by Shan
Him sleeping in the back yard was how we met. I laughed to myself just thinking how funny I thought it was when I saw Brandon laying with a poor looking Doberman. I was only nine years old then and didn't know any better. My pops sent me to their house to collect on a debt that was owed by Brandon's pops and I ended up making a new friend and gaining an older brother. That night I took Brandon home with me and after he told my moms the shit he was going through he never went back and he never talked about it again.
"Tae?" Rozalyn rose her head and squinted in my direction. I put out the cigarette I was puffing on in the ashtray and stood up from the floor.
"My bad I wasn't trying to wake you." I said walking over to the bed. I pulled my shirt off, then my jeans, and climbed in the bed next to her.
"No, I'm glad you did. Where have you been? I've been worried." Rozalyn yawned.
"You ain't gotta worry about me ma. I'm good. I just had to get away and clear my head. You know me."
I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed on her stomach. I hated to keep asking her about the babies and if she was sure they were mine but it would eat me to pieces if it came back that they wasn't.
"Tae, they're yours. I wish you would stop asking me that," Rozalyn sighed pushing my hand away.
I laughed, "I didn't even say anything."
"You didn't have to. Every time you touch my stomach you ask. I'm sick of telling you the same thing every day almost."
"A’ight, I won't ask no more. You just know that it would fuck me up if they wasn't."
"Well they are and that's the last time I'm saying it."
"You know you don't have to go to the funeral today," I said placing my arm back around her.
"Why is that? You blame me like everybody else, huh?" Rozalyn rolled over to face me.
"No...shit I did. That's another reason why I ain't been here but I thought about it and can't nobody really be blamed but the person that did it. I was just saying that ‘cause I didn't wanna put too much stress on you. If you wanna go then that's cool." I kissed Rozalyn, pushed her onto her back, and then climbed on top of her. "I missed you."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did girl. You and that lil’ bad ass boy," I pulled Rozalyn's gown up and kissed on her nipples. She placed her hand on my head and rubbed it while letting out soft moans. Reaching down I pulled my penis from my boxers and freed my erection, then pulled her panties to the side. Slowly I entered her instantly feeling like I was about to nut up.
“Baby, be careful. You smushing my stomach,” Rozalyn said bringing her arms up around me.
“A’ight,” I turned Rozalyn onto her side and reentered her insides slowly. After all that Rozalyn and I had been through I was happy that we were where we are today. I was about to make one final deal that would set me and my family straight for the rest of our lives; on top of that my trust fund would be coming in next week. I was getting out the drug game while I still had my riches, my life, and what was left of my family. I had planned on expanding all over but things were just getting way out of hand and I had a feeling I might not be as lucky in the future. As crazy as shit had been going for me lately. it was the best thing I could do right now.
After having sex, Rozalyn and I lie in the bed talking for a couple of hours before getting ready to say our final good byes to Keylan. Last time I walked into a church to say good bye to someone I loved was for Rozalyn who ended up being alive; boy how I wished that the situation would end the same for Keylan but I knew it wasn’t happening. He was dead and it was nothing I could do about it now.
***
The funeral was packed; people that we've gotten to know in Miami was live and showing respect and the whole damn hood from the A was representing. The MPD must have been warned that a hood homecoming was going on today because they were in full effect. Once it was time for everyone to get up and say a few words about Keylan; I stood up to go first. I hadn't planned on saying anything being I didn't want to get too emotional in front of all these people and show a weakness I never wanted anyone to see.
I stood behind the podium and picked up the mike. After clearing my throat instead of looking into the church I chose to look down at the casket.
"Everybody that knew Keylan pretty much knew me. It was unlikely that you would see him and not see me. We may not have been blood but we was as close as blood could get. I've been knowing Keylan since I was 10 years old, grew up with him, fought with him. We did just about everything together. This is probably one of the hardest things...."
