Word of Honor

by Terri Blackstock

  Her grin faded. “Do people really have nothing better to do than to talk about what I do when I’m off duty?”

  “There are people who care about you.”

  She laughed aloud, but there was no joy in it. “I don’t need that kind of caring.” She opened the door and started out, then turned back. “Let me know if you find Larry Hampton, will you?”

  Ray had a puzzled, concerned expression on his face as he watched her leave.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Jerry Ingalls’s eyes were more alive than she’d seen them since she had met him. He’d been told that Jill had agreed to represent him, and now he had hope as he sat with her in the interrogation room.

  “Jerry, I want you to know that I’ve decided to represent you for one reason. I figured out who it is you’re covering for.”

  He looked down at the wood grain on the table, obviously not surprised.

  “It’s Frank Harper,” she said. She didn’t know why it was necessary to say the name out loud. Maybe she just wanted to see the reaction on his face.

  He got up, putting his back to her, but didn’t say a word.

  “I admire your loyalty to the man who saved your life, Jerry,” she said. “He was a hero. But he’s not a hero anymore. The Frank Harper who blew up the post office and ran me off the bridge and caught your house on fire is not the same man who saved your life in Vietnam.”

  “Tell me about it,” he said, swinging around to face her. “He gave his life for me, and that means something to me.”

  “I know,” she said. “It means something to me, too. I’m a Christian. I know about someone giving his life for me.”

  “No, you don’t.” He pulled the chair back out and plopped into it, looking smugly across the table at her. “You don’t know about that. If you did, it would change every area of your life. Not a day would go by, not an hour, that you weren’t thankful for what he did for you. You’d wear it like a robe. It would be all over your face. His light would shine out of you. But you don’t.”

  She felt as if she’d been slapped. “How dare you? You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’m like.”

  “I know that you don’t have much faith. You have enough honor to take me for a client, but it didn’t bother you at all to break your promise to me at first.”

  She was getting angry. “Then why do you even want me for your lawyer?”

  “Because I believe God threw us together for a reason.”

  If she hadn’t uttered those same words to Dan less than an hour ago, his comment wouldn’t have had much impact. Now it sounded like a sign. Was God speaking to her through Jerry? She honestly didn’t know.

  She threw her hands up. “Jerry, you make me feel really helpless. I don’t even know where to start with you.”

  “Start by understanding what I understand.”

  “I can’t make myself understand something that has no basis in logic!”

  “How much time do you spend each day studying God’s Word?” The question came like a spear through the air, impaling her right through the heart.

  “I’m a busy woman, Jerry. I have people running me off of bridges and putting guns to my head…”

  “When life is normal,” he said. “How much time? Fifteen minutes? Thirty?”

  “Sometimes,” she said.

  “Sometimes what? Fifteen or thirty? And how much time do you spend in prayer?”

  “I pray!” she said. It was getting hot in the room, and she got up and turned on the fan in the corner. “You know, Jerry, meeting with you just wears me out.”

  “Just think about it,” he said. “A man gave his life for you, and you mostly ignore him.”

  “I do not ignore him! I’m in church three times a week…”

  “So you think he died for you so you could walk in and out of his house three times a week?”

  She knew her face was red. She snatched up her briefcase. “Look, just forget it. I thought I could represent you, but now I see that I can’t—”

  “Why? Because I say what I see? Because I pointed out that you can’t possibly understand my loyalty to the man who saved my skin, since you obviously don’t have much for the one who saved yours?”

  “No! Because we need to be talking about the case, not about my spiritual life…which happens to be just fine, thank you very much!”

  “Okay,” he said, holding up his hands innocently. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone. Just…don’t leave.”

  She sat down and looked at the table until she could calm her thoughts. Finally, she said, “We have to talk about your arraignment tomorrow.”

  “All right,” he said. “Let’s talk.”

  Jill only hoped she could get through their conversation without losing her temper.

  When she’d finished with Jerry, Jill stopped by Stan’s desk. He was just getting off the phone and looked up at her as he hung it up. “Everything go okay in there?” he asked. “You look a little ragged.”

  She felt more ragged than she’d ever felt, and she wasn’t sure why. “Everything went fine. Did you find out anything about Frank Harper?”

  “Yes. He checked in at a little hole-in-the-wall motel in the French Quarter the night of the bombing, but didn’t stay all night. We also found out that he was here, at Joe’s Place, early that morning. R.J. Albright talked to him, but couldn’t remember anything specific they’d talked about.”

  She shivered. “I don’t know why that bothers me. I mean, I figured he had been here. But to know he was that close.”

  Stan studied her for a moment. “Jill, are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine. Just…trying to process my meeting with Jerry. He’s not an easy man to get along with.”

  Stan’s phone rang, so he picked it up. “Stan Shepherd.”

  “I’ll see you later,” Jill whispered. “Call on my cell phone if you need me.”

  He nodded and waved.

  She stepped out into the light and took in a breath of hot, humid air. She glanced next door at the fire station. Dan’s rental car was there, and she knew he was back on duty, waiting for the opportunity to destroy his shoulder again, since it wasn’t ready to be tested. She wondered how he had gotten the doctor to give him a medical release.

