Man Enough

by Beth Burnett

  “Aw. That’s sweet. And now you’ve been together for five years. There are happy endings.”

  Steve smiles. “You make your own happy ending, Davey. You and Danny are right for each other. You love each other. Now you have to do the work.”

  “Do you think you two are soul mates?”

  Erik shrugs. “I don’t know if I believe in soul mates. We love each other and we are both willing to do the work to keep this relationship going for a lifetime. That’s commitment and respect, not some magical, mystical soul mate.”

  Steve nods. “I agree. There are billions of people in the world. It’s juvenile to think that there is just one who can make you happy for the rest of your life. The key is to be happy with yourself, then find someone with whom you want to share that happiness.”

  “I want to share my happiness with Danny. I want to do things that make him smile.”

  Steve grins. “Then that, my love, is exactly what you should do.”

  I spend the rest of the day mulling over their words and by the time Danny comes to get me, I’m past my moment of anxiety.

  “Oh, Danny, my darling,” Steve calls as he walks in the room.

  Danny smiles. “Hi, gorgeous.”

  Steve flutters his hands around his face. “Oh, he called me gorgeous!”

  Danny shakes his head, “I was talking to Erik!”

  “Ha!” Erik gives Danny a high five.

  “That’s it. See you guys around eight.” I take Danny’s hand and pull him out of the office.

  “What, no kiss hello?” He’s laughing as I stride out to the car.

  “Not until we’re in the car with the doors locked and the windows up!”

  Danny sees me into the car and walks around to his side. The moment he closes the door, I’m in his arms, kissing his desperately. He kisses me back, hard, then pulls away and laughs. “Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?”

  I lightly kiss along his jaw line, running my fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and sighs. “Never mind. I don’t care what brought it on. Just keep doing it.”

  “I was worrying about us today.”

  “Why were you worrying?” He pulls back a little, looking concerned.

  “I wondered if we were moving too fast, if it was really possible for us to be in love with each other after such a short time.”

  “Davey,” Danny says, gently lifting my face until our eyes meet. “I know my heart. I knew it almost from the moment I met you.”

  “So you’re telling me you’re not at all afraid?”

  “Are you kidding? I’m terrified. I’m terrified that you’ll change your mind about me or decide you don’t want to be with me. I’m terrified when you’re away from me for more than five minutes. I worry that something will happen to you, or that you’ll meet the world’s sexiest man.” He laughs slightly. “Yeah, I’m terrified.”

  “Danny, don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid of me. I know my own heart, too.”

  He pulls me in tight and for a second I can’t breathe. “I hope so, Davey.”

  We kiss for a few more minutes before we drive to his house.

  “Your bag is in the bedroom. Do you want to get ready before dinner or after?”

  “I’d like to shower before dinner.”

  He kisses me on the nose. “Go ahead. I’ll get dinner prepped.”

  I move towards the stairs. “Unless,” I say, turning back to look at him, “you want to come shower with me.”

  He stares at me for a second, his eyes unreadable. “I want to, but I can’t. I have stuff to do for dinner.”

  “Danny?”

  He looks away. “It’s all right, sweetheart. You go ahead.”

  “Danny?” My voice is firmer this time.

  “Davey.” He doesn’t look up.

  “Danny, are you ashamed of something on your body? Are you embarrassed to get naked with me?”

  He looks up at me, his face serious. “Yes.”

  I walk back to him and take him in my arms. He leans his head down on my shoulder and breathes against my neck. “I’m afraid you’ll be…” He pauses, looking for the right word. “I’m afraid you’ll be disgusted.”

  “Danny, I don’t care what scars you have or what you might think it wrong with your body. I fell in love with your beautiful eyes, your warm smile, and your veggie stir fry. I think I can be trusted to see you naked.”

  He lifts his head and kisses me warmly on the mouth. “Davey, I’ve said before that you have an amazing soul and I was right. But I’m not ready yet. Tomorrow, when we have a lot of uninterrupted time together, I promise we’ll get naked. We’ll stay naked all day and night. I’ll wander around the house doing all sorts of naked things until you beg me to put clothes on.”

