She nodded.
He glanced up. “If it’s all the same to you two, we’re leaving.”
“Sure, no problem,” Tony responded. “Max and I will probably be tied up for some time.”
Max looked stunned to see the woman he had assumed belonged to Tony walking out with another man. Jennifer guessed that he was probably coming to the conclusion that he hadn’t figured things out quite right, after all.
Chad didn’t say anything all the way down in the elevator. Neither did Jennifer. When they reached the street, Jennifer looked up and said, “Now, what?”
He motioned to her car. When they got inside, he said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay in town any longer. Would you mind driving home tonight?”
She smiled. “Not at all.”
“I’m staying here. I’ve still got to find my car. Tony said he could probably find out from Max where it is.”
He began to drive toward the Strip.
“Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
“Tony’s been filling me in, but there’s no sense in getting you involved any more than you already are. That’s why I want you to return home.” He glanced at her. “Will you do that for me?”
She nodded. “Whatever you say.”
“I’d looked forward to taking you out tonight. Maybe we can do it some other time.”
“Maybe we can.”
“Jennifer?”
She continued to stare straight ahead. “Yes?”
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Just let down, I guess. I don’t know.”
“A lot of things have happened in the past forty-eight hours.”
“Yes.”
“You still aren’t sure about me, either, are you?”
She glanced at him in surprise. “Of course I’m sure of you. I would trust you with my life.”
“Thank you. But how are you going to feel about working with me now that you know who I am?”
“I’m not sure.”
“We’ve got to take this one step at a time. Can you understand that?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe me when I tell you I love you?”
How could she not believe him when her mind was filled with his images, his feelings and thoughts? “1 believe you.”
He was quiet for many long minutes. “You need time to think it through.”
She couldn’t disagree. Jennifer no longer knew what to think or feel. She was confused, and being around
Chad at the moment was only contributing to the problem.
Chad pulled up in front of the Lucky Lady and got out of the car, leaving it running. She got out and walked around to the driver’s side. He stopped her before she sat down. She stood by the door, leaning against the car. He leaned over and kissed her very softly on her lips. “Drive carefully.”
“I will.”
“Let me know when you get home.”
“Okay.”
“Tell Sam hello for me.”
She groaned. She’d forgotten about Sam. “If he’s speaking to me by then.‘’
Chad touched her cheek with his forefinger, tracing an imaginary line along her jaw, then up to her lips. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Jennifer suddenly remembered all the work waiting for him when he returned. It was hard to remember that when she’d left the office on Friday her boss had been a distant and aloof employer to whom she gave little thought after office hours. She shook her head, bewildered at the changes that had come about so quickly.
As though he could no longer help himself Chad drew her closer and kissed her. She could feel his heart’s heavy rhythm in his chest. Jennifer realized that he didn’t want her to leave him. She got a brief flash of them in bed together, and she could feel her body beginning to respond.
Chad abruptly let go of her and stepped away, his eyes refusing to meet hers, but not before his body, as well as his thoughts, had given him away.
Jennifer slid into the car and closed the door.
“Don’t forget, Sunshine. I want to know the minute you get home.”
She nodded, refusing to look at him. One more look and she would wrap herself around him and beg to stay with him that night. Yet, that was what they were afraid of. What would happen once they made love to each other? Would it destroy the closeness they shared? Did they dare find out?
She knew Chad wasn’t ready to test that part of their relationship. She wondered if he ever would be.
While Jennifer made the long, lonely drive back to Los Angeles, she finally recognized what she should have seen sooner. Chad had no intention of letting their relationship go any further. If he had, he would have told her who he was before now. She was beginning to understand why he had tried to talk her out of finding out who he was.
Chad had felt safe in the role he was playing in her life. He knew what she did in her time away from the office. He worked with her during the day, so was able to spend time with her.
If Chad had his way, they would continue their relationship as it now was, with her added knowledge of who he was.
Could she be content with a life like that? Not knowing the full physical intimacy of a relationship? Granted she hadn’t been tempted to explore much before now, partly because she had never felt that pull with anyone. However, now that Chad had kissed her, had held her and had allowed her to discover how much he wanted her, Jennifer knew she was going to have difficulty coming to terms with not being able to fully share her life with him.
By the time Jennifer reached her apartment she was exhausted. She had only a few hours to sleep before it was time to get up and go to the office. There was no question but that she had to be there, now that she knew he wasn’t going to be.
She barely got into the apartment before a flying ball of fur landed on her shoulder. “Sam! You scared me.” He began to nuzzle her cheek and neck, telling her how miserable he’d been without her. He had begun to feel abandoned and was too pleased to see her to be upset.
Jennifer carried him into the bedroom along with her small bag. “I’m home, Chad.”
The reply came back immediately. “Thank God. Any problems?”
“Not a one.”
