My Nerdy Valentine

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  "Good point," Mavis said. "Set it down, slow and easy. Don't try any funny stuff."

  "I'd do it if I was you," Chester said, coming up behind Mavis in his pajamas. "That's her great-granddaddy's gun, and she's dying to find out if it still works. She might pull the trigger out of pure curiosity."

  "It's not fair," Louise wailed. "She was trying to seduce my Harvey."

  "Yeah, right," Mavis said. "That's why he had to gas her and tie her up. Now put it down before I get the urge to test-drive Granddaddy's thirty-thirty."

  With a moan of frustration, Louise laid the shotgun on the frozen ground. "I wanted to shoot them."

  "And I wanted to shoot you, but sometimes we don't get what we want. We have to delay gratification. That was always an important lesson for my third-graders."

  Amanda was so fascinated by the sight of Mavis toting a gun that she hadn't noticed Harvey reaching for something under the seat. But Will had. He lunged at Harvey and wrenched the tire iron out of his grip.

  "Thanks for the backup, Will," Mavis said.

  "No problem."

  Amanda couldn't stop staring at Harvey and Louise. To think she'd considered them just another couple who paraded in and out of Gloria's office. Although they were temporarily subdued, she wouldn't relax until they were in handcuffs and headed for jail. "We need the cops here ASAP. Who has a cell phone?"

  Will shrugged. "No telling where I dropped mine along the way."

  "I don't have mine," Mavis said.

  Chester threw up both hands. "I never bought one."

  Amanda glanced at Louise. "You know what? I'll bet Louise has a cell phone. Will, want to check?"

  "You're gonna use my phone to call the cops to arrest me?"

  "Sounds about right." Mavis pushed the barrel of the rifle up against Louise's jacket again. "Now don't move while Will gets that phone."

  Will found the phone inside Louise's jacket and dialed 911. "Anybody else we want to call?"

  "I want my lawyer," Louise grumbled.

  "Sorry," Will said. "That won't be happening until much, much later."

  Amanda couldn't resist. "See if she has her therapist on speed dial."

  Will glanced at Amanda and a faint smile crossed his lips. "Yeah, let's see." He consulted the contact list. "What do you know? She has Gloria's cell number right here." He punched the button and handed the phone to Amanda.

  When Gloria answered, Amanda relished telling her what had happened.

  There was a moment of shocked silence. "I'll be right there," Gloria said. "We're only a block or two from there. Justin thought we should check on you, so we were on our way over. See you soon."

  Amanda closed the flip-top phone. "She'll be here any minute."

  "You bitch!" Louise's mouth curved in a snarl of contempt. "You think you have everybody dancing to your tune, don't you? Well, I'm not through with you. I'll get you sooner or later, and I'll—"

  "That's enough!" His expression thunderous, Will stepped in front of Louise.

  "I'll tell you when it's enough, mister. She thinks she's so hot, but I—"

  "Louise." Gloria stepped from a cab in a swirl of mink. Justin followed close behind.

  Like a little kid caught stealing cookies, Louise cowered at the sight of Gloria striding toward her. "Wha-at?"

  "Remember our little talk about boundaries?"

  Louise's shoulders slumped. "I guess so."

  "And what did we say about boundaries?"

  "To ... uh ... respect them?"

  "Have you done that tonight?"

  Louise sighed. "No, I haven't, Dr. Tredway, but your receptionist was trying to steal my Harvey." "Did Harvey tell you that?" "Yes."

  "Is Harvey a reliable source?"

  "Maybe not. But. Dr. Tredway, they—"

  "It's my professional opinion that you and Harvey need more help with this issue of boundaries." Gloria glanced at the shotgun holes in the Mercedes. "Quite a bit of help, actually. We'll see that you get it."

  Louise nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Tredway."

  "Now let's all get more comfortable and wait for the nice people to come and straighten everything out. Amanda, you look cold. Justin, give her your coat."

  Once they all made it back to the apartment, Will convinced Amanda that the frozen microwavable dinner that Mavis brought over would be adequate first aid for the bruise on the side of his face. A couple of teeth felt loose, but he didn't mention those. They'd firm up in a few days.

