Heart of Glass

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  “No these ones.” She kicked out her feet, trying to push the sandals back off.

  “Henrietta,” I hissed, trying in vain to make her stop kicking like a lunatic. “Stop it.”

  “Me like those!”

  “Jesus,” I mumbled, standing up. My face was burning with mortification when I met Trevor’s eyes.

  “Grab the boots,” he said calmly.

  Then, without fanfare, he picked Etta up and started carrying her out of the shoe department. I grabbed the boots from the shelf and threw them in the cart as I followed. By the time I caught up with them, Etta was completely silent.

  “You all done?” Trevor asked, walking toward the checkout lines.

  “Yes.” I leaned around him, but Etta was facing away from me and I couldn’t see her expression.

  “I think I startled her,” Trevor said, accurately reading my confusion. “She stopped as soon as I started walking.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I mumbled.

  He didn’t let me pay and he was so gracious about the whole thing that by the time we got to his truck, I was so embarrassed I could have cried. After quickly buckling Etta into her seat, he turned to me but didn’t say whatever was on his mind. Instead, he shut Etta’s door and took my face in his hands.

  “She’s two,” he said softly, giving me a sweet smile. “Don’t stress.”

  “You still bought her the stupid boots,” I choked out.

  “She’s two,” he repeated. “And I have a feeling she’ll be asleep before we leave the parking lot.”

  “It’s so embarrassing when she does that,” I confessed, resting my hands on his sides. “Everyone was staring.”

  “No one was paying any attention.”

  “Like, God, what a horrible mother,” I continued like he hadn’t spoken. “Why can’t she control her kid?”

  Trevor burst out laughing and leaned down to kiss me firmly on the lips. “Anyone that thinks that has never had a two-year-old,” he said, kissing me again. “Now, hop in the truck and I’ll load our bags.”

  “I can help,” I argued.

  “Truck, Morgan,” he said, ignoring me as he started putting bags into the storage box in the truck bed. “Hurry, it’s about to start raining.”

  He shifted as I tried to reach past him, bumping me deliberately with his ass as he continued to unload the cart. “Go.”

  * * *

  Over the next few days, we fell into a familiar pattern. Trevor made us breakfast in the mornings before he left for work, just like he’d promised, but I was the one who made lunch and dinner. I didn’t feel right letting him wait on us, especially when he refused to let me pay for any of the groceries, and, honestly, I enjoyed doing things for him. I’d fallen surprisingly easily into the domestic role, and I couldn’t say that I disliked it, even though it felt pretty damn weird.

  Etta and I usually spent the day playing with the puppy and taking rainy walks around the property. We never strayed so far that we lost sight of the house, but we still found new areas to explore every time we went out. Trevor’s property was gorgeous, and Jesus did it smell good, especially after it rained. Everything felt clean and fresh out there in the middle of nowhere.

  Unfortunately, before Trevor had left for work that morning he’d dropped a little bomb into the center of our idyllic break from reality. We hadn’t seen anyone else since we’d arrived, and I had a feeling that Trevor had asked them to stay away for a little while. I’d been really thankful for the reprieve as we’d settled in, but it looked like the easy visit was coming to a close and things were about to get a bit more complicated.

  Trevor’s family always had dinner together on Friday nights. It was some sort of tradition that had been going on for years. He’d been really cool about it, and had made it clear that we didn’t have to go, which I appreciated. However, I couldn’t really think of a reason to refuse beyond pure selfishness.

  So, instead of taking Etta on a nature walk that afternoon, I was busy cleaning us up and making us presentable. I dried and curled my hair for the first time in weeks, put Etta in an outfit that actually matched, packed up the diaper bag with enough supplies to take care of any emergency, and made sure we were ready by the time Trevor pulled in from work that evening.

  “Damn,” he said, grinning as he caught sight of us sitting on the couch. “How did I get so lucky?”

  “I know,” I replied, standing up and twirling around. “I actually showered today.”

  “You did?” he joked, coming in close. He sniffed. “Yeah, you did.”

