by Anne Fraser
She wiggled the whelk under his nose and Logan obediently opened his mouth to accept her offering. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment before swallowing. ‘Not bad. Not great either, but not bad. Now you.’ He held out an oyster. Georgie had been avoiding those particular molluscs.
‘Sorry, don’t do raw shellfish.’ Georgie shook her head. ‘Anyway, aren’t they supposed to be aphrodisiacs?’
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she could have bitten her tongue. Logan smiled slowly. God, he had the sexiest smile. And the way he was looking at her…All of a sudden she felt hot and flustered. It didn’t take a magician to work out what he was thinking.
He reached across the table and cupped her jaw in his hand. She shivered as she felt his fingers on her throat. Heat flooded her body, leaving her breathless.
‘Close your eyes and open your mouth.’ His voice was low, husky, and time stood still. The other diners receded and she and Logan could have been alone. Unable to stop herself, she closed her eyes and parted her lips. He dropped the oyster into her mouth, and she tasted salt, then the sea, then the unusual feel of the icy shellfish on her tongue.
‘Now swallow,’ he instructed. His voice felt as if it was coming from a million miles away. She did as she was told. The oyster left a strange, not unpleasant aftertaste and she opened her eyes.
Logan grinned with delight when she gave a nod of approval and her heart stuttered.
They chatted while they finished their meal, keeping the conversation on neutral ground. When they were offered dessert, Georgie declined regretfully, thinking of the weight she planned to lose. The last thing she wanted was for her fitness to be called into question too. At one time she would have been able to run up Dumgoyne outside Glasgow without stopping. Now she doubted she could walk up it without catching her breath. Time for some serious training.
Logan was tucking enthusiastically into a plate of cheese and oatcakes. Clearly he didn’t have an issue with weight. Every inch of his body was streamlined perfection. A languorous warmth spread through her lower body as she imagined herself pressed against him. Not once since Ian had died had she felt even the slightest attraction for another man, yet here she was almost salivating over this one.
‘Tell me about Ian,’ he said suddenly, as if he could read her mind.
Georgie bit her lip. She didn’t want to think about Ian right now, let alone talk about him. For the past few hours she had felt safe in a bubble where nothing else mattered but being in the moment with this man, and she wanted to stay right where she was, where death and loss and guilt and fear didn’t exist. And she did feel guilt. As if she were being unfaithful to Ian. In her heart, she knew she had taken another step towards a future without him. First putting away her wedding ring and then this date, and although Logan wasn’t offering her a future with him, she was in no doubt that he wanted her. But for how long? Days? Weeks? Months?
Across the table Logan was watching her intently. ‘You don’t have to tell me,’ he said gently. ‘Just tell me it’s none of my business.’ His eyes were warm as he looked at her. ‘We can talk about something else.’
Outside, the day had darkened and spots of rain tapped against the window. The waiter came across and lit a candle.
No, Georgie wasn’t ready to talk about Ian. Not here. Not now. She preferred to remain cocooned, forgetting about the past and not thinking about the future. Why couldn’t he pretend with her that nothing else existed except the two of them and the here and now?
‘The weather is getting worse,’ she said.
He followed her gaze to the window. A splatter of rain suddenly hurled itself against the glass.
‘If we’re going, we should go now.’
If. He had said if. The atmosphere between them intensified. It was electric, sizzling with possibilities.
‘We could stay and go back tomorrow…’ Logan said, his eyes drilling into hers.
There was a tightness in her chest and she was having difficulty breathing normally.
‘What about Jess?’ she whispered.
‘Phone home.’
Two simple words and her world stood still. She didn’t even pretend not to understand what he was suggesting.
Logan reached across the table and touched her cheek. Her skin felt as if a thousand tiny sparks were flitting across it. Georgie knew she couldn’t leave. And she didn’t want to.
Unable to speak, she nodded.
Logan stood, his eyes darkening. ‘You phone,’ he said. ‘I’ll see if they have a room.’
