Never and Always

by Khardine Gray

  With his talents and skills, he progressed very quickly. Everyone loved him, and things changed between him and Abi. With fame came a host of admiring women, and Scott soon he grew bored of her.

  After that, when he was with her, he was with her in body, but not in mind -- like an empty shell. And, what was worse was she could tell he wanted to be with other women and most likely stayed with her only because she was Margo’s best friend.

  Her love for him controlled her, made her think with her heart and never her brain. It made her give her all, but, in the end, she came to the devastating realization that it was just her who was making all the efforts in their relationship.

  Leaving him broke the spell and released her mind from the thrall he had over her. It was difficult at first to get her head around it, but she did, and she pushed him out of her mind. It was all made easier by her move from LA to New York. She made an effort to see Margo when she could and spoke to her practically every night. She missed Margo, but being so far away from Scott had been good for her. It set her life back on track. She was thirty-two now and hadn’t seen him for almost six years.

  The privilege of being with Scott was that it taught her to never give her heart away to anyone like him, someone who took advantage and couldn’t commit.

  She blamed it on her youth. She was young when she first got with Scott. She was inexperienced in life and in dealing with men. Her grandmother was very prudish and never spoke about relationships, and her mother and father had died in an accident when she was five. There was really no one to guide her. But when she left Scott, she found her way, and, now, before she even considered going on a date, the lucky guy would have to prove he was worth her time. She was single at the moment and had been for a while, but that worked for her. It did get lonely sometimes, but only sometimes. She was busy enough at work and certainly had no time for the dramas of having a relationship.

  Seeing him now was weird. Over the last few weeks, as the time grew closer to today, she’d started thinking about him and wondering how it would be when they saw each other. Knowing him, he probably wouldn’t have thought much of it. But she had, and she’d probably spent more time thinking about him than she should have.

  They didn’t exactly have an amicable split, but they didn’t have what most people deemed to be a disastrous blow up, either. Whichever way anyone chose to describe it, the whole thing left her heartbroken, and it took her a while before she could feel like herself again. She didn’t feel the hatred that most people express when they break up, but she wouldn’t exactly roll out the welcome carpet for Scott either. Looking down at him now, she didn’t feel anything one way or the other, except for the mild irritation at him for posing as if everyone should kneel down and worship him. Abi thought the next few days may be difficult, but she was hopeful that she could avoid having too much contact with him.

  Abi sighed and rolled her eyes again as she watched Scott turn to his good side so that the paparazzi who’d now gathered could take their best pictures.

  “Jesus.” She muttered under her breath and narrowed her eyes at him.

  He was standing there like he owned the world. Now there were six Barbie-doll-like women trying to get a photo with him. The ones closest to him really took advantage of the moment and snuggled into his chest. They all laughed as the photographer said something funny.

  Then, Scott went back to posing by himself. He took off his biker jacket, revealing a white T-shirt that highlighted some serious muscle across his wide shoulders, powerful chest, and rigid abs. He flexed an arm to show off the mass of his huge biceps. An image of one of those Levi’s ads came to Abi’s mind as she looked down and focused on his jeans. Just like in the ads, the jeans did a good job of showing off the athletic definition in his legs.

  Okay, so she wasn’t entirely immune to a great body. The man was definitely of the Greek god variety. Shame about the personality though. Men this good-looking should come with some kind of warning label.

  Maybe it was that sixth sense that people spoke of, or maybe it was the piercing stare she gave him that made him turn and look up to where she stood. Their eyes locked and a familiar tingle fluttered through her stomach, resonating from deep within. It was an eccentric blend of anxiety and anticipation that scattered her nerves. She didn’t expect to feel it, or anything, for that matter, and she immediately felt the off-balance daze she remembered feeling when she first met him and the world had stopped.