  I burst out laughing and pushed at his chest. “I didn’t stink.”

  “Well,” he replied, drawing out the word like he didn’t agree.

  Etta chose that moment to stand up and do a little twirl of her own.

  “Me wearing fethah panties,” she said proudly.

  Trevor looked at me for clarification.

  “Feather,” I murmured, snorting as Etta did a little dance. “I have no idea why she’s so proud of her diapers, but I have a feeling at some point it’s going to become a problem.”

  “As long as we can break her of it before she starts preschool,” Trevor replied in mock seriousness. “I think we’re safe.”

  “From your mouth to God’s ears,” I said, raising my hands in supplication.

  After a quick change out of his work clothes, Trevor led us outside to his truck. The nights had been getting colder since we’d arrived, and I had a feeling it was going to be getting pretty cold before too long. Our days of exploring were going to come to an end if I didn’t get us some winter clothes.

  “We’re eating at my aunt and uncle’s place,” Trevor said as he pulled out of the driveway. “They’re just right down the road.”

  “I remember,” I murmured.

  I was nervous about seeing everyone again and I wasn’t really looking forward to dinner, but it seemed like Trevor was even tenser than I was. He wasn’t outwardly nervous or anything, but there was something about the way he held himself that put me on edge. I couldn’t describe the vibe I was getting from him so I didn’t bother to say anything about it on the short drive, but I continued to watch him closely.

  Within minutes, we were walking past a bunch of vehicles to the front door of his aunt and uncle’s house. I’d known they had a big family, but walking by all of those cars really drove the point home, no pun intended.

  “Hey,” Ani greeted the minute Trevor ushered me through the front door. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “You too,” I said, following Trevor’s lead as he took off his boots. “How’s Arielle? Is she sleeping yet?”

  “Unfortunately, no,” Ani said ruefully. “But we’re getting about two more hours than before, so I’m just going to be thankful for that.”

  “Yikes,” I murmured.

  Just then, three little boys of varying ages came running down the hallway yelling for Trevor. As soon as they reached him they started wrapping their little bodies around his torso, and with a look of pure horror Etta practically dove out of his arms in an effort to reach me.

  Thankfully, I caught her just before she toppled out of his arms.

  “Boys,” he said firmly, bracing himself on the wall. The boys instantly quieted and looked at him expectantly. “Morgan, this is Keller, Gavin, and Gunner. They’re Shane and Kate’s boys.”

  “Hey guys,” I said, trying and failing to get Etta to release her death grip on my neck. “This is Etta.”

  They said their hellos to me and Etta, but lost interest really quickly as they continued to climb on Trevor. I watched quietly as he listened to each of their stories with complete concentration and replied with questions that showed he’d been listening. Slowly, we moved out of the entryway and into the living room, where Ani and Abraham were sitting on the couch across from another woman.

  As soon as the woman turned to say something to Trevor, I recognized her.

  “Hey Trev—“ Her eyes widened when she saw me and Etta. “Holy
crap, you’re here!”

  She jumped off the couch happily and came in for a hug. There wasn’t anything uncomfortable or awkward about it, either. I had only one arm free, but I used it to squeeze her back.

  “It’s good to see you again,” Kate said like we were old friends and it hadn’t been over ten years. “You look great.”

  “You do too,” I replied.

  “Ha!” She laughed. “I don’t think I’ve washed my hair in a week.”

  “I only did today because we were coming here,” I confessed, making her laugh some more.

  “Well, don’t feel the need to do it next time,” she said, leading me to the little grouping of seats. “Friday night dinner isn’t anything fancy.”

  “One time the guys got back from hunting right before dinner and they all came to the table smelling like complete ass,” Ani added with a snicker. “Liz didn’t even say a word, she just moved all of their plates to the back porch.”

  “Oh, God,” Kate said with a groan. “I totally remember that.”

  “We filled the freezer that year,” Abraham pointed out.

  “Completely irrelevant,” Ani replied with a conciliatory pat on his knee.

  “Hey, Katie,” Trevor said as he finally extracted himself from the little boys.

