by Haley Travis
my book and even hit upon a few new side topics I didn’t know I needed to express. My
back and arms were tired from the physical labor, but my mental energy was at an all-time
high.
I was also approaching a few topics through fresh eyes, now that I was definitely
fascinated with a romantic connection. Nobody had ever treated me like Dean did, and I
was coming to realize that I couldn’t let our relationship end when I went home. Everything
about him just felt… Right.
I was falling for him hard and fast, which scared me a bit. My friends and coworkers had
told me so many stories over the years of how difficult relationships were. How they had to
fight to get the man to open up. How they had to learn how to be what he wanted, and how
to express themselves around him so that he would understand what they needed.
That just didn’t seem to apply to Dean and I. Maybe it was too simple, and I was being
completely naïve. Yet every part of me simply screamed to throw my arms around him and
hold him close. I imagined sleeping in his thick arms, and nearly melted from the thought.
Taking a break to stretch my shoulders again, I heard my phone beep. Picking it up, there
was a text from Laura.
Laura: We’re all dying to hear about the hot farm boys! And how is the writing going?
Laughing, I took a photo of my poetry walls and sent it before sitting cross legged on my
bed.
Me: There’s the layout of my book! It’s going really well.
Me: It’s going really well with a farm boy, too. Well, man. He’s a bit older.
Laura: ARE YOU SERIOUS? I’m with Kim and she just screamed in my ear. Tell us
everything.
Me: His name is Dean, and he’s amazingly sweet.
Me: Before Kim asks, yes, he’s sexy too.
Laura: What else? How far have you gone?
Me: He really seems to care about me, and he makes me feel precious. Cared for. It’s hard to explain.
Me: Yeah, we kissed a little. Beyond that, tell Kim to mind her own.
Laura: You know that she’s saying that all of our love lives are her business.
Me: LOL - yeah, I know. All I can say is that he’s incredibly gorgeous, and I feel like I’m dissolving into clouds every time he touches me.
Laura: I just told Kim that our poet has fallen in love, and she’s making gagging noises. But honestly, I want to hear how your poetry changes.
Me: Me too, actually. I’ve been writing all afternoon. He inspires me. I love the way he looks at the world.
Noticing the little clock on the table, I realized I had to be in the kitchen in three minutes.
Me: I have to get to the farmhouse to prep for supper. Hug each other for me.
Laura: Hug Dean for us. Kim says to grab his ass, but I say that’s your call.
Me: You’re both terrible. Bye.
I peeked out the window to see that the rain had stopped. I brushed my hair out and put on
a flowery sundress, rushing into the farmhouse to help with dinner.
Miriam introduced me to the new guest, Ryan, who instantly launched into elaborate stories
of tours with his band. He was a pretty good looking guy, although a bit full of himself. But
he did spin a good tale, and Miriam and I were in stitches while we worked.
Tearing up the lettuce for the salad, I actually snort-giggled as Ryan told us about the time
his bass player got drunk after a gig and needed three band members to help her out of her
fishnets, which were caught in the zipper of her fancy high-heeled boots.
“So there she was, scream-laughing so loud that we thought we were going to be kicked
out of the hotel. She was on her back on the bed with her feet in the air, three guys yanking
at her legs and feet. That’s when Tim opened the door for the bell boy who was delivering
the extra rollaway bed for the night.”
We all cracked up as Ryan shook his head. “I can’t imagine what he thought was going on,
or what told the rest of the staff.”
I saw Dean pass by the doorway, and waved, but he didn’t seem to see me. Miriam and I
continued peppering Ryan with questions about his weird adventures, as I heard the
farmhands gathering in the dining room.
With the salad finished, I ran out to set the table, and saw that Dean was sitting between
Gus and Chuck. A pang of disappointment struck me as I realized I wouldn’t have his hand
on my knee throughout most of our dinner.
I ended up sitting next to Miriam’s husband Mike, asking him endless questions about farm
life. Ryan was on my other side, and seemed more interested in learning about how to get
up super early in the morning, and survive on less sleep.
Although it was another wonderful chatty dinner, I couldn’t catch Dean’s eye to smile at him.
A chill ran through me as I wondered if he’d changed his mind about us.
As I slowly ate my small slice of strawberry rhubarb pie, I couldn’t make sense of it. Dean
was such a solid man. He wouldn’t lead me on. I didn’t think he was the type to make up his
mind one minute, and change it to next.
Maybe he’d gotten some terrible news? My blood ran cold. Dammit. Maybe Miriam and
Mike had found out about Dean and I, and were upset with him? Another shudder ran
through me, and I couldn’t control it.
“Joanna, are you cold?” Ryan asked. He took his jean jacket from the back of his chair and
draped it around my shoulders.
“Thanks,” I smiled at him. Finally, Dean looked in my direction, but his normally expressive
eyes were blank.