“Sam okay?”
“He seems fine. Very glad to see me, as a matter of fact.”
“Probably did him good to be on his own for a while. He’ll appreciate you more.”
“Could be.”
“Try to get some sleep now, Sunshine.”
“When do you think you’ll be back to the office?”
“I’ll have to call you when I know something definite.”
“Love you, Chad,” she said sleepily as she climbed into bed and curled into her pillow.
“Sleep well, Sunshine. You’ve had a rough weekend.”
When the alarm went off Monday morning, Jennifer had the curious sensation that she had dreamed her entire weekend. Was it really possible that C. W. Cameron was also her friend Chad?
By the time she had been at the office for a few hours the events of the weekend had been shoved to the back of her mind, and she found herself racing to stay abreast of the new paperwork and phone calls that came through with persistent regularity.
It was sometime after four o’clock and Jennifer had long since lost track of the number of calls she’d answered when the phone rang once again.
“Mr. Cameron’s office.”
“Ms. Chisholm?”
Jennifer’s heart seemed to leap out of her chest. She had no trouble recognizing the deep voice on the other end. Nor did she miss the aloof tone and the name he had used. “Yes, Mr. Cameron?” She couldn’t control the slight quiver in her voice.
“Is there anything happening that I need to know about?”
Funny you should ask, she thought dryly. “Several things came in the mail today that will prove helpful with some of your investigations.” As she had done so often in the past years, Jennifer quickly summarized phone messages, i
nformation from the mail and interoffice communications. He gave her instructions, delegated some of the work, took down some numbers and told her he would be in touch.
“Uh, Mr. Cameron—?”
“Yes?” There was nothing but professional politeness in the tone.
“When do you expect to be in the office?”
“Hopefully the latter part of the week.”
“Have they recovered your car?”
There was a moment of electrified silence, as though she had said something shockingly intimate. She waited, not knowing what else to do, but she got the definite impression that she was infringing on his privacy.
Jennifer had almost decided he wasn’t going to respond at all when he said, “Yes. I have my car.” A statement of fact, no more. He wasn’t going to say when he got it, or where it had been, or if it had been damaged. And he had made it clear that it was none of her business.
“Oh. Well. I’m glad to hear it.”
“Was there anything else?” he asked impatiently.
“No. I believe that was all,” she said slowly.
“I’ll check in with you in a day or two.”
“Fine.” Jennifer carefully put down the phone. The rest of the office was busy. No one had thought anything of the phone call she had just received. Just the normal communications between the boss and his assistant. That was the problem. It had been too normal. He had totally ignored everything that had happened over the weekend.
Jennifer spent the rest of the day concentrating on carrying out her employer’s instructions. Carefully typing up his comments, she attached a sheet of paper to the front of new files she had set up, then placed them on the desks of the other two investigators.
By the time she was ready to leave the office, Jennifer was proud of what she had accomplished that day. Driving home she made the startling discovery that no doubt that was the reason Chad had reverted to the C. W. Cameron she knew. He valued her work as his assistant. He didn’t want to cause anything to change that, even if he sacrificed a possibly closer relationship.
Once again., Sam seemed to be pleased to see her when she got home. She was glad someone was.
After dinner she tried to watch television, but couldn’t keep her attention focused long enough to follow what was happening.
Finally, she could stand the silence no longer. “Chad?” She waited a few moments but got no response. “Chad. Can you hear me?” Still no answer. Again, this was nothing new. For the past six months she had not communicated with him. He was making it clear to her. The only reason he had contacted her on Friday was because he had no other recourse if he wanted to get out alive. She had served her purpose.
Jennifer didn’t even realize she was crying until the tears began to drip off her cheeks. Nothing had really changed since last Friday. And yet, everything had changed. Jennifer had been given a glimpse of what her life could be with the man she loved. She also knew that he loved her. He hadn’t been able to conceal his feelings from her.
But C. W. Cameron had made the decision not to do anything about his feelings. And he expected her to accept his decision.
During the coming weeks Jennifer tried. She put Chad out of her mind every time something reminded her of him. She put everything about her weekend in Las Vegas to the back of her mind, determined to wait until the pain was less before allowing herself to enjoy the few memories she had of being with him.
C. W. Cameron followed the same schedule as he had before. He spent a few days in the office, catching up on paperwork, then was gone again. Never by word, look or action did he give her any indication that he saw her as anything but his assistant. He treated her with aloof courtesy and distant kindness.
Jennifer wasn’t at all sure she was going to be able to survive his courtesy and kindness. As the weeks went by, she felt less and less like eating and it began to show. Several of the women at work teased her about her new diet.
C. W. Cameron neither noticed nor cared.
Eventually her resistance dropped and she came down with the flu, missing several days work. He called once to see how she was feeling, but only as her boss concerned about her welfare.
