True North

by Allie Juliette Mousseau

  Jules burst back through the door, almost giving me a heart attack, and locked it fast. I jumped out of her seat.

  Someone pounded a fist against the wood. “What the fuck is the matter with you? It was just a question!” Jake’s voice demanded.

  At that sound of him so close after so long my heartbeat slammed in my chest without mercy.

  “I have … friends in here getting changed and ready for the party. You can’t come in!” she protested.

  “All the more reason to let myself in. I’ve picked the lock before, little sis,” he challenged.

  “I’ll never answer your question if you do!” Jules countered.

  I held my breath.

  Jake took a second and conceded. “Fine. But you owe me.”

  We listened to his footsteps go back down the hallway.

  “What the fuck?” I hissed quietly.

  “He wanted to know if you were coming.”

  Fuck the smile that was forcing its way onto my face.

  “He also wanted to know if you were bringing a date.”

  Smile gone. “Why?” I sat on the bed. Was he hoping I’d be alone or just trying to make sure I’d moved on?

  “I don’t know, I just ran in here. I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to tell him,” she confessed. “I asked him why it mattered, but he wouldn’t say.” She sat down next to me. “He came alone, but just now in Mom’s bathroom I heard him talking on his cell, asking someone what time they’d be here. I snuck in as close as possible but I didn’t hear who it was.”

  “Really, this is totally crazy. It’s his homecoming party. None of this really matters.” I could convince myself. I had to. “He’s alive. He survived several tours in Afghanistan. Nothing else matters except that you got your brother back.”

  “I’m not so sure I did,” she answered somberly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “He’s ripped with muscles and looks so strong and foreboding. He was tough before he left but this is a whole new level. He has this constant expression on his face … I can’t think of any other words for it except he looks … dangerous and angry. He has this dark, faraway look in his eyes, like he’s not even here when he talks to you. All that put together and it feels kind of scary, like I don’t even know him.” She looked down at her mom’s shoes in her lap. Her expression made me worry for her—and for him. “He’s lost his sweetness.”

  I bit my lip. Jake was rough, always had been, but he’d also always been polite and, more importantly, sweet and kind to the people he cared about the most. What she said, I expected, was true. He’d seen things we could never imagine. But did that mean the real Jake and the new Jake were two totally different people?

  “Come on. The party starts in less than an hour. He’ll be okay. He just came home from a war zone, so it’ll just take time for him to readjust.” Right? Sounded good.

  She perked up and put her happy face back on. “What shoes did you bring?”

  Uh oh. “My Chucks and Koolaburras.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” she said scornfully.

  “I don’t wear the same size shoe as you, and I don’t own any heels. I’ll just wear the boots or my bare feet depending on how cold it gets tonight.” It was an Indian summer and we were enjoying seventy degree nights. From the daggers Jules was throwing at me with her eyes I could tell she didn’t like that answer at all. She was a definite girlie-girl where I was not. I decided to divert. “Those shoes you stole are S.E.X.Y. Nate won’t know what hit him.” That earned a genuine smile.

  Poor us.

  Chapter Three

  “All Around Me”

  Flyleaf

  “Let’s go scope it out,” Jules suggested.

  Everything up to now had been a cake walk compared to what I felt when Jules announced we would actually have to physically exit the room. Dread and excitement went head-to-head for the MMA title in my gut.

  I could keep it together. Right?

  We quietly went down the stairs, listening like we were Special Forces. By the time we made it downstairs and peered into the kitchen all stealth-like we found lots of women—mostly moms and girlfriends—getting the food platters to bring out to the outside buffet table set up on the deck.

  “So everyone’s outside,” I observed.

  She offered a tight smile. “Are you ready?”

  “Fuck no!” We both started laughing.

  “Right, then.” With a swish of her hips she was off through the kitchen. That would’ve been fine except she grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me behind her. I was going to need a very strong drink.

  Out the sliding glass doors we went, into the blind oblivion of my hellish fate.

