My Nerdy Valentine

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  Maybe she should test that theory and find out what he knew about her. After she poured the creme de menthe carefully over the bar spoon to finish off the Evolution, she handed it to Tina and turned back to Leonard. "So here's a trivia question for you, Leonard. Where do I work?"

  He laughed. "Here. At Geekland."

  "I mean my other job."

  Leonard shrugged. "I dunno. Isn't it in some therapist's office? What, are you suggesting I need therapy?" "No. I just—"

  "Because I probably do, now that you mention it. I have an unhealthy fixation on this trivia game and I have no social life other than coming to this bar and hanging out with the likes of Bertrand. All those burgers and wings are putting on the weight, and I should exercise more. But as for knowing exactly where you work, I have to answer in the negative."

  "Okay. Thanks." She was satisfied it wasn't Leonard. He wouldn't be able to lie that easily.

  "Why did you want to know?"

  "It's not important. I—" She stopped speaking as she glanced over Leonard's shoulder and saw a man who looked a lot like William come through the front door. But it couldn't be William, unless this was some weird sort of coincidence. He didn't know where she worked.

  The man who looked like William had walked in with another guy who was about William's height and build, only he was blond instead of dark-haired. She was probably seeing things, imagining William around every corner because of what had happened today. The valentine had her freaked out.

  No, it was him, damn it! He didn't even have the good grace to look surprised to see her as he started toward the bar. Maybe he'd called Gloria and asked where Amanda worked. That explained his being here, except that she'd distinctly told him not to come. Fat lot of good that had done.

  "Hi, Amanda." He leaned on the bar.

  "Hello, William." She kept her tone neutral and didn't smile, not even a little bit. She wanted him to know he wasn't welcome.

  "Cute outfit."

  "Thanks."

  "Amanda!" called a guy on the far side of the bar. "Can you make me a Monkey Gland?"

  Happy for the distraction, she grabbed her Barmaster to double-check the ingredients. Her customers loved to see if they could stump her, but it didn't happen often anymore.

  "I'm sure you're not happy to see me here," William said.

  "Not particularly." She measured the gin and the orange juice into the cocktail shaker before reaching for the grenadine. Although she concentrated on making the drink, she couldn't eliminate that edgy awareness of William.

  He'd changed clothes. Instead of the suit and tie, he was wearing jeans and a gray, crew-necked sweater topped with a brown bomber jacket. The more casual clothes reduced his nerd factor, especially since he'd come in hatless. But his ears were pink, as if the wind had done a number on them.

  He looked worried. Obviously he knew he was treading on thin ice. "Amanda, I'd like you to meet my buddy, Justin Haskell. Justin, this is Amanda Rykowsky. We work in the same building."

  "Hi, Justin." She paused long enough to glance up at William's friend, but once again she resisted the urge to smile, although Justin seemed like a nice enough guy. Maybe William had brought him along so that she wouldn't land into him about disregarding her wishes.

  Justin gave her the sort of loopy grin that signaled he'd already had a few too many drinks tonight. "Nice to meet you, Amanda. On the way over Will told me you're the bartender here. Must be a fun place to work."

  "It is. But I'm curious how he knew that I was here." So William's friend called him Will. The nickname seemed to go with the casual clothes. "I don't recall mentioning it to him."

  "Actually, you did," William said. "I don't think you even realized you said the name of the place. And it's pure coincidence we're here."

  "I'm sure." She glared at him. "Pure coincidence. But now that you are here, are you planning to order, or are you just hanging out?"

  "I want one of the specialty drinks," Justin said. "This guy Tom from work is always talking about something called the Chi-Town thingamajig. He claims to have invented it."

  "Tom from Amherst Labs?" Tom was one of Amanda's favorite customers, and a brilliant chemist. She expected big things from him someday. He'd recently started dating a biology professor at Northwestern, and Amanda was happy for both of them.

  "He's the one," Justin said. "We work together. He keeps telling me I should try this place, and especially the drink he invented."

  "The Chi-Town Lakefront Breeze."