My blood immediately began to boil at the sight of seeing my pops and Tavon walk into the church. All thought had been lost; everything I was going to say in memory of my boy had been forgotten. Only thing I could think of was how fuckin’ disrespectful they were being by walking up in here like it was nothing.
Everyone took note of my sudden uneasiness and turned to see if they could see what had me so bothered. With my eyes only I told Money to let it be. They were just as aware as the police presence as we were and knew nothing could be done to them. I shook off the sudden rage of emotion that shot through my body and finished what I had to say.
"Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by a couple of snakes that felt the need to stick their heads above the grass; Keylan's sudden death hit home hard." I said. Everybody sitting in the pews began to stir, looking around trying to see whom I was speaking of.
"Everybody asking me what I'm gonna do, if I'm gonna just let the niggas slide that did this to Key and my answer to that is I got a family now and....Keylan would want for me to let everything work itself out. Everybody can stop asking me what I’m going to do. I'm not going to do anything."
That got even more of a stir from the crowd. People was really expecting me to get up there and snitch on my damn self. Muthafuckas been blowing up my phone asking who did it, was I going to handle it, or if I was going to pay to have the person responsible dealt with. Anybody that knew me knows that I never play pussy for shit; if they knew anything about me they know that I just sent a message letting B know not to rest easy. He may not have been here to hear my message but once word got out he would know. I was definitely coming for his ass and anybody affiliated with him would get it too.
44 ROZALYN
The girl that cried wolf
After Tamar spoke, a line of people waited their turn to tell everyone what their most fond memory of Keylan was. After hearing Starr speak I just couldn't take it anymore; hearing her tell how I pretty much ruined her life and her unborn's was enough. I excused myself to the restroom and waited there until it was time to leave.
I don't know how I could ever make it up to Starr; get her to forgive me for something that I never thought would happen. I just wish I could turn back and change everything but I know it was impossible.
"Hey, are you okay?" Latoya asked jolting me from my thoughts.
I sniffled a little and wiped my face with the back of my hand. I nodded my head yes but instantly a storm of tears flooded my eyes again.
"Look don't let nobody make you feel at fault for what happened to Keylan. Kevin told me you were feeling guilty because of what went down between you and B but that shi..." Latoya looked around remembering she was in a church. "You not responsible for what B did okay? I went on feeling so guilty for Keylan going off and almost killing Kevin for so long but..."
Starr walked into the restroom giving both Latoya and I a mean ass mug. Latoya exchanged her mug then brought her attention back to me once Starr walked into one of the bathroom stalls.
"Like I was saying Keylan cheated on me numerous times and not once did I gun one of them chicks down. I wanted to at times but didn't. B knew from jump that you and Tae had something going on and he should've never crossed those lines with you. He knew you would never leave Tae for him. He knew that Roz, so for him to do what he did to Key was on him and not you."
"Yea I knew you hoes would team up. Ya'll one in the same so why wouldn't you?" Starr said as she
came out.
Latoya laughed, "Girl let me tell you something. Why you getting mad at her, be mad at Keylan for giving B a second chance to breathe. He had a chance to handle B but chose to let him live. I tried to tell him that B wasn't gonna let that mess go that easy and he didn't wanna listen to me."
"What you mean you tried to tell him?" Starr asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"Who do you think he called after Tae smashed Brandon's face in. He damn sure wasn't going to call you knowing you would go running and tell Roz. Tae told Key to finish B off but instead Key called me and called a damn doctor to save B."
"Well it's her fault that Tae had to do that to Brandon. I've been telling you for the longest Roz to leave B alone and you didn't. I don't care what nobody says you caused this mess," Starr cried then proceeded to the sink to wash her hands.