  I laugh, punching him on the arm. “That’s fine. I can wait until tomorrow. But may I remind you that you have already seen me naked.” I give him a last kiss and turn away. When I reach the stairs, I look at him over my shoulder. “And you’re about to again.” I take off my shirt and throw it over my shoulder. As I start walking up the stairs, I unhook my bra and drop it on the stairs. A few steps up and my jeans are on the ground. When I reach the top of the stairs, I turn around to see him standing at the bottom, holding my shirt in his hands. He grins up at me. “You can’t take me that far and not finish,” he says.

  “I sure can.” I turn the corner and disappear. Behind the wall, I strip out of my panties and throw them back down the stairs. Danny growls at the bottom of the stairs. I peek around the corner. He’s still standing there, staring up at me. “Davey?”

  “Danny?”

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  I look at him for a second, half-tempted to make a crack about him needing his eyes checked. “Danny, I can tell by the way you look at me.”

  He smiles and I go into the bathroom. When I finish showering, I rummage through Danny’s drawers, looking for a t-shirt. I find an old t-shirt from an 80’s Clash concert. I think I just fell more in love. I slide the t-shirt over my head, opting to wear nothing else to dinner. I tiptoe down the stairs and sneak into the living room. Danny is relaxed in the arm chair, eyes closed. He’s listening to Frank Sinatra. I settle onto his lap and he puts his arms around me without opening his eyes. “Danny, are you okay?”

  He nods and snuggles me in closer. “I just want to hold you here for a minute.”

  I lean against him, resting my head on his shoulder. He rubs my back, my shoulder, my neck. His lips gently nuzzle against my face. “We have a couple of hours until we need to go.”

  His arms tighten around me. “Just rest here with me for a minute, then we’ll eat dinner.”

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m all right. Let’s just relax for a minute.”

  I let my head rest completely against his shoulder, sliding my body down a little so I can recline. His breath is warm and even against my hair. I let one of my hands rest lightly on his chest, gently stroking him through his shirt.

  “Davey.”

  I startle and jump. “What? I wasn’t sleeping!”

  Danny laughs. “I didn’t say you were. Though you were snoring an awful lot for someone who wasn’t sleeping.”

  I relax back against his body. “I don’t snore.”

  “My apologies. You were breathing loudly through your nose.”

  “Was I really snoring?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It was adorable.”

  “Hmm. How long have I been asleep?”

  “About forty minutes.”

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Your legs must be crushed! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “Because you looked so beautiful and it felt so good to have you sleeping in my arms. And my legs are not crushed. But if we want to eat dinner before we go out, we should probably think about it.”

  “Did I make you ruin your dinner?”

  “I have a black bean stew in
the crock pot on warm. It’s fine.”

  I stretch and yawn. Danny puts his hands under the t-shirt and strokes my stomach. “This shirt looks good on you — I think you should keep it.”

  “Are you sure? I bet it has sentimental value.”

  “Because it’s so old?” he asks, laughing.

  “What is it with men and old shirts?”

  “Are you telling me you don’t have any clothes that should have gone in the trash long ago?”

  “Nothing as disreputable as this!”

  “I like you in a disreputable shirt. Especially with nothing underneath it.” He pokes a finger into one of the holes in the shirt.

  “Stop it,” I shriek. “I’m ticklish there.”

  “Come on, up and at ’em.”

  He lifts me off of his lap, then spanks my butt when we’re both standing. I spin around and pretend to glare at him. He laughs and raises his hands. “Don’t leave that cute little butt exposed if you don’t want it spanked!”

  He teases me throughout dinner. I’m glad to see his mood has gotten better. I don’t know how to convince him that scars won’t bother me. I guess all I can do is show him when he finally feels comfortable enough to let me see him. It’s not like I have a perfect body. I mean, I wonder if he has any idea how hard it was for me to get naked in front of him. I wish I was slender, or really fit, but I’m not. Yet, I trusted him enough to let him see me fully nude.

