Never and Always

by Khardine Gray

  “Hey, babe,” he said with a softness that melted her heart.

  Now that he was right there, inches away from her, she couldn’t help but meet his blue gaze, and doing so gave her a little sense of hope. It was his friendly face and that look of adoration he always had when he looked at her.

  He wasn’t shouting at her or reminding her of how incredibly stupid she’d been. He was just being Nick.

  “Hi,” she responded in a small voice.

  “It’s been awhile.” He smiled, revealing his gorgeous dimples.

  “Glenn never told me you were back.” She decided on small talk because she wanted to distract from the situation at hand, but her hands started shaking.

  He noticed and took both her hands into his.

  More warmth and comfort. That was what she instantly felt, again from a simple touch. It was what she needed. She nodded slowly, trying not to cry anymore. This was so not the way she imagined seeing him again after five years.

  “I left the Marines two years ago,” he explained.

  She raised her brows, wondering why Glenn hadn’t told her that. Maybe he thought she knew.

  “Really? I didn’t know. I feel terrible.” The more she thought of it the more apparent it became that it was ridiculous she didn’t know. Nick was practically a part of the family. Had she been so wrapped up in the spa that she’d glossed over knowledge of his return?

  As she looked at him she didn’t think it was possible that she’d been told and hadn’t acknowledged it. This was Nick. As much as she’d accepted that anything happening between them would only exist in her imagination, she still had the same feelings for him. The same attraction that she couldn’t resist or tame.

  She would definitely remember being told he was back.

  “Yeah, and I’ve been hanging out here.” A slow easy smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

  “I didn’t know.” She shook her head.

  Maybe everyone just forgot to tell her. The last couple of years had been crazy. Her parents had moved to Hong Kong so most of her spare time was spent there, and when she came back to Chicago it was for a few days at a time. She’d see Glenn but stay with Claire, her best friend from high school, only because Glenn visited her in Florida often and they saw each other when they went to see their parents.

  That must have been why she didn’t know Nick was back and actually living here.

  “Don’t worry about it, Mia.”

  She held his gaze as the misery took hold of her again. “I really messed up this time, didn’t I.” She bit the inside of her lip to keep from crying out.

  Glenn was furious, but she knew when her parents found out they’d be the same. She knew Glenn could blow up at times, but she was actually counting on him to be the one who would help her.

  Her father was going to go mad. Just like he did when she used her trust fund money to set up her business. He was an investment banker, a person who was fully clued up on everything, so he would see her stupidity straight away. His first attack, like Glenn’s, would be about writing the passwords down.

  When her shoulders shook and she broke down, she knew any control she had was gone.

  Nick pulled her into his arms, taking her in and holding her, soothing the pain she felt from her loss. Soothing away the cloud of despair that covered her mind.

  “It’s okay. I got you,” he whispered against her ear as she clutched onto his shirt, holding on against the weakness that engulfed her. “I got you, Mia.”

  And with those words came the comfort she desperately sought.

  Chapter 3

  It rained, just as Nick predicted.

  A storm had actually blew in over the area and lasted right into the evening. Glenn had left the house and still hadn’t come back. It was eleven. Nick figured he must have gone to Sam’s bar to play pool. That’s what Glenn did to blow off steam.

  He’d probably never had to blow off this much steam, though. This was big, and more serious in nature than anything else. His anger was understandable.

  Nick was hoping he’d be back by now, though, because he’d been left with Mia, and he honestly didn’t know what to do. He could handle most things. Terrorist plots, a war, an ambush, anything like that.

  A crying woman, however, was something else. The most he could do was comfort her, but that came with a limit. He couldn’t hold her all day. Much as he wouldn’t have minded.

  God help him, now was the worst time to be thinking about how great she looked and how good it felt to hold her. Nick had been like a drooling fool all day with her. He would have tucked her into bed but he drew a line at that thought and reigned in his crazy emotions that took over his damn mind.

  She’d gone to her room hours ago, and he’d gone up to his to see what he could sort out for his business there.

  He’d decided that he was going to take on the case with this Alan guy. In situations like this he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to get all of the money back, but he was going to try.

  He would have asked Mia more questions but he could see that she was too distressed to talk so he thought he’d do it in the morning and go see Sawyer.

  Time was essential in cases like this, but today wasn’t the day to harness it.

  The storm was getting worse and lightning flashed against the black sky followed by a roll of thunder. He didn’t know it was going to rain this badly. It didn’t bother him much, but reminded him of his younger years with his father and their camping trips. It rained more often than not and was the kind of rain that could cancel a trip, but they enjoyed it.

  The rain now was making him think about his dad. Nick wished he was still here. He really did, and would have given anything to have him back. When he was in the Marines he imagined trading stories with his father. He’d have something to share, just like his father had all his life.

  Nick would tell him about his time spent in Afghanistan and Iraq. His father had gone to the Gulf War when Nick was younger.

