A Million Dirty Secrets

by C. L. Parker

  Before I even had a chance to lower myself to the bed, Noah had flipped over and was now between my legs, his nose skimming my swollen clit while his lips hovered dangerously close to where I wanted him to be.

  “You fucking make me crazy, Delaine,” he groaned. “You shouldn’t offer yourself so willingly to someone who’s supposed to disgust you. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  I sighed. “I do believe you said you love a woman who knows what she wants? Well, right now, what I want is your mouth on me.” Don’t ask me where or how an inexperienced, recently de-virginalized person such as myself got the nerve to say something like that. It was just as much a mystery to me, but it felt natural nonetheless.

  I rolled my hips toward his face to accentuate my point.

  He growled, baring his perfect teeth at me. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “No.”

  “No?” I asked, confused.

  Double Agent Coochie’s mouth dropped open in shock.

  He opened his eyes, and the intensity of the now darkened steel gray color that had replaced the hazel almost startled me. “If we do this right now, I’m going to want to fuck you. Hard.” He growled the words with heavy breaths. “I won’t be gentle, and trust me, your pussy can’t handle the kind of beating I’d be putting on it. Yet. So you might want to stop trying to seduce me.”

  “Don’t even, Noah,” I scoffed. “What’s so different now from when you used me as your dessert bowl the other night? You had enough control not to fuck me then.”

  “I hadn’t had you then. I hadn’t felt you wrapped around my cock, squeezing me. God, you felt so good,” he said with his eyes closed, apparently reliving the feeling in his mind. Then he shook his head and hoarsely whispered, “I can’t.”

  With the finality of his words still ringing in my ears, he leapt out of bed and raked his hands through his already sleep-disheveled hair—which, just for the record, resembled his I-just-fucked-you hair, and that made Double Agent Cooch ache to run her fingers through it as well.

  I brought my addled attention back to him and saw that his cock was still hard as a rock, large and in charge. Damn, his arousal alone was almost enough to make me want to beg for it. Almost.

  “You can’t do shit like that, Delaine! I could bend you over any available surface in this house and fuck you hard and fast, anytime I want. Don’t forget that.” He ran his hands over his face and then perched them on his hips. “All right, look. I’m going to go take a dip in the hot tub so that I can try to settle down some. You might want to make sure you’re out of my bed and dressed before I get back up here.”

  “So you’re just going to leave me like this?” I asked incredulously as I motioned between my open legs.

  His eyes were drawn down to my core like a magnet, and I didn’t know if I wanted to giggle over his lack of control or hand him a bib to help with the drool on his chin.

  “Fuck!” he growled. “Yes. I’m leaving you like that.”

  He yanked the door open and was gone. His glorious ass practically smirked at me as he disappeared from sight.

  I slammed my head back on the bed and grabbed his pillow, covering my face with it to smother my scream of frustration. Noah Crawford made no sense to me whatsoever. He’d purchased me for exactly this sort of thing, had told me to not be afraid to take what I wanted, but when I swallowed my pride and attempted to do just that, he told me I couldn’t, and then he ran away like a scared little girl.

  Had something happened in the middle of the night and the roles somehow gotten reversed? Maybe I’d slipped into an alternate universe. And why on earth was I all of a sudden so horny for him? Well, I knew the answer to that one: Double Agent Coochie. The slut had taken over my life.

  My pussy was throbbing with need, and I groaned.

  I jumped out of bed, still naked as a jaybird, and went after him, hoping I wouldn’t get lost in that monster of a house trying to find the hot tub. Also, I might not want the help to see me naked if I were in my right mind, but I wasn’t, so it was cool. Besides, it seemed they were never there when Noah was, so it was a safe bet we had the house to ourselves.

  I somehow managed to find him despite the size of the house. He was outside; the early morning sun had just made its appearance over the horizon and the sky was bathed in rich oranges and pinks. The backyard was vast and I noticed there was a rather large swimming pool there, but my mind was elsewhere, so I paid little attention to any of the other details. Noah’s back was to me and his broad shoulders were stretched out, his arms draped over the side of the tub, as thick steam swirled around him. His head was back and his eyes were closed as he took deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth.