  He also managed to talk everyone into leaving so he could be alone with Amanda. Even Gloria agreed. She had to be feeling a shitload of guilt over this whole episode. Once the police had taken Louise and Harvey away, Gloria had suffered a minor meltdown.

  Interestingly enough, Justin had been the only one able to comfort her. Will thought he might have to reevaluate his position on that relationship. After tonight's events, it seemed to Will that Gloria needed Justin almost as much as Justin needed her.

  So everyone was coupling up. And Will needed to have a heart-to-heart with the woman who had captured his. She might not like what he had to say, but it was the only decision he could live with.

  He'd brought his stuff over from Chester's, and Amanda might think that was because he was moving back in. Quite the opposite. And a temporary separation wouldn't work— they'd both try to find ways around it.

  She'd made coffee and hauled out the last two Ding-Dongs. They'd taped cardboard over the hole in the living room window, so the apartment was warm again, but not exactly cozy. The violent memories would have to fade before the place felt like home to Amanda, and he hated to add more sadness. But now was the time.

  His duffel sat next to his chair. Reaching down, he pulled a red envelope out of it. "I wanted you to have the real thing."

  She opened the valentine with a smile that trembled around the edges. "You could have waited a couple of days."

  "I wanted you to have it now." The valentine had a single red rose on the front. Inside it said, I'll remember you forever, Valentine. He'd signed it Will, resisting the urge to add the word love.

  She reached across the little dining table and took his hand. "I still can't believe you hid out in Chester's apartment so you could come to my rescue."

  "I couldn't leave you here alone." His whole body ached from what he'd been through, but his whole heart ached worse as he thought of what was coming. He drank his coffee too fast and scalded his tongue.

  "I think Gloria's dropped her objections to us."

  He nodded. "I think so, too."

  "So, what do you say? Can we make it work?" The light in her blue eyes told him that she expected him to say yes.

  He would rather take a beating than say it, but he had to. "I don't think so."

  Her hand stiffened in his. "Why not?"

  "You know why. I wouldn't want to keep you from your studies, but we've discovered neither of us are very good at delayed gratification." He tried to make a joke out of it. "I guess we both needed Mavis as our third-grade teacher."

  She looked stricken. "We can do better! Maybe if we made up a chart, and marked when we could afford the time. You know, schedule it, so that—"

  "Schedule our sex?" If he hadn't been so filled with grief, he would have laughed. "Amanda, do you remember how we are together?"

  "I know, that we'll develop better discipline. We'll—"

  "No. I know myself, and I think I know you pretty well by now, too. There's one way to guarantee that you'll graduate with honors, keep that spot waiting for you at Harvard, and become all you want to be. I have to butt out of your life."

  "I don't want you to!"

  "I know." He gave her hand a squeeze. "But I'm doing it, anyway." His heart broke as he pulled his hand from hers and stood. "Goodbye." He couldn't look at her, couldn't bear to see the tears that he knew would be there. Grabbing his coat and his duffel bag, he walked out of her apartment, out of her life.

  THIRTY

  For several weeks, Amanda allowed herself to hat
e Will for being so damned noble. Then she went through a period when she tried to convince herself he must not have cared very much if he'd let her go so easily. That argument didn't last long, because she kept thinking of the look in his green eyes when he'd left her that night. He'd looked as horrible as she'd felt.

  Basically she had only herself to blame for laying out her program so well in the beginning. The worst part was—Will had been right. If he'd hung around, she wouldn't have studied very much. Without him there, she poured all her sexual frustration and longing for Will into her class work, and her grades showed it.

  Every day she expected to run into him in the hallway going to or from Gloria's office. She practiced what she'd say and imagined what he'd say back. Those imaginary conversations changed as her mood changed.

  Amazingly, a real meeting with Will never happened. He had to be deliberately avoiding her. In that case, she could assume that the breakup had hurt him as much as it had hurt her, and he couldn't deal with only casual contact.

