Abel 2: Hearts in Chaos

by CJ Bishop

  Fuck. Why hadn't he just undressed before going to bed? He hadn't planned on letting Cole or Gabe see these clothes. The others that Kaplan had bought him, he'd left in the limo—he didn't want them in his apartment. He didn't want them at all.

  Abel jerked his arm loose, brow tightening. “What the fuck difference does it make?” he snapped and shrugged off the jacket, throwing it on the floor. “I don't fucking want them.” His hands began to shake as he hurriedly unraveled the maroon silk tie and unbuttoned the shirt then nearly tore it off, dropping it down with his jacket. “I don't want any of it!”

  “Abel!” Cole grabbed his bare arm. “What's wrong with you?”

  “Leave me alone!” he cried and quickly unfastened the pants then kicked them off and shoved down the briefs Kaplan had supplied for him as well.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Cole stared at him, brow pinched with confusion and concern.

  “I don't want any of it!” Abel choked and grabbed up the clothes then rushed bare-assed into the kitchen and stuffed them in the trash, smashing them down, tears streaming. “I don't fucking...want it!”

  He started to sink to the floor when Cole caught him and dragged him into his arms, holding him tight. “Abel, what the hell is going on, baby?” he whispered tight. “Tell me what's wrong? What happened this weekend?”

  Abel clutched his shirt, face shoved into his throat, aching to tell him, to have just one person to be completely honest with. But he couldn't. If Cole knew...he wouldn't let it go on. And Kaplan was his only option. Abel pulled out of Cole's arms and shook his head, wiping his eyes. “I have to go see Savannah.” he choked quietly and walked back to the bedroom.

  “Abel.” Cole followed, face tight as he watched Abel grab clean clothes from the bureau—his own clothes—and dress quickly. “Just talk to me.”

  “I can't.” Abel whispered and went to the night stand by the bed and opened the small drawer. Last night he remembered tucking the bank card and small envelope into his wallet, then putting the wallet in the back of the drawer just before he crashed on the bed.

  Wallet in hand, he grabbed his cell phone and brushed past Cole, leaving the bedroom. When he called a cab, Cole frowned, “What're you doing? I can take you.”

  “No.” Abel murmured. “I want to go alone.” That wasn't true, and it hurt to push Cole away, but he couldn't take all the questions right now. “I have to go.” He walked out—when what he really wanted was to throw himself in Cole's arms and hide away from the world.

  Chapter Thirteen

  An Ample Sum

  Devlin made a point of being back at the hospital bright and early, though his morning return had afforded him very few sleep hours, not that he had really slept. But sleep was the least of his worries these days.

  “Dr. Grant?” the nurse called him over as he passed the station. “Dr. Richards asked if you could check the results of Mr. Thomas' blood tests.” She handed him a chart.

  He smiled—“Of course.”—and turned around in time to bump into a young man in a dark blue hoodie, the hood pulled over his head, hands stuffed in his jeans' pockets. “Oh excuse me.” Devlin started when the kid picked up his pace, walking more quickly towards the elevator. He frowned and watched the young man punch the up button on the elevator panel, then glance quickly at Devlin.

  Abel. Devlin moved in his direction. “Abel.” The elevator doors slid open and the kid stepped inside. Devlin broke into a sprint and thrust the chart between the closing doors before they connected and slipped into the elevator. Two other people were in there, a man and a woman, who smiled politely at Devlin. Abel crept back to the corner, half shielded by the couple's bodies. Devlin waited, willing the two people to get off the elevator before they reached Savannah's floor.

  When they exited two floors below, Devlin thanked his lucky stars and quickly blocked Abel's path when he tried to exit with them, no doubt to take the stairs the rest of the way up. Only when the doors closed again did he turn and face the boy. Abel sucked back against the metal hand rail, head ducked.

  The image of the boy from last night, sitting at Savannah's beside, swelled up in his mind; Abel blaming himself for things Devlin didn't begin to understand, apologizing for not being the brother Savannah thought he was—none of it made sense. Devlin hit the button that stopped the elevator half way between floors. When the car jolted to a stop, Abel's head jerked up. “What're you doing?”

  “If I have to hijack an elevator to talk to you, then so be it.” Devlin said.

  “There's nothing to talk about.” Abel said tightly, though carefully avoided Devlin's eyes. “I told you—I didn't want to see you anymore.”

  “I'm aware of what you said.” Devlin stared at him. “Well aware—since it ripped out my heart.”

  Abel shook his head, staring at the floor. “Don't do this.” he whispered.

  “Don't do what, Abel?” Devlin stepped towards him. “Give a damn about you? Want a few answers as to why one second we're making love and all up in each other's hearts—and the next you're running from me like I'm the fucking plague or something?” He raked a hand through his hair. “I'm sorry, but I can't shift gears that fast. I deserve an explanation.”

  Abel's hands pulled from his pockets and he hugged himself. “I asked you...to trust me on this.” he whispered thickly.

  Moving in closer, Devlin trapped the boy in the corner, gripping the hand rails on either side of him, locking him in. “I'm sorry, Abel.” he murmured and leaned closer, his face near Abel's. “I can't do that...I can't just take your word for it, not on something like this. It's too...important.” And last night had only confirmed Devlin's belief that Abel didn't really want him out of his life—but for whatever reason, believed he had to push him out.