  She stood back up and gave him a big hug, murmuring something I couldn’t hear into his ear. He nodded, but when he pulled away I couldn’t read anything in his expression.

  “Did you guys fly?” he asked, sitting down next to me.

  “Of course,” she replied. “It’s more expensive, but it helps me keep my sanity.” Kate looked at me and smiled ruefully. “I have five kids. Road trips are the worst.”

  I didn’t say much as the conversation flowed around me. There was an easy relationship among all of them that was evident in the way they teased and bickered. I liked that. It reminded me of what it was like when Miranda and I hung out with Danny and Lorraine’s boys.

  “I hear I have a great-niece in here,” Trevor’s aunt called as she walked into the room. “Morgan, I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m Liz.” She reached out and shook my hand warmly.

  “Of course I remember you,” I replied with a smile. “This is Etta.”

  “Hi, Etta,” Liz said, leaning down a little so she could see Etta’s face. “It’s kind of overwhelming in here, isn’t it? You’ll get used to it, though, and when you’re ready, there’s toys in the other room.”

  Etta didn’t reply, but she smiled a little around the thumb in her mouth.

  “It sometimes takes a minute for her to warm up,” I said apologetically.

  “Aw, I don’t blame her,” Liz said, grinning as she stood straight again. “We’re a noisy bunch.”

  She left almost as quickly as she’d come, assuring everyone that dinner was almost done and she didn’t need any help. As she left the room, a little girl came in and climbed onto Trevor’s knee. Etta’s entire body stiffened as she watched, then relaxed as she became fascinated with who I assumed was Kate’s oldest daughter.

  “Hi, I’m Sage,” she said, introducing herself to me as soon as she’d sat down.

  “I’m Morgan and this is Etta,” I replied, bouncing Etta a little on my lap. “She’s deciding to play shy at the moment.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Sage said conspiratorially to Etta. “It keeps those annoying boys away.”

  “Boys away,” Etta agreed, leaning toward Sage just a little.

  “We’ve got some toys in the other room, though,” Sage said, shrugging one shoulder. “If you want to play.”

  “Me play,” Etta replied, sitting up completely.

  “Is that okay?” Sage asked me.

  “It’s just on the other side of that wall,” Trevor said, tipping his chin toward the toy room.

  “It’s okay with me,” I replied, letting Etta climb off my lap.

  She followed Sage out of the room without a single glance backward.

  “Kids are weird,” Kate said with a laugh. “How is it that easy to make friends?”

  “I have no idea,” I said, shaking my head.

  Conversation started up again, and before long I was a part of it. The Harris and Evans families were easy to be around, just like I remembered from when I was a kid. It was a relief to know that I’d been nervous for no reason.

  I was feeling pretty good about the whole situation a half hour later as I used the bathroom and washed my hands. Etta was having a good time, Trevor’s family was super welcoming, and I hadn’t felt out of place since the initial few minutes inside the house. So I kind of felt like I’d been hit with a two-by-four when I came out of the bathroom and overheard the conversation happening between Trevor and his parents. They must have arrived right after I’d gone to the bathroom.

  “You know you’re always welcome,” Mike said. “Everyone just got a little worked up—”

  “I wasn’t worked up,” Trevor replied flatly. “And Mom was pretty clear.”

  “I was just frustrated,” Ellie said. “I don’t know how you can talk about your brother like that.”

  “Like what? Like he was human? Like he was a deadbeat who left his daughter and didn’t look back?”

  “Trevor,” Mike said in warning.

  “I loved him as much as you did, but I’m not going to pretend he was a saint.”

  “No one’s asking you to, son.”

  “All of this over that woman?” Ellie asked, making my throat tighten. “What has gotten into you?”

  “Are we just going to pretend that none of us were pissed at Henry when we found out what he’d done?” Trevor asked tiredly.

  “Is that how you’re excusing it?” Ellie asked, her voice softening. “Because you’re mad at him?”

