles into a familiar role. Winston lies sprawled underneath their table, sleeping. His belly looks fatter than ever, pretty soon the ribs that protrude from his stomach will become less and less visible.
“Sinta,” Jillian continues. “You will assist your mom in the clinic as needed and also help out in the garden.” I nod my understanding. She came to me yesterday and we talked about what I would do. Since I’ve helped my mom out for years, joining her is second nature. And because I’ll have to clean up after Winston, who I’m training to use the bathroom on the three-by-three area that Dave covered with dirt and planted grass on, I’ll be spending a lot of time in the artificially lit room where the garden is housed.
“Mia, you will assist with meals and also help out in the garden. Jasmine, you will help with the cleaning. And last but not least, Masana, your job is to go to class and assist with the garden. Any questions?”
“Umm.” Jasmine raises her hand. “I have a question.”
Jillian glances to Jasmine. “Yes?”
“So, how do we change jobs…duties or whatever? Is there some kind of Human Resources here or something, because I don’t want to clean.”
Jillian pauses for a beat as if she’s trying to contain her emotions. “Well,” she starts slowly. “If you would have woken up when I came to your room yesterday, we could have discussed what duties you wanted to do, but since you didn’t, and told me to sign you up for whatever, so…”
I almost choke on my eggs and oatmeal. I told her to get up and talk with Jillian, but she refused, keeping the blanket over her head. I knew that was going to come back to bite her in the butt.
“I would have offered something else up if I would’ve known that you planned to make me a maid,” Jasmine whines.
“No one here is a maid. We all do a job that benefits the community.”
“Well, I can do make-up. I went a year at the community college to become a make-up artist to the stars.” She takes a quick glance around. “From what I see all the women here could use a little foundation, blush and shadow. I don’t have a kit, but if someone brings me back one, I’d be more than happy to start that job ASAP.”
Snickering could be heard from around the room and all I can do is lower my head. Oh Jeez.
“Does anyone need help with their make-up?” I glance up, wondering if someone is going to answer and, to my surprise, Jillian actually had a straight face when she asked the question.
When no one answers, Jillian settles her eyes on Jasmine. “I guess we don’t need that service here. Now, moving on…”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jasmine doesn’t say another word and sits, red-faced, through the rest of the meeting. When it’s finally over, the sound erupts from soft murmurings to a rush of excited noise. Everyone talks and chats as they finish breakfast, and although I wanted another helping of oatmeal I refrained from asking, remembering that we have to stick to our fifteen-hundred calorie a day diet. “We’re at war.” Eric’s voice echoes in my head.
One by one, as everyone finishes their meal, they get up and go over to the sink, where soapy water waits, and they wash and rinse their dishes. We’re also responsible for wiping down the tables where we sat, as well as sweeping the floor around us. I don’t know why Jasmine is all in a tizzy; we pretty much cleaned the mess hall for her.
After I finish doing my duties, I head for the door, eager to start my first day with my mom. Mia has already gone to the garden, to find out what she’ll need to do there. I stop, hearing Winston’s nails on the floor as he trots to me. When I turn around my eye catches Jason, following him. I stop by the entrance, waiting for them both.
“What’s up?” he asks when he reaches my side.
“Nothing, headed to the clinic, you?” I start down the hallway that will take me to my destination. “What do you have up for the day?” I try to keep the conversation light. No need to bring up old feelings.
“I’m going hunting later. Rocky is teaching us how to use a bow and arrows today.” He steps in line with me. “I can’t wait.”
“Really?” I ask, my interest piqued. Maybe he’ll teach me how to use them too. I’m no hunter, but the idea of training creates a crackle of excitement within my chest. “I want to learn.”
“I’m sure he’ll teach you. After dinner we go to a training room where he teaches us self-defense and how to use various weapons. He’s got a ton of stuff there. It’s pretty cool, you should come.”
I nod, thinking of all the weapons he must have there. My sword is the only weapon I have left. I gave my guns up to Rocky when we came. The guys have more use for them than I do, keeping them in my locker won’t do anyone any good. “I will.” Tonight.
We walk in silence, our shoes thumping on the ground. Before we reach the clinic door he turns to me. “I wanted to get you alone. I want to talk to you about, you know.”
Argh. This is not what I want right now. I don’t need to hear again how he can’t like me because he sees me as a little sister. So far I’ve been avoiding being anywhere alone with him for any extended amount of time, just in case he felt guilty and felt the need to discuss what happened again. “Uh, about what?” I mentally kick myself.