He left as soon as dinner was finished, and I noticed that even Miriam shot him a funny
look. Trying to put it out of my mind for the moment, I simply got to work, gathering plates.
I brought a load of dishes into the kitchen, accidentally catching Mike give Miriam a sweet
kiss before he disappeared. She watched him leave, wiping her hands on her apron before
turning to me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I said.
“Don’t you worry. We have to get a little sugar whenever we can, right?”
Giving the plates a quick rinse before placing them in the dishwasher, I tried to tilt my hair into my face so that she couldn’t see me blushing.
Glancing up, Miriam was staring at me strangely. Then she laughed. “Don’t you think for a
split second that I don’t know every single thing that goes on around this place. I know
you’re sweet on someone too.”
“We didn’t... I mean, I know we’re not supposed to...” I stammered. “Please don’t be mad
at him.”
She patted me on the shoulder before filling the sink. “Honey, I have no problem with you
two getting cozy. It’s none of my damn business. I spread the rumor that staff should not
mingle with guests a long time ago when we had a worker who was a bit of a horn dog. We
also had a string of sweet young ladies up here that summer, so I thought fearing for his job
might help him keep his distance.”
I grabbed a towel to dry the pots after she scrubbed them. “I shouldn’t say a single word,
again, it not being my business, and all. But Dean is a good man. He’ll make someone a fine
husband someday.” Miriam gave me a sideways look. “He’s not the type to love ‘em and
leave ‘em. So unless you’re interested in trying for the long haul, don’t even bother.”
I nodded, thinking. “I’ve never really thought about what I wanted. New things always mak
e me nervous, which is why I forced myself to come here.”
“Trying new things and growing is good,” she agreed. “But a woman always knows in her
heart what sort of man she needs to feel fulfilled.” Miriam stared out the window with a
dreamy smile. “A good man doesn’t change you. He lifts you up. Helps you see all sides of
yourself. He’ll stand back and let you shine, and stand up for you in any situation.”
Swallowing hard, I realized that’s exactly how I felt about Dean. “So... If he makes you feel
like you’re special, a treasure that he’s discovered, he’s probably the one?”
She nodded. “I know it’s a bit scary when it happens so fast.”
“That’s for sure.”
She handed me a frying pan while she laughed brightly. “I met Mike on a Thursday night,
and he asked my father for my hand by Monday. We’ve been together forty-four glorious
years, and every time he kisses me, I still feel that little flutter.”
“Wow.” I took a moment to put the pans away and wipe the counters. “I wish I knew why
Dean was so quiet at dinner. Things were great this morning.”
“Think it through, Joanna,” Miriam suggested. “What was different at dinner tonight?”
I couldn’t think of anything important. “The blonde girls were gone, so there were more men
at the table?”
“With one new guy.”
“Ryan?”
“Yes,” Miriam said, drying her hands and facing me. “A hot guy closer to your own age who
was flirting with you shamelessly.”
“I was just making conversation,” I said quickly. “He can’t think–”
“A man in love doesn’t always think straight,” she said gently. “He might feel easily
threatened. Or he might be looking for any excuse to call things off before they really get
started, so that he can’t get hurt. Or so that he can guarantee that he doesn’t hurt you.”
“That makes no sense. Shouldn’t a man go after the girl he wants?”
“Honey, I’m not an expert by any stretch, but if I’ve learned anything about men, it’s this.
They’re downright strange, and when they’re busy falling in love they sometimes don’t have
the common sense of a cabbage. The only way around it is to sit him down and talk.”
I felt my entire face scrunch up. “I’m not good at awkward conversations.”
“Then you’ll need a lot more of them to get used to it. Get crackin’.”
“Thanks, Miriam.”
“You’re welcome, honey. I’ll bet you a pie he’s in the barn, sharpening things. He does that
when he’s upset.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
* Dean *
Running the sharpening stone along the edge of the hoe over and over, I tried to force
myself to become lost in the rhythm. Sometimes a repetitive task calmed my mind, helping
me to release anger and frustration.
Watching Joanna with Ryan had confirmed all of my fears. I didn’t think I could ever make
her laugh that hard. I didn’t think I had any stories of my life that would entertain her nearly that much.
That sweet beautiful girl needed so much more than what I could give her. There was no
way in hell that I was going to hold her back, with nothing to offer but a simple country life.
And all of my love. Considering that I’d never really loved before, and had no idea if I was
any good at it, that probably wasn’t enough.
Joanna had her whole life ahead of her to find interesting men, have a few relationships,
and figure out what she truly needed. The only honorable thing I could do was step out of
her way.
I could do that for her. I could trade responsibilities with Dusty for the next week. He was a good man, and I knew that he would keep her safe. There was no chance of him hitting on
her.
Setting down the hoe and moving on to the axe, I tried to breathe calmly as I slid the stone
across the steel. I should only be focused on work, anyway. Risking my job was not a
smart move. Although I wasn’t sure how strict Miriam and Mike were, it certainly wouldn’t
endear me to them if I were to hook up with a guest.