  I walked toward him, careful not to alert him to my presence. He didn’t stir at all as I carefully slipped into the hot tub and slowly inched toward him. His muscled neck was stretched out invitingly and his chiseled chest glistened with water droplets. He was beautiful—a perfect specimen of a predator able to lure its prey by his appearance alone.

  I could’ve stayed like that, ogling him. But I hated him, so you’ve probably already guessed what I did. Before he could become aware of my intentions and attempt to stop me, I placed my hands on his sides and straddled his lap, immediately nuzzling the spot between his neck and shoulder.

  Not what you expected? You try to see if you could pass that opportunity up.

  “Delaine, what are you doing?” He grabbed my shoulders and tried to push me back, but I pushed back harder.

  “I’m taking what I want, Noah. You don’t get to renege on your offer.” I positioned myself against his still-hard cock.

  “Stop!” he ordered, persistently pushing me away.

  I was caught off guard and lost my balance, which in turn made me fall heavily into the heated water. A chlorinated deluge splashed around me, drenching my hair. I huffed in frustration and crossed my arms over my chest, giving him the major stinkeye. Enough was enough. Both the cooch and I were hot, horny, and waaaaaay pissed off.

  “What’s your problem, Crawford?” I threw my hands into the air and slammed them back down into the water, showering him.

  He calmly wiped the drops of water from his face, but his chest was heaving, indicating he was anything but calm. “I’m trying not to hurt you any more than I already have,” he said between clenched teeth. “A feat you’re making insanely hard for me to do at the moment.”

  I lunged toward him and scrambled back onto his lap. I grabbed his cock and placed it at my entrance, prepared to do all the work myself. He tried to fight me off, but I was a persistent little minx when I had my mind set on something. And at that moment I needed to prove something to myself. Noah had walked away from me earlier that morning after I’d shamelessly thrown myself at him, and that didn’t sit well with me. Rejection sucked.

  “Fine! You want it? You got it,” he snapped, and then he grabbed my hips and pushed down hard.

  “Fuck!” we both yelled at the same time. Only mine was more like a “son of a whore, this shit fucking hurts” kind of a fuck, where his was an “oh my God, this feels so fucking good” kind of a fuck. It was a lot of F-bombs, but completely warranted.

  I sucked in a breath and held it as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my fingertips digging into his shoulders. I tried so hard not to move because doing so would’ve made it hurt even more.

  His hot breath was on my ear. “See? I told you, but you just have to be so stubborn, so defiant, don’t you?” His hands rubbed up and down my back in a soothing motion as he continued. “Will you please let me decide when you’re ready now? I might have a little more experience than you at this sort of thing.”

  I nodded in acquiescence, still holding my breath and unable to talk. Noah lifted me off him slowly and cradled me in his lap. He pushed my hair out of my face and stroked my cheek. “I promise there will be plenty of fucking over the next two years, and I really appreciate your eagerness to please both yourself and me. It’s wh
at made it too hard for me to take care of you back there in the bedroom.”

  Normally his assumption that I was all hung up on him and his dick would’ve earned a snarky response from me. But to be honest, I didn’t have it in me. It really did hurt and I felt defeated. Plus, he was right: I was all kinds of hung up—on his dick, not him.

  I wasn’t stupid. I knew it wasn’t normal for me to feel that way about someone I was supposed to hate. I did still hate him, but something totally messed up was going on in my brain and body. Maybe it was Stockholm syndrome or something. I guessed my not exactly being his hostage ruled that out. And I wasn’t really being forced to do anything against my will; I’d signed the contract, even decided the terms of said contract. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, but I really wished I’d been coming.

  He lifted my chin and softly kissed my lips. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered with his forehead against mine. “This whole thing was supposed to be about pleasure, not pain.”

  “Yours, not mine,” I reminded him.