"Girl if that's what you call a friend then I'll let you have it. You got my number so call me if you ever need to talk. Let me do what I came in here for," Latoya rolled her eyes at Starr then walked into a stall. Starr grabbed a few napkins, dried her hands and walked out of the restroom without saying any more to me. Once Latoya was through using the restroom she told me to please call her once this was all over with so we can go out and talk and I promised her I would. She left the restroom and I got up from the bench I was sitting on to wash my face so that I could go back out and be with Tae before he started to worry. Once I dabbed my face dry, I tossed the napkin in the trash and headed for the door. The moment I swung the door open I was face to face with Brandon. His shiny gold teeth shined through the smirk he wore on his face. He pushed me inside the bathroom and turned to lock the door so that no one could come in on us.
"What you gonna kill me now?" I asked backing away from him.
"If I wanted you dead I would've blew your brains out when you set me up," Brandon said.
"Well what are you doing here? You know damn well you the reason why we all here so why would you even be so disrespectful and show up?"
"‘Cause Key is still my fuckin’ brother. He knows I never meant for that shit to happen. Trust me it's been eating at me every day but it was either him or me," Brandon came closer to me. I backed up until I had nowhere else to go. He trapped me against the wall; placing one arm on both sides of me.
"Tae is gonna come looking for me. I've already been gone for a while," I said looking into Brandon's eyes.
"I love you Roz. I just wish things could've been different you know? I never once thought that this would be the outcome," Brandon leaned over and kissed me on my lips, I wanted to turn away from him but didn't. It wasn't that I wanted to kiss him but just didn't want to make him mad where he killed me in this restroom. My body began to tremble when he picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Brandon, put me down," my voice wavered as I placed my hand on his chest. He'd already lifted my dress and pulled my panties to the side. He ferociously kissed me all over before sliding himself into me. More tears slid down my face and the sad things is I didn't know if I really wanted him to stop. It was just something about B that made me feel as if I owed him my life whenever he was around. Just thinking about all the things he's done for me; how he saved my life on several occasions. He provided for me and my brother Zavier when we needed him. He was always there for me whenever Tae would beat me or when I found out he was cheating and needed someone to talk to.
I know that this was wrong and that I'd just said that I would never do this again after what happened but how can I say no to someone who has done so much for me. I will never love Brandon, never want to be with Brandon, but I appreciated him so much. No one would understand the way I felt but Brandon; which is why he knows that he could do things like this and each time I would submit myself to him.
Brandon gripped a hold of my behind and brought my pelvis into his each time he stroked. I relaxed my head against the wall and allowed my creaminess to melt and drip along his shaft. After a few more short strokes, Brandon came inside of me; he placed gentle kisses along my neck before putting me back down onto the floor.
"Roz, come away with me. Please baby I know you want to." Brandon said. He placed his penis back into his jeans and fixed his shirt. I grabbed a few napkins, wet them with water and soap, and washed up. Suddenly I felt disgusted with myself; here I was in the bathroom fuckin’ my husband's ex best friend while my husband sat not far away mourning the loss of another best friend that the person I was screwing caused.
"You hear me baby? Come on. You know I'll take care of you and the lil’ ones," Brandon said coming to where I was standing by the sink contemplating my next move.
"I'm not going anywhere with you. I told you before that I love Tae and that he cannot be replaced. Brandon I love you for everything you've done for me but I'm in love with my husband. I'll never love you the way that I love him," I explained hoping he would finally get it and just go away for good.
"You love him so much then why you keep fuckin’ me?" Brandon asked reaching for my hands.
I slapped his hand away then brought my hands up to my hair. I pulled my pony tail a loose then feathered my hair so that it looked wild.
"I didn't have sex with you. You raped me."
"What? You gonna pull that same shit you did in Jamaica now; you wanted it Roz! I felt your ass cum and everything! Tae is not gonna find us.."
"Aaaghhh! Help me! Somebody help me!" I screamed.
Brandon's yellow skin turned red and flushed. He brought his hands up to cover my mouth when I took my finger nails and scratched him across his face.
"Bitch! Shut the fuck up!" he yelled.
"Nigga your ass better run while you can.....help me! Aaghhhh!"