  He’d tell his father about all the missions he was most proud of, the ones where he made a difference in some way. Like when he saved a whole village from being blown up, and how he ran into an ambush and helped his comrades fight off some rebels who were attempting to destroy a hospital and take all the supplies. He’d tell his father how he got shot three times while he literally carried some of his men out of a building that had exploded, saving their lives.

  His father wouldn’t believe it was him. Sometimes Nick could hardly believe it himself, coming from the wild, reckless guy he used to be who didn’t have the best past.

  Nick had always been great friends with Glenn, but he’d managed to fall in with the wrong crowd. Always the popular guys at school who liked his daring personality. Unfortunately, he fell prey to years of drug abuse, which led to terrible mistakes he could never fix. The kind that left a hole in your life. Like his father’s death.

  His father never got to see him change and become a better person. His father never got to see this version of Nick. Because this version of himself only came about as a result of his death.

  The fact of that would always get to him. The pain was more manageable now, but he still felt it the same.

  Nick sighed and pushed the thought out of his mind, stopping the bad memories from resurfacing, just like his mother advised. Stop the thought and it would stop the feelings. The bad feelings.

  He pulled in a breath and took a break from looking at the spreadsheets he’d created on his laptop. Staring out the window, he could see that the storm seemed to be getting worse. The lights flickered above him and went out for a few seconds then came back on.

  He really hoped this wasn’t going to be the kind of storm to blow out the power.

  A shuffling sound outside his door caught his attention. Then when he heard Mia yelp as thunder rumbled across the sky again, he got up and opened the door, remembering how much she hated storms. Lightning and thunder terrified her when she was younger. They’d had a running joke ab
out it for years, where she insisted that her fears were a thing of the past.

  She stood there looking scared with a blanket clutched to her chest. “Hi, I hope I didn’t wake you.” She looked nervous.

  “No, of course not. You okay?” He looked her over. She had her hair up in a high bun that highlighted her exotic cheekbones and made her look younger.

  She definitely looked young, like teenager young, in that Batman t-shirt and loose, pink pajama pants. It was really laidback wear that wasn’t designed in any way to have any form of sex appeal, but her body betrayed the casual innocence the clothes displayed.

  “Yes, I was um, wondering if um… If I could hang out in here with you? I could sit on the floor in the corner. Completely out of the way, and not bothering you at all.” Her eyes widened, making her look pitiful and vulnerable.

  “You want to hang out with me? In my room?” He inclined his head to the side. He was only messing with her, but wanted her to confess that she was asking to stay because she was scared.

  “Okay, what if I just come in and not talk? I know today was like some hell disaster and we dragged you into another family drama, but I just don’t want to be in my room, by myself.”

  “I’m not allowed to have girls in my room.” He really tried to say that with a straight face but burst out laughing when he saw the shock on her face.

  “Nick.” She smacked him in his chest playfully.

  “I’m just messing. Of course you can come in; the storm is terrible, isn’t it?”

  “I didn’t notice.”

  He laughed at her as she tried to act cool while she walked in.

  When the thunder rumbled again and lightning rippled through the sky she screamed, dropping the blanket, and came running back to him.

  “Did you notice it now?” he asked, laughing.

  “Don’t laugh.” She clutched onto his shirt and looked up at him. “Okay, I confess I hate it. It’s worse when I’m anxious.”

  He took hold of her delicate shoulders, admiring the silky feel of her skin, and smiled at her. “It’s cool. Stay with me.”

  “Thank you,” she replied. He released her. “I swear I won’t get in the way.”

  “Babe, you aren’t in the way. This is your house, remember,” he chuckled.

  “It’s not. You live here and I’m a guest.”

  He shook his head at her. “Take the bed, make yourself comfortable, and get some sleep.”

  She had to be tired. The stress alone from what had happened must have been getting to her.

  “Thanks for being so nice to me.”

  “Mia, you aren’t going to get any slack from me. Why don’t you get some sleep,” he offered. He’d most likely stay up all night anyway, but not in here. The last thing he needed was Glenn coming back drunk and pissed, and finding Mia in here, in Nick’s bed.

  “I can’t, I can’t sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep properly since everything went to hell. And I sure can’t sleep now that Glenn’s not home. Where do you think he went?” She looked worried.

  It was better that Glenn stay away until he cooled off. Much better for all of them. Nick hated him getting mad at Mia the way he did, and the things he said sometimes were vile. If Nick had a sister he would never speak to her the way Glenn spoke to Mia. Angry or not, Glenn shouldn’t have basically called her a slut, and truth be told, if Glenn was someone else, Nick would have punched him.

  “He needs time, Mia, trust me. It’s best he gets over his grief and comes back when he’s ready to act civilized.”

  Mia looked down with sad eyes.

  “Hey.” He lightly brushed her cheek with his thumb and she returned her gaze to him. “We’ll get through this.”

  “I don’t know how.” She shook her head. “I don’t see how. The police couldn’t help.”

  “I’m sure they’re doing whatever they can, but I was thinking I could do a thing or two of my own,” he offered.