  "That's it! We'll have two of those. Will, I'm buying. Put your money away."

  Amanda strained the Monkey Gland into a chilled glass. "Be right back." As she delivered the drink on the other side of the bar, she realized that her breathing was different, as if William's presence were exciting her, somehow. Surely not.

  By the time she returned, Leonard had sidled up to Justin. "You're a chemist, huh? I'll bet you're pretty smart."

  "On good days. This isn't what you'd call a good day."

  "I'll bet even on a bad day you'd know the answer to some of these science questions." Leonard gestured toward the TV screen. "Like, for instance, how about that one?"

  "Trivia!" Justin's face lit up. "That's the other thing Tom was telling me about. I love trivia. Yeah! Punch number two. Better yet, let me see that thing." He appropriated the keypad from Leonard.

  William leaned closer to Amanda, bringing the scent of his Old Spice with him. "It wasn't my idea to come here."

  "Sure." She started making their drinks, keeping her eyes on her work.

  "Seriously. You heard Justin. He's wanted to come to Geekland for months."

  "Strange that after months of yearning for the place, he picked this very night to do it." She threw the twist of lemon in each martini glass with enough force to slop the vodka and curacao mixture over the edge. Stupid, stupid. She was only making more work for herself.

  "It was important for Justin to come tonight."

  "Oh, I see." She wiped off each glass, flipped two cocktail napkins on the bar and set the drinks squarely in the middle of each one. "And you simply had to tag along, is that it?"

  "I'm afraid so."

  "Of course you did, because you refuse to accept what I've told you. For all I know, this is your typical mode of behavior—wear a woman down until she finally agrees to go on a date with you."

  Justin turned. "Will, do you want a date with this gorgeous woman? You didn't tell me that."

  "No, I don't want a date with her," William said. "I mean, I would, but she's made it clear that she doesn't have time, so I'll respect that."

  "Hang on." Justin peered at Amanda. "You don't have time to date my good buddy Will?"

  "That's correct. And if you could convince him to stop pursuing me by sending secret valentines and showing up at my place of work, I'd be grateful."

  "Wow." Justin spun on his bar stool and eventually managed to end up facing William. "You've sent this woman secret valentines? I have to say, you didn't succeed in keeping them a secret." He leaned closer and spoke in a stage whisper. "She knows."

  "There was only one," William said. "And I didn't send it." "Oh." Justin winked at Amanda. "He didn't send it." "I didn't, damn it!"

  "There, there." Justin patted William on the shoulder. "No need to get upset because the lady's smart and guessed right away."

  William blew out a breath and picked up his drink. "I see a vacant table over in the corner."

  "We need to stay at the bar if we're going to play trivia, buddy."

  William looked trapped. "In that case, there are a couple of stools over there." He headed to the other side of the wraparound bar, as if he wanted to get as far away from Amanda as possible.

  "Okay." Justin picked up his drink. "I think I'm beginning to get the picture."

  "Hey, Amanda!" A girl playing trivia glanced up from her keypad. "Can you make a Harvard Cooler?"

  "Sure!" Amanda consulted her Barmaster.

  "That's a nifty gadget," Justin
said.

  "Comes in handy." She started on the cooler.

  "I'm sure you're a very busy lady."

  "That's right. I am."

  "But if you're letting that stand in the way of getting to know my best friend, Will, you're making the biggest mistake of your life. Take it from me, they don't come any better than William David Sloan."

  She stirred the powdered sugar into the apple brandy. "I'm sure he's a good friend." And you’re prejudiced.

  "He's the best. He didn't want to come here tonight, and now I see why. Coming here makes it look like he's chasing you."

  She stopped stirring and glanced up. "Yes, it does." Justin nodded. "Then I need to 'splain. You may have noticed that I'm a wee bit wiped."

  "I did notice."

  "The thing is, my fiancée broke up with me today. The wedding's off. So good ol Will indulged me in my wish to party at Geekland. He knew it would tick you off, a woman he has high regard for, but he did it, anyway."