During those days of fever and pain, of sleepless nights and drug-filled days, Jennifer realized that she had accepted his decision as final. Who did he think he was? Why did he have the right to step into her head and heart whenever he pleased, then blithely walk away when he became too uncomfortable with the situation?
By the time she woke up one morning, weak but clear-eyed, Jennifer knew that she was not going to give up without a fight. And the man she worked for had already taught her something about fighting, fair or otherwise. If one didn’t work, she’d try the other.
She waited until she was able to get back to full production on the job, which took some time. Jennifer was disgusted at herself for allowing her body to become so weakened. She had more self-respect than that. In order to fill some of her lonely evenings she joined a health club and began to work out after she left the office. She met several people who came in regularly at the same time as she did and they began to visit back and forth while they worked on the machines.
Jennifer was pleased with her body’s response. As she gained her weight back she began putting it on in all the right places. There had been nothing wrong with her body before, but now it looked even better.
She also discovered that she had much more energy. No longer did she drag home and fall on the couch exhausted after a day of hard work.
However, the biggest change was in her attitude to her employer.
“Good morning, Ms. Chisholm,” he said one morning after having been out of the office for two weeks.
Her smile was warm and welcoming, filled with sparkle. “It’s good to have you back,” she said. Her tone was filled with such a loving quality that he glanced around to see if anyone else had heard her. No one seemed to be in the vicinity.
“Are these my messages?” he muttered, avoiding her gaze.
“Um-hmm,” she said softly.
She watched with interest as a darker color spread over his tanned cheeks. “May I get you a cup of coffee?” she asked pleasantly.
His eyes darted to her in disbelief. In all the years they had worked together, she had never offered to bring him coffee before. He nodded abruptly. “Thank you,” he said, striding into his own office.
She paused in the doorway of his office when she returned with his coffee. I’m so glad you’re back, she said to him silently. I’ve missed you.
He never looked up, but she noticed his grip tightened on the pen he was holding. She set the cup down on his desk. “Do you need anything else?” she asked quietly.
He shook his head, refusing to look up.
Chad had heard her, she knew that. Whether he answered her or not, he had not tuned her out, which gave her an idea for another experiment.
She knew many things about this man, things she hadn’t consciously realized. A person couldn’t trade thoughts with another person for years without learning about them. Jennifer had also learned quite a lot about him the weekend they had spent in Las Vegas. That knowledge could be put to work to help her convince him that they deserved the chance to see if they could make a relationship work.
Jennifer had a vague glimmering of what she had in mind, but didn’t have the knowledge to fulfill it. As soon as she got off work that night she went to the public library and checked out several books oh sex. When she noticed the expression on the librarian’s face, Jennifer just smiled and explained, “Research.”
For the next couple of weeks Jennifer read several sex manuals, studied pictures and received a crash course in all the sensual arts. She found herself blushing more than once but reminded herself that all of this was perfectly normal and natural between two people who loved each other.
She loved Chad. She knew that Chad loved her.
Now all she had to do was to convince him to give their relationship a chance.
Chapte
r Eight
Contents - Prev / Next Jennifer planned her strategy carefully. For this to work at all, she wanted Chad in the same town, at least. So she had to wait until he returned from his latest trip.
In the meantime, she continued to treat him with warmth and friendliness whenever he called in, amused to note that he had become even more aloof with her efforts. Whether he was calling from out of town or was in the office, she was open and amiable with him.
The day he came in from the Midwest he looked tired and discouraged.
“How was your trip?”
“Rugged,” was his only reply. He went into his office and sank down in his chair, staring at the papers in front of him with dismay.
“None of those are emergencies,” she said, following him into the room. “May I make a suggestion?”
He glanced up at her warily, an expression to which she had grown accustomed during the past few months.
“Why don’t you go on home?” she asked as though he had responded. “It’s already after three. There’s nothing here that can’t wait until tomorrow to be dealt with, after you’ve had a good night’s sleep.”
He leaned his head wearily against the back of his chair. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a while,” he admitted.
“ You‘ ve been working too hard.”
His eyes met hers and she immediately knew what he was thinking. “You know exactly why I’ve been working so hard. ”
She was sure he wouldn’t appreciate her acknowledging that she had picked up his statement. Instead, she said, “I have another suggestion. You might want to do what I do after a long, hard day.”
“What’s that?”
“I go home, fill my bathtub with warm water, pour myself a glass of wine, light a candle and sit there in the tub, sipping on the wine, and let my mind go blank. I try not to think of a thing. Just sit there and relax. It’s amazing how much it helps. I sleep a lot better, too.”
“I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.”
She steeled herself from responding that she knew. Because of her feelings for him, she had been able to tune into him more and more over the past few months. She knew how unhappy he was, how confused, and how determined he was not to do anything to cause her to quit her job and leave him entirely.
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