It felt like a gear tightening in my guts as I wondered if I would be nothing but a hook up to Joanna. On some level, I knew she wasn’t like those frivolous girls. But on the other hand, I
didn’t know her very well yet. There was a decent chance I was misreading everything.
The wave of disappointment felt like a cloud of soot around me. Maybe I’d wanted to
believe that those few stolen kisses meant more than they did, simply because I was
getting lonely. That wasn’t fair to Joanna, to try to think of her as something she wasn’t. I’d stay away from her and keep my hands off her for the next eight days.
I was just about to dig out my phone and text Dusty, asking if he was okay to be Joanna’s
helper in the morning, when I heard the barn door open. “Hello?”
Joanna’s light voice rang through the echoey space as she stepped inside, closing the door
carefully behind her. The second her eyes met mine, the warmth of her smile shot straight
through me. It was just as sweet as it had been earlier today when we almost went too far
right there in the field.
She came over to where I was sitting on the small leather-topped stool, the only furniture in the barn beyond the worktables. “You were quiet at dinner,” she said. “Is anything wrong?”
Setting the axe blade on the ground, I held the handle in one hand and the stone in the other
so that I couldn’t reach for her. “Everything’s fine,” I said. “The crops were watered, then
the sun came out. It’s a good day.”
“Are you mad at me?” she asked softly. “I’m really sorry if I did anything wrong.”
Goddammit, she looked so precious in that little summer dress. “Everything’s fine, Joanna,”
I said, my voice sounding tight. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re just a normal twenty-
one-year-old girl, who should be out meeting all sorts of men to find out what she likes.”
She stared at me again, unblinking. I wished that I could read her mind, but as her eyes
narrowed, maybe it was better than I didn’t.
CHAPTER NINE
* Joanna *
I stared at him, not moving for a full minute. Then I burst into peals of laughter. “Good grief, are you jealous that I was talking to Ryan?”
“Not jealous, exactly,” Dean said quite seriously. “It just made me realize that you need a
man who is more your age. Someone more exciting. Someone who will take you on
adventures and show you the world.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said. “Please, put that stuff down for a minute?”
He stood up and dropped everything on the worktable, turning back to me with a strange,
almost paralyzing calm. “It’s all right, Joanna,” he said gently. “I’m sure he’s better suited to you. You’re a young woman – you want parties, and the nightlife. That’s absolutely fine.”
I stared at him. “What the heck are you even talking about?”
Some of the life had drained from his bright brown eyes. “Joanna, I know that I’m not the
guy for you. It’s okay.” He ran a hand through his thick hair, looking so dejected that I
wanted to throw my arms around him.
Part of me wanted to run away and avoid this entire awkward conversation. I didn’t
understand what he meant. But I realized in a split second that the most important thing
was for him to know that I reall
y cared for him.
If I was going to be the kind of girl who took charge of her life and made big decisions, now
was a good time to start. Stepping toward him, I threw my arms around his neck. “I want
you to be my guy,” I said, stretching up to kiss him. But he pushed me away a few inches,
holding me by the waist.
“Weren’t you just flirting with Ryan an hour ago?” he said, his voice thick with frustration.
It finally clicked. “I was laughing at crazy stories, yes. Miriam was laughing just as hard, and she certainly wasn’t flirting.”
Trailing my fingertips through the back of his hair, I stared up at him. “I spent all afternoon writing like crazy because you inspire me. You make me feel amazing. And I realized that I
really want to be with you.”
I felt a shudder run through him as he crashed his lips to mine, holding me against his huge,
hard body. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Joana,” he murmured against my lips. “I just can’t believe that such a sweet beautiful girl like you would want to settle into a relationship with me.”
“It will take some time to figure out, but I want to try,” I said, winding my fingers into the back of his hair. “Please, Dean, can we try?”
“I’ll do anything you want, baby.”
He was looking at me so tenderly my heart turned to pie filling. “Dean, I know it’s not
exactly allowed, but there are only two people in the guest building tonight. Maybe... You
could walk me back?”
I didn’t know how to say that I wanted to be alone with him where it was safe for us to be
together, but he obviously caught my meaning.
“Anything for my sweetie.”
He took my hand, walking me out of the barn and around the back of the farmhouse to my
door. I unlocked it quickly, and we went inside. As I kicked off my sneakers and he pulled
off his boots, I realized that the large bed was suddenly the most important piece of
furniture ever.
Somehow, I wasn’t nervous, only excited. As those thick, muscular arms wrapped around
me, there was no way I could be afraid. Dean had cared for me from the second we met,
and I knew he’d never stop. The urge to show him how I felt was overwhelming, but I’d
figure it out.
CHAPTER TEN
* Dean *
As I held Joanna against me, I felt the tiniest shiver run through her. “Sweetie, don’t be