  Oh God, don’t look for him!

  “Julia North and Olivia Morrisey!” Nothing like having your own personal announcer to tighten your lungs and set your hair on end.

  “Mrs. Johnson, it’s so nice to see you,” Jules said covering for us gracefully.

  “You two girls are positively grown up!” Mrs. Johnson cooed.

  I really had to get out of here. I was willing the ground below me to open and swallow me up.

  “When you see your hero brother please tell him I said thanks for his service and welcome home,” she said.

  “Didn’t you see him?” Jules asked.

  “I got here about an hour ago and was told he went to the store. He’s not back yet. I’m just a little too old for this loud music and atmosphere, but you all have a wonderful time.” She hugged each of us and was on her way.

  He’s not here. Somehow my prize match contenders were replaced by crushed dust. My mouth went utterly dry. He wasn’t going to the store; he was picking up whoever he’d called.

  “I need a drink now.” I was shaking, and I hated the rush of adrenaline that had no way to be released. I made a beeline with Jules in tow, straight to the bar. Drew and Brian, a couple of Julia’s cousins, were manning it.

  “I don’t think you girls are old enough to drink,” Drew jeered.

  “I don’t think you’re old enough to play bartender.” I leaned in. “Does your mommy know?”

  “I’m just razzing you, Liv, you know that,” he answered.

  “Good. Razz my cup with rum and diet coke.” Yes it was my favorite, and every time I tasted it I tasted Jake. Fuck! Another rush of adrenaline.

  “Holy shit, did you see Jake’s new tats?!” Brian asked. “His arms are covered.”

  I dumped the contents of the cup into my mouth and down my throat and then slammed the bottom of the cup on the table. Drew and Brian’s eyebrows lifted up onto their foreheads.

  “You call that a drink? Sugar water. Now give me a frigging drink,” I demanded. I was going to explode if someone said his name one more time! Someone put The Fray on, and my insides twisted to knots. Drew dropped ice in my cup then filled it half full with rum and poured diet coke on top of it.

  I took a sip. “Much better, thanks.”

  Jules took her drink and we walked away from the table.

  “There’s Nathaniel.” She pointed over to the other side of the stacked bonfire wood where Nate was standing next to a tall blonde.

  My brother had been having an off-and-on with the blonde, whose dad lived in Dickinson. She was only here during the summer when she was visiting him and was usually back home in Spokane this time of year. He wasn’t serious about her, that I knew, but I couldn’t convince Jules—who now stood next to me like a little kid whose candy had been snatched by a bully.

  “Let’s go make her jealous,” I recommended. “You look totally hot, and she can’t hold a candle to you.”

  We walked over with our heads held high. I didn’t know if J caught it, but all the guys from our town (and some guys I’d never seen before) all watched us as we walked by. Oh yeah, we owned this place!

  “Hey ya, Nate!” I said, nice and loud.

  “Little sis!” he roared, picking me up into a big bear hug. “I didn’t know you got in yet.”


  “You didn’t think I was going to miss the party of the century did you?”

  “Why didn’t you text?”

  “I don’t know, just wanted to spend some one-on-one time with my girl here.”

  All of his attention turned to Julia, who stood like a deer in headlights, attempting to appear confident.

  “Jules.” Nate looked rather dumbstruck, and I wondered if Jules noticed. “You look … incredible.”

  Nate’s date stiffened behind him. Ha!

  “Thanks,” Jules said, biting her bottom lip like she always did when she was nervous.

  “You look good to, bro,” I said, rescuing her. He did too. He was in a pair of jeans and clean work boots with a white t-shirt under a maroon button up. His messy-on-purpose black hair accentuated his green eyes. We looked a lot alike—like our mom.

  Jules was still staring at him, awestruck. Yeah, she was just as lost as I was. How ironic—head over heels for each other’s brothers.

  “Save me a dance for later on, deal?” Nate reached out his hand to shake hers as if this was some type of business transaction. Idiot!