Don’t ask ‘what’ dweeb. If I ask “what” he’s likely to answer it. I pick up my pace. Get inside the clinic where my mom is. That’s a sure way to avoid this conversation.
He stops and tugs on my arm, making me stop as well. He leans against the wall, positioning me to settle in front of him.
I’ve looked at Jason many times before, probably too many times to count, but I haven’t allowed myself to really look at him since he crushed my heart. He’s more handsome than before, is the first thought that comes to mind.
He’s clean shaven and someone has trimmed his hair. It’s not the best cut, but gone is the hair that used to hang over his eyes—his beautiful eyes. Before they had been alive with fire, life, mischief and playfulness, but now…they were sad—so sad. I want to cup his face in my hands and ask him why his eyes hold so much sorrow, but I already know.
He doesn’t have his family.
If I were a better person, I would have pushed my petty feelings aside and recognized the turmoil he was going t
hrough. I was his friend once, we used to talk and joke. Before things changed he would have been able to come to me and let me know what was going on, divulging his feelings about not being with his dad, mom or brother.
“I miss you,” I say, breaking the ice. He shouldn’t have to apologize for not liking me to repair our friendship. That’s not how friendship works.
He hitches his breath. “I…I…”
I think I caught him off guard. One corner of my mouth lifts up into a smile. “I’ve been a bad friend. I found my mom and let everything else fall to the wayside. I’m sorry.”
“Well, um.” He clears his throat. “I thought I was going to have to beg and grovel for your forgiveness—which I was fully prepared to do, mind you.”
I chuckle and punch his arm playfully. “We’re still friends. I’m a big girl. I can take rejection.”
He takes my forearms and pulls me closer to him. There’s hardly any room between us. My heart skips a beat and my breathing picks up. The same old feelings rush back like a geyser.
“I’m sorry about that,” he whispers. “It nearly tore me up inside.”
I shake my head. “N…no, you d…didn’t have to feel that way.”
He lets his hands run down my arm to twine his fingers with mine. “You don’t understand. I didn’t always do the right thing. I’ve taken advantage of girls before. The old me would have jumped all over you.” He gives my hands a light squeeze. “But that’s not something I could have done with you. I wanted to do this right for once, not rushing in blindly, not caring about the consequences or the end product.”
My mind swims with words and emotions that I can’t sort out. I open and close my mouth, trying to force the words out, but nothing spills from my lips.
The door of the clinic opens and my mother sticks her head out. “Sinta?” she asks, when she sees me. “Oh, hi Jason. I thought I heard people talking. No need to stay out there, why don’t you both come in?”
Continue this conversation in front of my mom? I don’t think so.
Jason must have the same thought as I do because he says, “Sorry Diana, but I was just walking Sinta to work. I’m hunting today so I better get myself ready before Rocky gets mad.”
She chuckles. “Yeah, Rocky is the last person you want to get mad.”
Jason squeezes my hand again. “Catch you later, Sin.”
“Sure.”
He lets go and turns to walk down the hallway. I don’t dare watch him leave. It’s bad enough that my mom caught us almost pressed against each other and him holding my hands. I don’t want to explain the ogling either.
She steps back to let me enter through the door. I head straight for the sink to wash my hands, as is her rule for anyone entering the clinic.
“Hmm, well that was interesting,” she says.
“What?” Dammit! Don’t ask what.
“You and Jason all lovey-dovey. I swear that boy was about to kiss you.”
I groan. This is also a conversation that I don’t want to have.
“If he would have done that, I’m sure I would have been scooping a Sinta-puddle off the ground and I wouldn’t blame you either. That boy is hot.”
“Mom! Stop!”
* * * * *
The conversation I thought would continue later doesn’t, and I can’t say I’m overly upset about it. He wants to be good? Well, let him be good, because if that’s the good Jason then I highly doubt I can handle the bad Jason.
We hardly see each other, as we both settle into our duties. It’s strange. I’m used to seeing all of them from the time I get up until the time I go to sleep. We’ve all been constant companions and now to be separated feels as though I’ve lost a part of myself. At breakfast we continue to sit together, listening to the morning meeting and afterward scarfing down our food and listening to each other talk.
Our conversations are never on the past or about what we’ve gone through, we focus on the here and now. Talk about going back to Ann Arbor to find family members or other band members has grown less and less, until finally we don’t talk about it at all.
Our days are filled with working and keeping the community going. With three more men added to the scouting and hunting, our food choices have grown and asking for seconds isn’t a bad thing anymore. They also bring back more items from the scouting trips. MJ even brought me back some hair products and hair bands on one of them. What would seem like a small gesture anywhere else is a huge one here. Anything could have happened to him while he was stuffing the items in his sack, and for him to have even been thinking of me when he could have been captured or killed speaks volumes of our friendship.