  "Oh. That's too bad. About the wedding, I mean." Great. She'd been a bitch when it hadn't been called for.

  "I'll get over it. But I might not if I didn't have Will around to prop me up. That's the kind of guy he is, sacrificing his own welfare for a bud." Justin lifted his glass. "Top drawer, that Will." And then he walked over to the far side of the bar where William had already started punching in numbers on a keypad.

  Amanda sighed. So she owed William an apology. But if she made one, wouldn't that lead to a conversation, and more matchmaking on the part of Justin? Better to leave things as they were. At least this way she wouldn't be getting any more secret valentines.

  SEVEN

  But the next day, when Amanda came back from a quick lunch at Starbucks and opened her bottom drawer to put away her purse, there lay another envelope, this time in red. Her name was printed in block letters across the back of it, exactly like the first one.

  "Amanda, finally, a moment alone!" Gloria came barreling out of her office.

  Amanda slammed her drawer shut. "It has been kind of crazy today."

  "You're telling me. I love the money, but I could do with a less packed schedule, not to mention being behind because my massage ran overtime." Today Gloria wore a leopard-skin jumpsuit, but at least it didn't look as if it had come from an actual leopard.

  "This afternoon should be quieter," Amanda said. The red envelope waited in her drawer. In her mind's eye it had started to glow. She couldn't imagine how William had the nerve to send her another valentine after last night. He and Justin had relayed their drink orders through Tina and so Amanda hadn't spoken to either of them again. She had figured that was the end of that.

  "I shouldn't really complain." Gloria gave a wiggle that made the leopard spots dance. "My massage was primo. Thor is excellent!'

  "Your masseur is named Thor?"

  "Mm. Very blond and very Swedish. He's a closely guarded secret among a few select woman, and for a little extra, he'll massage whatever you want massaged." Gloria ran her tongue over her lips. "Fortunately his facility is soundproof."

  "Sounds ... interesting." Every time Amanda thought she'd heard it all, Gloria came up with some new and surprising revelation.

  "Maybe that's what I should give you as a graduation present, a session with Thor."

  Thai might be the most shocking revelation of all, that Gloria was planning to give her a graduation present. "You don't have to do that."

  "I know I don't, but the idea intrigues me. You're so uptight that even Thor might not be able to loosen you up, but at least I'd know the gift was unique. You won't get a duplicate."

  "I suppose not." Duplicates weren't a big concern of hers, anyway. Mavis would throw her a little party because Mavis loved any excuse to celebrate, and some of her working buddies at Geekland might buy her a drink or two, but Amanda wasn't expecting a mountain of gifts. As for relatives, she was down to a couple of cousins out in Oregon, and they didn't even have her current address, let alone know that she was in school.

  "That's settled then. I assume you finished the client evaluations?"

  "Yes." And because of that she was working on about three hours' sleep.

  "And you printed hard copies for the files?" "First thing this morning."

  "And how about that package to William? You mailed it, right?"

  "As it turned out, when I called to get his address, he offered to come down to the office and pick up the package."

  "He did? In that case, maybe I should have hung around. Oh, wait. That means he could have called me last night and didn't. Hmm." Gloria tapped her finger against her lips. "Maybe you bought the wrong presents."

  Amanda had no interest in making another trip to the G-Spot. "Or maybe he needs a little time to digest the significance of them." And maybe he's too busy giving me valentines to think about anything else.

  "Oh, well. Did you get his home address and phone number?"

  "Not exactly."

  Gloria's gaze sharpened. "He was reluctant?"

  "A little." Amanda tried for diplomacy. "After all, he only met you yesterday." He'd only met Amanda yesterday, too, and he was already tucking valentines in her desk. That boggled her mind. No man had ever been that persistent.

  "I'll give him a little time," Gloria said. "But not much. I'll start planning my next strategy. I'll need some nerdy ideas from you."

  Considering the valentine that had once again appeared in her bottom drawer, Amanda was more than willing to be helpful. She needed Gloria to distract this guy. "Guys like William usually like trivia."

  Gloria made a face. "Are you suggesting I get him Trivial Pursuit?"