  She managed to grasp his hand. “Okay.”

  “You still like Colbie Caillat, right?” he asked—as if he didn’t know her favorite singer.

  She nodded, and her face flushed pink. Nate still hadn’t let go of her hand, and he smiled in a way I’d never seen before. It made me wonder if Jules had a chance after all.

  “Nate, come meet my cousin Alex.” His date grabbed at his arm, and he genuinely looked disappointed to let go of Jules’ hand.

  “See ya later,” he threw out nonchalantly as the two walked away.

  “OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD!” Jules squeaked once they were out of earshot. “I think I’m going to pass out!”

  “No you’re not, you rocked it.”

  “I didn’t rock it,” she argued, creasing her brow.

  “Oh yeah you did.” I smiled reassuringly and then teasingly added, “Huh? Who’s got a dance? Jules has got a dance.”

  “Shut up! You’ll make me freak out!” She slapped my arm.

  “The worst is over, right?”

  A cheer went up and didn’t stop. I didn’t move. Let me rephrase … I couldn’t move. He was behind me and I knew it. I felt him; I felt his eyes and his presence as if he were some sort of god. Flyleaf’s “All Around Me” swirled inside my head and cut out all outside music so it was all I heard. Jake was all around me, and my entire body was lit with electricity. Heat rushed up into my face. It was funny—I couldn’t even hear the people all around me anymore. I was alone with him. I mustered all my courage and turned around.

  He was being attacked by a mob of guests. Every man wanted to shake his hand—every woman wanted to hug him. I could tell right away that Jules was right in her assessment of him. His presence commanded attention, and he exuded authority and danger. His muscles rippled under his black, button up dress shirt and bulged at the shoulders and biceps, pulling the fabric taut. His military buzz cut was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, and I wanted to reach my hands around his neck to feel those soft hairs.

  That night four years ago came crashing at me through the stratosphere like a colossal meteorite, threatening to obliterate my entire world. All I could remember was the kiss in the moonlight and the feel of the pendant, cool against my fingertips.

  Then his eyes met mine, and there was no escape from his penetrating gaze. I felt my mouth fall open just a bit as the evening air passed through my lips.

  Could he really set me on fire from so far away?

  The answer was yes.

  People were still talking to him, but his entire attention was focused only on me. In my mind I’d played this moment out a thousand million times. He would see me and know my outfit was only for him. Blue was his favorite color, and of course yellow meant, Welcome home, I’ve been waiting for you. He’d pass everyone else in a stupor of blind passion and reach out to me, lifting me off the ground and claiming me for all to see. He’d kiss me and never stop. But just as I felt my foot take that first fated step towards him, the entire former cheerleading squad from the high school came racing up to him, grabbing him in what was probably the biggest tit sandwich ever.

  My eyes found the deck beneath my shoes and I willed my eyes not to sting.

  Well, that didn’t go exactly like I’d seen it in my head. Ah, my savior—sarcastic humor.

  Come on, Olivia, don’t be an ass. Have a spine. One foot in front of the other is all it takes.

  “Jake North! What a sight for sore eyes you are.” Jessica’s voice wafted through the air as she pressed herself through the crowd to reach him. “Welcome home, hero.” She said, all sultry and sexy sounding.

  God I hated her!

  “Hey, Jess, good to see you too.” He hugged her for a moment then firmly set her aside.

  “LIVIE!” His deep voice shot through the noise and sent with it a shockwave that spread from my ears through to my heart and down to my toes, until I was literally consumed with it.

  “Jake.” I think I said it out loud.

  He stretched out his arms and pulled me to him in an embrace that left me breathless and my body on fire. Just like in my imagination.

  He set me back down and held me at arm’s length. I crashed ever too quickly back to earth. “Damn, you look incredible.”

  I smiled cockily. Please don’t see me trembling. “You look …”—Good enough to eat. Play it safe—“incredible too.” SO LAME! How did he do this to me? Fuckyou, fuckyou, fuckyou. Just sing the song.