  Noah closed his eyes and sighed before sitting up. “At first? Yeah.” He sighed again and watched as his hand caressed the swell of my breasts. “I want you to feel good, Delaine.”

  Me too. What did he think I’d been trying to do all morning?

  I lifted myself from his lap and turned to face him. My fingers twitched, wanting to touch his hair, so I granted them that small favor. He reached for my hips and pulled me to him, his mouth suckling my breast. But I needed more. So I put one foot on the bench seat beside him and nudged him on the shoulder until he released my nipple and sat back. Then I did the same with my other foot and hoisted myself up into a standing position, my body dripping wet. Double Agent Coochie was directly in front of his face, and she puckered her lips for a kiss.

  Noah cupped the back of my thighs to offer further support and keep me from falling. He looked up at me, his hazel eyes a kaleidoscope of colors questioning my intent.

  I gave him a half smile and said, “Make me feel good, Noah.” Then I laced my fingers through his hair and nudged his head forward.

  He smiled at me, his eyes lighting up with desire as he bit down on his bottom lip and shook his head. “Where did you come from, Delaine Talbot?”

  He didn’t wait for an answer. His mouth was on me, placing openmouthed kisses on my folds, sucking the skin into his mouth while his tongue did that magical thing it did. My head dropped back and I moaned loudly, letting him know just how good he was making me feel. His fingertips were firm against my thighs, demonstrating his strength and assuring me that he wouldn’t let me fall. My fingers worked through his hair, urging him closer. Then his very talented tongue dipped inside me and I loosened my hold to allow him movement to thrust it in and out.

  “God, I should be paying you,” I moaned.

  His tongue swirled around my clit and then he lightly grazed the swollen bundle of nerves with his teeth before gently sucking on it.

  “Right there,” I mewled, pushing my hips closer while pulling his hair to keep him in place.

  He kept sucking on my clit while flicking his tongue over it quickly. That inexplicable glorious pressure was building in my girly bits as my legs started shaking. Noah brought his hands up to cup my ass and held me to him. He maneuvered until his fingers were grazing my opening, but he didn’t enter. Instead, he went to the puckered skin of my ass and pressed until one finger was inside me.

  “Holy fuck!” I screamed out as I came.

  My insides exploded and my body started to convulse. I might have been afraid that my knees would buckle and I would fall if I hadn’t been so completely overwhelmed by the sensations radiating through every molecule of my body.

  “That’s right, kitten.” His husky voice dripped with lust, even though his mouth was still on me. “Feel good for me. Feel good, only for me.”

  My hands had such a tight grip on his head, shoving his face into my pussy, that I wasn’t sure how he was able to make any coherent sounds. I wasn’t even sure how he managed to breathe, let alone talk. He sucked my clit into his mouth again and moved his finger slowly in my ass, causing another orgasmic wave to shoot through my body. I was seeing little tongue-shaped stars by that point and I didn’t know how much more I could take, but I wasn’t going to stop him.

  However, I did let my fingers relax in his hair so that he could regain some freedom of movement. He apparently thought that meant he had permission to stop, because that’s exactly what he did.

  Note to self: the next time Noah Crawford has his face buried in your pussy, do not let go of the back of his head.

  “Come down here, baby,” he urged me as he put his hands behind my knees to help me down.

  I sank down onto his lap and immediately claimed his mouth with my own, wanting to show some appreciation for the pleasure he had given to me.

  “That … felt … so good,” I managed to get out between kisses.

  “Yeah?” he asked with a conceited grin.

  “Yeah,” I said, pressing my sensitive pussy against his hard-on. “I want to make you feel good now.”

  “Delaine …,” he warned.

  “I know, I know, but I don’t think it will hurt. If it does, we’ll stop, okay?”

  I wanted to do it, plus I was still so horny for him, even though he’d just gotten me off. I didn’t know how to explain it. All I knew was that I really wanted to make him feel good, and I didn’t think that sucking him off was going to be enough to show my appreciation after what he had done for me. I wanted him. I wanted his cock buried deep in me.