  Abel turned his face away as Devlin raised one hand and peeled off the hood of his sweatshirt—then ran his fingers through his hair. “Please don't...” Abel trembled, eyes closed.

  “I have to.” Devlin told him softly and let his fingertips glide down over the boy's smooth cheek, so warm to the touch. “I won't just walk away from this...from you.” His thumb slid over Abel's lower lip, velvet soft and sweet as honey as he recalled. Against his better judgment, Devlin took a chance and stole a light kiss, aching to feel Abel kiss him back with passion as he'd done before.

  I love you. The words trembled on his lips...then took flight on audible wings before he could cage them again.

  * * * *

  Abel trembled, eyes closed, heart beating a jagged hole in his chest as Devlin's warm mouth lingered against his lips, the man's words—“I love you”—floating, as in limbo, on the air—which suddenly seemed too thick to breathe.

  Don't say that! It isn't fair! Tears pooled behind Abel's eyelids and he squeezed tighter to keep them in. “No...you don't.” he shuddered quietly, though he knew the man spoke true.

  “I do.” Devlin caressed his lips over the corner of Abel's mouth, then his cheek. “I love you, Abel. I started falling for you the moment I saw you.”

  Abel shook his head, throat aching as a lump swelled up thick. “I'm not...someone you can love.”

  “I already do.” Devlin whispered and brought his mouth back to Abel's lips and kissed him again, “I already do, baby.”

  Stop saying that...please...Abel couldn't stop himself from returning Devlin's kiss—not when his entire being longed for the man in ways he hadn't known possible. He clutched the hand rails, unwilling to take hold of Devlin though, knowing if he did...he might never let go again.

  Devlin's hands cupped his face and their kiss deepened, the man's tongue tentatively exploring his mouth. Abel moaned, squeezing the rails hard until his knuckles ached, fighting the need to touch the man, hold him, let his very presence eradicate all memories of Kaplan. But thoughts of Kaplan brought up images of Craig as well—and reality crashed back on him with enough force to jolt him physically. He broke out of the kiss suddenly and shoved past Devlin, hitting the button on the panel, causing the
elevator to jerk and start moving again.

  Before Devlin could react, the doors were opening. “You only love...who you think I am,” Abel choked then rushed out, walking hurriedly towards Savannah's room. When he cast a quick glance behind him, the corridor was empty and the elevator doors were closing.

  Abel leaned against the wall outside Savannah's room and sucked in deep breaths to quell the tears and calm his pounding heart, but even as he put up the fight, the tears were running free, rolling down his cheeks and dripping off his chin, seeping into the fabric of his sweatshirt.

  Fuck! His fist clenched and cocked, ready to punch the wall, when a couple of nurses appeared in the hall. He rubbed his face on the sleeve of his sweatshirt and slipped inside his sister's room.

  When Savannah questioned him about his tears, he gave her a lame excuse she clearly didn't buy, but she didn't push him for the truth. “Where did you go this weekend?” she asked quietly, her large eyes studying him. “What did you have to take care of?”

  Why did everyone keep asking him questions he couldn't answer? “Savannah—” his words cut short when the door opened and Dr. Jacobs entered—along with Devlin. The man gazed at him intently, a determination in his midnight eyes despite Abel's consistent rejection of him.

  What rejection? Every time the man touches you—you succumb and melt in his hands. Man, your actions are speaking so loud—he ain't hearing a word you say.

  * * * *

  The boy didn't flinch when Jacobs told him he needed to speak with the hospital's financial liaison about setting up some form of payment method for Savannah's hospital stay.

  I have the money…I can take care of you. Abel's words to Savannah last night. What money?

  As the silent question rolled around his mind, the young man nodded.

  “There are medical plans.” Jacobs told the boy. “I'm sure you would have no problem getting her set up with one of them.”

  Abel shook his head. “It's okay.” he murmured. “I can pay.”

  “That's a lot of money.” Jacobs frowned, uncertain. “And then along with the cost of Savannah's treatment...it's going to be very expensive.”

  Abel carefully avoided Devlin's gaze. “I know.”

  Worry squeezed Savannah's brow. “Abel...”

  “I'll take care of it.” he told her. “Don't worry.” The girl nodded and went silent, but the uncertainty in her eyes remained.

  Devlin moved back when the door opened and a woman in her late thirties entered. “This is Ms. Eckhart.” Jacobs told Abel. “She'll help you set up payment.”

  The woman smiled at Abel and drew him aside. “We can discuss a payment plan—”

  “I don't need a payment plan.” Abel said quietly and took out his wallet. Devlin watched in mild shock as the boy plucked out a bank card and handed it to the liaison. “This will cover it.”

  Eckhart took the card hesitantly. “Are you sure? Savannah's treatment here—”

  “As long as it isn't more than twenty thousand dollars,” Abel spoke low, as if not wishing for Savannah to hear. “Then there's enough.”