  They'd never had a real shot, anyway. If they'd planned to reunite after the semester was over, reason told her he'd want marriage. A guy like Will deserved a family, too, and he couldn't be expected to delay that gratification for an unknown number of years. She wasn't ready to commit to motherhood. She had too much to do first.

  Finally she arrived at her last day of working for Gloria. Graduation was at ten the next morning, and Gloria couldn't be there because Amanda had given her only two tickets to Mavis and Chester. Gloria was meeting them afterward, though, for lunch and a party at Geekland.

  Justin was coming to the party, too. He and Gloria were inseparable these days, which meant Amanda saw him often. They were each careful not to mention Will's name.

  As Amanda cleaned out her desk, Gloria appeared with a gaily wrapped package. "Here." She plopped it in the middle of Amanda's desk. "I know this won't make up for sabotaging your relationship with Will, but it's the best I can do."

  Amanda stared at her. Gloria had never mentioned the breakup, and Amanda would never have guessed Gloria felt any guilt whatsoever. "You didn't sabotage us," she said.

  "Of course I did. If I hadn't made it clear I didn't want you around as competition, you'd still be together."

  "No. we wouldn't. We both knew after that wild night of the break-in that you wouldn't care if we kept seeing each other. You'd obviously bonded with Justin."

  A dreamy look came into Gloria's eyes. "I did. And I have."

  Because it was her last day, Amanda decided to be bold. "You should marry him, Gloria."

  Gloria snapped out of her trance. "What made you say that?"

  "I've been thinking about it for weeks. I finally decided to say something."

  "Oh. For a minute there, I thought you might be psychic."

  "Nope." If she were psychic, she'd know what was going on with Will, but she had no idea. "Why, are you considering the M word?"

  "Just last night, as a matter of fact. I expect it's because you're leaving and I'll... oh, hell, I'll miss you like crazy."

  To Amanda's surprise, she got a little choked up. "I’ll... miss you, too." She'd never thought she'd speak those words, but there they were.

  Gloria cleared her throat. "Anyway, last night I decided that it was time for me to admit that I'd found something special with Justin. I'd told you that I would never get married, but I figured after you left, you'd never know if I went back on my word."

  "You wouldn't invite me to the wedding?" Now she was hurt.

  "Honey. I wasn't planning to invite anyone. It would be too embarrassing. But now that the secret's out, I might as well make it a big bash, huh?"

  "Might as well." Amanda saw only one problem with that. Justin would ask Will to be his best man, which meant she'd see Will at this wedding, whenever it took place.

  "So you're saying it really wasn't my fault that you and Will broke up? That's a huge relief."

  "It wasn't your fault."

  "Then whose was it?"

  "Mine."

  Gloria sighed. "Still choosing your studies over your love life. Then I'm glad I got you what I did. Call it a single girl's survival kit."

  Amanda untied the red bow and lifted the lid of the sturdy box. She wasn't surprised by what she found inside. She counted at least three different kinds of vibrators, lubricants, a calendar of nude men, and a couple of videos. At the rate her life was going, she might need all those things.

  "Don't go giving any of that away, either. I was going to give you a massage with Thor, but that's only an hour of pleasure. This could last you for years."

  "I won't give any of it away, I promise." Amanda closed up the box. "Thank you, Gloria. I'm sure it's exactly what I'll need."

  "I wouldn't doubt it. No telling what you'll find over there at Harvard. I know they'll have plenty of nerds, but you can't expect them to be like Justin and Will. Those two are special. Not to bring up a sore subject, but they are."

  "I know." Amanda sighed. "Bad timing on my part."

  Amanda woke on the day of graduation expecting to feel joyous that she'd finally reached her goal. She felt plenty of satisfaction, but joy was elusive. The last time she'd felt joy had been . . . with Will. And not only because of the outstanding orgasms, either. They'd clicked in a way she hadn't with any other person. He had the potential to be that much-talked-about combination, both a lover and a best friend.

  So if that was the case, why in hell was she running off to Harvard? Was the prestige of getting her graduate degree there worth losing somebody like Will? Once she'd asked herself the question, the answer was obvious.