Brandon looked at me astonished that I was about to set him up once again. I had to. I see now that as much as I wanted to say no to him I couldn't. This had to be done. I could never let Tae know that I screwed his ex best friend again in the bathroom of Keylan's wake. This was a secret that I would take to my grave and I knew that making up this lie would be believable considering everything that Brandon had done. No one would ever believe Brandon; he and I both knew that.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
"Fuck!" Brandon screamed. He looked at me once more before running to the window that was located in the corner of the restroom. He took his elbow and broke out the glass. Once he jumped out the window, I messed my hair up even more, then took my hand and made a huge scratch along my neck.
"Szzz!" I flinched at the pain. I grabbed a hold of my stomach and slowly walked over to the door and unlocked it. "Oh my God. He...somebody....Tae!"
I knelt over pretending to be in pain when Tae grabbed me to keep me from falling.
"What happened? What's wrong?" Tae asked.
"He raped me...Brandon came in here and raped me. I'm sorry Tae, I tried to get away from him!" I cried.
"Stay with her. I'll be back." Tae walked back inside the restroom and sat me on the bench. He looked at the shattered window, down at me then turned, and ran out the rest room.
Damn, what the hell have I done? I thought as Latoya pulled strands of hair out of my face.
****
"All I wanna know is how the fuck he got in there! All the damn security; the damn police. How was he able to slip through all that and get to my damn wife?" Tamar yelled.
He was pacing back and forth across the bedroom floor; obviously highly upset from what I claimed happened today at Keylan's wake. With the police presence it would have been foolish of him to even try to do something to Brandon or to his brother and dad. I didn't want Brandon to die partially because everything he was doing was in reaction to what I've done to him. Playing on his feelings and not being persistent with my feelings for him played a factor; only telling him with my mouth that I didn't love him was contradictory being I opened my legs to him several times.
I wanted him to pay for trying to have Tamar locked up for a crime he'd committed, risking my son's life, and trying to ruin my relationship. I defin
itely wanted him to pay for what he'd done to Keylan and to Starr and her unborn, but I would rather him be locked up than dead.
"I'll holla at ya’ll tomorrow after the funeral. Don't call my fuckin’ phone unless it's an emergency!" Tamar pressed the end button on his phone and tossed it onto the dresser. He continued to pace the floor and wallow in his anger.
"Tae, I'm okay. Just chill out," I said.
"I'm not gonna chill out until the muthafucka’ is dead! That nigga bold than a muthafucka’ to show up there today!"
"What is killing him going to solve Tae? You've already been..."
"I really ain't trying to hear your Vengeance is mine said the Lord speech! That nigga violated you and me one too many times and gotta be dealt with. Just keep your damn mouth closed about it," Tamar walked over to the dresser, grabbed a Newport and fired it up.
I lie in silence praying that no one would ever find out the truth about what happened today in that rest room. Tamar would more than likely kill me if he knew the truth.
Maybe Brandon dying wouldn't be so bad knowing he would expose everything as soon as he had the moment.
45 TAMAR
Hustler no more
Bouncing back after Keylan's death is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. With time everything seemed to be a lil’ easier but most days it was still hard dealing with the fact that he was no longer here. I spent a good week trying to catch up to Brandon but failed; seemed he'd gone back to hiding in whatever hole he was hiding in.
For now I let go finding him and figured in due time he would get what was coming to him. I had bigger and better things to take care of. Money, Dmitri, and I were on our way to sale off 250 kilos of coke and it was going to be the last deal I was going to make. Normally I would distribute my product to the big dealers all over and let them distribute to their people but today would start a new day for me. I would no longer be the dealer slash hustler that everyone knows me as. I wasn't sure what I was going to venture off into after this but whatever it was I'm sure I'll be good at it. I had the club thing going with my bruh Taron who was very much enjoying it but it wasn't what I wanted to do. I would give myself time to think about it over the next few months.