Seeking the Balance

by A. R. Moler

  “Liar.”

  Chapter 3

  The temperature of the air was almost freezing and the sky was heavily overcast the day of Jason Amber’s funeral. Mason stood a ways back from the graveside behind a cluster of people. The pastor was saying something that was probably profound and meant to be comforting, but Mason wasn’t actually listening. He was watching the parents and trying very hard to ignore the heavy grief of the people around him. Jason’s parents were still and composed. They had had a few weeks to come to some kind of terms with their son’s death, some days in which to say goodbye. It couldn’t have been easy, but in a twisted way Mason supposed perhaps it was gentler than a sudden and violent death.

  As the brief graveside part of the service ended, people began to move away. Mason had an over whelming urge to turn and run, or maybe that was just disintegrate, instead he stood motionless, frozen. There was a hard knot of anguish on his chest. It was over. There was nothing he could have done to save Jason’s young life. He’d tried, tried everything he could think of and failed. This was why doctors were supposed to stay detached, because the alternatives were just too damn devastating. Tears would have be a welcome release but Mason’s body refused to cooperate. Finally he managed to force himself to turn and walk away.

  It probably ranked as some small miracle that Mason made it home without incident, because he had absolutely no memory of the drive. Cemetery. Home. Whatever occurred in between was a blank. He let himself into the silence of his house and methodically stripped out of his suit. He grabbed Under Armor leggings and a turtleneck out of a drawer and viciously yanked them on, followed by sneakers and a hoodie. In another couple of minutes, he was back out the door and crossing the road to the beach side of the street.

  He ran. Oblivious to the cold and escalating wind, he ran. When the rain began to fall, he ignored it. He ran until his lungs burned and his muscles ached. He ran because if he stopped he was going to fall completely apart. When Mason reached Rudee Inlet at the far end of the beach he turned around and headed back. There were nearly five miles between here and home.

  When his foot hit an unusually uneven dip in the sand, he stumbled and fell, skidding across damp sand. Shit. Mason dragged himself back to his feet and kept on. His fingers were going numb and the rain was slowly drenching him in icy misery. It was a welcome torture because it was physical and he could force himself to cope with that kind of pain and win. It was something he could control.

  Ten brutal miles. Mason was exhausted, soaked, and half frozen. He staggered into his den and sank into a chair to drag off his sneakers. His sole focus was a hot shower and bed. It didn’t matter that it was only three thirty in the afternoon.

  ~

  The last hour of the day dragged on into an eternity as Cam’s eyes kept straying to his watch. He knew that Mason had gone to Jason Ambers’ funeral in the afternoon. Cam kept expecting a phone call or at least a text message. Nothing. That worried him. Mason’s grief over the death of the child had weighed heavily on the healer during the past few days, and Cam hoped the funeral would bring some form of closure to his lover. Funerals were never for the dead; they were all about the people left behind.

  Cold drizzling rain blew hard against the visor of Cam’s helmet. He'd left work as soon as was feasible and headed straight in the direction of Mason’s place. As nasty as the weather had turned, Cam wondered, not for the first time, if he really ought to consider buying a car, too. As much time as he spent riding between the base and the oceanfront, it was only going to get colder as winter set in. And if he did that, maybe he should just move in with Mason. That thought brought a chill that almost competed with the rain that slashed against his foul weather gear.

  He’d had a roommate before. Many single Naval Officers had roommates. That part would draw little attention, but there was the ever present fear that someone would figure out that his relationship with Mason was far deeper than just two buddies sharing living space. He loved Mason, more than he had ever loved anyone. Did he love Mason enough to risk his career that much? They talked about the issue a little, now and then. There was no easy solution.

  Cam parked the motorcycle beside the Mustang and let himself into the house, ditching his dripping rain gear in the kitchen. The house was unusually quiet and Cam let his talent lead him in the direction of the bedroom.

  The room was dimly lit as the October evening darkness was settling in. Mason was curled beneath the blankets on the bed, knees flexed and head bowed forward, arms tucked in to his chest. A sharp flicker of worry clenched Cam’s hands. Was Mason sick? He’d been pushing himself so very hard.

  Cam sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his fingers lightly through the hair along Mason’s temple. Mason opened his eyes slowly, blinked and squinted up at Cam.

  “You okay?” asked Cam. “You’re not usually in bed at five o’clock.”