  “Well if you mean tracking Alan down and hanging him over a bridge, then that would be great.”

  “I’m good to do that if you want.” It was definitely something he’d consider if he did get his hands on the dirt bag. “But I was thinking more along the lines of tracking him and trying to get some of your money back,” he offered.

  Her face brightened and her mouth dropped. “You can do that? How? How can you do that?”

  “New job. I started a private investigation firm. I thought I’d harness some of my investigative skills and apply it to civilian life. This is my kind of case.”

  “Really Nick, that’s amazing. I can’t believe you do that. Why didn’t you say before?”

  “You were too distressed to talk about it, and now you’re too tired.”

  She might not think she was tired but she was. He’d need her to go into more details than she had shared earlier and it was verging on midnight.

  It would be best if they went down to the station, spoke to Sawyer, and brainstormed from there.

  “I’m fine. I can talk.” She nodded.

  “Good, well we’ll talk about something else, then.”

  “Nick, I’m freaking out here. The thing is, if it was just my money I’d be distraught and upset but I’d be able to deal with it, but Glenn’s money got taken too. It won’t be long before my parents find out and It would just be best if I could get as much help as possible now.”

  “I understand, but trust me, you need to take a step back from this. Just for the next few hours.” He nodded firmly and gave her a pointed look, which she knew meant he wasn’t going to change his mind.

  “Okay,” she sighed.

  It was better this way. Any talk of it on his part would most likely distress her further. The theft happened a week ago; had it been the same day there was a chance that maybe he could do something about it. But a week was out of reach and control. Money went through the system and dispersed. He could bet his arm and leg that the account the money was transferred to no longer held it. Theft of this level could mean dealing with several off-shore accounts and could be spread across various different accounts by now. The chance of reclaiming the money was always slim. Even with a team of experts tracking it all down, there was a chance they would never be able to locate it all.

  Telling her that at this time of night wouldn’t help.

  She turned and bent down to pick up the blanket. Apart from noticing straight away how good her ass looked and trying hard not to look, he saw the edge of her top lift away, revealing a little butterfly tattoo. It was just in the center back of her waist, nestled in the deep curve that showed off her perfect shape.

  “Babe, you got a tattoo.” He hadn’t meant to comment, the words just came out.

  She picked up the blanket and smiled when she faced him. “Oh that, I thought it was cool. And this…” She pulled the waist of her pants down her hip and showed him the tiny lily that adorned her skin.

  Was it wrong that that simple thing turned him on? He had to resist the urge to touch her.

  “I went through a phase where it was tattoos and piercings.” She smiled.

  “Piercings?” His interests peaked.

  “Yes, I did my belly button.”

  Damn it, she lifted up her top and showed him the light blue stone centered in her belly button. It looked great against her golden skin.

  “And my—” She caught herself before she continued and turned bright red.

  Nick pulled in a slow breath to keep himself calm. Imagining where else she was pierced made his cock stir and any real thought was going to reveal exactly what he was thinking in his jogging pants.

  “Other parts,” she offered quickly.

  Now he had to ask. “Like where, Mia? I never figured you to be the tattoos and piercings type.”

  “I’m not, well not anymore.” She giggled. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re practically covered in tattoos.”

  “You don’t like my tattoos?” He folded his arms.

  “I do like them but you’re l
ooking at me like I crossed over to the dark side.”

  “Sounds like you did,” he joked. “Where else did you get pierced?” He looked her over.

  “Stop trying to guess, you’re making me nervous.” She hit him with the blanket.

  “Tell me then. Or I’ll check for myself.” He took hold of her and she tried to break free.

  “I got my nipples pierced, Nick,” she blurted and squirmed out of his hands, swatting him away.

  “You didn’t,” he challenged, now really imagining it, and it was a beautiful sight.

  “Yes, and I’m not going to show you. I don’t have it anymore anyway.”

  “Why not?” He’d never been with a woman who had nipple piercings. That would be interesting.

  “I thought I looked better without them.” Shyly she smoothed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

  “I’m sure you looked good either way.” The words came out before he could stop them. “I mean…” What the hell could he possibly say to save himself.

  She burst out laughing. “I know what you meant.”

  It was good to hear her gentle laugh. It rippled through the air and filled him. He continued to watch as she brought her hands up to her cheeks.

  “I can’t believe I told you I had my nipples pierced.” She gritted her teeth and lifted her shoulders slightly.

  “We’ve always talked about any- and everything.” He meant to be joking around but couldn’t help but notice the little flicker of something in her eyes, and the twinge he felt stir deep within himself.

  “We have,” she agreed and walked over to the bed. She sat on it cross-legged, resting the blanket next to her.

  He joined her, sitting opposite so he could see her.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, bringing her hands together.

  “Me, too,” he agreed, if only for the fact that he’d been able to calm Glenn and offer his support to her.

  “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in years. It doesn’t feel right. I missed you, a lot.”

  “I missed you, too.” He had, and felt worse when he thought about the reason he’d stayed away and lost contact with her.