  They stared at each other across the distance that separated them. Even from where she was, she could see the rich turquoise color of his eyes. They sparkled as he took her in and continued to stare. The tingle turned into something more, something that heated her right up. Her body’s reaction to him both surprised and annoyed her.

  His eyes roamed over her even though he was being called and even though two of the Barbies were trying to get more pictures with him. Scott didn’t move or respond; he just continued to stare until the moment felt almost awkward. The women looked to where he was looking, to Abi.

  Politely, he lifted his hand and waved. The Abi of the past would have waved back excitedly with a smile, but she wanted to show him the changed woman she was now and mask the effect he’d just had on her. So, she tipped her head and gave him a curt nod of acknowledgment. She then turned away, not wanting to prolong the moment or the contact, and walked back through the lobby. There was no point encouraging contact even though he was three floors down and several feet away. There was a dinner later where she’d see him, but wouldn’t engage with him.

  That was how she planned to be for the rest of this trip.

  “Abi!” Gale rushed up to her.

  Abi noted the look of worry on his face, his clamped mouth and the fear in his eyes. She’d spent an hour yesterday calming his nerves. Some guys got cold feet before their wedding, but this one was too busy making sure everything was perfect for his bride. He got all worked up yesterday when the hotel placed red roses in Margo’s princess suite instead of pink ones. He said the smell and the ambiance were wrong. Abi didn’t know that red roses smelled different from pink ones and couldn’t see what the problem was because the flowers were out-of-this-world beautiful.

  Apparently, though, they weren’t good enough for his Margo, who he insisted had to have pink roses.

  Gale had the tendency to go completely over the top when it came to Margo. Even this venue, beautiful as the Saylor Hotel was and the finest in San Francisco, was insisted on by Gale. He said he wouldn’t live up to his Barrett family name if he didn’t give Margo the best. And the best for the soon to be Mrs. Barrett meant the Saylor Hotel. Aside from its exquisiteness, Becca Walker –Margo’s favorite singer and absolute idol – had gotten married here. They had to book a year in advance, and he paid for all the guests who were attending to stay here.

  “Hey, you okay?” Abi asked, greeting him with a warm smile. She geared herself up for hearing some sort of ridiculousness like she had heard yesterday.

  “No. Margo’s not here,” he winced.

  “What?” Margo was supposed to arrive last night with everyone else traveling from LA. Abi had a migraine which is why she had come early.

  “Are her parents here?”

  “Yes.” His bright blue eyes looked sad and even more worried. “They got here just after you went up to your room.”

  Margo had planned to travel with her parents. Abi found it strange that not only had she not come, but that Margo didn’t call her either. “Have you spoken to her?”

  “Yes, and no,” Gale replied with a tentative expression on his face.

  “What does that mean?” Abi laughed.

  “Abi, I did something bad.” He brought his large hands together and clasped them at his chin, then touched the dimple in his cleft.

  “What could you possibly have done?” Gale was the most perfect guy ever. He and Margo met in college and they’d been together ever since. They were the description of the perfect couple. She couldn’t even think o
f him doing something to upset Margo. “Did she find out the roses were red instead of pink?” Abi had to laugh.

  The sick look on his face held her attention. “I did something worse than that.”

  “Gale, I’m sure she’ll be here. I’ll call and check.” Abi took out her phone from her back jeans pocket.

  “No, wait. I should tell you what happened first, before you speak to her.” He held up his hands.

  Abi narrowed her gaze at him and sighed, certain this was going to be one of his crazy tales of overliness. He’d probably tell her that he thought Margo was upset because he’d told her the sheets in her room were cotton instead of silk. And, if he did Abi would happily highlight that Margo didn’t care about things like that. She was the humblest woman Abi knew, and Gale honestly didn’t need to be so over-the-top.

  “Okay,” she said, just to humor him.

  “There was something on my mind. Had been for a very long time. Years. I planned to tell her days ago, before we got here, but she’s been really busy at work. It was important to me to tell her before she got here. I wanted everything to be perfect and memorable as a happy time.”