  “Please?” I begged pathetically.

  “I want to … really fucking bad,” he said, squeezing my hips and moving me against him. “But we shouldn’t. Not yet.”

  His hands stilled on me as he turned his head away. And then in this really detached and commanding sort of voice, he said, “We’re going shopping today. Go on up to the room and get dressed. I’ll use one of the other bathrooms.”

  What had just happened? He was all Richard Gere sexy and chivalrous one minute, Attila the Hun tyrannical the next.

  “So I guess now we’re back to the whole ‘I bought you and you’ll do as you’re told’ thing?” I asked, stung once again by his rejection.

  “We never left there. I said I want you to feel good, but that doesn’t change anything. I just wanted you to know that I’m not a total bastard.” He still refused to look at me.

  “Yeah, well, I disagree,” was my only response. If he could act the part of the authoritarian boss, then I could certainly act the part of the disgruntled employee.

  I removed myself from his lap again and climbed out of the hot tub. In my rush to find him, I hadn’t thought to grab a towel, so when I saw his draped over the back of a nearby lounge chair, I took it for myself. I heard him mutter an expletive behind me, but I didn’t think it was over the stupid towel. Regardless, I didn’t bother to look back at him before I wrapped it around my torso and went back into the house.

  Of course he was right. Not about him not being a total bastard, but about nothing having changed. I had been stupid and naïve to think that his kind words during his momentary lapse meant he actually had a heart. I mean, what sort of knight in shining armor runs out and buys a whore for his own selfish purposes anyway? Regardless of the fact that he wanted me to feel good as well. That was only something else he got off on—knowing he was so good that he could command total control of my body when I’d lost all ability to control it myself.

  Back in the room, I jumped into the shower, leaning against the wall as the water washed away my tears of rejection. What the hell was I doing? I’d thrown myself at him, practically attacking the man who was supposed to disgust me. And why? Because he gave great head? I was the disgusting one. He was supposed to be the predator and me his prey. Yet I was carrying on like some crazed nymphomaniac.

  And where did I get off, getting off while my mother, the sole reason I’d done this in the first place, was
lying at home in her bed, probably dying? I hadn’t even called to check in, for Christ’s sake. I didn’t think it had anything at all to do with the distraction that was Noah Crawford, but maybe more with my shame, with a fear that if I talked to my folks they’d somehow know what I’d done. Of course that was silly. The fact of the matter remained that I had no clue if they’d found my mother a donor or if the surgery had been scheduled yet. I knew Dez would call me if there was something seriously wrong, but for all intents and purposes, my parents thought I was in New York getting an education, not right under their noses in Chicago getting my freak on. They were probably worried to death that I hadn’t called.

  I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. I could hear Noah mumbling a string of profanities from his closet, and I stifled a giggle. Apparently he didn’t like my organizational skills. Within minutes, I heard him slam the closet door.

  “I’ll be in the goddamn car! If you know what’s best for you, you won’t keep me waiting!”

  With that, another door slammed and he was gone.

  My towel still wrapped around me, I grabbed my cell phone and sat on the side of the bed. Just one push of a button and two rings later, my father’s voice came through on the other end.

  “Lanie, sweetie. What’s wrong?” Mack’s tired voice sent a pang of guilt through me, and I wanted to cry.

  “Nothing’s wrong. Can’t I just call my parents to check in?” I asked, trying to sound irritated, in an attempt to keep the sadness out of my voice.

  “Er, yeah, of course you can. How’s the Big Apple treating you?”

  “Fine. My classes are intense, and one of my professors is a gigantic bastard,” I answered, only slightly lying. Okay, so I was doing some serious lying, but technically, there really was someone in authority over me who was educating me. Just not the sort of education my parents thought I would be getting.

  “Yeah, well, keep your nose to the grindstone and stay away from all those frat parties and you’ll do fine, kiddo.”

  “Mack, you sound tired. Are you getting any rest at all?”