  She could get her graduate degree right here in Chicago, and go into practice here. Why had she thought an Ivy League school would make so much difference? Will made the difference. With him, her life glittered. Without him, her life was perfectly fine, but a lot less shiny.

  As for marriage and kids, plenty of people managed both a career and children. She might not get her graduate degree as fast, or build her practice in record time, but she'd be happy. Finally she realized that she would never be like her mother. For one thing, she'd have Will, someone who supported her dreams.

  Dressing quickly in the casual outfit she planned to wear under her cap and gown, she gulped down an energy drink and ran to catch a bus down to Will's office. She had just enough time to see him before she had to be on campus for the ceremony.

  Walking into the building felt strange, because she hadn't thought she'd be back here after cleaning out her desk yesterday. She felt a little bit like an interloper. Her desk didn't belong to her anymore. Gloria had hired a temp for the summer and would have a new intern in the fall.

  But she wasn't going to visit Gloria. Passing the office where she'd spent such a tumultuous few months, she continued on to the offices of Cooper and Scott.

  The receptionist put down her mug of coffee when Amanda walked in. "How can I help you?"

  "I need to see Will... uh, William Sloan. It's urgent."

  "Oh, I'm sorry. William doesn't work here anymore. Perhaps one of our other brokers can be of assistance."

  The news took a few seconds to register. "How... how long ago did he quit?"

  "Let me think. It's been about three weeks, now."

  Three weeks? She couldn't believe that he'd been physically gone from this building for three weeks and she hadn't somehow sensed it. She was so far from psychic it was pathetic.

  Despair threatened to swamp her, but she made one last attempt. "Did he move to another firm in Chicago?" She wouldn't have time to go there, now. Maybe she shouldn't go at all, if he'd leave the building without telling her. She could decide that after the ceremony.

  "No, William has left town. But Jonathan Creighton is an excellent broker, if you'd like me to page him."

  "No. No, thanks." Stunned, she turned to go.

  "Are you sure?"

  "Absolutely sure." He'd left Chicago without saying a word. No matter how many times she tried to get her min
d around that, she found it impossible. Had she meant so little to him, then, or so much? Regardless of the answer to the question, he was lost to her.

  Will stood still as the crowd of graduates leaving the ceremony eddied around him. He hoped to hell he wouldn't miss Amanda. Three times he'd thought he'd spotted her, only to have the blonde turn around and be somebody else. What evil, lost-in-the-mists-of-time impulse had decreed that all graduates wear the same black robes and mortarboards?

  As it turned out, she found him. If he'd reasoned out that she might, he would have worn red, even if it was a bad color on him. The green polo shirt probably blended in with the grass he was standing on.

  "Will?" She approached cautiously. Before she reached him, Gloria swooped in and gave her a hug. "Congratulations! This deserves a round of Chi-Town Lakefront Breezes, and I'm buying!"

  "I'll take you up on that." Chester walked up behind Gloria.

  "And then you'll buy a round, right?" Mavis linked her arm through Chester's. Then she glanced over at Will. "Will! I didn't know you'd be here."

  Gloria spun around. "Will? What are you doing here?"

  Justin stepped into the group. "I'm probably the only one who knows, and I was sworn to secrecy." He gave Amanda a hug. "Congrats. We'll all meet you at Geekland. It's up to you if you want to bring that guy over there, the one with the hopeful look in his eyes."

  Amanda stole another glance at Will. She wasn't convinced he looked hopeful.

  "Come on, everybody," Justin said. "Let's make ourselves scarce."

  Throughout the commotion of their leaving, Amanda continued to stare at Will. "They said you'd left town."

  "They said right." He waited until Justin had herded everyone away before stepping closer. "I left three weeks ago."

  "Without telling me?" Her voice quivered, and she hated that, but what he'd done seemed like such a betrayal.

  "You were finishing up, taking finals, doing all those last-minute requirements. I wasn't about to get in your way."

  "But you should have known I'd want to know!"

  "Well, now you know."

  "Three weeks after the fact!" She was losing control of herself, and people were staring, but she didn't care. "Why bother? Why not just disappear, never to be heard from again?"