  “I was thinking I might see you here.” His eyes grazed my body, from my hair, across my collarbone, to my shirt. I felt his eyes trace my ribs and waist. Everywhere his eyes landed, that part of my body was scorched with a pulsing heat.

  “And here I am.” I was losing it. “I couldn’t miss your homecoming.” Like you did my prom and graduation. I smiled. Academy award time. “You’re the town hero, you know.”

  He scowled for a fleeting second. “So I’ve been told.”

  “You did earn some serious military decorations.”

  “How did you—? I guess news travels fast.”

  Jake’s Aunt Brenda came up to us with a plastic smile plastered on her lips. “Jake, do you know how many people are waiting for you? Including the mayor.” She turned her attention to me. “Excuse us, Olivia.”

  “Of course,” I said sweetly. Wow! I was good at acting, maybe I should have been majoring in drama instead of art and autistic studies.

  The next two hours passed pretty quickly. People ate and drank and talked. Everyone congratulated Jake on his safe return home and thanked him for protecting his country. Every time I looked over I saw that Jessica made sure she kept herself within a twenty foot radius of him at all times, like a hovering satellite. Jules and I had hijacked a bottle of rum and were trading shots from a fallen log on the other side of the soon-to-be hella huge bonfire. The wood was piled at least twenty feet high.

  “We’re fucking pathetic sometimes,” she said.

  “No we’re not. They are,” I decided.

  A minute later Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff” came screaming through the night. It was official—it was now a party.

  People started head banging and moshing by the pile of kindling. Others lugged extra coolers from their cars, and two kegs were tapped. Both Jules and I rolled our eyes as the former cheer squad tossed their t-shirts to the deck to reveal their little high school cheer tops.

  “Grow the fuck up,” Jules shouted. It was lost in the music but not to me.

  Josh and Sam North walked by with a gas can. They were dousing the wood.

  “You’re a freaking fireman!” I playfully accused Josh.

  Sam laughed. He might have been the most outwardly wild of the North boys. He was colorfully tattooed all over his arms, chest and back. His hair was dark brown, and he had to constantly sweep it out of his eyes. He drove a Charger, played rock grunge guitar in Seattle, where he was goin
g to school for engineering, boasted a lip ring, and was wicked hot! At twenty-one, he and his twin brother Will were closest to my age. Sam was total fun, without a serious bone in his body. He was a great friend to everybody, unless you crossed him or someone he cared about.

  “Yeah ‘fire’ man!” Sam said, pushing Josh forward.

  “Watch it, little brother.” Josh emphasized the word “little.” Josh lost the title of oldest North boy by two years. Did I mention all of them were hot? Yeah, I know. What a curse, right!? “You girls might want to move away,” he instructed.

  “‘Cause we’re gonna light this mutha up!” Sam jumped in place, from excitement or the music or both. “Riot” by Three Days Grace started a lot of people jumping.

  Jules and I moved a safe distance away and watched, mesmerized, as Josh threw the match. Sam was a riot while his twin brother, Will, was his complete opposite—he was clean cut and hated getting his hands dirty. Will was studying business in Seattle so that he could work with Caleb, the oldest North brother. Caleb was the most responsible brother and, when it came to the family business, he was all hands-on and took over where their dad had left off. During high school, Nate had started working for the North business too. In fact, he’d opted out of college to train full-time under Caleb, and he’d been doing really well for himself there.

  The wood caught fast and everybody screamed ecstatically. At that very moment I decided to seek out Jake and found Jessica wrapped around him, laying a kiss on his cheek. Why did I even bother? Whatever.

  “We are not going to do this to ourselves!” I declared.

  “We’re not?” Jules asked.

  “Nope, we’re going to go dance and make every guy at this place fall madly in love with us.”

  Her lips curled up a little. “Sounds brilliant.”

  It’s time for a classic.

  Chapter Four

  “Magic Carpet Ride”

  Steppenwolf