  This sounded serious. Abi shifted her weight from one foot to the next and folded her arms under her breasts. Gale pulled in a breath and continued. “I had a secret that I needed to get off my chest.”

  “What kind of secret?” Abi bit the inside of her lip and tucked a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear.

  “The bad kind.” He brought his hand to his beard and shame filled his handsome features and made him look down. When he looked back to her, she saw that this really was serious. She’d never seen him look like that before. “Abi, about ten years ago, Margo and I had a really terrible argument. I thought that was the end of us. We’d just left college and tried to live together as a couple. Anyway, this argument we had made me think we’d broken up. I was angry, and I got drunk, and um…”

  Abi dropped her hands to her sides waiting to hear what he had to say. “What did you do, Gale?” Her voice sounded more rigid now, unlike the playful tone she’d used previously.

  “I slept with someone else.”

  Her heart stopped and skipped several beats. Her breath was caught in the walls of her chest. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  “What?” Her voice sounded fragile.

  “Abi, I don’t really want to say it again. And, it’s embarrassing for me to tell you. I can’t even remember how it happened, but it did, and I’ve lived with that secret for all this time. I couldn’t marry Margo with that on my conscience. She deserved to know, and I think she’s changed her mind. I don’t think she’s coming.”

  Well, if she didn’t, Abi would understand why. She drew her brows together and frowned at him.

  “Gale, why didn’t you tell her this before? This is crazy. You wait until two days before your wedding to tell her something that happened ten years ago!” She huffed. She was angry and disappointed. Abi instantly thought that if she felt this angry, then how did poor Margo feel?

  Gale bowed his head and lifted it up again. “I was scared. I thought I could never mention it, but I had to. Abi, I was young and dumb. I swore to God I would never treat her badly. It was also just that one time. I’m not a cheater.” His eyes glossed over. “She was crying when I told her, but then she sounded fine. I asked her if she still wanted to marry me and she said yes. I thought she’d be here by now.”

  “I’ll call her.” Abi nodded. She didn’t know what she would say to Margo, but she knew her friend would be incredibly hurt regardless of what she told Gale, and it was definitely the reason why she wasn’t here.

  “Thank you.”

  “Abi,” said a smooth, cool voice she’d recognize anywhere. Her breath quickened. Abi looked up to find herself gazing up into Scott’s turquoise eyes. The simple tingle she had felt when she’d watched him from the balcony was nothing in comparison to the heat that rose within her now. It was because of the way he was looking at her. Smoldering with the heat she felt, probing and boring into her with an intensity that made her swallow hard and try to calm her racing heart.

  Considering that she’d been on a six-year mission to purge herself of him, she wasn’t doing so well. It wasn’t helping that being this close to him gave her a good view of how much hotter he’d become since she last saw him. Looking at him from afar gave only a taste; up close, he was all kinds of gorgeous, and six years older looked great on him. The boyish look he had about him back then had turned into sharper, more striking masculine features, and, while he still exhibited that bad-boy presence with overpowering wildness, he had an air of maturity that was even more attractive.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but Gale beat her to it. “Scott, hey,” Gale replied putting out his hand to shake Scott’s. Gale looked nervous. He always did around Scott, but, with the secret he just disclosed to Abi, she was sure he must have felt like he was walking on eggshells. “When’d you get here?” Even his voice wavered.

  “Just now,” Scott replied. He must have meant the time at which he’d come up the steps because he’d been here for at least half an hour. “Abi.” He focused his attention on her again.

  “Hi.” She raised her chin and put on her best smile, trying not to see more into the look of interest he was giving her, or the way that his eyes caressed her with softness.

  Her phone started to ring in her hand. It was an unknown number. She would have hung up on a normal day but welcomed the excuse of a phone call to get away from Scott. She answered it.

  “Abi!” It was Margo.

  “Hey there. Why are you calling from an unknown number?”