Her heart racing, Georgie rang home. Her mother answered and after discovering that Jess was in bed already, Georgie asked if she would mind looking after her until the next day.
There was a silence at the other end of the phone.
‘Do you know what you’re doing, love?’ her mother asked quietly. ‘I know I said it’s about time you got on with your life, but I didn’t mean to jump in feet first.’
‘Not really, Mum. But I’m going to anyway.’
‘Jess will be fine with me,’ her mother said at last. ‘You take care.’
Logan returned to her side.
‘They have a room. Overlooking the sea.’ Once more his dark eyes stared into hers. ‘You can still change your mind.’
Wordlessly, Georgie shook her head. Logan took her hand and together they made their way out of the hotel.
‘They’ve given us a room in the boathouse, looking out over the beach.’ Logan explained. ‘It’s separate from the hotel, but has the best view.’
Somehow Georgie didn’t think they’d be worrying about the view.
As the rain began to fall in earnest they ran the few yards to the boathouse.
Logan opened the door and pulled her into his arms, kicking the door closed behind him.
Georgie was shivering, though whether from the cold or fear she couldn’t be sure. But then his mouth was on hers.
The kiss was just how she’d imagined it would be. Firm yet soft. Demanding yet gentle. Heat flooded her body as she moulded herself to him, feeling the hard muscles of his chest and thighs pressing against her body.
He dropped his hands to her hips and tugged her even closer. She kissed him hungrily and the outside world disappeared.
But when he moved to undo the ties of her dress, she stiffened. Involuntarily, she halted his hands, placing hers on top of his.
He became still. ‘Georgie?’ His eyes glinted down at her. ‘You’re not sure? It’s okay. We don’t have to.’
She shook her head and pressed a finger against his mouth. ‘Could we put the lights out?’
He looked bewildered. ‘If you like. But why? I want to look at you. Every scrap of you.’
‘Baby weight,’ Georgie muttered, feeling ridiculous.
He threw back his head and laughed. ‘But don’t you know how gorgeous you are? I love your curves. Your sexy, womanly curves.’ He dropped kisses on her shoulder as he slid the dress from her shoulders.
Slowly. Ever so slowly, his eyes not leaving hers, he undid the ties of her dress, and she let it slide to the floor.
She shivered again as he dropped a kiss on the swell of each breast.
Then he slid the straps of her bra down her shoulders and unhooked it. As her breasts sprang free she resisted the impulse to cover herself with her arms, feeling shy again. She had never made love to anyone apart from Ian and no other man—bar her doctor—had ever seen her naked. What if she didn’t know how to please him? What if he was put off by her post-baby figure?
He sat down on the bed and pulled her closer so she was standing between his legs. Then he peeled off his T-shirt, revealing a tanned, muscular chest. Every muscle was clearly perfectly defined, his upper arms evidence of a man whose body was used to daily hard physical activity.
Finally he eased her satin slip over her hips. It slithered onto the floor. Now she was standing before him naked except for her panties. Any reservations she’d had melted away when she saw the look in his eyes
and knew he found her beautiful.
His thumbs followed a lazy path over her hip bones and his lips traced a path along her abdomen until eventually they found her breasts. He took each nipple in his mouth in turn, teasing with his tongue until Georgie moaned with the pleasure of it.
‘You take my breath away, Georgie McArthur,’ he said against her skin, and she knew it would be all right.
As if unable to stop himself, he gathered her onto his lap and, falling backwards on the bed, rolled her beneath him, raining kisses on her face and body. She ached to be closer to him. She fumbled at the button of his jeans but her fingers couldn’t get a grip because she could not stop herself from pressing against him. Reluctantly, it seemed, he tore himself away from her and slipped a hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out a condom.
She drank him in, admiring the long, lean length of his legs as he yanked off his jeans and boxers. Seconds later, he was beside her again. His legs were long with powerful thighs, his desire for her evident.
