Try Fear
Page 31
I took a half step back and tried to jumble some thoughts together.
“What’s wrong?” Kimberly said.
“I have to do something,” I said.
“Here, I hope.”
“I have to see something.”
“When?”
“Now.”
“Not again,” she said. “You can’t be doing this again.”
“Can I call you later?”
“What is it with you?”
“A good question, Kimberly. That’s what I have to find out.”
She looked at the ceiling. “Is this going to be a journey of self-discovery or some other retro thing?”
“Maybe.”
“There are some aging hippies in Topanga Canyon who can help.”
I touched her arm. “I had a great time tonight.”
“Oh, wow. I haven’t heard that one since high school. No, come to think of it, I was the one who said it.” She laughed.
“I believe you,” I said.
“You’re going to regret this. You’re going to look back and realize what a mistake you made.”
“You may be right.”
“I don’t win cases by being wrong.”
I kissed her cheek. “See you in court, then.”
“I look forward to it,” she said.
183
WHAT I HAD to see was in Eagle Rock.
I got there at eleven the next morning, after a trip to the Apple store. Mary Landis had the room in the very back corner of the house. She let me in, but kept the door open.
Her room was spare. Nothing on the walls but a crucifix and a calendar.
“Where are my manners?” Mary said. “Can I get you something to drink? Some water? Or… some water?”
“I think I’ll have water,” I said. “Do you have a Sparkletts ’ninety-three?”
“I’ll check the cellar,” she said.
There was a small white refrigerator by the window. She pulled out a bottle of water and tossed it to me. She opened one for herself.
I held my bottle out in the gesture of a toast. She laughed and tapped her bottle on mine, then we drank.
I hoped she couldn’t see that the bottle was shaking in my hand.
“What’s in the box?” she said.
“A little present.” I handed it to her.
She opened it and took out the iPod and dock that I’d purchased.
“You’re kidding me,” she said.
“It’s the least I can do for the best investigator I ever had.”
She looked like she wanted to speak, but the words were sticking in her throat.
I gently took the dock and iPod from her. “Let’s try it out,” I said.
I went to an outlet and plugged it in. I set it on the carpet because there was no table nearby. I got on my knees and stuck in the iPod, which I’d specially prepped at the store. I turned it on.
“I have some of my own selections on here,” I said. “I hope you like ’em.”
I looked her way. She was at the other wall, her right arm across her body, holding her left arm. As if to relieve some pain from her shoulder wound. Or some other kind of pain.
I found the song I wanted. The soft, smooth Eric Marienthal version of Mary’s favorite Beatles song.
I stood.
Mary was looking at the floor. There’s about ten seconds of intro before the tune gets recognizable. Mary’s face was expectant, waiting to hear what the song was.
She may have heard my pulse. In my ears it sounded like a Salvation Army drum. But this was the only way I could figure this thing out. I didn’t know what words to use. I thought if I used the wrong ones, it would be like touching a soap bubble.
I didn’t want the bubble to pop. But it wasn’t my call. It had to be hers, all the way. Which is why I was silent. Which is why I cooked up this crazy plan. I guess I put my own faith in this: I’ve spent a lot of years studying faces. Jurors. Witnesses. Judges. Prosecutors. But this was going to be the most important judgment of my life.
Then Marienthal’s sax started in on the first line of the tune. Recognizable. Mary’s eyes widened, and she snapped her head up to look at me.
The song was what connected us, across the small room, which now seemed the size of a football field.
But I could see something. I could see tears forming in her eyes.
I went to her. Mary didn’t move. I put my hand out and waited. It seemed to hang there for an hour, but that was okay with me. I wanted her to think about it.
The second verse started in. Just before I lowered my hand Mary reached out and took it. Now mine was steady and hers was trembling. She squeezed my hand as if she were falling from a cliff and I was the one who’d caught her.
I pulled her to me.
She let go of my hand and wrapped both arms around me. She put her head on my chest. I felt her warm breath through my shirt. The music enveloped us and we didn’t move for a long moment.
And I realized then that all fear was gone. For just that moment, at least, it wasn’t inside me in any form. Or doubts. Or questions.
For just that moment I was whole.
I slid my head down so my lips were next to her ear. She inclined her head a little, listening.
And then I said, “I will.”
Table of Contents
Cover
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
&nb
sp; Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Chapter 149
Chapter 150
Chapter 151
Chapter 152
Chapter 153
Chapter 154
Chapter 155
Chapter 156
Chapter 157
Chapter 158
Chapter 159
Chapter 160
Chapter 161
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Chapter 166
Chapter 167
Chapter 168
Chapter 169
Chapter 170
Chapter 171
Chapter 172
Chapter 173
Chapter 174
Chapter 175
Chapter 176
Chapter 177
Chapter 178
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183