  “Are you near Gale?” Her voice was heavy with the type of panic that immediately made Abi nervous.

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t’ let him know you’re talking to me,” she said quickly.

  Abi glanced at Gale who was looking at her eagerly. “Why?”

  Margo made a whimpering noise and Abi realized she was crying. “Please, if you’re standing near him, move away.”

  Abi moved away and walked over to the corner of the room, leaving a perplexed Gale with Scott. “I’m away,” Abi told her. “Scott’s here.”

  Margo broke down. “Oh Abi, I seriously could do with having either of you here now. There are times in life when you lose your strength and when all a girl needs is her best friend or her big brother to help her pick up the pieces of a stupid mistake.”

  Abi held her breath as anxiety filled her stomach. “Sweetie, are you okay?” She asked trying to keep her voice under control. She felt it was more appropriate to allow Margo to tell her what happened and comment after. Scott glanced over at her, but she ignored him.

  “Abi, Gale told me he slept with some random girl just after we left college,” she cried.

  Abi turned around when she saw Gale looking on desperately. She couldn’t have a private conversation with him looking at her like that, and Scott was an excuse all by himself. There was a reason she wanted no contact.

  The last time they saw each other was when she’d gone to see him at the football stadium to break up with him. He’d had one of those man-hungry groupies on his lap. A fiery redhead who looked like all she wanted was sex. Abi would never forget the sight of the two of them. She had to tell him she was leaving him while the skank had her arms locked around his neck, and all Scott did was respond with a laugh. That was it. Seven years down the toilet and all the man could do was laugh. He never even came after her, she reflected with bitterness. She couldn’t have been more embarrassed, but what was worse than any embarrassment or humiliation was the hurt that left her feeling bereft and desolate.

  Abi walked back to the balcony, listening to Margo cry. After what Gale had told her, she expected this. She just wished she knew what was going on.

  “Margo, Gale just told me. Are you okay?”

  “No, I’m not. I’m heartbroken and a mess. Abi, I was at work when he told me. I was crushed after we spoke,
but I made him think everything was all okay.”

  “What are you going to do? The wedding is in two days, and all the guests will be here by tomorrow morning.”

  “I know,” she winced.

  “Are you… calling it off?” Abi asked with caution. To her, what had happened was a solid reason which anyone would understand, but, at the same time, she thought it would be sad. She didn’t understand why men had to be such jerks sometimes and ruin a good thing.

  “I wanted to. And… I panicked. Abi, I’ve just made the situation worse.”

  “By doing what?” She held her breath.

  “I got on a bus to Phoenix.”

  “What?” Abi couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  “I know, it’s crazy.” She winced. Abi could hear the frustration in her voice. “After Gale spoke to me I was in shock, upset and so numb I couldn’t think straight. One minute I was in LA getting ready to finish up at work, then he called and my mind went blank. I knew I should have been heading over to San Francisco with my parents but I ended up at the bus station.”

  That was definite, understandable shock. “God, are you okay?” It was a stupid question, but Abi asked it anyway.

  “No Abi, it gets worse.”

  Oh, sweet Lord. Abi closed her eyes remembering how eccentric and spontaneous her friend could be. “How?”

  “I changed my mind after I cooled off and had time to think. I remembered how much I love Gale, and that the mistake was well in the past. I was going to head to San Francisco, but then I couldn’t find my bag. I swear, I had it with me the whole time. I remember having it when I got to the station in Phoenix. And I remember sitting in the waiting area, but then it was gone. I think it got stolen.” Margo shrieked.

  “Shit.” Abi brought her hand up to her mouth, completely startled by what she was hearing. “Did you report it?”

  “I did, but that’s the least of my worries. Everything was in there Abi. All my ID, my money, phone, everything. Abi, I’m stuck here and I can’t get to you.” Margo broke down again.

  Shit, this was complete crap. What a thing to happen.