The scouting details also bring us back news of the aliens. As the weather becomes warmer the aliens are seen more. They continue to patrol our area, making going out much more dangerous now.
Lunch time is usually uneventful, as food is set out on the long table and when people have a break in their chores, they come in and out as they please. I can find only a couple of people sitting at the tables during this time. But things get livelier at dinner. Everyone is done with their chores and the guys are back from topside. Dinner has more of a festive attitude. No one takes for granted that the guys who were topside have returned healthy and sound. Every night feels like a party.
I took Jason’s advice and, after dinner, joined him and the other guys in the training room to learn from Rocky. The first time I went I was surprised that I was the only female there, but after that first workout I understood why. The training was almost as brutal as a long day’s walk. I almost had to crawl to the showers and to bed. But after a week of training I could finally walk to the showers instead of being helped.
Ms. Burgess has taken Masana under her wing, treating her like the daughter she never had. The younger girl still doesn’t talk as much, but her eyes aren’t as vacant anymore. Ms. Burgess thinks she’s slowly coming back to reality. We all understand that it’ll take some time and we don’t want to rush her. One day she’ll feel comfortable enough to open up and talk about what she went through.
Jasmine is still Jasmine. She still has her sights set on Jason even though he doesn’t want anything to do with her. Despite her earlier complaints, she’s handy with a mop and cloth and is pulling her weight in the compound. She still has a problem with saying the first thing that pops into her head and flows from her mouth.
Wade is…different. He’s become a man, a provider and friend. I know he’d like to become more, but that’s not where I see us going. I’ve only had to tell him that once, and, like Jason, he hasn’t brought it up again. But that doesn’t mean that he let it go. There’s still the rubs on my back and shoulder. The smiles that are meant just for me. My mom thinks I’m playing hard to get with him, but that’s not it at all. He’s my friend and that’s how I want to keep it. I can’t think about trying to have a relationship with Wade. It would be wrong. Especially since my heart belongs to someone else.
But while I’m content with pushing the feelings I have for Jason to the side and Wade is being Wade, Ian seems to be the only one who has matured in that area. He stunned us all by asking Mia to marry him. After she said yes, they moved into one room. They’re both over eighteen so no one could really object. They call themselves married and to us they are. There’s no certificate to make it legal, but even if we did have one, who would they file it with? They wrote their vows and declared their love and that was good enough for all of us. There was no rings but even that didn’t matter. We pronounced them husband and wife and Jillian made one of her special dinners again.
Ta-da! Married.
All in all, we settled in nicely.
Chapter Twenty-Six
July 16th, 2012
“We have to start preparing for the winter,” Eric says, entering the kitchen and making a beeline for the bread that Jillian has just pulled out of the oven. “I’ve come to check the supplies.”
“Already?” I ask. I’ve come to visit Mia for a few minutes. The
clinic is quiet and it’s not my turn in the garden. But to pass the time I plan to head there after I leave the kitchen.
“We don’t want to be caught with our pants down at the first sign of snow.”
He reaches for a piece of Jillian’s bread, but she slaps his hand, making a loud smacking sound. “I didn’t make that for only you, mister. You’ll get your share at dinner.”
He pulls his hand back and shakes it in the air. “Have you been lifting weights woman? Ouch.”
I stifle a giggle with my hand.
“Big baby.” Mia cuts off a slice of the bread and hands him a piece. “Here you go, this should tide you over.”
Jillian puts her hands on her hips. “What did I tell you about feeding strays? You’ll never get rid of him now,” she jokes.
Mia looks to Jillian sheepishly. “I’m sorry, but I owe him for the candy bar that he brought me yesterday.”
“That was so good,” I say, rubbing my stomach. “I haven’t had candy in ages.”
He stuffs the bread in his mouth. “I knew what I was doing when I brought back the chocolate,” he says, eating with his mouth full of food. “Men are outnumbered here. I consider that a smart move.”
Jillian shakes her head and turns back to kneading the next batch of bread that she’s baking. “Well, nobody said you were dumb, Eric.”
“We should be pretty good on supplies; we’ve been stocking up.” he says, making his way to the storage room. “Pretty soon our storage room will be overflowing,” he hollers. “Which is good because hunting and scavenging will be dangerous when the snow falls. Snow fall equals footsteps and trails. We’ll have to spend most of our time hunkered down in the compound to avoid leading the lizards straight to us.”
Against The Darkness (Cimmerian Moon) Page 25