  Mason heaved a slow sigh. “I’m fine. Just... I went running, up to Rudee Inlet and back and I got rained on and half frozen and really beat... I sound like an idiot...” Mason’s voice trailed off.

  “Rudee Inlet and back... That’s close to ten miles Mas’. And it’s something like thirty eight degrees and raining. Are you trying to give yourself pneumonia?” snapped Cam, then promptly regretted it when he saw Mason flinch. Cam mentally kicked himself. What his lover really needed was comfort, not a reprimand. Cam knew exactly why Mason had gone running in the freezing fucking cold and wet, but that actually didn’t make it any less stupid. “Yeah, you do sound like a fucking idiot. I know you’re grieving, but you did everything you possibly could. Every week, there are other people who you save. Buchner in Philadelphia, the guy with the exploding down coat, the cop in the car accident, all people who quite possibly wouldn’t have made it if not for you! Start counting the successes for a change. I want to come home and have you tell me what an awesome magnificent job you did and how many lives you saved.”

  Mason gave him a funny, uncertain look. “You said come home...”

  “Yeah, I did. My quarters on base are a place to stow my stuff, this is home. Home is where you are, and I need to fix the part where I spend way too many nights sleeping somewhere else. If you’re up for it, I’d like to move in with you,” said Cam.

  The slow smile that curved Mason’s lips was a bit like watching the sun rise, as it lit up his face. “I wasn’t sure you’d ever...” Mason said quietly.

  “I know. I worry about the Navy thing a lot, but I think I need to push my boundaries a little. You’re worth the risk.” Cam pulled Mason into a kiss. It was escalating toward something more intense when Mason’s cell phone rang.

  Mason gave a small growl at the interruption.

  “Flynn... Oh, hey... I guess I could be... God, yeah, okay. I’ll stay by the phone.” When Mason hung up, Cam gave him a questioning look. “That was Peter. One of Division P’s people got injured in Caracas. He’s being airlifted to Pensacola. Peter’s trying to get details on just how bad it is, but I might get sent down there to well... do my thing.”

  “You might get to save another life,” said Cam. He pulled Mason back into the kiss.

  End.

  #1 in the Division P universe

  Braided Lives

  Danny Valentine is Division P’s East Coast/International ‘Fixer’ and general go-to guy. He’s had to come to terms with his bisexuality and his empathic abilities despite his military background. Peter Vithoulkas is Division P’s immensely gifted healer, possessing one of the rarest of Talents. All fire and discipline, Peter is bisexual too, but it doesn’t color his day-to-day reality until he spends some time under fire with Danny. Busy Danny and Peter fall into a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship that neither thinks much about.

  Jennifer Sebastiano is an artist from a conservative family background who works part time as a forensic police artist. She spends a lot of time in crime victim’s heads, seeing what they saw and helping them identify the criminals. It’s Jen who shows Danny and Peter
what they’ve really got between them. Danny and Peter think that Jen should be between them as well, but Jen isn’t sure if she really fits there. As their three lives entwine, can Jen let go of societal and familial expectations? Can Danny and Peter convince Jen that there is a place for her in their unconventional relationship?

  #2 in the Division P Universe

  Hell Dogs Squadron

  Navy F/A-18 pilot Lt. Cameron Bradshaw juggles a second government job in addition to his military commitments. He's a psychic finder for a mysterious agency known as Division P. Just as he starts the next Division P assignment, nearly lethal motorcycle accident nearly takes his life.

  If not for the talents of gifted healer Dr. Mason Flynn, the Lt. might be dead. As the slow process of recovery begins, Mason Flynn is drawn to the injured pilot. A mix of shared psychic talents and physical attraction slowly binds them together, but the people responsible for Cam's accident escalate the affair, and soon Mason is running for his life.

  A mad impromptu flight to Meridian Naval Air Station leads Cam and naval intelligence to a direct confrontation with a group of missile thieves. A vicious firefight leaves Mason scrambling to save teammates, but the final endgame forces Mason to do the unthinkable, and put his own sanity in jeopardy in the process. Can Cameron and Mason survive the trials thrown at them and their burgeoning relationship?

  #4 in the Division P universe

  Falling from a Height

  Navy SEAL and Division P operative Jonas Nightengale is sent to Ft. Detrick, MD to determine who tried to divert a highly secret experimental missile. Sergeant Sarah Quilleran is in charge of security for the weapon and is overseeing the site where the missile landed-"in" the side of a cliff. While trying to use his psychic abilities (the talents that make him a part-time Division P agent) the two nearly fall from the cliff. Jonas saves Sarah's life and still manages to retrieve some information about the instigators of the security breach.