  After dinner, I put on a red dress and low heels. I smooth down my hair and apply minimal makeup. Danny puts on dark jeans, a white button front shirt and a red tie. “Oh, we look like a power couple.”

  He grins. “You look amazing. I’m just trying to keep up.”

  “Your butt looks adorable in those jeans.”

  “Really?” He turns around and wiggles it. “All of this could be yours!”

  “Come on. If you don’t stop tempting me, we won’t make it to the bar.”

  He leers at me. “That would be a tragedy.”

  “Come on, stud.”

  We drive downtown and cruise down the block near Frankie and Betty’s. Andy and several other people are already sitting at a big table on the patio. We drive down a side street, looking for a parking place. Finally, Danny deftly slides into a parallel parking place that I wouldn’t have even considered. I wink at him. “Smooth parking.”

  He straightens his tie. “Thank you, it’s a gift.”

  He walks around to my side of the car and opens my door. “My lady.”

  We walk arm in arm down the street to the bar. I’m joyous. The weather is warm, but with a hint of coolness in the breeze. Danny looks gorgeous. I look pretty good, for me. We feel right … just right. Danny is smiling at me, he feels it, too. We reach the bar and Andy jumps over the fence separating the fence and the street. She gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” she says.

  “It’s been a while,” I agree.

  Danny holds out his hand. “Sorry I’ve been keeping her to myself. I’ll try to be less selfish.”

  Andy nods. “Tonight, we’ll share her.” She turns and winks at me. “You look hot in that red dress. Try not to make my date jealous.”

  I look over her shoulder to see a petite blond staring at us. She looks about twenty-two, with bright red lipstick and what could be a permanent pout. I raise my eyebrows at Andy. “Alice?”

  “Who? Oh, no. Yeah. No, that was last week.”

  Danny laughs. “I know a lot of guys who wish they were as good with women as you are.”

  Andy grins. “Just my natural charm, I guess.” She looks at me. “Davey, you all right?”

  No, I’m not all right. I’ve just seen my ex-boyfriend, Joe the dick, walking down the sidewalk. He is on a collision course with us and other than jumping over the fence into the relative safety of the gay bar, I’m screwed. Andy looks over her shoulder to see what has caught my eye and lets out a little snarl.

  “What’s going on?” Danny is looking from one of us to the other, then notices Joe. “Who is that?” he whispers to me. I don’t have time to answer before Joe is nearly upon us.

  “God bless my soul!” he bellows in a ridiculously hearty voice. “If it isn’t Andy and Davey.”

  Andy half turns, blocking most of my body with hers. “Hello, Joe,” she deadpans.

  I do nothing but nod. Joe looks at Danny.

  “And who is this?” He holds out his hand to Danny. Danny shakes it without smiling.

  “Hello. My name is Daniel Walker.”

  “Daniel Walker,” Joe intones. “So pleased to meet you. My name is Joseph Meyer.”

  Danny nods. “If you’ll excuse us, we were on our way to…”

  “Nonsense,” Joe interrupts. “I haven’t seen Davey here in two years. We should at least take a few minutes to get reacquainted.” He looks down at Danny’s hand, which has taken mine. “Aw, how sweet. Are you Davey’s boyfriend?”

  Danny nods again, putting his arm across my shoulder.

  Joe smiles. “Somehow, Davey, I always thought when I was done with you, you’d end up with this dyke.”

  Danny’s fist flashes past my face and connects hard with Joe’s jaw. Joe rocks back for half a second, then grabs Danny by the collar. Before he can throw a punch, Andy gut punches Joe, then kicks him in the balls. He lets out a grunt and drops to one knee. Andy quickly pulls Joe’s arm around behind his back and wrenches it up. She grins at me. “You know, Davey, I wanted to cut off his balls when you two broke up, but you wouldn’t let me. Now that he’s started a fist fight with us, I think I have a good excuse.”

  Steve, Erik and a friend of Andy’s named Chuck have jumped over the fence by now. Steve and Erik are pretty normal sized guys, like Danny, but Chuck is a hugely muscled leather man who happens to be wearing a t-shirt that looks like it is about to burst from the pressure of his chest muscles. Andy releases Joe and he stands up, rubbing his arm. He looks around at the group, then straight at me.