Teasingly, he brushed his hands up the inner part of her thigh until every nerve ending was on fire. Then at last, almost when she couldn’t bear it any longer, he hooked his fingers under the lace at the top of her panties and eased them down.
Georgie closed her eyes. She heard him groan as he lifted himself off her again for a few agonising seconds. When she heard the wrapper rip, she knew he was protecting them both.
Then his hands were all over her again and she responded, revelling in the hardness of him under her fingertips, his male scent. Just when she thought she could bear it no more, that she would explode with her need for him, he parted her legs and was inside her.
Much later they lay in each other’s arms, sated. The rain lashed outside, but lying in the circle of Logan’s arms Georgie felt safe and at peace. She trailed her fingertips across his chest and down towards his abdomen to where the dark hair was thicker. Propping herself on her elbow, she followed the touch of her hands with small kisses, ever downwards.
He moaned and wrapped his hand in her hair. Then once more they lost themselves in each other.
Later still, as they lay listening to the rain in a tangle of sheets, Georgie started to talk.
‘It happened three years ago,’ she began. Suddenly she was back in that dreadful, horrific night.
Logan stroked her hair, waiting for her to continue.
‘Ian, Jess’s father, my husband…’ she swallowed hard ‘…was a member of the mountain rescue team based in Fort William. We both were. That’s how we met.’ She smiled, remembering Ian’s cheeky grin and how he’d refused to take no for an answer when he’d asked her out. ‘We both loved the mountains. Both of us had spent most of our lives climbing and there was nothing either of us loved more. We often went on rescues together, kind of watching each other’s backs, you know. Kirk didn’t really like it that we were both on the team. He thought it might cause one of us to make a bad decision to protect the other.’
‘Go on,’ he said gently.
Georgie wrapped herself in the sheet and perched on the end of the bed.
‘Ian just laughed. He told Kirk that it was more likely I would have to rescue him than the other way round. He said I was like a cat on the mountains.’ A familiar stab of loss jarred her heart, but as he tugged her gently back down beside him and cradled her in his arms, the telling became easier.
‘We were together for a few years before we got married—we were busy with our careers. He was a doctor at the hospital at Fort William where I worked as a nurse and we continued to climb and go out with the mountain rescue team. We had some scary moments but we always managed, with the rest of the team, to come through. There was something very fulfilling about helping people who shared our love of the mountains. But we didn’t—couldn’t—always save everyone. People always underestimate the mountains in Scotland. There is at least one death every winter, sometimes more. And sometimes in the summer too. The days can seem so benign that climbers and walkers don’t recognise the danger. Of course, we understood the risks involved in the rescues, but we had confidence in our ability and each other. And loving the mountains as we did, we could never blame folk for wanting to be out there. I guess it must be like that for people in the army too.’
A shadow crossed Logan’s face. ‘I know what you’re saying,’ he said heavily. ‘Most join the army because they love the life. They know they put their lives in danger everyday when they are in a war zone and they do it without hesitation to help their fellow soldiers. The bravery and courage of these men is humbling. But there are some who don’t really appreciate the danger until they are out there. The reality of shooting at live targets and being shot at. And even when they do, they stay because they feel it is their duty. Then there are the NHS volunteers, ordinary men and women who put their lives on hold for months so that they can be there to help wherever they are needed. I have met some of the bravest men and women I know in the army.’ The desolate look in his eyes was back. Georgie wanted to banish it, the same way he had banished her loneliness.
‘It must make my fear seem very trivial,’ Georgie said feeling a little ashamed.
‘As I said earlier, the really brave people are those who feel fear yet face it anyway. Those who never feel fear are a rare breed—or crazy.’ He touched her arm, letting his long fingers trail down to her hand. Her skin burned where he touched her. She smiled at him.
‘Like you? I can’t imagine you being scared of anything.’
Logan grinned. ‘Believe me, there are situations that frighten the hell out of me. But we were talking about you.’