  Irritated, she cut across the lawn.

  Aunt Aggie was in the kitchen ordering everyone to the table. Jill stood in the doorway and looked at her watch. She hadn’t even realized it was dinnertime yet.

  The old woman was the first to spot her. “Jill, sha, bring yourself on in and have some eats with us. We got plenty!”

  Dan heard Jill’s name and appeared from another room. “Jill, how’d it go?”

  “Fine,” she said. “Uh…I’m not hungry. I can’t stay…”

  “Yes, she can, Aunt Aggie. She needs to eat. Jill, humor me on this one thing, okay?”

  Jill grinned, then became aware of the eyes of all her firefighter friends on her. They were assessing her relationship with Dan, trying to decide if they were fully on again. She hoped they didn’t ask her, because she wasn’t sure herself.

  “All right. Maybe I am a little hungry.”

  “You don’t want to hurt an old woman’s feelin’s,” Aunt Aggie said. “Now sit yourself down here and let me get you a plate. Preacher, you want to say the prayer?”

  Jill still had trouble picturing Aunt Aggie as a Christian. The last few times she’d eaten here, Aunt Aggie had seemed resentful of Nick Foster’s insistence on prayer before eating. It was strange to see her asking for it.

  Jill bowed her head as Nick thanked God for Aunt Aggie and for her cooking, and for the food they were about to share. As he went on talking to God about protection on their calls, Jerry Ingalls’s words came back to her. Had he been right about her spiritual life? Were there things she needed to examine? And if so, when would she find the time?

  She decided at that moment that she needed to be alone with God tonight, and it couldn’t happen at the Brannings
’ house.

  She ate quietly, conversing neither with Dan nor with his coworkers. She sensed Dan’s tension next to her, as if he knew something was wrong. Once when she looked up, she saw Nick Foster, her preacher, looking at her. She wondered if he was assessing her heart, as well.

  After they had eaten, Dan walked Jill into the truck bay. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yeah, fine.”

  “You’re sure quiet. Are you mad that I came back on duty? Because I got my medical release, you know. They said I could come back.”

  “I admit, I was a little aggravated when I saw that. You know your arm isn’t ready, Dan.”

  He propped his good arm over her head and leaned against the wall. “It’s fine. I’m still stronger than most of the guys here.”

  “At least you’re modest.”

  He grinned and gazed down at her. “So tell me the truth. How did the meeting with Jerry Ingalls go?”

  She crossed her arms, then realized how defensive that looked and let them drop to her sides. “I’m just smarting a little. Jerry challenged my biblical knowledge and my prayer life. It kind of stung.”

  “A known terrorist is questioning your beliefs?”

  “Yeah. You believe that?”

  “I told you he was crazy.”

  She pushed off from the wall and put some distance between them, as her arms crossed again. She looked down at the concrete floor. “The thing is, he isn’t, really. The things he said, they made an awful lot of sense.”

  “Things like what?”

  “Things like the attention I give to Christ. Things like how important he is in my life. Things like this concept of covenant that I don’t know anything about, even though I’ve been a Christian for years.”

  “Jill, I don’t think Jerry Ingalls’s level of spirituality is something you should aspire to.”

  “I know,” she said. “But as he was talking, I started feeling really defensive. See, I think God can speak to us through all kinds of people. Even people like Jerry. Before, when he was talking about all those Old Testament covenant stories, it rang true, Dan. This isn’t about Jerry. It’s about me, and my relationship with God.”

  He slid his hands into his pockets. “All right. I can’t argue with that.”

  “I’m going to read all about covenant tonight,” she said. “Everything I can find. I just want to know…to understand. If it’s there, in the Bible—and I guess it is—then it must be important, don’t you think?”

  “Maybe. Or maybe Ingalls is one of those kooks who makes mountains out of molehills.”

  “I don’t think this is a molehill, Dan.”

  “Okay,” he said. “Whatever you say. We can look it over tomorrow after I get off. I’ll bring my concordance.”

  She looked up at him, shaking her head. “I can’t wait until tomorrow. I need to know tonight.”

  “Well, okay. I’ll dig some tonight, too.”

  “Okay. I just…feel really fragmented lately…scattered…I could use a little grounding, and some serious quiet time with God.”

  “I guess we could all use some of that. You could probably stand some time without me, too. I’ve been hovering over you pretty good lately.”

  She didn’t object as adamantly as she should have. “No, Dan. It’s not that.”

  “Are you sure?” his tone was flat, as if he didn’t believe her.

  “Yes, of course.”

  The fire phone rang, and seconds later, the alarm went off, alerting all the firefighters that there was work to be done. She stepped back against the wall, out of the way, as Dan and the others ran to get geared up. When they had pulled out of the bay, she hurried back to her car, hoping she could continue this with Dan later.

  Chapter Fifty

  Jill called T.J. Porter, a cop who took jobs as a security whenever he could, and hired him to stand guard outside a hotel room so that she could be alone. Allie didn’t like the idea.

  “Jill, are you sure you’re ready to stay in a hotel with that man out there looking for you?”