  “It’s not worth it to get into a fight over this fat bitch!”

  Danny’s fist shoots out again and connects with Joe’s face. Then, he throws himself on Joe, knocking him to the ground. He throws two more punches before Steve and Erik pull him off. Andy and Chuck jump between him and Joe. I give Joe a hard kick in the crotch again while he’s down. Danny struggles against Steve and Erik. “Do not speak to her like that again or I will kill you!” His face is bright red and he looks like he’s about to have a stroke. Andy touches my arm.

  “Why don’t you three take Danny inside? Chuck and I will take care of this.” She gestures offhandedly at Joe.

  Steve and Erik and I maneuver Danny around the corner and into the side entrance of Frankie and Betty’s. By the time we’ve threaded through the crowd and out to the patio, Joe is gone and Andy and Chuck are back at the table. Andy stands up as we come out and smiles at Danny. She layers a couple of napkins and grabs a handful of ice out of her drink. “Put this on your knuckles,” she tells Danny, kindly. “I don’t imagine they feel great right now.”

  We all sit and I hold the ice pack on Danny’s hand. He glances at me. “Are you pissed at me?”

  “Are you kidding? You punched Joe. A few times.” I kiss him lightly on the mouth. “My hero.”

  Andy laughs. “I appreciate you defending my honor,” she says. “Though, I do find it a bit amusing. But I really appreciate you defending Davey. That dick doesn’t need to speak to her like that, ever.”

  Danny nods. “I wanted to kill him.”

  I run my fingers through his hair and kiss him again.

  Steve throws back his head and laughs. “I have to admit that I was absolutely riveted to my seat when you threw a punch at a man who looked to be about six foot eight and fully muscled.”

  Danny shakes his head ruefully. “I wasn’t thinking about the odds.” He grins sheepishly.

  Erik nods towards Tim, Chuck’s partner. “And where were you when your hubby was jumping into the
fray?”

  Tim laughs. “Please. Look at Chuck. Do you think he needs any help against one guy? Besides, Andy was already there. She had it. Chuck was only there for show.”

  “By the way,” I add. “This is Danny. Danny, that’s Tim and Chuck.”

  Danny smiles at each of them. “Nice to meet you. I’d offer to shake hand, but I might cry if you squeezed too hard.”

  Chuck laughs. “Nice to meet you, too. That was a completely respectable punch.”

  Everyone chuckles. Steve pats Danny on the shoulder. “You can throw a punch for me anytime you want, big boy.”

  Danny smiles at Steve. “You name it, Steve. I’ll protect you.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.” I turn to Andy’s date. She petulantly looks back at me, then looks away again. Andy laughs.

  “This is Jana. She doesn’t have any social skills, apparently.”

  “Fuck you, Andy,” the girl spits out.

  Chuck raises his eyebrows and mutters, “Obviously conversation isn’t the attraction in that relationship.”

  We’re saved from a response by the arrival of Lynne and Leah. The UPS girl isn’t in sight.

  I stand up and kiss my mother. Andy leans over and hugs her while I greet Lynne. The whole table shifts a bit to make room for everyone. Chuck pulls out the seat next to him and asks Leah to come sit there.

  “Leah, I’ve heard a lot about you,” he says. “Do you want another child? I can be adopted.”

  She giggles and pats his arm. “I have more than enough love to go around.”

  Steve smiles. “Thank God. I’d hate for you to throw me over for this one, just because he’s better looking than I am!”

  Leah shakes her head. “You’re both gorgeous. And I would never throw you over.”

  I lean back in my chair, watching Leah work the crowd. She really is a charming woman. Despite her weirdness, or perhaps because of it, she draws people to her. She’s like the mother of all misfits. Anyone who falls the slightest bit outside of the “norm” of society falls under the protection and care of Leah. I smile at her across the table.

  “Danny!” Leah looks concerned. “Did something happen to your hand?”