‘Jess came along after we’d been married for a couple of years. Obviously when I was heavily pregnant I had to stop climbing, let alone going out on rescues. In fact, Kirk and Ian stopped me going out on rescues as soon as they knew I was pregnant.’ She shook her head, remembering well how cross she had been at first, until she’d realised that they were right. The more the other members of the team worried about her, the more she’d be putting everyone’s life at risk.
‘Then, of course, having a small baby made it equally impossible. And strangely enough the first time I climbed after Jess’s birth, I began to feel nervous. I think it must be something to do with being a mother. It’s as if you know your child needs you alive or something.’
Logan pulled her down beside him and turned on his side. There faces were barely inches apart and she could feel his warm breath on her skin. He looked at her intently. It was as if he knew she was coming to the hard part.
‘One winter, just before Jess’s first Christmas, the team got a call. Two ice climbers hadn’t returned from their climb. It was dark and there was a weather front moving in. They had been advised against the climb by locals earlier in the day, but they didn’t listen.’ Her eyes closed as the memory of that day rushed back in excruciating detail.
‘To cut a long story short, Ian went out with the team. Kirk was leading, of course. Although the weather had worsened they thought they would have enough time to get to the ice waterfall where the men were climbing.’ Georgie sucked in a painful breath.
‘But the weather turned to blizzard conditions much sooner than anyone expected. Ian lost his footing, no one knows how, and went over the side. Kirk and the rest of the team tried to reach him, but no matter how they tried they couldn’t even see him. The weather was too bad for the RAF to help. There was nothing else for it but to wait until daybreak to try again.’ Georgie’s throat felt as if it was being sliced with razor blades. She remembered every minute of that long night. The slow ticking of the clock. Wondering if Ian was injured, alive even and slowly freezing to death. Kirk had refused to leave the mountain, saying he couldn’t leave Ian alone, and she and her mother had worried about him too. That night Georgie hadn’t known whether she was going to lose a husband and a brother.
‘The waiting was the worst part. As soon as it was light, the team went out again, and the weather had cleared sufficiently for the RAF to send a heli
copter. They wouldn’t take me, so I made someone I knew take me out in their light plane. I think I swore and screamed. Anything to make him take me.’ She paused, taking a moment to moisten her lips.
‘As soon as I could, I was on the plane, searching along with everyone else. Hoping to catch a glimpse of his red jacket in the snow. But a couple of inches had fallen overnight and if Ian was out there, we just couldn’t find him.’ This time she couldn’t help the tears from falling as she remembered those desperate hours, knowing that every minute that passed made the possibility of finding him alive more remote.
Logan watched her steadily, not saying anything. Only the pressure of his fingers on the small of her back told her he was aware of her pain.
‘We found him eventually. Two days later. Dead. The only consolation was finding out his neck was broken. He must have died instantly, so even if we’d got to him straight away, it wouldn’t have made any difference.’ She laughed bitterly. ‘Some consolation, huh? My daughter would never know her father. And as for the climbers he had set out to rescue, they were found alive and well, having taken shelter in a bothy. Oh, I don’t blame them, I don’t blame anyone. I was mad with grief and mad with the world at first, but Mum made me realise I owed it to Jess to pull myself together so that’s what I did. I guess my fear of small planes is rooted in the fear I felt as we looked for him. It just became associated with small aircraft, the way these things do.’
He hugged her closer. ‘I am so sorry, Georgie. That must have been hard.’
She managed a smile. ‘The toughest couple of years of my life. I still miss him. I miss him when Jess is sick, or when she does something new. I find myself thinking, I wonder what Ian will think? Then it hits me all over again. But it is getting easier. People tell you when it first happens that time will heal and you can’t believe them, but it does. I find myself remembering the good times and smiling. I’ll never forget him, but it’s time to move on. In many ways the new service we’ve been setting up has been a godsend. It’s given me something to look forward to.’ A ring of ice circled her heart as she said the words. What if Logan took her off the team? What if he decided her fear was too much of a risk?