  “Jesus Christ, Mom,” Trevor said in disgust. They still hadn’t noticed me at the end of the hallway. “I’m in love with Morgan. Saying that has anything to do with Henry is like saying that the Giants are going to win the Super Bowl because Bram decided to wear an orange shirt yesterday.”

  “I think—”

  “No,” Trevor cut her off. Ellie’s back was to me, so I couldn’t see her expression, but I’d never forget the look on Trevor’s face as he met her straight on. “This ends now.” He glanced at his dad, who was surprisingly silent. “I’m in love with Morgan. She’s funny and kind and stubborn as all hell, and at some point I want to have a family with her. You can be pissed about it if you want, but I’m telling you right now”—he paused, taking a deep breath—“you won’t win this. All you’re doing is ensuring the fact that I won’t let you anywhere near her or Etta. Henry did enough—this family isn’t going to pile any more bullshit on top of her.”

  I must have made some noise, because as soon as Trevor had finished speaking his eyes rose to meet mine and he lifted his hand in my direction. “You ready to go, baby?” he asked. “Think we’ll come back for dinner another time.”

  He came toward me and wrapped his long fingers around mine, then walked me past his parents, making sure that he was a solid barrier between us. If he’d asked, I would have told him he didn’t need to do that. I wasn’t afraid of them.

  Sometime between him telling them that he loved me and his refusal to listen to a word they said, I seemed to have grown this weird barrier that made it feel like nothing could touch me. I calmly grabbed Etta’s bag and shoved my feet into my shoes as Trevor grabbed the baby, and in less than two minutes we were out the front door and walking toward the truck. We climbed in without a word, and instead of driving toward home, Trevor headed to town.

  It wasn’t until he’d ordered us burgers and french fries from a small drive-up diner that I finally found my voice.

  “I love you,” I said, just as he’d taken a large bite of his hamburger. “I know it’s probably a really shitty time to tell you that, after all that stuff that happened with your parents, but—”

  He dropped the burger and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck, and when he kissed me, he taste
d like the thousand island dressing they’d put on his hamburger and a little like onions. It didn’t matter. His lips were both soft and scratchy when he pressed them against mine and his hand was firm on the back of my neck, providing an anchor I hadn’t realized I’d needed until that moment.

  “Anytime is a good time to tell me that,” he said against my lips.

  We pulled apart when Etta started kicking the back of the seat, then ate our dinners quickly. The drive back to the house seemed like it took two hours, and getting Etta to sleep once we got there took another thirty minutes. Eventually, though, I ended up in the middle of Trevor’s bedroom, practically shaking as he stripped my shirt over my head.

  “We should really talk things through,” Trevor said, his hands shaking as he slid them down my arms then up my sides. “That would be the wise thing to do.” He was staring at my torso, and I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or himself. “But if I’m not inside you soon, I might completely lose it.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t want you to lose it,” I teased softly, reaching forward to tug at the hem of his T-shirt.

  “See, you’re joking,” he said, stripping his shirt over his head. “While I stand here, afraid I’m going to pass out.”

  I laughed at his earnest expression.

  “I’m not kidding,” he said, yanking open the front of my jeans. “It’s been too goddamn long.”

  “So what are you waiting for?” I asked as I pushed the pants over my hips.

  “I’m trying to savor the moment,” he replied, ditching his own jeans and boxers all at once.

  “Can we savor it afterward?” I asked hopefully.

  With a growl he leaned forward and threw me over his shoulder, making me laugh hysterically as he stomped toward the bed and tossed me onto it. Before he could even put a knee to the mattress, I was pulling my underwear off and flinging them away. I reached back to unhook my bra, but by the time I could peel it off, his mouth was already on me through the lace, making me groan.

  “I’m going to trace your tattoo with my tongue,” he mumbled, his lips tracing a path down my belly. “Eventually.”

  His lips pressed against me and my legs dropped shamelessly wide as I gasped for breath. The lips that felt so good against my own felt infinitely better when they were manipulating the skin between my thighs. I was racing toward the edge, my fingers digging into the comforter beneath me and my eyes clenched tightly shut when his mouth slid away.