  “Yes,” Allie said. “I’ll rent a room at the Biltmore in Slidell. I have some things to think about, and I need to be alone.”

  She hadn’t considered how Allie might take that, until she saw her reaction. “I’m sorry if we’re too noisy for you.”

  “No, no!” Jill said. “Nothing like that. It’s just…” She dropped her bag on the floor and looked down at it. “Oh, I might as well tell you. Jerry Ingalls threw some stones at me today. Some spiritual stones.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “He challenged my Christianity.”

  “He what? The guy who held you hostage for hours is challenging you?” Allie moved the baby from one hip to the other. “Well, that just goes to show you that he doesn’t have a clue. He doesn’t know you at all.”

  Jill wasn’t so sure. “Maybe he does. He had some good points. I want to be alone so I can do some studying. I don’t read my Bible very much, Allie, and I don’t take much time to pray…I just…need to reevaluate some things.”

  Allie began to look worried. “You’re not questioning your salvation, are you?”

  “No,” Jill said. “Not that at all. But I am questioning my relationship with the man who died for me. I think I need to question it.”

  “Well, okay. Then you do need to be alone. But couldn’t you just lock yourself in Justin’s room? We’d be quiet.”

  “No, Allie. It’s not you. I just need to be totally alone.”

  Allie sighed and shook her head. “All right. Call me in the morning, okay? Let me know you’re all right.”

  “Okay.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss on Justin’s fat cheek. “I’ll see you two later. If Dan calls, tell him to call me on my cell phone, okay? I’ll just let him think I’m still here.”

  “Why won’t you tell him where you really are?”

  “Because then there would be this big argument over it, and I really want to concentrate on the Bible tonight.”

  “All right, I guess I can do that.”

  Jill smiled. “Thanks so much for being here for me. What would I have done without you?”

  “It’s not over yet, Jill. The invitation always stands. After you get this spiritual thing worked out, you’re welcome to come back.”

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Jill felt safe with the armed guard outside her hotel room door, but she wasn’t sure if it was his presence that calmed her, or the distraction of Jerry Ingalls’s accusations about her spiritual life. She hadn’t had to go home for her Bible. It had been lying on the backseat of her car, exactly where she’d left it after church last Sunday. Dismally, she realized that was where she kept it most of the time.

  She threw herself onto the bed and wondered where in the world to start reading. Should she start with the four Gospels, or the Epistles, or go back to the Old Testament? Then she remembered Jerry’s mention of the Abrahamic covenant.

  She looked in her concordance for the word covenant and found the first reference in Genesis. She turned to the story of Noah and began reading.

  She was completely absorbed when the cell phone rang. It was Dan.

  “Don’t tell me,” Jill said. “You’ve dislocated your shoulder again and you’re on your way to the hospital.”

  “Nope. It’s been a real slow night, and my arm is great. I’ve been doing a little reading…”

  “Me, too,” she said.

  “I’ve also been talking to Nick. I think I’ve gotten a little insight on what Jerry might be thinking about this covenant stuff. Wanna hear it?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “All right. Well, see, there were these two guys who were best friends. I mean, really, really close friends. Closer than brothers. They wind up going to war together, and they sort of bond, you know?”

  She frowned, assuming he was talking about Jerry and Frank Harper. “Yeah. I can understand that.”

  “So one day Friend One tells Friend Two th
at he wants them to have a covenant with each other, right? He wants to know that whatever happens, Friend Two will protect him. And he promises to do the same. He also wants to be sure that, if anything happens to him, his friend will protect his family, and take care of them. Again, he promises the same. Are you with me?”

  “Yes,” she said, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “I’m with you.”

  “So as a symbol of this covenant, they swap clothes.”

  “Clothes?” she asked. “Isn’t that a little crazy?”

  “Just stay with me. See, Friend One is a higher rank than Friend Two, so when he gives Friend Two his clothes, it’s like he’s giving him all the privileges and rights of that rank. When his subordinates see him, they think he’s the other guy. But his enemies consider him a greater target than he was when he wore his own clothes. So with the privilege comes awesome responsibility.”

  “Wait,” Jill said. “That’s not allowed in the military. You can’t just swap each other’s uniforms.”

  “But they did,” he said. “And what it symbolized to each of them was this: ‘I’m in you, and you’re in me.’ They were so closely identified that they were literally willing to give their lives for each other. Over and over, the higher ranking friend protects his subordinate friend.”

  “Yeah, go on.”

  “Then one day, a great tragedy befalls Friend One’s family, and he’s killed along with his wife and children…”

  She got to her feet. “I thought you were talking about Jerry and Frank Harper. Dan, who are you talking about?”

  She could tell he was grinning, and his tone was escalating, as if he couldn’t wait to get the whole story out. “Just listen. Friend Two grieves deeply, and just about never gets over it. He gets promoted, big-time, and is very successful, but he still never gets over the death of his friend. Then one day, years later, he finds out that Friend One has a son that is still living. He’s excited, right? Because he thought all the children had been killed.

  “He finds out that this son was injured in the tragedy that came on his family, and it crippled him. But his nanny got him out of harm’s way, and she’s raised him ever since. Now he’s an adult, living in poverty, still crippled.”