  "I suppose not. He probably has all the versions, anyway."

  "I never could see the point. All those arcane little factoids about dry subjects nobody cares about. Now if they had trivia about sex ..."

  "Who knows? They might. Not necessarily a trivia game, but there might be books out there."

  Gloria's eyes lit up. "There might be! Go online and see what you can find and get back to me. If it looks promising enough, have them do a rush delivery."

  "I'll let you know."

  "Money is no object. I want to find the perfect thing to get his juices flowing, preferably before Valentine's Day. I—"

  She was interrupted as the door opened and Mimi Crutchfield walked in.

  "Dr. Tredway!" she wailed. "The most awful thing has happened!"

  "What's that?"

  "I... broke it."

  "Broke what, Mimi?"

  "Franklin's ... Franklin's schwanz!"

  "Really." The unflappable Gloria looked taken aback. "How did that happen?"

  "We were role-playing, like you said we should. He was the captive and I was the captor. So there he was lying on his back, with his schwanz sticking straight up, and I was under the bed, pretending to hide, but he knew I was there."

  "You were under the bed?" Gloria asked.

  "We have a really high bed."

  Amanda desperately wanted an errand so she wouldn't have to hear the rest of this bizarre story. "Sorry to interrupt, but I'm sure we're running low on stamps. I should head on over to the post office."

  Gloria waved her back down to her seat. "Not now. I think we're fine on stamps. Go on, Mimi."

  "So I crawled out from under the bed, creeping, creeping, slithering up onto the mattress on my belly. Oh, I had war paint on, by the way, and ... this next part is so hard to tell."

  "Tell it, Mimi. You need to purge yourself of the memory."

  Amanda would have to purge herself of this memory, and the sooner, the better. If only she could stick her fingers in her ears and hum. She was so changing banks.

  "Once I was up on the mattress, I yelled Geronimo! and leaped on him, planning to impale myself, you see, but I... missed the mark."

  "Oh, my." Gloria winced and covered her mouth.

  Amanda wanted to crawl under her desk.

  "There was this loud cracking sound and Franklin yelled. He kept on yelling, so I c
alled an ambulance. To cut to the chase, his schwanz is wrapped like a mummy, and he says he never wants to have sex again!"

  "It's because of the initial trauma," Gloria said. "Come into the office and we'll talk about this. I'll give you some ideas to soothe him. He'll get over this, but it will take some intensive therapy." She took Mimi's arm and guided her into the office.

  "I'll do anything, Dr. Tredway. Anything at all."

  "We'll start by finding you a short, tight nurse's uniform," Gloria said. Then she closed the door.

  Amanda sank back against her chair in relief. She had no desire to know what came after the uniform suggestion. Besides, with Gloria safely closed in her office with Mimi, Amanda could find out what was in the red envelope.

  Opening her bottom drawer, she took it out and held it to her nose to see if it smelled like Old Spice. Not really. But a valentine William had handled for only a few minutes might not pick up his scent. The lack of Old Spice aroma meant nothing one way or the other.

  Slowly she pulled out the card. On the front was a cartoon guy with a smirk on his face. The message said, Hey, Valentine, we need to talk. Holding her breath, she opened the card. The inside showed the same guy in bed. Above him was the question Your pillow or mine ? The card was signed as before, Your Secret Valentine.

  The first valentine had been vaguely sexual, but this one was more explicit. Looking at it, she felt warm and disoriented, as if she'd had two shots of brandy on an empty stomach. Maybe William had a split personality that allowed him to seem like a slightly boring nerd on the outside, but inside he was a mass of raging hormones.

  The image of William's raging hormones wasn't entirely unpleasant, and that scared her. She'd told him that his campaign wouldn't work, and she intended to keep that promise. If this valentine had her thinking of William lounging against the bar looking semisexy, instead of William coming up the stairs wearing a hat with earflaps and looking totally nerdy, then she was in trouble.

  The phone rang, and she picked it up while still staring at the valentine. "Dr. Tredway's office. How can I help you?"