  Twenty thousand dollars? Devlin couldn't hide the shock on his face as Abel glanced at him quickly then looked away as what he could only describe as shame flicked behind the boy's golden eyes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sinful Confessions

  “Max is anticipating a large crowd this weekend.”

  Abel twisted around on the bar stool and leaned back on his elbows on the bar, eyeing a customer who had been lusting over him from a distance for the last half hour. “Yeah?” he murmured with disinterest.

  “Some major business convention.” Cole said, watching the boy. “We always get extra customers during those events.”

  Abel nodded absently, rubbing his lips together, taunting the man at the table.

  “You should clean up pretty good.” Cole's gaze shifted to the man, who was about two seconds from approaching Abel. “You're always one of the favorites with those guys.”

  Sliding off the stool, Abel shook his head slowly, “I won't be here.”

  “What?” Cole started, but Abel was moving in on his prey. The boy's whole attitude seemed off. He rarely did the stalking, but rather let the prey come to him. Abel approached the man, teased him with light touches, taunting smiles, deliberately moving around him so that his crotch repeatedly brushed close to the customer's face. The kid was always good at the seduction, but it seemed different this time, like watching a flesh covered machine. No emotion showed in his eyes or on his face, which was odd for Abel. He could never totally hold his emotions at bay.

  The customer scooted his chair back and Abel stepped in between his knees, giving the guy a little teaser dance—not uncommon, to get them hooked so they would pay more to get more.

  Abel ran his fingers through the man's hair, straddled his lap and sat, rolling his ass against his crotch. This was more than Abel usually gave up out here in front. Cole frowned as the boy allowed the man to fondle his ass, reaching deep down inside the back of his pants to handle his bare flesh.

  A hard breath pushed up Cole's throat as his frown tightened. Abel was all over the guy, caressing, kissing up and down his neck. When he finally stood up, the man followed eagerly, crotch bulging, trailing Abel to one of the lap dance cubicles.

  Just how much are you going to give him? A tightening of Cole's gut suggested the boy may overstep the typical eighty-percent allotment. He didn't like that—it wasn't Abel. It might be more common with some of the other boys, but not Abel. And after learning the details of his past, Cole understood his aversion to the in-depth touching. But now...he was all for it? This thing with Devlin was messing the boy up bad, but would it effect him this way? Maybe he's just to the place where he thinks 'fuck it' and just don't care anymore.

  Cole rubbed his eyes. “Maybe.” he whispered, slight nausea invading his gut. It hurt to see Abel going down this path...and feeling helpless to change his course.

  * * * *

  The man produced a wad of bills, pinched between his fingers, and grinned up at Abel from the red vinyl cushioned chair. “What'll this get me?” His eyes raked over Abel's body, lingering on his crotch.

  Abel leaned over and gripped the man's thighs, slinking in close, letting his lips skim across the man's cheek to his ear. “I like you, so...” his lips glided down the man's neck and up again. “...maybe a little more than my usual customers get from me.”

  Groaning soft, the man smiled, “I like that.”

  Abel drew back and turned on the music, a slower beat, and went about removing his clothes, painstakingly slow until the man was whimpering with need. Down to his skimpy shorts, he moved in between the man's legs and swayed his crotch in the guy's face.

  “Fuck, yes.” the man moaned and stuffed the cash down the front of Abel's shorts. When he went to draw back, Abel grabbed his hand.

  “Tuck that cash in deeper.” he murmured, eyes heavy, a smile twitching his lips. He pushed the man's hand deeper inside his shorts and rubbed his cock against his palm. “Don't want it slipping out.”

  “No we don't.” he rasped and squeezed Abel's dick. His lips touched Abel's stomach as his other hand slid up the back of his thigh to his ass, fingers shoving under the scanty shorts, gripping his firm cheek. “Oh fuck, baby, you feel good.”

  Able smiled, eyes dull, feeling nothing as his fingers dove into the man's hair as he rocked his hips, pushing his cock against the guy's hand and practically rubbing his crotch in his face. He closed his eyes and squeezed fistfuls of hair as the man's mouth moved lower and began sucking his cock through his shorts. “Mmm.” Abel moaned, for effect. When the guy went to tug down his shorts for a fuller taste, Abel pushed him back in the chair and smiled coolly, “Let me.”

  The customer adjusted in the chair as Abel went down on him, tugging open his pants and pulling out his stiff cock. The man was circumcised and his cock head was thick, slightly purple, and bubbling clear cum juice. As Abel's hands sli
d up and down his shaft, a low pulse followed his fists. He kept up the stroking as he dipped his head and covered the bulbous crown with his mouth, sucking firmly, his tongue teasing the ultra-sensitive groove on the underside of the head.

  “Holy shit!” the man gasped and grabbed Abel's head, hips lifting.

  The thick vein running along the underside of his shaft was full and pressed into Abel's palms as they slid up and down his hot, tacky flesh.

  “Ahh fuck.” the man swallowed hard. “What'll it cost me to get my cock in your ass?”

  Abel raised his head and licked his lips, smiling dryly. “Sorry, baby...this ass is reserved for the boys with the big bucks.”

  “How big?” the man groaned as Abel's thumb massaged his cock head.

  “Five thousand a pop.”