  Sarah Quilleran is on emotional lock-down. She has spent her whole life denying that her psychic abilities are anything more than an occasional really accurate hunch. Her erratic, untrained gift often leaves her with either too much or too little information about the people around her. Things get sticky when the folks who want that weapon decide that they really want it, and are willing to do anything to get it. Will a bullet end the beginnings of Jonas' and Sarah's relationship?

  #5 in the Division P universe

  Zero to 165

  Most of the time life bumps along pretty predictably, viruses and vacations, Christmas and work issues, career and relationship choices. This is certainly true for part time Division P operatives Mason Flynn and Cameron Bradshaw. Mason is a doctor and a healer. Cam is a Navy pilot and a finder. Between building a life together and the stresses of managing both their part time and full time careers, life is pretty full for both guys. But sometimes, life throws a world-altering curve ball. Laws change. The past reaches out into the present and drops a miraculous bomb. Psychic stresses develop. People’s realities alter in unpredictable ways. But Mason and Cam have each other even as their life grows in some very, very unexpected ways.

  #6 in the Division P universe

  Don’t Fret the Timing

  Secret Service agent Vaughn Breckenridge works the Treasury side of his agency. He’s just been told that he’s about to be evaluated for additional training. Sumiko Pierce isn’t at all what he’s expecting. She’s testing for psychic abilities for the mysterious and near mythical Division P. Vaughn knows he’s got an exceptional gut instinct, but he doesn’t want to admit that it might be just a bit more than that. He doesn’t have a clue what is about to hit him.

  Sumiko Pierce is rebuilding her life after a devastating car accident left with her with serious injuries, some long-term, others healing slowly. It’s hard enough to get around and do her job in a wheel-chair--even if it’s only for a while. The last thing she needs is a hard-headed Secret Service agent pushing his way into her life in the same way she’s pushing into his head. On the other hand, Vaughn’s really attractive, inside and out.

  He’s got the abilities. She’s got the abilities and the skills to teach him how to really start using those gifts. They are each going to have to let down their personal barriers in order to make it work. Will they manage it in time to save her life?

  #7 in the Division P universe

  Braided Lives 2: Splicing

  Jennifer Sebastiano likes having control of her life. As a psychic, more control is always better. Her lovers, Danny Valentine and Peter Vthoulkas feel pretty much the same way for similar reasons. But life has a way of turning sideways for everybody, even Division P operatives--maybe especially Division P operatives. When Danny’s mental protections start to fail and Jen runs into a mugger, Peter’s suddenly got his hands full. As their lives get complicated, none of the three likes living four or five hours apart, but Jen isn’t sure she wants to turn her life completely upside down to move nearer the guys either. Why is it always the woman who has to upend her universe when relationships get serious? Now life has dumped a whole lot of trouble into their laps and the three of them have to figure out how to handle it all. These are the sorts of issues that either pull lovers closer together--or split them apart. And it’s pretty much up to Jen to decide which it will be.

  #8 in the Division P universe

  Begin and End with You

  Late one night, while driving home after a shift, Richmond City Detective Brayden Milbourne, finds a man stumbling alongside the road, bloody and confused. Shocking enough to find him; more shocking is that Brayden knows the man. He and Jamie Ketelsen had hooked up during a memorable weekend not long ago.

  Fun then, but now, Jamie is a CIA field agent with a major problem. He can’t remember his name or how he got on that dark road. He doesn’t remember Brayden either. The situation only gets more complicated when it becomes obvious that Division P, the government agency that deals with psychic agents, needs to be involved.

  Can a man who only has the present connect with a man who might have to arrest him for his forgotten and dangerous past?

  #9 in the Division P universe

  The LD50 of Memories

  Navy Pilot Cameron Bradshaw and orthopedic surgeon Mason Flynn are fast working towards solidifying their new family. But life is full of bumps and bruises-- from a sudden lack of diapers for their daughter to Mason's bigoted father passing away. Cam is having scary psychic shock episodes too. After a terrible experience doing a Division P body-finding job, Cam's shields crash hard and he suffers life threatening physical side effects. The solution complicates their lives further. Still, between Jane, their new nanny, and the men reconnecting with an adult sibling apiece, they can see their new family forming around them. Maybe it's time to make it all official?

  #10

  Coming in 2017